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In the Name of God بسم الله
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ma'e ma'een

How often do you disagree with your parents?

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It could be a lot, but I love my parents. Everyone should love his or her parents, although they may have some disagreements. Nobody should offend or discredit his or her parents.

The Holy Prophet of Islam peace be upon him says:

“Beware! Abstain from angering the parents. The fragrance of Paradise is perceived even at a distance of a thousand years, but those who are disobedient to parents and those who cut off ties with relatives will not be able to smell it.”

The Holy Prophet peace be upon him also said.

One who displeases the parents, (it is as if) he has displeased Allah. One who angers both his parents (it is as if) he has angered Allah.

Elsewhere, it is mentioned:

One who hurts his parents hurts me and one who hurts me has hurt Allah. And the one who hurts Allah is accursed.” Mustadrak ul-Wasa’il (the name of a book)

The Holy Prophet peace be upon him has also stated:

Allah will not speak to three kinds of people on the Day of Judgment (Qiyāma). Neither will He have mercy upon them nor will He purify their sins. There is for them a horrible chastisement. The Three types of people are the believers in destiny, the drunkards and those who disobeyed their parents.”

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There are good and bad people in this world, and even bad people become parents.

There are many toxic parents who tells wrong things to children and show bad examples. There are selfish and abusive parents who harm or sacrifice own children for their desires. Since no parents are infallible, we can't not blindly obey our parents to follow wrong orders and destroy ourselves. I hope there are hadith or other sources in shia that provide guidance to unfortunate children of such parents.

Does anyone have any?

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I tend to disagree with my parents when they talk about religion with a cultural perspective. Nothing gets on my nerves more when people try to pass cultural norms as "what Allah tells us to do." Arab and Desi parents do this a lot. 

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9 hours ago, ema said:

There are good and bad people in this world, and even bad people become parents.

There are many toxic parents who tells wrong things to children and show bad examples. There are selfish and abusive parents who harm or sacrifice own children for their desires. Since no parents are infallible, we can't not blindly obey our parents to follow wrong orders and destroy ourselves. I hope there are hadith or other sources in shia that provide guidance to unfortunate children of such parents.

Does anyone have any?

I don't know of any hadith, but definitely it isn't allowed to obey a parent's order which is contrary to Islam. 

Anyway, we aren't obligated to obey our parents, strictly speaking. We are obligated to love and respect them, and one aspect of love and respect is obedience, where appropriate. Even if the parents are cruel, a Muslim is not to cause them unnecessary hardship and should try to love them as much as they are able. This doesn't mean hide criminal acts, and it doesn't mean a person can't distance themselves from the cruel parent to the extent necessary in order to take care of themelves.

 

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