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In the Name of God بسم الله
Islandsandmirrors

Permissibility of Sunni-Shia marriages.

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7 hours ago, Irfani313 said:

 

Side note- may be its the curse of Allah swt on those who sell out their faith and marry a lover of Aisha or Umer. Allah swt takes away that satisfaction from their hearts of seeing their kids growing into momins. May be!

 

 

:salam:

"May be". Or maybe it's the way He chooses for them to avoid living with arrogant, abusive and ill-mannered but shia spouses.

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14 hours ago, Irfani313 said:

Right observation but wrong analysis sister.

First on Sunnis strong mindedness - What you called 'Sunni strong mindedness', Quran calls it 'seals on their hearts'.

Sunnis are arrogant, let me say this, but arrogant like Iblees is, like Pharaoh were, like Umer was, like Yazeed was, like the army of Umer Ibn Saad was in Karbala, like Haroon was, like Saddam was, like Saudis are. This arrogance stops them from seeing the truth and accepting the guidance. They go on issues round and round and after seeing million proofs, still stick to their dogma. 

Part of the reason of Sunni mule-headedness is their doctrine which takes away any critical thinking from Sunnis. You could notice it in how a Shia is brought up and how a Sunni is brought up, In Shia theology, questioning, debate, counter arguments, proofs, and reasoning is appreciated and promoted. In Sunni theology, questions are suppressed, critical thinking is called kufr, reasoning is ridiculed. Pick a random religious Sunni and his / her first two sentences out of mouth would tell you this.

On Children mostly picking Sunni religion in Shia / Sunni marriages - Main reason is that children are weak minded, their intellect is in transition, avoid situations where they are against the grain, shy away from confrontation where ideas are thought through, basically they are the complete manifestation of lazy side of humanity when it comes to making right choices. Hence you see, you won't find them tired of TV or Games for hours but would come back complaining of headache after 20 minutes of reading. Hence children follow the religion of majority because it is easier. Its the same here in West, where kids of namesake Muslim families live a dual life, Muslim at home and agnostic outside among their friends. Here kids don't pick Sunni or Shia, they just abandon religion in favor of majority.

Side note- may be its the curse of Allah swt on those who sell out their faith and marry a lover of Aisha or Umer. Allah swt takes away that satisfaction from their hearts of seeing their kids growing into momins. May be!

 

 

Curse of Allah for marrying a Sunni?!? Didn't one of the imams (AS) marry a Sunni woman at one point? 

Allah (swt) has guided me to become a practicing Muslim not too long ago alhamdulilah. For only reasons He is aware of, He has brought my Sunni guy and I together.

What if a Sunni is accepting of guidance and only by having a Shia friend or spouse may lead them to the truth?

I'd rather be with Sunni who treats me well than a bad Akhlaq, arrogant Shia. 

Edited by Islandsandmirrors

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14 hours ago, Irfani313 said:

Right observation but wrong analysis sister.

First on Sunnis strong mindedness - What you called 'Sunni strong mindedness', Quran calls it 'seals on their hearts'.

Sunnis are arrogant, let me say this, but arrogant like Iblees is, like Pharaoh were, like Umer was, like Yazeed was, like the army of Umer Ibn Saad was in Karbala, like Haroon was, like Saddam was, like Saudis are. This arrogance stops them from seeing the truth and accepting the guidance. They go on issues round and round and after seeing million proofs, still stick to their dogma. 

Part of the reason of Sunni mule-headedness is their doctrine which takes away any critical thinking from Sunnis. You could notice it in how a Shia is brought up and how a Sunni is brought up, In Shia theology, questioning, debate, counter arguments, proofs, and reasoning is appreciated and promoted. In Sunni theology, questions are suppressed, critical thinking is called kufr, reasoning is ridiculed. Pick a random religious Sunni and his / her first two sentences out of mouth would tell you this.

I'm sorry, but this is complete nonsense. The idea that Shias are all free-thinking people who question everything and have been convinced of the truth of Shiism through rational argument, while Sunnis are all closed minded arrogant idiots who just stay on the religion of their fathers is beyond delusional. The amount of stupid stuff that many Shias believe in without question, including scholars, is incredible. And much of the 'logic' that gets used is infantile. Here is an example of the 'open-mindedness' of Shias that you are so proud of: 

You can really feel a deep culture of questioning things in that thread, and there are many more examples.

