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marij

can sunni boy marry to syed girl

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Yes, they can.  There is nothing wrong with a non-Syed marrying a Syed, regardless of whether the non-Syed is Sunni or Shia. The treating of Syeds as a caste is haram and there is no caste system in Islam. The caste is a part of Indo-Pak culture that  comes from Hinduism. If the  Syed girl is Shia, study and read about the Jafari madhab  so you can understand her and her family's beliefs better. 

Edited by Gaius I. Caesar

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33 minutes ago, Gaius I. Caesar said:

Yes, they can.  There is nothing wrong with a non-Syed marrying a Syed, regardless of whether the non-Syed is Sunni or Shia. The treating of Syeds as a caste is haram and there is no caste system in Islam. The caste is a part of Indo-Pak culture that  comes from Hinduism. If the  Syed girl is Shia, study and read about the Jafari madhab  so you can understand her and her family's beliefs better. 

This caste system in India and Pakistan gives me major headaches honestly. 

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And brother, it's not wrong at all to marry a Sayyeda shia. This is all cultural and has nothing to do with Islam. Though I'm pretty sure most parents in Pak-India don't allow their daughters to marry non-Sayyeds. Hopefully the girl's family isn't like the majority though.

Edited by NooralHussain

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1 hour ago, NooralHussain said:

This caste system in India and Pakistan gives me major headaches honestly. 

It should stay in Hinduism with it's many confusing gods and avatars and it's numerous overtly complicated theories of theology. Caste system gives me a migraine. 

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2 hours ago, NooralHussain said:

And brother, it's not wrong at all to marry a Sayyeda shia. This is all cultural and has nothing to do with Islam. Though I'm pretty sure most parents in Pak-India don't allow their daughters to marry non-Sayyeds. Hopefully the girl's family isn't like the majority though.

if there is no fear that she might be misled. So if there is a fear that he might be misled, it is not permissible.There is a dispute among Shia scholars about the marriage of Shia girl to the Sunni brother. Some of them say it is allowed and some of them say it is allowed,

For example, the Grand Ayatollah Sistani says: “Getting married to the People of the Book isn’t permissible as an obligatory precaution. On the other hand, it is okay to get married with Sunnis if there isn’t any fear of going astray and losing Shia beliefs as a result”.

Of course, Marriage between Shias and some “Muslim” sects such as: The Ghulat, The Nasebis and The Khawarij, who falsely claim themselves Muslim, but in reality are Kafirs, isn’t permissible.

 

 

 

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Its wrong for a sunni to marry a shia since marriage should be between equals, and shia are superior in every way to sunni. Forget worrying about sayedzadis OP. Thats a long way off. 

One side hates omar, one side thinks he is guaranteed paradise. How will that work? The only successful sunni/ shia marriages i have seen are when the sunni doesnt know anything about their faith/ isnt practicing. Why would anyone want to marry a jahil person? 

And what about the in laws? And children? At one point when he is older, the sunni man will become "islamic", and from then it will be nothing but headache for the shia

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If you mean Shia by Seyed so according to Shia Maraje like Ayatollah SIstani and Ayatollah Khamenei marriage between Shia girl and Sunni boy is allowed only if there is no chance that this marriage would change girl's sect. so if the girl know that this marriage maybe change her sect she can't marry him but if she is certain that under any husband's pressure or influence, she would keep her beliefs she can marry him. 

Edited by alabegh

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10 hours ago, marij said:

I want to knwn some information about this matter plz advise me ..tell me in detail .

I m waiting for ur response and also give me hawala 

It is just an advice for the girl, what will be happened for her children. Will they became Sunni or Shia. So if her children prefer to be Sunni, her descendent will go to other sect. I think it would not by good for Seyyed girl.  

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10 hours ago, marij said:

I want to knwn some information about this matter plz advise me ..tell me in detail .

I m waiting for ur response and also give me hawala 

is she sunni?

You can marry her unless you will put her life in danger ..

Is she shia?

If her family are practicing they will object because you are sunni

if her family are cultural, they will object because you are non sayyid

If her parents are liberal, they will accept if you conform to their norms so it really differs depending on the girl's and her family perspective 

btw, what is hawala?

