Are the any Arab Incel here on this forum?

[Qinawi]

Greetings, 

I was curious to see if there are any self identified Incels on this forum. Incel is short for Involuntary celibacy, a condition where due to a variety of reasons ( primarily looks), a man will never be able to attract a women in his life. I am of Arab descent myself and because of my Incel status I have been interested in meeting other Incels. Now this is not difficult at all as there are many forums on the internet dedicated to the subject, but I have almost never seen an Arab admit to being Incel.

So my primary reason here to try and befriend any self identified Incels. Don't be shy, you are anonymous on here!!  

[Chaotic Muslem]

98% of males on this forum are incels

[starlight]

First time I am hearing of this term.

[ChattingwithShias]

No Shiachat is filled with buff tall alpha males who break women's hearts. Go to the Wahabi forum brah, they scare women.

[notme]

2 hours ago, Chaotic Muslem said:

98% of males on this forum are incels

Might be true, but how many would admit to it? 

1 hour ago, starlight said:

First time I am hearing of this term.

Me too. What is this - like "I give up"? Or is there some time limit? Plenty of "unmarriageable" people get married, so it must be more a matter of not wanting to be bothered with trying.

I'd be wary of a man who says "I'm not looking for a wife ever and I'd like to meet other men who also never plan to look for a wife." Sounds a bit too much like there could be other, not halal motives in play. No offense to the OP, who I don't know anything about. Just advising other guys to be cautious. 

[notme]

And there is no complete anonymity anywhere. To think otherwise is delusional.

[wolverine]

Incel is not in the Merriam-Webster Dictionary yet, but everyone knows what it is now. Isn't it ironic that a woman first used the word Incel? A woman named Alana accidentally started the Incel Movement. 

[Sumerian]

What is it?

[wolverine]

On 6/14/2018 at 9:59 PM, Sumerian said:

What is it?

Incel is a frustrated person who is involuntary celibate. Read this topic:

https://www.shiachat.com/forum/topic/235057065-toronto-van-attack/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Incel

[hasanhh]

Not here. Not an "incel".

Of course at my age l can remember what you are referring to.

[hasanhh]

On ‎6‎/‎14‎/‎2018 at 6:53 PM, wolverine said:

Incel is not in the Merriam-Webster Dictionary yet, but everyone knows what it is now. Isn't it ironic that a woman first used the word Incel? A woman named Alana accidentally started the Incel Movement. 

l thought AlDS, Syphilis, Herpes . . . started it.

[YAli]

I would advise brothers to be cautious of the OP... Seems like some dodgy agenda. 

Seriously I have never known about any Muslim man walking around and saying this. And wasn't that Canadian terrorist something to do with this type of movement? 

And to the OP - Bro. Go to the mosque, okay, and get married. Or a halal website, or parents, or other sources. 

..."try and befriend other incels'... Your father needs to give you a slap. 

[laithAlIRAQI]

On 6/24/2016 at 5:01 PM, Chaotic Muslem said:

98% of males on this forum are incels

Lol thanks 

[AbdusSibtayn]

I wouldn't say 99% of the males on this forum are incel, whether Arabi or Ajami.
But a good number of them are yet not marriageable as per our contemporary social standards - not yet old/financially secure enough.

[starlight]

48 minutes ago, AbdusSibtayn said:

a good number of them are yet not marriageable as per our contemporary social standards - not yet old/financially secure enough.

That's incel!  

[Reza]

Definition by Wikipedia. Simply being unmarried or a virgin doesn't make one an "incel". Obviously it's something much deeper than this. 

Quote

Incels (a portmanteau of "involuntary celibates") are self-identifying members of an online subculture[1][2] who define themselves as unable to find a romantic or sexual partner despite desiring one, a state they describe as inceldom.[3] Self-identified incels are mostly white, male and heterosexual.[4][5][6][7][8][9][10][11][12] Discussions in incel forums are often characterized by resentment, misanthropy,[1] self-pity,[13] self-loathing,[14] misogyny, racism, a sense of entitlement to sex, and the endorsement of violence against sexually active people.[6][12][15][16][17] The Southern Poverty Law Center described the subculture as "part of the online male supremacist ecosystem" that is a member of their list of hate groups,[18][19] and self-described incels have committed at least four mass murders in North America.

[YAli]

5 hours ago, Reza said:

Definition by Wikipedia. Simply being unmarried or a virgin doesn't make one an "incel". Obviously it's something much deeper than this. 

GOD... and i thought we were done with the titles of feminist, LGBT, then LGBT+other weird stuff...but no... now we have this. 

