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In the Name of God بسم الله
Qinawi

Are the any Arab Incel here on this forum?

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 Jowaiber and Zalfa (Millenial Edition)

'How nice would it be if I could marry someone who would be my companion in this life and hereafter and a garment and a source of sakeena for me in this harsh dunya,' thought Ammar. 

'But who would marry me? I have just graduated, working at an entry level job, have student loans to pay off,my parents are reverts from Africa, my family isn't rich and I am dark skinned and not considered handsome by the usual social standards.' 

At that moment Sarah's face flashed through his mind.She came with her family came to the same Islamic centre he went to. Always looking modest and pretty in her hijab,Sarah was the only daughter of rich Arab parents who had come in search of a better life to that country and eventually managed in setting up a very successful business. Now in her last year at college it was no secret that Sarah had many admirers. Sarah's parents seemed very religious people who were actively involved in the running of Islamic centre,organising majalis and often made big financial contributions towards the running of the I'dara. 

That night after Salat ul layl, Ammar thought, 'guess what, I will ask for Sarah's hand. After all we are Muslims, followers of Prophet(saw) and Islam. Didn't the Prophet(saw) say :God has changed the individual's worth through Islam.  Islam abolished the un- Islamic discrimination and pride of lineage. Now all people irrespective of their color and origin are equal. Nobody has superiority over others but through piety and obedience to Allah. Among the Muslims, only that person would be higher than you whose virtues and deeds are better than you.'

So next Friday night in the centre, Ammar after reciting Dua e Kumayl as he had been doing for the past several years, mustered the courage to go up to Sarah's father as he stood there making arrangements to invite a well known lecturer to speak at the birth anniversary of 11th Imam(as) 

'I have come to ask for your daughters hand in marriage', said Ammar, after paying his respects and introducing himself to Sarah' father.

'You!? How dare you ask for my daughter's hand? Do you not know we do not marry into people who are not our equals in social status? And you are not even an Arab!! How could you even think I would marry my daughter to someone from a different race?? My daughter is used to a certain life style, she has lived like a princess all her life and I will marry her off to someone who can afford to keep her like a queen' 

'I assure I will treat your daughter like a queen, I have a good degree and I am willing to wok hard. InshAllah very soon I will be able to afford a house where your daughter can live comfortably and I hope together we can turn it into a home where we can put teachings and remembrance of Ahlulbayt(as) into practice. As for the me not being Arab, surely you must know Imam Hasan Askari(as) the masoom (as) whose majlis you are arranging was born to a woman 'Hudaifah' of African descent and she was known to be one of the most pious women of her age.'

This outraged Sarah's father still further. Sarah,who had been witnessing this exchange from a distance decided to come and inquire about what was going on. Now Ammar thought back to the story of original Jowaiber and Zalfa and thought 'she will put some sense into her old man's head.' 

As Sarah's father recounted her events of the past few minutes her face turned a deep shade of crimson,one that almost matched the colour of her deep red silken designer hijab and was just a tad shade lighter than her Hermes Birkin 25cm Bag in 'Red'. 

'Oh,look! She is blushing,' Ammar's heart filled with happiness and his chest expanded to the size that blocked both Sarah and his father's view of the mosque hall. 

Eventually Sarah turned to Ammar and said,' okay, there. Don't try to pressurise us with the Islamic stuff. You are not allowed to judge people in this country!you know that? It's called being civilised. As far as your proposal I have suitors asking for my hand ever since I started college, very rich and handsome young men from our own social circle,people like us!! But I turned all of them down because no one was good enough for me and now you come thinking I WILL MARRY YOU??!!' 

With that she turned around on her black heels and stormed off ,and Ammar noticed that the soles of her shoes were red, 'hmm weird colour for shoe soles' Of course he didn't know they were Louboutin Pigalle Follies 85 patent leather pumps(totally uncomfortable,over priced ripoffs in my opinion)

Ammar turned to put on his slip on espadrilles(very comfortable and stylish shoes by the way,must have summer shoes for men,sorry I cannot not comment on shoes) as he got ready to leave the mosque and muttered to himself, I should go and post in the SC Incel thread, after all I am one.'