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7 hours ago, Mirkhalil said:

if there is no fear that she might be misled. So if there is a fear that he might be misled, it is not permissible.There is a dispute among Shia scholars about the marriage of Shia girl to the Sunni brother. Some of them say it is allowed and some of them say it is allowed,

 

For example, the Grand Ayatollah Sistani says: “Getting married to the People of the Book isn’t permissible as an obligatory precaution. On the other hand, it is okay to get married with Sunnis if there isn’t any fear of going astray and losing Shia beliefs as a result”.

 

Of course, Marriage between Shias and some “Muslim” sects such as: The Ghulat, The Nasebis and The Khawarij, who falsely claim themselves Muslim, but in reality are Kafirs, isn’t permissible.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sorry, I missed out the part where the OP said he's a Sunni. I thought he was a Shia non-Sayyed who wanted to marry a Sayyeda Shia.

and yeah I wouldn't really suggest marrying a Shia if you're Sunni. 

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1 hour ago, Chaotic Muslem said:

is she sunni?

You can marry her unless you will put her life in danger ..

Is she shia?

If her family are practicing they will object because you are sunni

if her family are cultural, they will object because you are non sayyid

If her parents are liberal, they will accept if you conform to their norms so it really differs depending on the girl's and her family perspective 

btw, what is hawala?

Girl IS shia syed nd boy IS suni 

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11 minutes ago, marij said:

Girl IS shia syed nd boy IS suni 

 

2 hours ago, alabegh said:

If you mean Shia by Seyed so according to Shia Maraje like Ayatollah SIstani and Ayatollah Khamenei marriage between Shia girl and Sunni boy is allowed only if there is no chance that this marriage would change girl's sect. so if the girl know that this marriage maybe change her sect she can't marry him but if she is certain that under any husband's pressure or influence, she would keep her beliefs she can marry him. 

 

7 hours ago, Mirkhalil said:

if there is no fear that she might be misled. So if there is a fear that he might be misled, it is not permissible.There is a dispute among Shia scholars about the marriage of Shia girl to the Sunni brother. Some of them say it is allowed and some of them say it is allowed,

 

For example, the Grand Ayatollah Sistani says: “Getting married to the People of the Book isn’t permissible as an obligatory precaution. On the other hand, it is okay to get married with Sunnis if there isn’t any fear of going astray and losing Shia beliefs as a result”.

 

Of course, Marriage between Shias and some “Muslim” sects such as: The Ghulat, The Nasebis and The Khawarij, who falsely claim themselves Muslim, but in reality are Kafirs, isn’t permissible.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The brothers had answered you with the rulings already. The social circumstances are your's to judge. All in all, shia dont favour to give their daughters to non shia. Some do, so we can't say anything explicit here, it is 50/50 chance for we all know, either yes or no.

As i said, as long as no on will go and shot her dead due to this proposal.

 

If you are the girl, think ten times before pushing towards such marriage.

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10 minutes ago, marij said:

Boy is suni and girl is shia syed my dear member 

Ah, I see, well her family might object very harshly to you asking for her hand. In addition, if you do marry her, what will the children follow?  Ahl-us-Sunnah or the Ahlulbayt? 

 My dear bro, I don't know how strongly you feel about your beliefs but you can always marry a Sunni sayyidina. 

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can I just remind everyone that being halal in our fiqh =/= being a good idea. 

its halal for a 14 year old baligh boy to marry a 90 year old widow. does that mean that it should be encouraged? of course not. you have to look at wider issues. 

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6 hours ago, DigitalUmmah said:

Its wrong for a sunni to marry a shia since marriage should be between equals, and shia are superior in every way to sunni. Forget worrying about sayedzadis OP. Thats a long way off. 

One side hates omar, one side thinks he is guaranteed paradise. How will that work? The only successful sunni/ shia marriages i have seen are when the sunni doesnt know anything about their faith/ isnt practicing. Why would anyone want to marry a jahil person? 

And what about the in laws? And children? At one point when he is older, the sunni man will become "islamic", and from then it will be nothing but headache for the shia

I find this post rather arrogant. 

I know of plenty of successful Sunni x Shia marriages where both parties are aware of the others beliefs, for some people, compromise is a necessity. 

Usually the couple decide what the children will be prior to marriage- in most cases, since Shia guys marry Sunni girls, they stipulate that the children will be strictly Shia. 