I think the millennial (i'm referring to those in the west), need to just shut up and direct their lost hearts to religion, and find Allah. May Allah protect  Muslims from the numerous crap being spewed these days, the vast majority from the misguided and lost.   

"endorsement of violence against sexually active people" .... i just want you brothers and sisters on this forum to think. You could be married one day with a loving wife, walking down a street perhaps with a child - and one of these 'incels may see you and have having nothing but hatred for you and your wife (well talk about evil eye), they could even potentially harm you or kill you. I googled some of these incels, and some of them are very extreme, talking about cutting a persons private parts. 

OP - You are not married because of YOU. Drop this insufferable incel RUBBISH, change your attitude and get your asss out there and someone will marry you (mosque, parents, halal websites, etc.). Sorry to be blunt, but i have. I don't want me, or my brothers and sisters on this forum, and around the world, walking with their family one day and you harbouring hatred in your heart, or even thinking of harming them. Understood?   

Ya Rab.. i swear each and every day that goes by i realise more and more how blessed i am that Allah has guided me, and given me what brings guidance and peace to ones life. 

[Gaius I. Caesar]

23 minutes ago, YAli said:

GOD... and i thought we were done with the titles of feminist, LGBT, then LGBT+other weird stuff...but no... now we have this. 

I think the millennial (i'm referring to those in the west), need to just shut up and direct their lost hearts to religion, and find Allah. May Allah protect  Muslims from the numerous crap being spewed these days, the vast majority from the misguided and lost.   

"endorsement of violence against sexually active people" .... i just want you brothers and sisters on this forum to think. You could be married one day with a loving wife, walking down a street perhaps with a child - and one of these 'incels may see you and have having nothing but hatred for you and your wife (well talk about evil eye), they could even potentially harm you or kill you. I googled some of these incels, and some of them are very extreme, talking about cutting a persons private parts. 

OP - You are not married because of YOU. Drop this insufferable incel RUBBISH, change your attitude and get your asss out there and someone will marry you (mosque, parents, halal websites, etc.). Sorry to be blunt, but i have. I don't want me, or my brothers and sisters on this forum, and around the world, walking with their family one day and you harbouring hatred in your heart, or even thinking of harming them. Understood?   

Ya Rab.. i swear each and every day that goes by i realise more and more how blessed i am that Allah has guided me, and given me what brings guidance and peace to ones life. 

Happens in the East too, the Westerners are just the first to make it a movement and slap a name on it. As for cutting one's privates off,  that's just deplorable but I don't think they have the guts  to do it if they don't have the guts  to admit they are at fault. I'm probably wrong though.

OP- Being an incel is nothing to be proud  of, you're in the company of men who can't get a woman and lash out at society for perceived judgment on looks and being unsuccessful. These are kind of people who will run you over with a truck, gun down people at a mall and throw acid in the faces of innocent families. If you feel this angry and frustrated, please for the love of Al-Wadud, get some help. Sure, you may tell me: "But I am just ugly and gave  up, I'm not as extreme as those other guys" but all it takes is one bad day for you and you become a danger.  

[YAli]

1 hour ago, Gaius I. Caesar said:

Happens in the East too, the Westerners are just the first to make it a movement and slap a name on it. As for cutting one's privates off,  that's just deplorable but I don't think they have the guts  to do it if they don't have the guts  to admit they are at fault. I'm probably wrong though.

OP- Being an incel is nothing to be proud  of, you're in the company of men who can't get a woman and lash out at society for perceived judgment on looks and being unsuccessful. These are kind of people who will run you over with a truck, gun down people at a mall and throw acid in the faces of innocent families. If you feel this angry and frustrated, please for the love of Al-Wadud, get some help. Sure, you may tell me: "But I am just ugly and gave  up, I'm not as extreme as those other guys" but all it takes is one bad day for you and you become a danger.  

Brother, there's one things doing that to oneself (which is sickening), but then it's another thing doing it to someone else. One place i read of these these 'incels' advocating and pushing another incel to chop off the private parts of a guy in a relationship, and then pour some acid or something in the area. Oh yeah and ofcourse to trap that guy in the first place the suggestion was to smother him with a towel which had some chemical in it which would make him pass out......So is this some of the things these incels want to meet up for? To plan how to torture people who are in a loving harmonious relationship? 

OP- please as bro Gaius said, get some help urgently. This is not something you should not even identify yourself with, you should not even think of yourself this way. I have seen plenty of people that are not good looking at all, they all get married, no problem. You just need to find the right routes to search. 

Edited June 16, 2018 by YAli

[Gaius I. Caesar]

24 minutes ago, YAli said:

.So is this some of the things these incels want to meet up for? To plan how to torture people who are in a loving harmonious relationship? 

