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In the Name of God بسم الله

losing faith because of mentall illness

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1 hour ago, amberzahra said:
What you are saying is correct .Hopelessness and Despair kills your faith. Being hopeful in yourself and that Allah loves you , that you are worshipping the All Merciful is the key. We aren’t worshipping a God that just throws people in hellfire !
 was questioning myself yesterday.  I had become so angry and upset inside towards my religion.  I felt that I fell completely into the dark side, with the state of my heart.  My heart and mind took a beating, and some of the worst irrationality I have experienced was coming out.  I felt this repulsion and inability to read Quran because I was completely feeling the ayat of kufr and disbelief were condemning me and talking about me.  Oh the perils of despair.  The irrationality of despair!
 
This morning, after having another stressful experience with more verses of kufr.  I went to the roof after fajar , where I felt all around me the peace and comfort of the environment.    I was actually able to just be and feel the moment,  Feeling peace around me.  And feel that this exactly what it means that Allah is the source of Peace.
 
The name of Allah, As-Salam came to me.
 
As-Salam = The Source of Peace.
 
All the relaxing and peaceful environments we experienced growing up.  If you take a step back and notice the tranquility in the enviornment, despite the noise being made in some places of people doing things making a racket.  Like going to the park in the evening, or watching.    These are all manifestations of the peace that is coming from the Source of Peace.
 
As I was soaking in the peaceful scenary , I found myself living in the moment, and having the sense of peace and tranquility of As-Salam descend into my heart.  And I was able to see things with this vision of peace.  It’s like taking a step back, viewing the peace from a birds eye view, attributing the peace to the Source of Peace, and the tranquility descended into my heart, and what a peaceful moment.
 
Now I know what could be going in your head.   Probably the same thing that has gone through my head many a time.  What about the severe stress and agony from reading the Quran?  So much tough time from reading, so much stress you feel like you will be losing your life to the stress and burden.  Then after praying and feeling so much stress, we have to say, “Oh Allah, you are the Source of peace, and from you comes the peace.”   I know, it almost feels like a slap in the face and could have potential to make you even more resentful and upset by the book belonging to As-Salam making you feel utmost stress.  But even in my severe negative emotion, I too have experienced beautiful emotions with Quran, and the design of the Quran is only to make us feel peace
:)

Salam

This aya is for you:

Those who say "Allah is our Lord" and then remain steadfast, upon them descend angels (and say): "Do not fear nor grieve, and receive good tidings of Paradise which you were promised. (41:31)

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Remeber you are not alone in this there are thousands of souls tormented by the evil. We can not conquer evil with our own power but thru prayer to God whenever the evil is stronger then us also pray for others like yourself and just remember as long as you have little will to believe in God he is your protector. God will make you strong but remember others like yourself in your prayers and do not lose hope. I have had similar situation like yourself it lasted for several years. God is almighty. Be patient and God will make you strong where you are weak. Pray and pray for others and focus on the good side of life. You need God and he will make you succed do not think you can make it on your own. Pray something like this "Wise God, you are my protector, you can make us strong, help us with those things which we can not do ourself and help me as I want you to help others. Have mercy on the evil which torment us."

You do not need to read the Quran if it is to hard, just listen to the recitation of the Quran. God sees your intention. :)

Edited by sefket83
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  • 7 years later...
  • Advanced Member

@amberzahra
Salam un aliakum. May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) forgive us all, increase our love for Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) & Ahlebait (عليه السلام) and cause us to die on Emaan be haq e Syeda tun nisa il alameen (عليه السلام).

How has been your journey so far regarding these waswasas? How did you fight off these evil thoughts and got yourself out of anxiety & depression?

Soo many people would be curious to know about it. Its been almost 7 years since this thread was started.

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