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^....It's 10 years later and Sarah is now 35. She still hasn't found a guy who meets her 'standards'. So she puts on her Pigalle Follies 85 patent leather pumps(which are by now out of fashion) and gives it one more go. She slides into her Shocking Red Range Rover Sport, firmly fastens her seat belt, cranks up the soundtrack from her freind Amal's wedding which happened last week, and drives down to Orlando. She steps inside the hotel lobby and askes, 'Where is the registration table for Heavenly Match?'. She is directed past the samosa table to a small table hidden in a dimly lit corner of the lobby. 

She grabs the sister at the table by the corner of her sleeve, 'Look here Amina, I just want to get married, I don't think I am asking too much. All I want is a guy who is a doctor, dresses in the latest fashion, is 5 feet 11 inches or taller, light coffee complexion, likes to rollerblade on the beach at sunset, lives in a white, 6 bedroom , 3 bath, tutor style house in zip code 48121, is from 'INSERT PARENTS VILLAGE NAME HERE', looks like a cross between a younger George Clooney and 'INSERT NAME OF PAKISTANI SINGER HERE", likes to go shoe shopping with me, has a phD in Physics (that's for my parents), and I guess does namaz and fasts during Ramadan. I don't think that's asking too much, do you'. Amina just stares blankly into the large green lampshade across the aisle. 

After 3 person to person meetings, Sarah decides to leave Orlando empty handed. She thinks to herself 'I think when I get back I might want to go cat shopping, Oh, and can females also be incels?' 

Edited by Abu Hadi

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4 hours ago, Chaotic Muslem said:

If we took the main behavior of the incel definition without associating it with any online or offline community, a certain race or certain nationality, we will be discussing a real issue that is often recurring theme in many "i want to marry" topics in SC.

"Incel" originated from the internet, so you cannot separate it from the community the term came from. Also all the context and connotations with it, which are overwhelmingly negative. 

The issues facing many young people are important, but to associate it with this term is dangerous, unnecessary, and unproductive. It obscures the gap between the relatively functioning people temporarily bummed out they don't have anyone at the moment (but eventually will) vs those with serious mental issues, pathologic social problems, and extreme hatred, who codified this into an identity group. 

I can assure you 99.9% of struggling people on SC do not share anything with this "incel" movement. They respect the other gender, are peaceful individuals, do not harbor hatred, and have lots of social potential, that only needs to grow.

We need fewer identity groups overall, not more. Especially ones like this. It's a drag into a swamp of ugliness. 

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5 hours ago, Reza said:

"Incel" originated from the internet, so you cannot separate it from the community the term came from. Also all the context and connotations with it, which are overwhelmingly negative. 

The issues facing many young people are important, but to associate it with this term is dangerous, unnecessary, and unproductive. It obscures the gap between the relatively functioning people temporarily bummed out they don't have anyone at the moment (but eventually will) vs those with serious mental issues, pathologic social problems, and extreme hatred, who codified this into an identity group. 

I can assure you 99.9% of struggling people on SC do not share anything with this "incel" movement. They respect the other gender, are peaceful individuals, do not harbor hatred, and have lots of social potential, that only needs to grow.

We need fewer identity groups overall, not more. Especially ones like this. It's a drag into a swamp of ugliness. 

Perfect post brother. Full of wisdom. Some people are just too blind or stupid to see common sense. 

All these groups popping up left and right are pure garbage, and only possible today because of the Internet/social media, and just too much time on people's hands spent on the Internet. 

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On 6/24/2016 at 6:46 AM, Qinawi said:

Incel is short for Involuntary celibacy, a condition where due to a variety of reasons

Salam,

The only "incels" you will find here are those waiting/seeking marriage, in this case Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى has ordered us to wait and be patient.

Also, I dont really understand how someone can be in a involuntary celibacy (unless religiously motivated) as if its only a matter of celibacy then theres always women who will be with you for money.

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5 hours ago, starlight said:

 Jowaiber and Zalfa (Millenial Edition)

'How nice would it be if I could marry someone who would be my companion in this life and hereafter and a garment and a source of sakeena for me in this harsh dunya,' thought Ammar. 

'But who would marry me? I have just graduated, working at an entry level job, have student loans to pay off,my parents are reverts from Africa, my family isn't rich and I am dark skinned and not considered handsome by the usual social standards.' 

