34 not married!

[SibtainM]

This is my second post on shia chat. Last time when I posted here many fellow members helped me out. This time I need help again I'm turning 34 soon and I'm still single. For some reason I get avoided by girls and it makes me feel unwanted all the time. So what can I do to get married soon? I'm getting tired of being single.

[Gaius I. Caesar]

It might be worth a shot, you could asking your parents for help in seeking a spouse. I don't have that option but you might. 

[sidnaq]

sibtain, from pakistan i presume, and you are male? and how come you cannot find a wife?

[sidnaq]

hmmm have you asked any girl out there why they may have not liked you, or their friend, what do your parents say, is it the way you look, do you have any vices that are known? if you had a girlfriend dont tell them, some women who are chaste would get turned off by this fact, so i hope you dont tell them things like this. also what are your standards for women, in pakistani society although i dont know whether youre from that area, some men want doodh jaisi gori larki, meaning white like milk girl, or whats the reason honestly i bet there are girls here who could marry you.

[hasanhh]

I was the same way. 34 and never marred.

Then l was 54 and despised what l did to myself (got marred).

 

 

[SibtainM]

1 hour ago, sidnaq said:

sibtain, from pakistan i presume, and you are male? and how come you cannot find a wife?

Yeas from Pakistan but I live in Canada.

[SibtainM]

1 hour ago, sidnaq said:

hmmm have you asked any girl out there why they may have not liked you, or their friend, what do your parents say, is it the way you look, do you have any vices that are known? if you had a girlfriend dont tell them, some women who are chaste would get turned off by this fact, so i hope you dont tell them things like this. also what are your standards for women, in pakistani society although i dont know whether youre from that area, some men want doodh jaisi gori larki, meaning white like milk girl, or whats the reason honestly i bet there are girls here who could marry you.

It seems like you know me. Bro I fall in the brother zone. Like a real brother zone. That's how girls see me a brother. And no I don't have girlfriends. I been brother for all these years. And I do look horrible. Like nothing there that would attract anyone.

[sidnaq]

are you sure, could you perhaps like post a pic, or something, i dont know i thought shia muslim girls were really struggling to find a decent husband but here i found something really surprising, please dont say that bro, maybe its the area where you live.i have no idea.

[notme]

31 minutes ago, SibtainM said:

It seems like you know me. Bro I fall in the brother zone. Like a real brother zone. That's how girls see me a brother. And no I don't have girlfriends. I been brother for all these years. And I do look horrible. Like nothing there that would attract anyone.

There is more to attractiveness than looks. Cultivate your conversation skills, smile, be pleasant, do good works and deeds, genuinely care about people and issues. 

Also, be a self sufficient adult. Nothing is less attractive than a man-boy. (Not accusing you of being an overgrown child, just adding that because it is common.)

[Soldiers and Saffron]

1 hour ago, SibtainM said:

It seems like you know me. Bro I fall in the brother zone. Like a real brother zone. That's how girls see me a brother. And no I don't have girlfriends. I been brother for all these years. And I do look horrible. Like nothing there that would attract anyone.

Hmm, then would you mind marrying a woman that looks horrible as well?

If you live in Canada, what is stopping you from getting a wife in Pakistan over Shiamatch.com?

[Akbar673]

2 hours ago, SibtainM said:

And I do look horrible. Like nothing there that would attract anyone.

Sounds like you have a confidence problem more than anything else.

4 hours ago, SibtainM said:

For some reason I get avoided by girls and it makes me feel unwanted all the time.

Not everyone is a stud when it comes to looks. In fact, if you take a look the really good looking people are a small minority and the vast majority of the planet fall into the "average to ordinary" category. We can thank Western media for this false imagery.

Go pop an antidepressant and take on the world. Someone for everyone out there.

[DigitalUmmah]

OP: I am in a similar position to you. 33 unmarried male. let me give you some advice from one brother to another. 

everyone is looking for the perfect partner, no one is trying to BE the perfect partner. 

what this means is - raise your game. go to the gym, get a better job, dress better, act better, do interesting things, travel and become someone that girls will chase, instead of you chasing them. 

there is a quote from rumi, which I paraphrase "light your soul on fire and the right partner will be drawn to the flames"

[Soldiers and Saffron]

9 minutes ago, DigitalUmmah said:

OP: I am in a similar position to you. 33 unmarried male. let me give you some advice from one brother to another. 

everyone is looking for the perfect partner, no one is trying to BE the perfect partner. 

what this means is - raise your game. go to the gym, get a better job, dress better, act better, do interesting things, travel and become someone that girls will chase, instead of you chasing them. 

there is a quote from rumi, which I paraphrase "light your soul on fire and the right partner will be drawn to the flames"

Why are you unmarried anyways? You have a big family, your part of a big paki community in England, lots of muslims, you have a lot of family in pakistan, they know people, your family is known, you personally have a big network of friends online and offline, etc, etc.

[DigitalUmmah]

24 minutes ago, IbnSina said:

Why are you unmarried anyways? You have a big family, your part of a big paki community in England, lots of muslims, you have a lot of family in pakistan, they know people, your family is known, you personally have a big network of friends online and offline, etc, etc.

personal reasons man. not by choice. 

[Soldiers and Saffron]

Just now, DigitalUmmah said:

personal reasons man. not by choice. 

Okay, inshaAllah its kheyr and you will find someone suitable soon brother!