Sure it isn't ideal, but in some circumstances it may be necessary or even unavoidable (for example if someone is in danger of falling into sin). 

 

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47 minutes ago, Hassan2jz said:

Sure it isn't ideal, but in some circumstances it may be necessary or even unavoidable (for example if someone is in danger of falling into sin).

no, its not ideal at all, especially since so many perfectly suitable shia brothers and sisters are left unmarried while shia are busy chasing after their jaanu omars and aishahs. 

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Compromise and sacrifices will have to be made by the Sunni boy and the Shia girl for the marriage to work.

I would ask the Shia girl what part(s) of her faith is she willing to sacrifice for this person and same question to the Sunni boy of course.

For example, let's say the Sunni boy starts hating shias and forbids her from ever attending a majlis/lecture. Islamically, she has to comply. Would she give up majlis aka Imam Hussain for him?

Similarly, what if the Sunni boy wants the boys to go to Jumah to a nasibi mosque. Will she be okay?

Essentially, what part of the faith is up for sale?

7 hours ago, DigitalUmmah said:

its halal for a 14 year old baligh boy to marry a 90 year old widow. does that mean that it should be encouraged? of course not. you have to look at wider issues. 

What if the widow was a billionaire? I would force him to marry her. hahaha

Edited by shiaman14

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On 7/1/2016 at 1:46 AM, DigitalUmmah said:

no, its not ideal at all, especially since so many perfectly suitable shia brothers and sisters are left unmarried while shia are busy chasing after their jaanu omars and aishahs. 

lol that isn't always the case though. It's never a good idea to base an argument on a fallacious assumption. 

I personally would not do it, but I find it odd to judge someone who does choose to marry a Sunni. 

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Assalamualeikum...

Pls help me... my friend (shia,syed) says i cant marry a syed girl...he says becouse she is the daughter of muhammad s.w. ...i cant marry her.. only syed can marry her

 

He says also that she is equal to a mother for me... pls give me some references... 

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On 6/30/2016 at 11:46 AM, DigitalUmmah said:

no, its not ideal at all, especially since so many perfectly suitable shia brothers and sisters are left unmarried while shia are busy chasing after their jaanu omars and aishahs. 

Perhaps letting people find who they accept without religious basis breaks the cycle of closed mindedness and can be a sign that the Sects can be reconcilable to each other?

Why perpetuate the walls between Sunni's and Shia's with that kind of rhetoric DU?

The day Sunni and Shia men and women can marry each other without fear, is a great day as that day would symbolize progress towards harmony among muslims.  "Superior to Sunni's" is not a "Shia' way of thinking and certainly not one that an Imam of Ahlul Bayt would agree with.   I have far more respect for Shia's, don't taint what good things I think of them with that nonesense DU. I expected better.

Perhaps Shia sisters are looking at Sunni brothers because the kind of arrogance spewing forth from their mouths similar to what you've just done?

Maybe marriage between the sects can encourage one to not be ignorant and be open minded, especially if the children become Shia? Ever think of that?

I'm not even Shia' but I wouldn't care and know plenty of Sunni brothers that wouldn't either.

 

Edited by wmehar2

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1 hour ago, wmehar2 said:

Perhaps letting people find who they accept without religious basis breaks the cycle of closed mindedness and can be a sign that the Sects can be reconcilable to each other?

Why perpetuate the walls between Sunni's and Shia's with that kind of rhetoric DU?

The day Sunni and Shia men and women can marry each other without fear, is a great day as that day would symbolize progress towards harmony among muslims.  "Superior to Sunni's" is not a "Shia' way of thinking and certainly not one that an Imam of Ahlul Bayt would agree with.   I have far more respect for Shia's, don't taint what good things I think of them with that nonesense DU. I expected better.

Perhaps Shia sisters are looking at Sunni brothers because the kind of arrogance spewing forth from their mouths similar to what you've just done?

Maybe marriage between the sects can encourage one to not be ignorant and be open minded, especially if the children become Shia? Ever think of that?

I'm not even Shia' but I wouldn't care and know plenty of Sunni brothers that wouldn't either.

 

I agree but having known and been told what happened to a friend of mine in Pakistan has made me re-evaluate my position on Sunni and Shia marriage.

