Jump to content
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!) ×
ShiaChat.com
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!)
In the Name of God بسم الله

Need for Mutah

Rate this topic


Recommended Posts

  • Basic Members

Assalm Alaykom,

I am 15, and have hit puberty at 13, meaning since then i have had strong sexual desires. Alhamdullilah i do not masturbate, but till now i feel i can't take it anymore and i have to do something. I do not want to do haram but i have tried everything from Dua to self control methods and my desires grow stronger every day. Islam has allowed Mutah for anyone who has bit puberty, meaning it is not wrong for such person like me. Any advice? I really need help:ws:

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Site Administrators

While Islam has allowed Mutah (according to shia school of thought), it is unfortunately one of those permissions/practices that has almost become obsolete (in this age and time). So I wouldn't recommend that you rely on it to combat sexual desires. You may have reached puberty but you are most likely dependent on someone. Therefore work on becoming an independent person capable of supporting someone before you think of marriage (temporary or permanent). Do your level best to stay away from haram acts, offer your daily prayers and keep reminding yourself that Allah is most Just and Merciful. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member
1 hour ago, Saaaam said:

Assalm Alaykom,

I am 15, and have hit puberty at 13, meaning since then i have had strong sexual desires. Alhamdullilah i do not masturbate, but till now i feel i can't take it anymore and i have to do something. I do not want to do haram but i have tried everything from Dua to self control methods and my desires grow stronger every day. Islam has allowed Mutah for anyone who has bit puberty, meaning it is not wrong for such person like me. Any advice? I really need help:ws:

I'm happy for you brother that you haven't indulged in gunah (musturbation) and this is very sincere suggestion that please don't do that, not even once. You will be damned. It has so much disadvantages physically, mentally and spiritually. Meanwhile, if you control yourself for the same, reward is enormous and will help you in the long run. As far as mutah is concerned it is absolutely allowed but has 70 conditions (according to 1 hadith). See how people accept mutah where you live. In some countries, it's very popular where as some society are against that even after being legal and in Islamic way with terms and conditions. As per your age I'll suggest you that you hit the gym, take some sports, jog everyday and keep yourself busy all the day to stay away from gunah. Focus on your education, that will help.(both academic and Islamic). 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member
1 hour ago, Saaaam said:

Assalm Alaykom,

I am 15, and have hit puberty at 13, meaning since then i have had strong sexual desires. Alhamdullilah i do not masturbate, but till now i feel i can't take it anymore and i have to do something. I do not want to do haram but i have tried everything from Dua to self control methods and my desires grow stronger every day. Islam has allowed Mutah for anyone who has bit puberty, meaning it is not wrong for such person like me. Any advice? I really need help:ws:

I have lived singel for over 3 years so I understand you somewhat. It is very hard but what helps is to pray to the most beneficent to help you. Also dhikr and salah helps and ofcourse to avoid thinking about things which arouse you.

Pray alot it will help guranteed

May the most merciful forgive us

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member
11 minutes ago, sakura1994 said:

so you think mutah is better then masturbation , ok . :liar:

Uhhh, masturbation for one is haram, and entails health risks, while mutah is allowed and allows for a healthy relationship, if practised right.

Edited by Vestige
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member
On 6/3/2016 at 10:20 AM, Vestige said:

Uhhh, masturbation for one is haram, and entails health risks, while mutah is allowed and allows for a healthy relationship, if practised right.

allowed for 15 years old ? .. are you serious this is illegal , also whoever the female that agree to do mutah with him would be older and that would be pedophillia , and if it's younger girl that would also be illegal .

AND boys his age should focus more in study and do sports , he probability watch porn or music with nude stuff that's why he have that desire , people should advice him to turn his interest into other stuff then sex not do mutah , what if he got girl pregnant would he take responsibility and be father at 15 .

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member

I’ll keep my answers brief because this topic is kinda awkward.

1 hour ago, sakura1994 said:

allowed for 15 years old ? .. are you serious this is illegal , also whoever the female that agree to do mutah with him would be older and that would be pedophillia , and if it's younger girl that would also be illegal.