[DigitalUmmah]

17 minutes ago, IbnSina said:

Okay, inshaAllah its kheyr and you will find someone suitable soon brother!

maybe the next world will be better for me

[Soldiers and Saffron]

46 minutes ago, DigitalUmmah said:

maybe the next world will be better for me

InshaAllah it will, it will reflect the actions of this one and if you sacrificed something you wanted for the sake of Allah(SWT) then you will iA have plenty of it in the next one.

[DigitalUmmah]

6 minutes ago, IbnSina said:

InshaAllah it will, it will reflect the actions of this one and if you sacrificed something you wanted for the sake of Allah(SWT) then you will iA have plenty of it in the next one.

May Allah bless you and reward you, and grant all your Duas, InshaAllah

[certainclarity]

36 minutes ago, IbnSina said:

then you will iA have PLENTY of it in the next one.

 A wife starved man entering heaven ! I guess the 4 permanent wives "limit" does not apply there ...

Insha Allah we dont mess up, before the hour of death,so we can enter heaven ..,

Otherwise loss in both ends...

Edited July 27, 2016 by certainclarity

[Soldiers and Saffron]

26 minutes ago, certainclarity said:

 A wife starved man entering heaven ! I guess the 4 permanent wives "limit" does not apply there ...

Insha Allah we dont mess up, before the hour of death,so we can enter heaven ..,

Otherwise loss in both ends...

Alhamdulillah for what we have and alhamdulillah for what we do not!

Alhamdulillah for our blessings and alhamdulillah for our problems!

[certainclarity]

27 minutes ago, IbnSina said:

Alhamdulillah for what we have and alhamdulillah for what we do not!

Alhamdulillah for our blessings and alhamdulillah for our problems!

Alhamdulilah, Very well said.

Imam Ali (a):

A hopeless person sees difficulty in every chance and a hopeful person sees a chance in every difficulty '

Edited July 27, 2016 by certainclarity

[ShiaMan14]

Not to play cupid but @SibtainM meet @DigitalUmmah. Its legal in US, Canada and UK.   

#BrokeBackShiaChat ???

just kidding brothers. I wish and pray you and others find the companion you deserve.

[hasanhh]

On ‎7‎/‎27‎/‎2016 at 0:41 PM, certainclarity said:

 A wife starved man entering heaven ! I guess the 4 permanent wives "limit" does not apply there ...

Insha Allah we dont mess up, before the hour of death,so we can enter heaven ..,

Otherwise loss in both ends...

  WARNING

 

"4 permanent wives" Let us parse this correctly.

4 + wives  and you will hear this:   Ear plugs do not help a lot.

And you will have to have them wear nametags so you do not call them by the wrong name on those sleepy mornings we all have.   can result in this -> and     and   

And as for "permanent", my Dad always said it best, "Wives should be like cars so you can trade-them-in every couple of years". Or was it "every few years".   Yes, a very insightful observation.

This is why I am for accelerated advancements in robotics. No complaints. Cheaper to maintain. Encyclopedic Memory for our favorite foods.  7X    Always remembers those important days,   No selfish time clocks and curfews,      Never gets sick, .  Never speaks without being spoken to,    Never second guesses its programing and verbal instructions, so there is none of this    Never makes unauthorized expenditures:   "What the H_____ is this???"   And in accordance with my Father's observation and philosophy, Trade-ln for the newer-improved model: "Goodbye Sir, l hope l served you well."

Now, how do l program my brand new Super-Stepford Wife 2100 ?

[hasanhh]

On ‎7‎/‎27‎/‎2016 at 1:10 PM, IbnSina said:

Alhamdulillah for what we have and alhamdulillah for what we do not!

Alhamdulillah for our blessings and alhamdulillah for our problems!

I was thinking the other day that this is noticeably better than the O.T.'s Job Chapter 1 "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord."

[Haimi]

السلام علیکم

did you ever think that maybe theres something between you and Allah that you still didn't resolved it?

You know what im talking about right? Secrets etc...?

Why we all humans trying to find the answers in this world only? Man its so shame for muslim. Even if your answer is on the earth, still you can get it from the skies.

Yes go to a  relaxed place(preferred mosque) and think what did you miss between you and Allah?

Trust me, practice in god.

Try to read surah yusuf(s,a)

Lemme know whats your education and religion for further zoomed and specific helps.

Edited July 30, 2016 by Haimi

[race]

Ayatollah Wahid Khorasani recommendation:

Question : What do you suggest should be done to solve marriage related issues?

Answer: Two Raka't Namaz be offered like Morning Prayer followed by Tasbeeh of Hazrat-e-Zahra's (A.S). It is better going into prostration and invoking Salawaat upon the prophet 14 times, then the following be said 100 times; (اللهم خِرلِی و اختَرلِی) , then Salawaat be said again 14 times. God willing this Namaz and the supplication after it be repeated in different days till God solves the marriage-related issue.
Similarly, Namaz-e-Istighaasa to Hazrat Fatima be offered and its method as mentioned in Mafaatih is as follows: Two Raka't be offered. After Namaz's Salam, 3 Takbeers be said followed by Tasbeehaat of Hazrat-e-Zahra (A.S) after which (یا مولاتی یا فاطمة اغیثینی) be recited during prostration, then right cheek be placed upon the floor and again (یا مولاتی یا فاطمة اغیثینی) be said 100 times. Next, again the said Dua be recited 100 times while prostrating, After which left cheek be placed upon the floor and the same Dua be said 100 times, then a Sajdah (Prostration) be performed once more and the same be said 110 times, then the wish be made.