People were this evil before the incels and will continue to be long after they're gone. I'm just glad that I don't associate with these losers, this is literally scraping the bottom of the barrel for humanity. Be wary, that's all I can say.

[AbdusSibtayn]

9 hours ago, starlight said:

That's incel!  

Hmmm......I was led to believe that being incel entailed being permanently umarriageable. But this isn't the case here.  It's more about temporary inability.

You wont call a 22-year old bachelor without a permanent job an 'incel', would you?

[Hameedeh]

36 minutes ago, AbdusSibtayn said:

Hmmm......I was led to believe that being incel entailed being permanently umarriageable. But this isn't the case here.  It's more about temporary inability.

You wont call a 22-year old bachelor without a permanent job an 'incel', would you?

Incel is a name some people use for their own identification. It's probably inappropriate to call someone else an Incel.

[Gaius I. Caesar]

30 minutes ago, Hameedeh said:

Incel is a name some people use for their own identification. It's probably inappropriate to call someone else an Incel.

Not really, but they do have dangerous and inappropriate views.

[Hameedeh]

45 minutes ago, Gaius I. Caesar said:

Not really, but they do have dangerous and inappropriate views.

I've read that 4 Incels have committed murder in the US. With that kind of criminal activity and bad publicity I don't think anyone wants to associate with any group of people using that name. 

[Reza]

Anybody keep confusing this with Intel, the technology company? I keep mixing the two words in my head. 

[AbdusSibtayn]

16 hours ago, Hameedeh said:

Incel is a name some people use for their own identification. It's probably inappropriate to call someone else an Incel.

Nor do I like the term, sister. It reeks of victim-hood and self-pity. I was actually talking about 'classifying' certain people as incels- would they fit the description or not.

Most of those who whine about themselves being 'incels' are often incorrigibles who do not want to fix things about their personality or their behavior, and then blame the women for not liking them - maybe they could be a bit more polite, a bit more polished in their conduct, a bit more particular about their personal hygiene, put on/lose some mass as the case may be, work on their conversation/socializing skills. I am hardly an authority on the topic, but I do think that most women are too realistic to be looking only for John Waynes and Dwayne Johnsons.

If Juwaybir (ra) had been been living in our times, he would most likely have self-identified/ been branded as an 'incel'. Thankfully, he lived 1400 years ago, in the Prophet(sawa)'s time.

[starlight]

3 hours ago, AbdusSibtayn said:

Hmmm......I was led to believe that being incel entailed being permanently umarriageable. But this isn't the case here.  It's more about temporary inability.

You wont call a 22-year old bachelor without a permanent job an 'incel', would you?

Relax!  I was just joking.

[AbdusSibtayn]

7 minutes ago, starlight said:

Relax!  I was just joking.

I was not serious or 'debatey' either, sister! 
Any misimpression caused is greatly regretted!

[Ashvazdanghe]

Jowaiber and Zalfa

"How beautiful it were if you could marry and establish a family, ending this forlorn and isolated life? You could fulfill your natural urges and also she could help you in your temporal and spiritual needs and goals."

"O Messenger of Allah, I have neither wealth nor beauty; nor I have a noble descent or lineage. Who will marry me? And which woman likes to be wife of a poor, short, black and ugly man like me?"

"O Jowaiber! God has changed the individual's worth through Islam. Many people were high- placed in the pre-Islamic society and Islam brought them down. Many were despised non-entities and Islam bestowed them with honor and high rank and brought them up. Islam abolished the un- Islamic discrimination and pride of lineage. Now all people irrespective of their color and origin are equal. Nobody has superiority over others but through piety and obedience to Allah. Among the Muslims, only that person would be higher than you whose virtues and deeds are better than you.

Now do as I tell you.".......https://www.al-islam.org/anecdotes-pious-men-ayatullah-murtadha-mutahhari/jowaiber-and-zalfa

[Chaotic Muslem]

14 hours ago, Reza said:

Definition by Wikipedia. Simply being unmarried or a virgin doesn't make one an "incel". Obviously it's something much deeper than this. 

I try not to be a literalist be it in religious matters or none religious matters.

Quote

Incels (a portmanteau of "involuntary celibates") are self-identifying members of an online subculture[1][2] who define themselves as unable to find a romantic or sexual partner despite desiring one, a state they describe as inceldom.[3] Self-identified incels are mostly white, male and heterosexual.[4][5][6][7][8][9][10][11][12] Discussions in incel forums are often characterized by resentment, misanthropy,[1] self-pity,[13] self-loathing,[14] misogyny, racism, a sense of entitlement to sex, and the endorsement of violence against sexually active people.[6][12][15][16][17] The Southern Poverty Law Center described the subculture as "part of the online male supremacist ecosystem" that is a member of their list of hate groups,[18][19] and self-described incels have committed at least four mass murders in North America.