I only said that mutah is better than masturbation, given that the latter is forbidden. Whether or not I’d encourage a fifteen year old to get married at that age is another story.

Illegal and ‘immoral’ according to most countries, legal and perfectly moral according to the Prophet (s) and Ahlulbayt (as).

1 hour ago, sakura1994 said:

AND boys his age should focus more in study and do sports , he probability watch porn or music with nude stuff that's why he have that desire , people should advice him to turn his interest into other stuff then sex not do mutah.

You can’t just accuse someone of watching porn like that. I’m just saying.

Yes, I agree, sports and anything else that’ll drain your energy would be more ideal at that age.

1 hour ago, sakura1994 said:

what if he got girl pregnant would he take responsibility and be father at 15 .

Firstly, the main aim of muta is to relieve your desires, not procreate.

Secondly, forms of contraception such as coitus interruptus are permitted by most (if not all) of our scholars.

Edited by Vestige
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member

dear brother @Saaaam I won' recommend you to touch any girl in a halal relationship like mutah till you are at least 24 years old. I really hope by then you are already married into a permanent marriage by then.

Yes mutah is halal, it is one of the most beautiful blessings of Allah swt for this day and time, and disagreeing with brother Abbas., it is widely practiced here in the USA among Shia Muslims men and women specially among those who are divorced or are not married till their late; but before any ease Islam gives you, Islam wants you to learn self control.

Learning self control combined with reliance on Allah swt (taqwa and tawakkul) meaning restrain and then giving your affairs in the hands of Allah swt after you have done your own due diligence, is one of the most important characteristic that will make you become a better human and a better Muslim as you grow older.

One fact besides death and taxes is none of us can get everything that we want to have, materially and spiritually. Humans tend to build false goals, struggle like a donkey for the rest of their lives to get to those goals, and once some achieved and some still not achieved reaches the age of understanding, realizes that he could have spent all that time on much better, more meaningful, more productive and enriching activities. So I suggest that even if girls throw themselves at you, do not do any aqd timed or untimed and practice self control, focus on your school and career, and then when you could stand tall on your own that you could become a shoulder to yourself, your family, and be able to sustain at least another family for the sake of Allah swt, then marry. One more advice, see if you could engaged with a nice momina girl when you are about to get into college. Just having her your fiancee' would keep you away from sexual desires and more on the side of selfless love. 

 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member
6 hours ago, Saaaam said:

Assalm Alaykom,

I am 15, and have hit puberty at 13, meaning since then i have had strong sexual desires. Alhamdullilah i do not masturbate, but till now i feel i can't take it anymore and i have to do something. I do not want to do haram but i have tried everything from Dua to self control methods and my desires grow stronger every day. Islam has allowed Mutah for anyone who has bit puberty, meaning it is not wrong for such person like me. Any advice? I really need help:ws:

Waleykom Assalam brother.

I do not blame you with what you are asking, in fact I support you. The only problem is that it is hard to find Muta at this age. 

It is great that you refrained from doing haram since your pubirty, welldone brother, welldone. My only advice for you is to fast as much as you can (this is one of the strongest way to lower your sexual desires) and refrain from eating too much food that increases your sexual desires. Also try to avoid whatever that may arouse you.

Remember, don't panic about it, the key is to be absolutely normal. You are not asked to kill your desires, but to control them. 

May Allah be with you and protect you from the shaytan.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome to life kid. It all depends on how you overcome challenges. If you give in and fail, this is will effect your earning and intellectual level in life. Psychological studies have taken place, where they would test young people on self control. Those who gave in early, did not always do well later in life. Think success, therefore, one must exercise patience, self control, and intelligence. If you can do muta, go for it,but you cannot then your goal self control and healthy distraction, that being studies, hobbies, work, volunteering.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member

I really want to know where you are from. It is different from place to place. You can tell a boy in Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, Iran, and other countries which practice the rules of Hijab to stay clean and distract yourself. But for a boy from, say, France, US, Spain, and the likes which are filled with indecently clothed women is just next to impossible to distract themselves. You tell him to go to the gym and play sports? What happens when walks out, and with all those other sports players who have their friends with them? Almost impossible!