At that moment Sarah's face flashed through his mind.She came with her family came to the same Islamic centre he went to. Always looking modest and pretty in her hijab,Sarah was the only daughter of rich Arab parents who had come in search of a better life to that country and eventually managed in setting up a very successful business. Now in her last year at college it was no secret that Sarah had many admirers. Sarah's parents seemed very religious people who were actively involved in the running of Islamic centre,organising majalis and often made big financial contributions towards the running of the I'dara. 

That night after Salat ul layl, Ammar thought, 'guess what, I will ask for Sarah's hand. After all we are Muslims, followers of Prophet(saw) and Islam. Didn't the Prophet(saw) say :God has changed the individual's worth through Islam.  Islam abolished the un- Islamic discrimination and pride of lineage. Now all people irrespective of their color and origin are equal. Nobody has superiority over others but through piety and obedience to Allah. Among the Muslims, only that person would be higher than you whose virtues and deeds are better than you.'

So next Friday night in the centre, Ammar after reciting Dua e Kumayl as he had been doing for the past several years, mustered the courage to go up to Sarah's father as he stood there making arrangements to invite a well known lecturer to speak at the birth anniversary of 11th Imam(as) 

'I have come to ask for your daughters hand in marriage', said Ammar, after paying his respects and introducing himself to Sarah' father.

'You!? How dare you ask for my daughter's hand? Do you not know we do not marry into people who are not our equals in social status? And you are not even an Arab!! How could you even think I would marry my daughter to someone from a different race?? My daughter is used to a certain life style, she has lived like a princess all her life and I will marry her off to someone who can afford to keep her like a queen' 

'I assure I will treat your daughter like a queen, I have a good degree and I am willing to wok hard. InshAllah very soon I will be able to afford a house where your daughter can live comfortably and I hope together we can turn it into a home where we can put teachings and remembrance of Ahlulbayt(as) into practice. As for the me not being Arab, surely you must know Imam Hasan Askari(as) the masoom (as) whose majlis you are arranging was born to a woman 'Hudaifah' of African descent and she was known to be one of the most pious women of her age.'

This outraged Sarah's father still further. Sarah,who had been witnessing this exchange from a distance decided to come and inquire about what was going on. Now Ammar thought back to the story of original Jowaiber and Zalfa and thought 'she will put some sense into her old man's head.' 

As Sarah's father recounted her events of the past few minutes her face turned a deep shade of crimson,one that almost matched the colour of her deep red silken designer hijab and was just a tad shade lighter than her Hermes Birkin 25cm Bag in 'Red'. 

'Oh,look! She is blushing,' Ammar's heart filled with happiness and his chest expanded to the size that blocked both Sarah and his father's view of the mosque hall. 

Eventually Sarah turned to Ammar and said,' okay, there. Don't try to pressurise us with the Islamic stuff. You are not allowed to judge people in this country!you know that? It's called being civilised. As far as your proposal I have suitors asking for my hand ever since I started college, very rich and handsome young men from our own social circle,people like us!! But I turned all of them down because no one was good enough for me and now you come thinking I WILL MARRY YOU??!!' 

With that she turned around on her black heels and stormed off ,and Ammar noticed that the soles of her shoes were red, 'hmm weird colour for shoe soles' Of course he didn't know they were Louboutin Pigalle Follies 85 patent leather pumps(totally uncomfortable,over priced ripoffs in my opinion)

Ammar turned to put on his slip on espadrilles(very comfortable and stylish shoes by the way,must have summer shoes for men,sorry I cannot not comment on shoes) as he got ready to leave the mosque and muttered to himself, I should go and post in the SC Incel thread, after all I am one.'

 

4 hours ago, Abu Hadi said:

^....It's 10 years later and Sarah is now 35. She still hasn't found a guy who meets her 'standards'. So she puts on her Pigalle Follies 85 patent leather pumps(which are by now out of fashion) and gives it one more go. She slides into her Shocking Red Range Rover Sport, firmly fastens her seat belt, cranks up the soundtrack from her freind Amal's wedding which happened last week, and drives down to Orlando. She steps inside the hotel lobby and askes, 'Where is the registration table for Heavenly Match?'. She is directed past the samosa table to a small table hidden in a dimly lit corner of the lobby. 