Before I wouldn't mind but now, I think it's for the best that Sunnis marry Sunnis and Shia marry Shia. Of course you could say "But Caesar, that's not what always happens in Su-shi marriages" and you would be absolutely right, I agree. However, consider this, what if you marriage is successful but the children reject Islam out of confusion about the the parents' differences in fiqh, aqaida and theology.

Even worse, you could subject your children to abuse in some cases in either family because of their acceptance of either Sunni or Shia beliefs. I am probably the last person in the world who should be telling you this because I am not married nor a parent but there's so much more to it than we'll agree to disagree and let the children choose between the Sunni madhabs or the Jafari madhab.

There is wisdom in what Ali (as) said: "It is easier to turn a mountain into dust than create love in a heart that is filled with hatred." Nothing creates hatred quite like the Sunni-Shia divide and when there's hatred on both sides,children suffer in the worse way possible. Children need love to thrive. Want to show then Islam?, then showing in a divisive manner won't work and will turn them away. Imagine the mountain as the apex of your achievements and that mountain is the child you had with your wife. Now that it is the responsibility of both parents to teach and keep them on Siratul Mustaqeem.

How will Allah respond to such people? Those who destroyed the mountain into dust because they were too busy with the heart and trying to grow "love" in the barren wasteland, the black salted earth that is Hatred?

It is easier, more logical and better to marry someone who shares most of your values and view in my humble opinion. Not to mention you will be happier and healthier, plus the children won't be as confused. Of course, you know this already and I am probably just rambling on.

I hope that I didn't offend you or sound condescending in this post. It was never my intention,I just wanted to share my thoughts with you. What do you think of this? Am I being too naive or does it make sense to you, Waseem?

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8 hours ago, Gaius I. Caesar said:

I agree but having known and been told what happened to a friend of mine in Pakistan has made me re-evaluate my position on Sunni and Shia marriage.

Before I wouldn't mind but now, I think it's for the best that Sunnis marry Sunnis and Shia marry Shia. Of course you could say "But Caesar, that's not what always happens in Su-shi marriages" and you would be absolutely right, I agree. However, consider this, what if you marriage is successful but the children reject Islam out of confusion about the the parents' differences in fiqh, aqaida and theology.

Even worse, you could subject your children to abuse in some cases in either family because of their acceptance of either Sunni or Shia beliefs. I am probably the last person in the world who should be telling you this because I am not married nor a parent but there's so much more to it than we'll agree to disagree and let the children choose between the Sunni madhabs or the Jafari madhab.

There is wisdom in what Ali (as) said: "It is easier to turn a mountain into dust than create love in a heart that is filled with hatred." Nothing creates hatred quite like the Sunni-Shia divide and when there's hatred on both sides,children suffer in the worse way possible. Children need love to thrive. Want to show then Islam?, then showing in a divisive manner won't work and will turn them away. Imagine the mountain as the apex of your achievements and that mountain is the child you had with your wife. Now that it is the responsibility of both parents to teach and keep them on Siratul Mustaqeem.

How will Allah respond to such people? Those who destroyed the mountain into dust because they were too busy with the heart and trying to grow "love" in the barren wasteland, the black salted earth that is Hatred?

It is easier, more logical and better to marry someone who shares most of your values and view in my humble opinion. Not to mention you will be happier and healthier, plus the children won't be as confused. Of course, you know this already and I am probably just rambling on.

I hope that I didn't offend you or sound condescending in this post. It was never my intention,I just wanted to share my thoughts with you. What do you think of this? Am I being too naive or does it make sense to you, Waseem?

Well, it does make sense.

Though, Im saying I wouldn't discourage nor encourage it:

"Perhaps letting people find who they accept without religious basis breaks the cycle of closed mindedness and can be a sign that the Sects can be reconcilable to each other?"

Better to leave people to make up their minds.  Than to use sectarian reasons to discourage and come to their own conclusions.  Each and every couple Is unique with their own circumstances and reasons beyond sectarianism can be the reason for an unsuccessful marriage as you've acknowledged.

If a single marriage has thrived despite sectarian differences, I don't think it's right to discourage them, especially by trying to highlight differences between the sects .  

Yes, we can't ignore logistics such as important conversations between spouses such as influencing one to abandon their rituals and beliefs and how the children are raised.  