You must first tell where you live and what the conditions are, regarding school, family, work, etc. so that anyone can give you an exact and clear answer.

Edited by Salman Haqiqi
Missed a point.
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Moderators
3 hours ago, sakura1994 said:

allowed for 15 years old ? .. are you serious this is illegal , also whoever the female that agree to do mutah with him would be older and that would be pedophillia , and if it's younger girl that would also be illegal .

AND boys his age should focus more in study and do sports , he probability watch porn or music with nude stuff that's why he have that desire , people should advice him to turn his interest into other stuff then sex not do mutah , what if he got girl pregnant would he take responsibility and be father at 15 .

 

 

This is the problem. Please take a reality pill. I went to High School in the US (I wasn't muslim at the time). By 15, half the boys and girls in the school were sleeping around with each other. They were not sleeping around with 25 or 35 year olds, it was with other kids their age. I can't imagine this is much different in other places. So now that I live in a muslim community, Dearborn, I don't see much difference. The only difference is that the High School kids here sneak around in hotel / motel rooms, cars, tell their parents they're 'going to the library'  and don't acknowledge the others they are doing Zina with and everything is swept under the carpet by their family when they become close to 30 and are then considered 'ready' to get married. 

The problem is that half the population refuses to acknowledge this, and the other half don't care. Which results in these kids being utterly confused. Because the OP is under 18, noone here should tell him to do mutah (because this would be illegal in many places, age of consent is 16 where I live, but that doesn't mean that law has anything to do with Islam). 

To the OP, noone here will be able to give you good advice. Right when you said your age, most brothers and sisters decided they will not touch this thread with a ten foot pole. You need to sit down with your parents and have a 'heart to heart' discussion on this subject and be honest with them and ask them to help you to keep yourself on Haqq and within the Halal. That is the best advice I can give you. And if you are not masturbating, being careful about what you watch, etc, you should continue to do that. Because whether you are married or single, controlling your nafs is extremely important. 

I would have normally locked this thread by now, but the OP seems sincere. I'll allow it for now. 

Edited by Abu Hadi
Link to post
Share on other sites
48 minutes ago, Irfani313 said:

dear brother @Saaaam I won' recommend you to touch any girl in a halal relationship like mutah till you are at least 24 years old. I really hope by then you are already married into a permanent marriage by then.

 

 

You need to specify rationally why you are advocating such a thought?. Do you expect him to fast until 24?, are you not also taking into to consideration mental implications. If cake is available, then one should eat it but not to the point, where they become ill in the long term. Balance and moderation lead to a healthy life. Your ideas are of an older person, which has fulfilled his natural desires and is now seeking spirituality, which is what you are impressing upon a pubescent man,

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member
5 hours ago, sefket83 said:

I have lived singel for over 3 years so I understand you somewhat. It is very hard but what helps is to pray to the most beneficent to help you. Also dhikr and salah helps and ofcourse to avoid thinking about things which arouse you.

Pray alot it will help guranteed

May the most merciful forgive us

Only 3 years? :) I am really jealous to you now. I am still single and I am now 22 and I know for at least 5 years from now I am going to be single, in five years it would be 12 years of loneliness, which reminds me of the movie 12 years a slave . :D:D:D And still I cannot do haram, :) but sexual desire is the last thing I am thinking about. Keep your stomach empty which is a bit painful but you will forget everything else including sexual desire. This is my method :) 

Anyway I think both of us should be given Medals of Honor :) for such resilience.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member
26 minutes ago, Hidaren said:

Only 3 years? :) I am really jealous to you now. I am still single and I am now 22 and I know for at least 5 years from now I am going to be single, in five years it would be 12 years of loneliness, which reminds me of the movie 12 years a slave . :D:D:D And still I cannot do haram, :) but sexual desire is the last thing I am thinking about. Keep your stomach empty which is a bit painful but you will forget everything else including sexual desire. This is my method :) 

Anyway I think both of us should be given Medals of Honor :) for such resilience.