She grabs the sister at the table by the corner of her sleeve, 'Look here Amina, I just want to get married, I don't think I am asking too much. All I want is a guy who is a doctor, dresses in the latest fashion, is 5 feet 11 inches or taller, light coffee complexion, likes to rollerblade on the beach at sunset, lives in a white, 6 bedroom , 3 bath, tutor style house in zip code 48121, is from 'INSERT PARENTS VILLAGE NAME HERE', looks like a cross between a younger George Clooney and 'INSERT NAME OF PAKISTANI SINGER HERE", likes to go shoe shopping with me, has a phD in Physics (that's for my parents), and I guess does namaz and fasts during Ramadan. I don't think that's asking too much, do you'. Amina just stares blankly into the large green lampshade across the aisle. 

After 3 person to person meetings, Sarah decides to leave Orlando empty handed. She thinks to herself 'I think when I get back I might want to go cat shopping, Oh, and can females also be incels?' 

Beautiful !!!! Brother @Abu Hadi and sister @starlight.........just BEAUTIFUL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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6 hours ago, Reza said:

"Incel" originated from the internet, so you cannot separate it from the community the term came from. Also all the context and connotations with it, which are overwhelmingly negative. 

The issues facing many young people are important, but to associate it with this term is dangerous, unnecessary, and unproductive. It obscures the gap between the relatively functioning people temporarily bummed out they don't have anyone at the moment (but eventually will) vs those with serious mental issues, pathologic social problems, and extreme hatred, who codified this into an identity group. 

I can assure you 99.9% of struggling people on SC do not share anything with this "incel" movement. They respect the other gender, are peaceful individuals, do not harbor hatred, and have lots of social potential, that only needs to grow.

We need fewer identity groups overall, not more. Especially ones like this. It's a drag into a swamp of ugliness. 

I also do not like the cults culture: Emo, Nerds. Geeks, etc etc. But .. yes but... these cults gain momentum from a growing social problem. Look at Emo culture, it started some decades ago but wher eare we now? Suicide is leading cause of death in US. Depression and mental health is worst that ever in human history globally. We can be all proud and feed our ego but i prefer to be honest rather than blind.

Yep women can be incels too if peeps around just wanted to throw some hidden insults, if that makes them feel better, yep they can be incels in the modern definition of the involuntary celibacy.  And yes it comes at costs on mental and social health of many. 

You can mock and ignore all you like, or you can review 30 topics of "i want/i dont want to get married" on SC alone and test the mental health of the internet population yourself.

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56 minutes ago, Chaotic Muslem said:

You can mock and ignore all you like, or you can review 30 topics of "i want/i dont want to get married" on SC alone and test the mental health of the internet population yourself.

Mock and ignore what?

The members on SC who complain about marriage may suffer from anxiety and depression, but it's nowhere near the extreme mental issues faced by "incels", which is why the term shouldn't be used. The extreme hatred of themselves and others, along with violent tendencies, puts them in an entirely different category than the typical frustrated youth. 

You should see "incels" for what they are, a fringe movement with no connection to anyone else or any wider context, and should be treated as such. Broadening the term to include all lonely single people, as a way of addressing legitimate youth problems, is absolutely a wrong approach. 

Cults may reflect or leach off social problems of the day, but by definition, cults are small, close-knit, and detached vis a vis the outside world. Meaning they are not suitable or qualified to speak for broader society. They only represent themselves, and must fight for mainstream acceptance on their own merits. It's not simply handed to them.  

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1 hour ago, Reza said:

Mock and ignore what?

The members on SC who complain about marriage may suffer from anxiety and depression, but it's nowhere near the extreme mental issues faced by "incels", which is why the term shouldn't be used. The extreme hatred of themselves and others, along with violent tendencies, puts them in an entirely different category than the typical frustrated youth. 

You should see "incels" for what they are, a fringe movement with no connection to anyone else or any wider context, and should be treated as such. Broadening the term to include all lonely single people, as a way of addressing legitimate youth problems, is absolutely a wrong approach. 

Cults may reflect or leach off social problems of the day, but by definition, cults are small, close-knit, and detached vis a vis the outside world. Meaning they are not suitable or qualified to speak for broader society. They only represent themselves, and must fight for mainstream acceptance on their own merits. It's not simply handed to them.  

obviiously i was not talking about the incel cult

obviousy i am not endorsing the cult

obviously i am not hinting at the cult at any point 

obviously this deaf people talk is not going to be fruitful 

salam.

close my account too please.