The issues are by no means as cut-and-dried as you would like to pretend, and for the majority of Sunnis, the fact that they haven't become Shia is more than likely due to many other factors than their own personal arrogance. Complete ignorance of the issues at all but be one such factor.

I'm not claiming Sunnis are any better, but there is nothing like the difference you are trying to portray.

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On 10/3/2016 at 2:44 PM, Pearl178 said:

At this point, there is no guarantee of anything. Because once reality hits in, and once those children come, his words will will be a mere memory and wont mean anything. 

My eldest brother was in a long term relationship with a Sunni girl. When the time came and he wanted to propose, my parents were concerned about her being a Sunni and so my mum brought the girl to the house and the girl was extremely polite and she assured my mum, gave her a million promises that the kids will be raised Shia and she she said she won't interfere in this at all. She assured my mum that she herself will bring the kids to Majlis. And my mum, being the overly emotional person that she is, believed her and fell in love with her and agreed right away for my brother to marry her and assured my dad as well that the girl is sincere.

Long story short , 5 years later with two kids,,,those kids have never stepped foot into a majlis, dont know what Ashura or who Imam Hussain is and pray with their arms folded without a turbah. Sunnis I find have a very strong personality and somehow ALWAYS get the kids to follow their way. My sister in law is not religious at all, but she wont allow the kids to follow our way despite all her promises and she knew that we had only agreed to her marrying my brother because of her assurances and promises. And to be honest at this point nobody can even say anything to her. We are all scared of her including my mum. 

So please don't fall into this trap because they will say anything, literally,  to keep you and to keep the relationship going . There is NO guarantee of anything.

I pray that whatever is best for you happens.

brother is this girl from the west? and why is the mans family afraid, he should take charge, i mean a man family is at times the dominating one he as being in charge shoul give her an ultimatum, either those kids follow me or i will scold you, and even take the neceesary precautions of what  a muslim should do when angry with his wife, if perhaps you can dm me and explain how she even managed to get them to be like her or not follow shia customs.

Edited by sidnaq

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On 10/2/2016 at 8:12 AM, Islandsandmirrors said:

I've read something from Sistani, that a Shia man/woman may marry a non-Shia man/woman, but if one fears being mislead, it's not allowed.

What does it mean to "fear being mislead?" 

So I'm with my non-Shia guy and we don't have any immediate plans to get married right now but we have talked about it several times. We discuss the differences between Sunnis and Shias and he believes what he believes and I believe what I believe. He quotes Sunni Hadiths to back-up certain issues that we disagree on, and I back up my beliefs with Shia Hadiths. We respect each others differences and don't try to change each other, but would the example above constitute "fear of being mislead"? And if so, can you please explain why? 

Hello. @Islandsandmirrors I just saw this thread. It's from years ago. But I just wanted to know if you went through with it. And if you did, how did it turn out? I don't know how to privately message otherwise I would've asked it privately. I'm not asking just because I'm being inquisitive. Thanks in advance!

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These type of relations or marriages usually don't go smooth. Most of the time either one of the spouse converts to another sect or they seperates eventually. Happy marriage or relation with keeping their own seperate views intact is rare but not impossible.

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On 8/15/2019 at 1:48 PM, Guest Rays said:

Hello. @Islandsandmirrors I just saw this thread. It's from years ago. But I just wanted to know if you went through with it. And if you did, how did it turn out? I don't know how to privately message otherwise I would've asked it privately. I'm not asking just because I'm being inquisitive. Thanks in advance!

Hi, brother or sister. Thanks for reviving the thread.

We got married!! I got married last year and let me tell you: best decision I ever made! The Sunni/Shia differences are completely a non-issue for us. If I had listened to everyone on the forum, I would have made the biggest mistake in letting him go just on the basis of him being a Sunni.

Glad I listened to my gut. We are very happily married, Alhamdulilah. 

So I guess this is proof for all you nay-sayers out there to not reject someone for marriage based on pre-conceived notions and prejudice. 

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