It works to fast but you can not do it forever so maybe a mix of fast and prayer also extra dhikr and salah.

Forgive and you will be forgiven...judge not and you will not be judged ☺

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member
5 minutes ago, sefket83 said:

It works to fast but you can not do it forever so maybe a mix of fast and prayer also extra dhikr and salah.

Forgive and you will be forgiven...judge not and you will not be judged ☺

Yeah it cannot be done always, sometimes you eat too much :D in those cases taking a cold shower will do it.

But these are not what Allah(swt) meant for us to be, it is what our parents brought upon us, their wrong lifestyle, and wrong policies of governments ended up to this crises, they wanted to make our lives better yet they ruined everything.

There is a story about a poet.

In the winter a poet was traveling on a road away from villages, suddenly out of no where some bandits took him, he was a poet of the king's court so he told himself maybe a poem can save me, he told them I want to see your chief and they took him to the chief, he started to praise the chief with a poem, but the chief was illiterate and ordered them to take of his clothes and let him go naked, while he was leaving,  and trembling of the cold weather, some dogs started to pursue him, he sat down to pick up a stone to scare the dogs but the stones were frozen to the ground and they could not be picked up, he shouted loudly:" How damn these guys are they have bounded the stone and unbounded the dogs." the bandit chief heard him and loved this simple saying, he ordered them to bring him back and he gave him back his clothes.

This story might seem funny but some parts of this story is our story:

How damn these guys are they have bounded the stone and unbounded the dogs.

They have filled everywhere with sexual contents and created a lifestyle that people cannot marry on time, and what happens here the youths are left in the middle helpless and hopeless. This is disaster.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member
23 minutes ago, Hidaren said:

Yeah it cannot be done always, sometimes you eat too much :D in those cases taking a cold shower will do it.

But these are not what Allah(swt) meant for us to be, it is what our parents brought upon us, their wrong lifestyle, and wrong policies of governments ended up to this crises, they wanted to make our lives better yet they ruined everything.

There is a story about a poet.

In the winter a poet was traveling on a road away from villages, suddenly out of no where some bandits took him, he was a poet of the king's court so he told himself maybe a poem can save me, he told them I want to see your chief and they took him to the chief, he started to praise the chief with a poem, but the chief was illiterate and ordered them to take of his clothes and let him go naked, while he was leaving,  and trembling of the cold weather, some dogs started to pursue him, he sat down to pick up a stone to scare the dogs but the stones were frozen to the ground and they could not be picked up, he shouted loudly:" How damn these guys are they have bounded the stone and unbounded the dogs." the bandit chief heard him and loved this simple saying, he ordered them to bring him back and he gave him back his clothes.

This story might seem funny but some parts of this story is our story:

How damn these guys are they have bounded the stone and unbounded the dogs.

They have filled everywhere with sexual contents and created a lifestyle that people cannot marry on time, and what happens here the youths are left in the middle helpless and hopeless. This is disaster.

I think it is good to find a mate even if it is only temporary ofcourse one should avoid to have more then one partner if it is a women and it is enough for a man too with just one wife to avoid sins. You know devils biggest tricks is to use your weakness to make you commit bigger sins then just adultery so sometimes even masturbation is ok if one must and can not find someone.

May God have mercy on us all and praise be to my saviour Christ

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member
On 6/3/2016 at 5:38 PM, sefket83 said:

I think it is good to find a mate even if it is only temporary ofcourse one should avoid to have more then one partner if it is a women and it is enough for a man too with just one wife to avoid sins. You know devils biggest tricks is to use your weakness to make you commit bigger sins then just adultery so sometimes even masturbation is ok if one must and can not find someone.

