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In the Name of God بسم الله

Hearing people backbiting

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  • Advanced Member
23 minutes ago, Venomous_92 said:

Salam Alaikum, Is hearing people backbiting haram? Like everyone of my classmates backbite teachers and random people that I don't know. Sometimes I have a normal conversation with them and they start to backbite.

Am I wronging myself?

Salamun alaykum.

Based on our narrations, the one who listens to others who backbite has a share in the sin or rather is one them:

السَّامِعُ شَرِیکُ الْقَائِل
السَّامِعُ‏ لِلْغِیبَةِ کَالْمُغْتَابِ
السَّامِعُ لِلْغِیبَةِ أَحَدُ الْمُغْتَابَیْنِ
سَامِعُ الْغِیبَةِ أَحَدُ الْمُغْتَابَیْنِ
سَامِعُ الْغِیبَةِ شَرِیکُ الْمُغْتَابِ
مُسْتَمِعُ الْغِیبَةِ کَقَائِلِهَا

So you have to forbid the evil or at least, leave that gathering if you are not able to prevent them from backbiting.

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it has happened to me (as I'm a woman) that when I'm hanging with another woman some (not all women) start to critize other women, and I try to avoid it as much as I can, but sometimes I haven't been able to do it, and I've had to say, I don't want to say that, and it's been so uncomfortable...

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whenever people backbite around me, i try to discourage them, And if that isn't possible in certain scenarios, i leave. i think one should avoid gatherings where gossip and backbiting is a norm

Edited by Z.Zaidi
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I read sistanis fatwa about this and he said It is obligatory to support the person who is being disparaged which I've done 99% of the times when I hear someone backbiting but I can't always do that.

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Backbiting is so widespread that it has turned into a routine practice and an avenue for people to express their anger, misgivings and jealousy.  Those who indulge in backbiting believe that they are hiding their own imperfections and harming others. They are oblivious of the fact that they are only harming themselves. This is because the backbiter is the wrongdoer and his victim is the wronged and on the Day of Resurrection both the wrongdoer and the wronged will stand before Allah Who is the Just Judge and the wronged will appeal to Allah to avenge the wrong done to him, Allah will then give this wronged person from the good deeds of the person who wronged him in accordance with his wrong by backbiting his brother on a Day that no father will give his son any of his good deeds nor a friend to his friend. Islam teaches us that if people are being ridiculed or backbitten in our presence, we should defend their honor. If we neglect this, we shall deprive ourselves of ever needed help and mercy from God - If a man's Muslim brother is slandered in his presence, and he is capable of defending him and does so, God will defend him in this world and in the next.  Backbiting is so bad an act that we are not even allow to sit in a gathering in which someone is speaking ill of someone else.  Even if you are not backbiting someone yourself, listening to someone else who is backbiting someone is considered to be a great sin.

Prophet Muhammad (S) once said to Imam 'Ali (AS): 'O 'Ali! When someone hears the backbiting of his Muslim brother committed in his presence, yet he does not rally to his assistance despite being capable of doing so, God shall humiliate him in the world and in the Hereafter.' [Al-Hurr al-`Amili, Wasa'il al-Shi`ah, vol. 8, hadith no. 16336]

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There are two words for backbiting, one is Gheebat, and the other is Tohmat. When you speak about someone and what you say is TRUE, then this is Gheebat. When you speak about someone and what you say is FALSE, then this is Tohmat. 

http://www.ezsoftech.com/stories/mis56.asp

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Thank you brother and Sisters, Now I understand. I will do my best and Insh'Allah I will avoid backbiters. 

Just to be sure anyone with good tips to avoid hearing backbiting? The biggest factor is in school, It's almost backbiting everywhere.

Edited by Venomous_92
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Keep in mind Backbiting aka GHEEBA can be halal, mustahib, makrouh or haram.

Let's say Male A is about to marry Female B.

Halal:
You know for a fact that Male A was previously married and committed domestic violence against his previous wife. It will become incumbent upon you to warn Female B (or her guardian) about Male A's history lest she suffer the same fate.

Mustahib:
Male A has a great job but frequently shirks his religious duties. You could advise Female B (or her guardian) about this.

Makrouh:
You saw Male A at lunch with Female C. Since you do not know who Female C is, it would not be permissible to let Female B know about this.

Haram:
You don't like Male A for whatever reason. It would be haram to say negative things about him to Female B (or her guardian).

 

These are simple (not perfect) examples of Gheeba. I heard this at a Jumma Sermon a few months ago - I had never thought of it this way.

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1 hour ago, shiaman14 said:

Keep in mind Backbiting aka GHEEBA can be halal, mustahib, makrouh or haram.

Let's say Male A is about to marry Female B.

Halal:
You know for a fact that Male A was previously married and committed domestic violence against his previous wife. It will become incumbent upon you to warn Female B (or her guardian) about Male A's history lest she suffer the same fate.

Mustahib:
Male A has a great job but frequently shirks his religious duties. You could advise Female B (or her guardian) about this.

Makrouh:
You saw Male A at lunch with Female C. Since you do not know who Female C is, it would not be permissible to let Female B know about this.

Haram:
You don't like Male A for whatever reason. It would be haram to say negative things about him to Female B (or her guardian).

 

These are simple (not perfect) examples of Gheeba. I heard this at a Jumma Sermon a few months ago - I had never thought of it this way.

Today I was sitting with my friends and one of my friend asked another friend if he could loan him some money to buy some cigarettes and he did and we said now he will take your money and change school ( we were obviously joking) does that count as gheeba and should I apologize?

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1 hour ago, Venomous_92 said:

Today I was sitting with my friends and one of my friend asked another friend if he could loan him some money to buy some cigarettes and he did and we said now he will take your money and change school ( we were obviously joking) does that count as gheeba and should I apologize?

The person was sitting there with you so it would not be backbiting. Islam allows humor and if this person took it as such, then it should not be an issue.

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There are exceptions to backbiting prohibition.

1. You are being oppressed, abused, or being violated of  your rights, you have right to consult with others. (4:148)

2. For purpose of asking fatwah and explaining the situation

3. Someone asking you information before marrying.

There were more. But these are what I can remember at moment.

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  • 8 months later...
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llo I have an important Question. 

Is it ok if your wife tells you about the flaws of her best (girl)friend because she wants to save their friendship.

And she is asking you for advice and she needs mental support in this matter (because she is frustrated, and it impacts your marriage).

Also: Is it in general to speak about everyting in marriage that is evil and imacting your marriage negatively? But it is not done with hatred or jealousy or other negative feelings, it's not meant to harm. It's meant to solve a problem or releave the wife of the pain and frustration on her heart?

Wasalam

Thank you

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