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YeDokhtar

Judgmental, Cultural Muslim Communities

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Salam Alaykum All,

Recently, the realization that my oh-so-progressive Iranian community prioritizes culture over all else has shocked and upset me. I guess I never really noticed it since the culture isn't blatantly "backwards" for lack of a better word. For example, things like early marriage (sunnah) are looked down upon, high dowries are a measure of a girls worth, and everyone is constantly trying to show off their social status! Being obviously racist towards everyone but themselves and Caucasians is another really disappointing thing as well. I feel as if there is nothing I can do to fix this, especially since the elders of the mosque rule with an iron fist (like no joke, it's kinda scary tbh). Also, I remember when I was younger, my mother let me dabble with a bit of hair dying (exotic colours and all), as she's very adamant that such things are only culturally inappropriate, not Islamically. Well, it caused quite a bit of heat within the community (I wear hijab, so amongst the females I mean). I can't understand how such a beautiful religion could have such masses of not so nice followers? Sorry for the rant and tangents, I'm not even sure if I made any sense at. Yeah, idk, I'm sick (physically and figuratively).

Edited by YeDokhtar

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Welcome to ShiaChat!

Many others here share your feelings about community issues, especially the culture/religion and personal dynamics. You are always welcome to discuss these issues in a good Islamic environment here. Feel free to check out the range of topics and discussions here. 

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56 minutes ago, YeDokhtar said:

Salam Alaykum All,

Recently, the realization that my oh-so-progressive Iranian community prioritizes culture over all else has shocked and upset me. I guess I never really noticed it since the culture isn't blatantly "backwards" for lack of a better word. For example, things like early marriage (sunnah) are looked down upon, high dowries are a measure of a girls worth, and everyone is constantly trying to show off their social status! Being obviously racist towards everyone but themselves and Caucasians is another really disappointing thing as well. I feel as if there is nothing I can do to fix this, especially since the elders of the mosque rule with an iron fist (like no joke, it's kinda scary tbh). Also, I remember when I was younger, my mother let me dabble with a bit of hair dying (exotic colours and all), as she's very adamant that such things are only culturally inappropriate, not Islamically. Well, it caused quite a bit of heat within the community (I wear hijab, so amongst the females I mean). I can't understand how such a beautiful religion could have such masses of not so nice followers? Sorry for the rant and tangents, I'm not even sure if I made any sense at. Yeah, idk, I'm sick (physically and figuratively).

Everyone across the globe places their culture into the religion they practice this can be dangerous.

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1 hour ago, YeDokhtar said:

Its the prioritizing culture over religion that I take issue with, but yes, it seems to be inevitable to some degree.

Assalam.

Welcome to the forum.

Where do you live exactly? That your mosque elders has iron fists?

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On 9/21/2016 at 6:23 PM, YeDokhtar said:

Salam Alaykum All,

Recently, the realization that my oh-so-progressive Iranian community prioritizes culture over all else has shocked and upset me. I guess I never really noticed it since the culture isn't blatantly "backwards" for lack of a better word. For example, things like early marriage (sunnah) are looked down upon, high dowries are a measure of a girls worth, and everyone is constantly trying to show off their social status! Being obviously racist towards everyone but themselves and Caucasians is another really disappointing thing as well. I feel as if there is nothing I can do to fix this, especially since the elders of the mosque rule with an iron fist (like no joke, it's kinda scary tbh). Also, I remember when I was younger, my mother let me dabble with a bit of hair dying (exotic colours and all), as she's very adamant that such things are only culturally inappropriate, not Islamically. Well, it caused quite a bit of heat within the community (I wear hijab, so amongst the females I mean). I can't understand how such a beautiful religion could have such masses of not so nice followers? Sorry for the rant and tangents, I'm not even sure if I made any sense at. Yeah, idk, I'm sick (physically and figuratively).

what do u mean by not racist towards caucasians? why

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It's lack of education and understanding that leads to that I think. They have a sense of superiority over everyone and pass judgement on every body else. It's ignorance....... That's what it has been stressed by our ahlulbayt so much not to pass judgement on any one else but to work on your own flaws ....

Edited by Ya_isa (as)

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Is it normal or appropriate for an un married sister to live with her married sister? Not for one or two months, but for years. This is a new trend in my family and I think it's very very strange. They tell me that the married sisters need help with house-work but it looks like they are the ones who end up doing all the work. The un married sisters are there just to have fun, going to restaurants, posting pictures. My community has a problem with honor killings, allowing women to get educated and work, syed non-syed marriage, and they don't have a problem with this? DOUBLE STANDARDS. I have been asking people why is this acceptable? Why am I the only one who thinks this is inappropriate? 

Edited by rkazmi33

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