If we took the main behavior of the incel definition without associating it with any online or offline community, a certain race or certain nationality, we will be discussing a real issue that is often recurring theme in many "i want to marry" topics in SC.

It is better not to bury head in sand and it is better to address the matter:

1- unable to find a romantic or sexual partner despite desiring one

2-   Discussions  are often characterized by resentment, misanthropy,[1] self-pity,[13] self-loathing,[14] misogyny, racism, a sense of entitlement to sex, and the endorsement of violence against sexually active people

3- Other thoughts that might be missed by the wikipedia

 

Lets pick up 30 "i want to marry, i cannot find partner" topics in SC, made by 30 different accounts and see if we can find that theme in them.

I might had been unfairly generalizing when i said 99% of males, obviously i was joking as always, but i wont say that the inceldom is a white supremacist phenomena.  It has much to do with global urbanization, education system, gender blender, work and employment ad probably other socio-economic factors. 

[starlight]

 Jowaiber and Zalfa (Millenial Edition)

'How nice would it be if I could marry someone who would be my companion in this life and hereafter and a garment and a source of sakeena for me in this harsh dunya,' thought Ammar. 

'But who would marry me? I have just graduated, working at an entry level job, have student loans to pay off,my parents are reverts from Africa, my family isn't rich and I am dark skinned and not considered handsome by the usual social standards.' 

At that moment Sarah's face flashed through his mind.She came with her family came to the same Islamic centre he went to. Always looking modest and pretty in her hijab,Sarah was the only daughter of rich Arab parents who had come in search of a better life to that country and eventually managed in setting up a very successful business. Now in her last year at college it was no secret that Sarah had many admirers. Sarah's parents seemed very religious people who were actively involved in the running of Islamic centre,organising majalis and often made big financial contributions towards the running of the I'dara. 

That night after Salat ul layl, Ammar thought, 'guess what, I will ask for Sarah's hand. After all we are Muslims, followers of Prophet(saw) and Islam. Didn't the Prophet(saw) say :God has changed the individual's worth through Islam.  Islam abolished the un- Islamic discrimination and pride of lineage. Now all people irrespective of their color and origin are equal. Nobody has superiority over others but through piety and obedience to Allah. Among the Muslims, only that person would be higher than you whose virtues and deeds are better than you.'

So next Friday night in the centre, Ammar after reciting Dua e Kumayl as he had been doing for the past several years, mustered the courage to go up to Sarah's father as he stood there making arrangements to invite a well known lecturer to speak at the birth anniversary of 11th Imam(as) 

'I have come to ask for your daughters hand in marriage', said Ammar, after paying his respects and introducing himself to Sarah' father.

'You!? How dare you ask for my daughter's hand? Do you not know we do not marry into people who are not our equals in social status? And you are not even an Arab!! How could you even think I would marry my daughter to someone from a different race?? My daughter is used to a certain life style, she has lived like a princess all her life and I will marry her off to someone who can afford to keep her like a queen' 

'I assure I will treat your daughter like a queen, I have a good degree and I am willing to wok hard. InshAllah very soon I will be able to afford a house where your daughter can live comfortably and I hope together we can turn it into a home where we can put teachings and remembrance of Ahlulbayt(as) into practice. As for the me not being Arab, surely you must know Imam Hasan Askari(as) the masoom (as) whose majlis you are arranging was born to a woman 'Hudaifah' of African descent and she was known to be one of the most pious women of her age.'

This outraged Sarah's father still further. Sarah,who had been witnessing this exchange from a distance decided to come and inquire about what was going on. Now Ammar thought back to the story of original Jowaiber and Zalfa and thought 'she will put some sense into her old man's head.' 

As Sarah's father recounted her events of the past few minutes her face turned a deep shade of crimson,one that almost matched the colour of her deep red silken designer hijab and was just a tad shade lighter than her Hermes Birkin 25cm Bag in 'Red'. 

'Oh,look! She is blushing,' Ammar's heart filled with happiness and his chest expanded to the size that blocked both Sarah and his father's view of the mosque hall. 

Eventually Sarah turned to Ammar and said,' okay, there. Don't try to pressurise us with the Islamic stuff. You are not allowed to judge people in this country!you know that? It's called being civilised. As far as your proposal I have suitors asking for my hand ever since I started college, very rich and handsome young men from our own social circle,people like us!! But I turned all of them down because no one was good enough for me and now you come thinking I WILL MARRY YOU??!!' 