May God have mercy on us all and praise be to my saviour Christ

The sin of masturbation is far worse than fornication in Islam, it is not acceptable to do so, and the saying that "it is OK" was first announced by some idiot psychologists, specially those who are the followers of Sigmund Froud, the masturbation is done through imagination and it also effects the time of ejaculation in both women and men, for men it will happen sooner for women later so if someone masturbates before marriage they will have many problems with after marriage. 90% of masturbation is imagination, and when it comes to real action after marriage, disability in focusing is one of the problems which will again forge new problems. If someone masturbates using pornographic contents, an ability will be added to the person and that's the ability of making differentiation, he/she will know the different kinds of bodies, relations, and ... and when it comes to marriage, there will be only one possible choice, and this might not be what he/she loves so here the problem begins, but if the person doesn't have such ability every kind of sexual relation would be the most joyful relation to him for he/she doesn't know the other possibilities. Researches showed that too many of divorces are because of these side effects of masturbation.

Here are some other side effects of masturbation:

1. Eyes will be weakened.

2. A constant trembling will be instilled in body.

3. Losing the motivation for starting doing things.

4. Losing courage.

5. Losing weight.

6. Sleep deprivation.

7. Abnormal heart beat rate.

8. Decrease in the numbers of sperms in case of being an addict to it.

9. Becoming nervous.

.... 

If you mean mutah by temporary mate, it is halal in Islam but if you mean girlfriend then the problem begins, for it is fornication due to Allah's laws. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member
16 minutes ago, Sumayyeh said:

Did you mean to say the above? Is it typing error?

I know Istimna (masturbation) is a Major sin. I would think Zina (fornication) is as well. 

I was wondering the same thing. I would expect actual illicit intercourse with someone to be far worse.

@The Batman Could you clarify please?

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member

Dear brother @monad point there is to learn to stay hungry before learn to eat, to learn to be deprived before being endowed, to learn to suffer before to come in ease, because those who do other way around fail miserably unless they have the nerves of steels.

Now I know, you know, and everybody else knows that he is not going to remain without a halal relationship for too long, 24 is an arbitrary number, but basically my advice is about practice patience and self restrain before diving into relationships of course halal way. Even married people, when they haven't learned the self control live miserable lives in every which way because desires of everything keep pushing them into vain wants.

No brother, I'm not old. From what I've read, I'll be as old as Br. Hadi or Br. Haji herer, but definitely not what you have seen on my display picture LOL. Yes brother, I myself have been blessed with contracting aqd muta a few times, so am a big advocate but only in the right time, in the right age, in the right way, and with the right person, and after the right prerequisites are met in myself.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member
7 hours ago, Sumayyeh said:

Did you mean to say the above? Is it typing error?

I know Istimna (masturbation) is a Major sin. I would think Zina (fornication) is as well. 

I have heard it from a scholar, that the sin of masturbation is worse that fornication, now you said so, I testified what he has said, here is the resault:

Imam Sadiq(as):" Allah won't talk to 3 persons, first those who remove their white hairs to hide their old age, second a person who masturbates, third a person who people is used for buggery/pederasty."

Imam Sadiq(as):" Masturbation is like fornication."

Imam Sadiq was asked which sin is worse? masturbation or fornication? Imam answers:" Fornication is a greater sin"

and many other hadiths

From the above I understand that fornication is worse, from number 1 to 100 if we give fornication 100 masturbation will be 95. [tanks to @Sumayyeh for showing me my mistake]

Link to post
Share on other sites
41 minutes ago, Hidaren said:

 

Imam Sadiq(as):" Allah won't talk to 3 persons, first those who remove their white hairs to hide their old age, second a person who masturbates, third a person who people is used for buggery/pederasty."

 

Kindly find the correct translation on this, as it is giving an incorrect assumption, that being, the one being used and not the one committing the act/crime. ( the taker not the giver for street slang )

 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member
5 minutes ago, monad said:

Kindly find the correct translation on this, as it is giving an incorrect assumption, that being, the one being used and not the one committing the act/crime. ( the taker not the giver for street slang )

 

In fact the Arabic text meant a male prostitute who sell himself to males.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member
5 minutes ago, monad said:

so what about all the other homosexuals and pedos?.... And to compare removing white hair to that of a male prostitute?......

White hair is for everyone and based on the Arabic text: النَّاتِفُ شَیْبَهُ

It relates to the beards of men.