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18 minutes ago, Chaotic Muslem said:

obviiously i was not talking about the incel cult

obviousy i am not endorsing the cult

obviously i am not hinting at the cult at any point 

obviously this deaf people talk is not going to be fruitful 

I'm not sure what you're saying. I believe there's some misunderstandings here. 

20 minutes ago, Chaotic Muslem said:

close my account too please.

These requests should be made in private, and not be rash. 

Discussions can be intense sometimes. Sometimes it's best to take a break and cool down, and process things at a later time. 

Peace to you, and with all respect to your contributions here. 

How about I close the topic instead?

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5 hours ago, Chaotic Muslem said:

I also do not like the cults culture: Emo, Nerds. Geeks, etc etc. But .. yes but... these cults gain momentum from a growing social problem. Look at Emo culture, it started some decades ago but wher eare we now? Suicide is leading cause of death in US. Depression and mental health is worst that ever in human history globally. We can be all proud and feed our ego but i prefer to be honest rather than blind.

Yep women can be incels too if peeps around just wanted to throw some hidden insults, if that makes them feel better, yep they can be incels in the modern definition of the involuntary celibacy.  And yes it comes at costs on mental and social health of many. 

You can mock and ignore all you like, or you can review 30 topics of "i want/i dont want to get married" on SC alone and test the mental health of the internet population yourself.

If you read carefully, you will see that most of these issues are, as the Quran says, because of what their hands have sent forth. Their hands or their mouths or their childish fantasies that keep them in the 'not satisfied with others or themselves on general ' category. This is what myself and starlight were trying to say in a,way that was out attempt at humour. 

I wish brothers and sisters would read and re read Surat Al Baqara, the part where Allah (swa) tells Musa (as) to tell the people to sacrifice a cow, any cow. But because the people kept questioning Musa and asking him additional questions, Allah (swa) kept making the,conditions more and more until they had to sacrifice a very expensive and rare cow.

Allah (swa) tells is to get married and makes it very easy to get married. But because people keep adding condition after condition,  it becomes harder and harder until it is impossible. Then they end up like Sarah, unfortunately.  Then they start buying cats and,when u find yourself living with lots of cats, you might consider that u made a mistake somewhere 

If ur Arab and u marry a Chinese you will have problems and good times, happiness and,sadness. You will fight and make up. You will go thru sadness and happiness

If ur an Arab and u marry another Arab from your same village, do u really think you will not have problems, go thru sad times and trials and be tested. You will be because that is the nature of this world. There is no escaping it. So in reality, who u marry doesn't matter as much as how u act with that person once u are married. 

Edited by Abu Hadi

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6 hours ago, Chaotic Muslem said:

I also do not like the cults culture: Emo, Nerds. Geeks, etc etc. But .. yes but... these cults gain momentum from a growing social problem. Look at Emo culture, it started some decades ago but wher eare we now? Suicide is leading cause of death in US. Depression and mental health is worst that ever in human history globally. We can be all proud and feed our ego but i prefer to be honest rather than blind.

Yep women can be incels too if peeps around just wanted to throw some hidden insults, if that makes them feel better, yep they can be incels in the modern definition of the involuntary celibacy.  And yes it comes at costs on mental and social health of many. 

You can mock and ignore all you like, or you can review 30 topics of "i want/i dont want to get married" on SC alone and test the mental health of the internet population yourself.

With all due respect, I really don't think you are getting it, in any sense or form. 

What I am saying, and others are saying, is these groups and these people, just need to open their hearts and eyes, and turn to Allah. Quran has all solutions and is the best. Emos and other groups, you get them because they turn AWAY from Quran and remembrance of Allah. Remember Allah states very clearly that "hearts will only find peace with the rememberance of Allah" and others will lead a miserable/depressed life. Just as bro Abu Hadi said, a lot of these people and groups are what their hands puth forth. And even if it is not what their hands put forth, who told them to start and group and walk down the path of misguidance and darkness? Can't they just chill, and be a Muslim? Remember Allah? Pray? Do normal things in life? 

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