With that she turned around on her black heels and stormed off ,and Ammar noticed that the soles of her shoes were red, 'hmm weird colour for shoe soles' Of course he didn't know they were Louboutin Pigalle Follies 85 patent leather pumps(totally uncomfortable,over priced ripoffs in my opinion)

Ammar turned to put on his slip on espadrilles(very comfortable and stylish shoes by the way,must have summer shoes for men,sorry I cannot not comment on shoes) as he got ready to leave the mosque and muttered to himself, I should go and post in the SC Incel thread, after all I am one.'

[Abu Hadi]

^....It's 10 years later and Sarah is now 35. She still hasn't found a guy who meets her 'standards'. So she puts on her Pigalle Follies 85 patent leather pumps(which are by now out of fashion) and gives it one more go. She slides into her Shocking Red Range Rover Sport, firmly fastens her seat belt, cranks up the soundtrack from her freind Amal's wedding which happened last week, and drives down to Orlando. She steps inside the hotel lobby and askes, 'Where is the registration table for Heavenly Match?'. She is directed past the samosa table to a small table hidden in a dimly lit corner of the lobby. 

She grabs the sister at the table by the corner of her sleeve, 'Look here Amina, I just want to get married, I don't think I am asking too much. All I want is a guy who is a doctor, dresses in the latest fashion, is 5 feet 11 inches or taller, light coffee complexion, likes to rollerblade on the beach at sunset, lives in a white, 6 bedroom , 3 bath, tutor style house in zip code 48121, is from 'INSERT PARENTS VILLAGE NAME HERE', looks like a cross between a younger George Clooney and 'INSERT NAME OF PAKISTANI SINGER HERE", likes to go shoe shopping with me, has a phD in Physics (that's for my parents), and I guess does namaz and fasts during Ramadan. I don't think that's asking too much, do you'. Amina just stares blankly into the large green lampshade across the aisle. 

After 3 person to person meetings, Sarah decides to leave Orlando empty handed. She thinks to herself 'I think when I get back I might want to go cat shopping, Oh, and can females also be incels?' 

Edited June 17, 2018 by Abu Hadi

[Reza]

4 hours ago, Chaotic Muslem said:

If we took the main behavior of the incel definition without associating it with any online or offline community, a certain race or certain nationality, we will be discussing a real issue that is often recurring theme in many "i want to marry" topics in SC.

"Incel" originated from the internet, so you cannot separate it from the community the term came from. Also all the context and connotations with it, which are overwhelmingly negative. 

The issues facing many young people are important, but to associate it with this term is dangerous, unnecessary, and unproductive. It obscures the gap between the relatively functioning people temporarily bummed out they don't have anyone at the moment (but eventually will) vs those with serious mental issues, pathologic social problems, and extreme hatred, who codified this into an identity group. 

I can assure you 99.9% of struggling people on SC do not share anything with this "incel" movement. They respect the other gender, are peaceful individuals, do not harbor hatred, and have lots of social potential, that only needs to grow.

We need fewer identity groups overall, not more. Especially ones like this. It's a drag into a swamp of ugliness. 

[YAli]

5 hours ago, Reza said:

"Incel" originated from the internet, so you cannot separate it from the community the term came from. Also all the context and connotations with it, which are overwhelmingly negative. 

The issues facing many young people are important, but to associate it with this term is dangerous, unnecessary, and unproductive. It obscures the gap between the relatively functioning people temporarily bummed out they don't have anyone at the moment (but eventually will) vs those with serious mental issues, pathologic social problems, and extreme hatred, who codified this into an identity group. 

I can assure you 99.9% of struggling people on SC do not share anything with this "incel" movement. They respect the other gender, are peaceful individuals, do not harbor hatred, and have lots of social potential, that only needs to grow.

We need fewer identity groups overall, not more. Especially ones like this. It's a drag into a swamp of ugliness. 

Perfect post brother. Full of wisdom. Some people are just too blind or stupid to see common sense. 

All these groups popping up left and right are pure garbage, and only possible today because of the Internet/social media, and just too much time on people's hands spent on the Internet. 

[Soldiers and Saffron]

On 6/24/2016 at 6:46 AM, Qinawi said:

Incel is short for Involuntary celibacy, a condition where due to a variety of reasons

Salam,

The only "incels" you will find here are those waiting/seeking marriage, in this case Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى has ordered us to wait and be patient.

Also, I dont really understand how someone can be in a involuntary celibacy (unless religiously motivated) as if its only a matter of celibacy then theres always women who will be with you for money.