The translation that I used above was old i looked at the Arabic text of the hadith and here is the Arabic text for the sexual part of hadith related to prostitutes:  الْمَنْکُوحُ فِی دُبُرِه

Which means a person whose *** is used for sexual desires, not only men.

The old translation was somehow wrong because other kinds of homosexuality were almost unknown to everyone until recently, thus they translated the above text to the only thing they knew.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member
On 6/3/2016 at 6:23 PM, Hidaren said:

The sin of masturbation is far worse than fornication in Islam, it is not acceptable to do so, and the saying that "it is OK" was first announced by some idiot psychologists, specially those who are the followers of Sigmund Froud, the masturbation is done through imagination and it also effects the time of ejaculation in both women and men, for men it will happen sooner for women later so if someone masturbates before marriage they will have many problems with after marriage. 90% of masturbation is imagination, and when it comes to real action after marriage, disability in focusing is one of the problems which will again forge new problems. If someone masturbates using pornographic contents, an ability will be added to the person and that's the ability of making differentiation, he/she will know the different kinds of bodies, relations, and ... and when it comes to marriage, there will be only one possible choice, and this might not be what he/she loves so here the problem begins, but if the person doesn't have such ability every kind of sexual relation would be the most joyful relation to him for he/she doesn't know the other possibilities. Researches showed that too many of divorces are because of these side effects of masturbation.

Here are some other side effects of masturbation:

1. Eyes will be weakened.

2. A constant trembling will be instilled in body.

3. Losing the motivation for starting doing things.

4. Losing courage.

5. Losing weight.

6. Sleep deprivation.

7. Abnormal heart beat rate.

8. Decrease in the numbers of sperms in case of being an addict to it.

9. Becoming nervous.

.... 

If you mean mutah by temporary mate, it is halal in Islam but if you mean girlfriend then the problem begins, for it is fornication due to Allah's laws. 

I did alot of masturbation when I was young and had no religion but I never had the problems you mention. I think fornification is far worse in the eyes of God then masturbation. Sometimes you must sin to avoid a bigger sin.

God bless you allways ☺

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member
3 hours ago, sefket83 said:

I did alot of masturbation when I was young and had no religion but I never had the problems you mention.

I have to remind you that it is a Shia forum, not a Church, confession to sins must not be done to other humans except those you have done wrong to them.

Doctors say that smoking is the mother of all cancers, yet many of those who smoke will never die of cancer. These are what will happen if you do it constantly for a long time and yet depends on the resilience of each person's body the effects are different with different degrees. 

3 hours ago, sefket83 said:

Sometimes you must sin to avoid a bigger sin.

Are you serious?????

This is not acceptable in any courts of mankind, how to you expect in the court of God to be acceptable?

For instance: Someone tortured a person, police took him to the court and in the court judge asked him why did you do that? he answers I wanted to see him dead but that was a big crime so to escape that tortured him. Should the court set him free?

 

You might object what I said here so I say another example:

Jews killed Christ so God sent no more prophets for them thus by killing Christ they avoided killing more prophets. 

If you can accept this then I have noting to tell you. 

I should take an screen shot of what you said, to show those who want to convert to Christianity instead of converting to Islam, it would cause them to become Muslim, thanks for your help, your service to Islam won't be forgotten.

One last question: What is your religion? once you your religion to Islam, once Christianity... every time you write one thing for your religion, and now you wrote Islam thru Christ. I hope it doesn't end to Atheism.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Basic Members

Wow! I can't believe i got that much replies :). You guys really motivated me. I wrote this post because some times my urges get to a level where i can't take it anymore, especially that i live in Lebanon and in a school full of 'bad' people. I used mutah as my solution since it is the only halal way other than permanent marriage :). Looks like i will have to be patient for centuries for the time to finally come. Thank you all again :D

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member
On Sunday, June 05, 2016 at 5:04 AM, Hidaren said:

I have to remind you that it is a Shia forum, not a Church, confession to sins must not be done to other humans except those you have done wrong to them.