I'm the more naive one, because I believe marrying and in general exposing oneself to others with differing beliefs actually encourages not just tolerance but dispelling ignorance.  

Human beings encouraging themselves to marry like minded people In my  opinion perpetuates in a way ignorance, lack of building character without adversity.

-White only school versus a city school mixed with other ethnicities for example

My ideal world is where a Sunny can marry a Shia without repercussion and be tolerant of the others rituals and practices while giving an objective chance for the children a choice in how they choose their path.  that's me being naive.

Edited by wmehar2

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^ I see, not trying to say it hasn't been done, it has but upsets me when there is some of kind of abuse involving kids and the family members. It seems like people forget you're not marrying a person but a family, even the relatives you see in a blue moon. My grandmother was right.

2 hours ago, wmehar2 said:

Human beings encouraging themselves to marry like minded people In my  opinion perpetuates in a way ignorance, lack of building character without adversity.

Not necessarily, you have a point and a very good one, but the diversity can come from friends and people outside the marriage. It's once again,the parents' responsibility that the children are exposed to different opinions and views. Shame on them if they don't, they robbed their children out of character development like you said. The diversity and difference doesn't have to come from the marriage of the parents.

2 hours ago, wmehar2 said:

My ideal world is where a Sunny can marry a Shia without repercussion and be tolerant of the others rituals and practices while giving an objective chance for the children a choice in how they choose their path.

That is mine too, but I am also trying to be more realistic. It makes no sense to me why someone who really and sincerely values the teachings of Ahlus Sunnah wa Jummah would consider compromising their beliefs and marrying someone who is Ahlus-Tashayyu and vice versa, but I cannot judge like that. 

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22 minutes ago, Gaius I. Caesar said:

^ I see, not trying to say it hasn't been done, it has but upsets me when there is some of kind of abuse involving kids and the family members. It seems like people forget you're not marrying a person but a family, even the relatives you see in a blue moon. My grandmother was right.

Not necessarily, you have a point and a very good one, but the diversity can come from friends and people outside the marriage. It's once again,the parents' responsibility that the children are exposed to different opinions and views. Shame on them if they don't, they robbed their children out of character development like you said. The diversity and difference doesn't have to come from the marriage of the parents.

That is mine too, but I am also trying to be more realistic. It makes no sense to me why someone who really and sincerely values the teachings of Ahlus Sunnah wa Jummah would consider compromising their beliefs and marrying someone who is Ahlus-Tashayyu and vice versa, but I cannot judge like that. 

Where does the teachings of Ahlus Sunnah wa Jummah say they'd compromise their beliefs in marrying someone who is a Shia'?   And I mean, not some quack Wahabi scholar, but a legitimate well respected guy (idk, Hamza Yusuf, etc.)

In Hanifa/Maliki/Hanbali and other madhabs, does it say marrying the other compromises beliefs?   Unless you're implying the Husband/Wife would suggest or impose unto the other to stop going to shia' Mosques, or vice versa/praying a certain way or impeding their visits for ziyarat etc.?

... I mean any decent minded couple would talk about things that are important to them than rush off into a marriage, and if they don't, then that's a different problem outside of sectarian differences.. right?

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27 minutes ago, wmehar2 said:

Unless you're implying the Husband/Wife would suggest or impose unto the other to stop going to shia' Mosques, or vice versa/praying a certain way or impeding their visits for ziyarat etc.?

This is what I meant ^  I may be Shia but if you are Sunni and truly believe that you are on the right path,why would you marry and compromise your beliefs? This doesn't sit well with me at all. I am not saying that I am against Sunni-Shia marriage, sometimes it is necessary but compromising your beliefs means that you don't sincerely believe in your beliefs. (Not always but most of the time)

Sorry if I wasn't if as clear before.

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12 minutes ago, Gaius I. Caesar said:

This is what I meant ^  I may be Shia but if you are Sunni and truly believe that you are on the right path,why would you marry and compromise your beliefs? This doesn't sit well with me at all. I am not saying that I am against Sunni-Shia marriage, sometimes it is necessary but compromising your beliefs means that you don't sincerely believe in your beliefs. (Not always but most of the time)

Sorry if I wasn't if as clear before.

Depends on what they believe in, what's compromising and what it not.  I'd hope they'd have the maturity to have that discussion and know what's the minimum acceptable requirement.

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