Jump to content
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!) ×
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!)
In the Name of God بسم الله
Sign in to follow this  
Ali39

Committed Zina; 20 year old male.

Rate this topic

Recommended Posts

Asalam o alaikum.

 

I have committed a grave sin, I have engaged in premarital sex with two women, of whom I paid for intercourse. I deeply regret what I did, I've not slept nor ate in the past 2 days now. I used protection, however I am still scared of contracting an STD, although the chances are very small.

 

I am engaged to a girl I love, and who loves me. We speak regularly and we're in a happy relationship. I never ever thought I'd do something like this, it just happened suddenly without me thinking of the repercussions. 

 

I have cried and prayed for forgiveness, pleaded to Allah quietly sitting on my bed to forgive me for my sin, I will never do anything like this ever again. My biggest fear is, I am an only child. My parents did a lot for me, they have endured a lot for me, and this is how I repay them. I am truly disgusted by the sight of myself. I can't bear the thought of what I have done. I am really regretful of my actions. Same applies for my fiance who I love dearly, she means the world to me yet I cannot comprehend why I'd so something so disgusting and foolish. 

 

I am truly.. lost, even suicidal. I'm depressed, I can't sleep or eat, I sleep 2-3 hours maybe and then wake up. It's 5 in the morning where I am in the UK. I just need guidance and prayers that I am well. What should I do to repent for my sins? 

 

After this, I have really began to value everything around me. My parents, my fiance, my friends, each moment of laughter and joy, to be engaged in your religion. I feel as if it's made me value everything much more simply because of the fear and shock I've received. Please tell me what I should do, thank you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Convert this experience in a lesson (like you seem to already be doing) and learn from it, let it be a reminder for you to value what's really important.

I wouldn't worry too much about STDs. First of all, they aren't as terrible as they may seem. You can get rid of most pretty easily. In the second hand, professional sex workers tend to be way safer than most girls you can meet in a late-night party. It is their source of living. I am, of course, assuming you went to a safe place instead of a random girl in the street that charges nearly nothing for it. A regular blood analysis will give you the result on STDs anyway, and it's never a bad idea to get an analysis done. Just tell your doctor you would also like to know the results on STDs (you don't need to get into details).

Don't be suicidal man, get the best out of this experience and see it as a lesson in life, not a reason to think of suicide or get depressed.

Edited by Bakir

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
31 minutes ago, Bakir said:

Convert this experience in a lesson (like you seem to already be doing) and learn from it, let it be a reminder for you to value what's really important.

I wouldn't worry too much about STDs. First of all, they aren't as terrible as they may seem. You can get rid of most pretty easily. In the second hand, professional sex workers tend to be way safer than most girls you can meet in a late-night party. It is their source of living. I am, of course, assuming you went to a safe place instead of a random girl in the street that charges nearly nothing for it. A regular blood analysis will give you the result on STDs anyway, and it's never a bad idea to get an analysis done. Just tell your doctor you would also like to know the results on STDs (you don't need to get into details).

Don't be suicidal man, get the best out of this experience and see it as a lesson in life, not a reason to think of suicide or get depressed.

Thank you bro. I am an only child, the only thought going through my head is the pain I would bring to my mum and dad, aswell as my Fiance. 

 

How do I repent from this? I have been crying and pleading to Allah to forgive me. I am a 110% determined to never ever do anything like this again, and also to work towards being a better Muslim. Is there anything else I can do?

 

Also in regards to STDs my major concern was HIV eventhough both girls reassured me they're clean. I am still just a really anxious and stressed person. 

 

Thanks for your reply bro.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It is very unprobable to get HIV if you have used protection. I would prefer not to say this for you not to obssess over the topic, but information on health never do any harm heheh. For HIV the blood test won't do now. You will have to wait three months to get the test to see if you have developed the antibody against the virus (what is called to be seropositive). Yet any doctor will tell you there is no reason to worry if you have used protection. There has to be a significant amount of virus in your body for it to be any risk for you.

As for repentance for a sin, I recommend you to read the link that rep shared. It is made up of several states in which I feel you are now (genuine repentance and the determination not to repeat it).

In order to grow more determination and integrity within your true self, there are some islamic books on sex that may be helpful for you to see the deepness and completeness of it. These are helpful if you still face hardship when dealing with this topic. InshaAllah marriage also makes it easier for you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Assalam dear brother.

One question: do you believe it's you WHO's typing/ or saying such words? Or maybe somethings pushing you to do that? Did you know the first step of forgiveness is that you admit that you did a bad crime while you're depress of that?

I believe Allah swt forgave you already، Conscience and intent can prove that.

Wassalam.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
42 minutes ago, DigitalUmmah said:

I thought fornication was different because its punishment is 60 lashes, while zinah is death?

Isnt zina adultery, or sex with a kaffir? I dunno

Both Zina and fornication mean  the same thing , sex outside of marriage. 

'Adultery' is used if either one or both the people involved in illict sex are married. 

Edited by starlight

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, starlight said:

Both Zina and fornication mean  the same thing , sex outside of marriage. 

'Adultery' is used if either one or both the people involved in illict sex are married. 

every day is a school day! thanks dude

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I myself am not exactly the perfect muslim but I think following this is certainly a start. I know it is really hard to do, since we humans are not logical beings by nature but emotional. We were designed this way in order to be tested. 

Quote

Imam Ali (peace be upon him) once gave a method of how to make the right decision in moments of uncertainty: realize what it is that your heart desires and then do the opposite, because Shaitan tries to mislead us by whispering of temporary pleasures to our hearts. But we have to make sure we thwart his attempts, because we don’t want to get entangled in a sin that leads to a web of greater sins. 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think is worse because you cheat on somebody, I guess that with the time you will start to eat again and sleep again and period, nothing else is going to happen, Allah will forgive you and I asume your girlfriend too, because after all, all women always forgive. x(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I never intend on doing this again, I've made dua several times pleading to Allah swt for forgiveness and I feel as if there's a weight on my heart that isn't moving. I've gotten closer to faith, family, and truly the things that actually matter in life now. I feel like my path is more clearer, however I truly regret what I did and still think as to why did I do this. I've never done anything like this before, I've resisted all urges but I caved in the end, for what? 

 

I'm really distraught over this and just constantly upset.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ali39, What you did was very wrong, but Allah SWT is the Most Merciful, no doubt He Will Forgive you. I would also recommend to read Dua Mashlool (The story behind it, the translation AND the recitation in arabic), it is a very powerful dua for asking for Forgiveness.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Committing zina isn't the only wrong thing you did here. You also cheated on a woman you are committed to and who, as you said, loves you. You broke her trust in you.

 

You never even mentioned anything about telling her. You can repent and feel better about yourself but you also need to do something about the fact that you betrayed her. Don't downplay or ignore that

 

Edited by strangelove

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

http://islamhelpline.net/node/6679

My brother Allah is all-forgiving. It is great to admit your sins and be ashamed. But do not believe that Allah has forgiven me and so I'm free, always stay ashamed and whenever you remember it ask for forgiveness.

Another thing your wife (whoever it is) deserves to know even if there is a matter of std or not

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...