Doctors say that smoking is the mother of all cancers, yet many of those who smoke will never die of cancer. These are what will happen if you do it constantly for a long time and yet depends on the resilience of each person's body the effects are different with different degrees. 

Are you serious?????

This is not acceptable in any courts of mankind, how to you expect in the court of God to be acceptable?

For instance: Someone tortured a person, police took him to the court and in the court judge asked him why did you do that? he answers I wanted to see him dead but that was a big crime so to escape that tortured him. Should the court set him free?

 

You might object what I said here so I say another example:

Jews killed Christ so God sent no more prophets for them thus by killing Christ they avoided killing more prophets. 

If you can accept this then I have noting to tell you. 

I should take an screen shot of what you said, to show those who want to convert to Christianity instead of converting to Islam, it would cause them to become Muslim, thanks for your help, your service to Islam won't be forgotten.

One last question: What is your religion? once you your religion to Islam, once Christianity... every time you write one thing for your religion, and now you wrote Islam thru Christ. I hope it doesn't end to Atheism.

I am a not a representative example of Christ so why use me if you want to be righteous? 

It is good to tell others about sins sometimes but I agree.

Ofcourse it is good to sin if you must to avoid a bigger sin.

Link to post
Share on other sites
On 03/06/2016 at 9:23 PM, Abu Hadi said:

 

This is the problem. Please take a reality pill. I went to High School in the US (I wasn't muslim at the time). By 15, half the boys and girls in the school were sleeping around with each other. They were not sleeping around with 25 or 35 year olds, it was with other kids their age. I can't imagine this is much different in other places. So now that I live in a muslim community, Dearborn, I don't see much difference. The only difference is that the High School kids here sneak around in hotel / motel rooms, cars, tell their parents they're 'going to the library'  and don't acknowledge the others they are doing Zina with and everything is swept under the carpet by their family when they become close to 30 and are then considered 'ready' to get married. 

The problem is that half the population refuses to acknowledge this, and the other half don't care. Which results in these kids being utterly confused. Because the OP is under 18, noone here should tell him to do mutah (because this would be illegal in many places, age of consent is 16 where I live, but that doesn't mean that law has anything to do with Islam). 

To the OP, noone here will be able to give you good advice. Right when you said your age, most brothers and sisters decided they will not touch this thread with a ten foot pole. You need to sit down with your parents and have a 'heart to heart' discussion on this subject and be honest with them and ask them to help you to keep yourself on Haqq and within the Halal. That is the best advice I can give you. And if you are not masturbating, being careful about what you watch, etc, you should continue to do that. Because whether you are married or single, controlling your nafs is extremely important. 

I would have normally locked this thread by now, but the OP seems sincere. I'll allow it for now. 

+1

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 5 weeks later...
  • Advanced Member
On 6/3/2016 at 1:38 PM, Hidaren said:

Only 3 years? :) I am really jealous to you now. I am still single and I am now 22 and I know for at least 5 years from now I am going to be single, in five years it would be 12 years of loneliness, which reminds me of the movie 12 years a slave . :D:D:D And still I cannot do haram, :) but sexual desire is the last thing I am thinking about. Keep your stomach empty which is a bit painful but you will forget everything else including sexual desire. This is my method :) 

Anyway I think both of us should be given Medals of Honor :) for such resilience.

salamalekum brother,

Can you give me advice, how long have you been single for. And how do you control your sexual desires?

thanks!

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member
On 6/3/2016 at 2:02 PM, sefket83 said:

It works to fast but you can not do it forever so maybe a mix of fast and prayer also extra dhikr and salah.

Forgive and you will be forgiven...judge not and you will not be judged ☺

salamalekum brother

how long have you been fasting to control your desires?

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member
5 hours ago, Caliguy said:

salamalekum brother,

Can you give me advice, how long have you been single for. And how do you control your sexual desires?

thanks!

:ws:

I've been single for my entire life, never been with a girl or married or engaged or ... and I was feeling sexual desires since my 15s like everyone, which means I am single for 7 years.

There are some ways that helps me to control myself:

1. Not eating much: This is two birds with one stone: you won't have too much extra energy in your body, so body won't use this energy in sexual organs and this will helps you a lot, At the same time, eating too much is the mother of many diseases, and prophet Muhammad(sawa) advised us all to stop eating before feeling satisfied.

2. I don't expose myself in situations that might end to sin, for instance, I don't use any pornographic stuff,...

3. I do Salahs, everyday specially morning salah, which is a miracle.

4. This saying helps me a lot, Imam Mahdi(af):" Every sin you (my shias) are committing is a slap in my face." I always remind myself of this and so I tell to myself, committing sin doesn't worth the price.

5. Allah(swt) is always watching, if one cannot commit sin in front of his father then how he/she is committing it in front of Allah(swt).

6. When I was a child I promised to Allah(swt) not to lie for many times but every time I broke it so I get used to breaking my promises ti Allah(swt) like many other Muslims, so I promised to someone else not to sin, someone I never promised to, and he is Imam Mahdi(af), and this helps me a lot, you can promise him too, but know this, Allah(swt) will forgive you for breaking the promises you make to himself but in case of Imam Mahdi(af), The prophet(sawa) and ahlulbayts(as), Allah will take it harder and this is what will prevents you more:1. It is a new experience. 2. The punishment is harder.

7. Edoardo(Mahdi) Anieli and you yourselves are another reason for me to control myself, you are living in countries with free sexual relationships between male and females yet, you are controlling yourselves, so there will be no excuse for me to follow my lust in Iran, an Islamic country with restrictions. Mahdi Anieli was the richest Shia that has ever lived his income was 3 times more than Iran's total income, he gave up everything even his life for his belief, Shi'ism, he is the criterion of our time like Josef(as), there is no excuse for me,you or anyone else.

8. I use a trick that Shaytan thought me: Whenever I want to do something good, Shaytan whispers in my mind words like these:

Now the weather is hot, do it at night

Drink a glass of water first, so you can concentrate on what you want to do,

before doing it do something else

and ...

many of the times we won't do what we wanted to do, just by delaying it.

I use this trick, and whenever I feel strong sexual desire I whisper to myself the above sentences and delay it and delay it and delay it and it is gone :).

9. Cold shower is like a miracle.

10. Doing some sport is very helpful.

11. This last one is a bit expensive :D create a law for yourself, and in case of committing an special sin, you have to pay a special amount of money to a poor guy, and the amount increases, by repeating it :D you have to choose between money and sin, and money wins :D:D

of course the punishment can be something else, for instance for the beginning: 1 day fasting, if you repeat it 2 days fasting, if you repeat it one week, then one month, and ...

12. Reciting Quran, Duas, ... helps you too.

13. I remember this one now: Pray for Imam Mahdi(af), Prophet(sawa), Ahlulbayts(as) and they will pray for you, the they will not remain in debt of anyone, our prays for them won't remain unheard because it is about dearests of Allah(swt), and their prays won't be unheard too, because of the same reason, this decreases the temptations you receive from evil entities.

and many other ways, but keep in mind one doesn't need to do them all, for me the promise to Imam Mahdi(af) is enough, the others are less powerful to me and up to now, I have kept my promise, I hope I don't break it. InshaAllah.

5 hours ago, Caliguy said:

salamalekum brother

how long have you been fasting to control your desires?

I don't do extra fast, for this purpose, but this Dhikr helps me a lot:

Aoudho Bil-Allah Min-Ash_Shaytan Ar-Radhim,

Bismillahi Rahmane Ar-Rahim,

Allahoma Sali Ala Muhammad(sawa) Wa Ale Muhammad(sawa), 

Ilahi Man Li Ghayrok, Anta hafiz wa ana mahfooz wa man hafiz al-mahfoozo ila al-hafiz, ilahi in lam yahfizni lais min hafizina li

and I repeat the last line for multiple lines, 

The meaning now:

You know the meaning of first 3 sentences so I skip to the last:

O my God(Allah), I have no one except you, you are Guardian and I am guarded, who shows mercy to guarded except Guardian, if you do not guard me, there will be no guardian for me.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...