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In the Name of God بسم الله

Punishment for husbands who stare namehram women

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salam ! I really want to know what is the punishment for husbands who stare other women ? I know staring namehrams is haram n etc etc but is their any special or severe punishment for husbands ?

Cause this almosts gives a heart attack when you notice your man staring some other girl who is not even prettier than you. 

And don't say that wives should discuss it with husbands that never turns out good. 

 

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Looking at namehram men and women is Haram and punishable accordingly. However, there is no specific punishment stated in Islamic laws for married people staring at non mehrams.

Edited by starlight
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Salam 

Jealousy is healthy to a point. You sound hurt, but hurting someone you love won't make you feel better. Talk to him. Try and understand why he's looking at other women. Perhaps you're misunderstanding. Are you sure he is staring out of lust? He might be just scoping his environment. I find myself looking/staring at people sometimes, both male and female. It happens. Sometimes I look at people intentionally other times not. But it's not lust. So ask him :) 

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:salam: 

As far as I know, there's no punishment for such action in Islamic laws but it doesn't mean that Allah(swt) won't punish.

A man was passing an alley and saw a woman, he stared at him unconscious of the wall in front of him, but the wall was not the problem, a sharp object was attacked to the wall and the man was unaware of it. While he was starring at that woman the sharp object hit his eye and  one of his eyes became blind, he thought for a second and then left to see the prophet(sawa), and told him what had happened.

Later this verse (Al-Ahzab 59) was send from AllahÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì 

یا ایها النبی قل لازواجک و بناتک و النساء المومنا المومنین یدنین علیهن من جلابینهن ذلک ادنی ان یعرض فلا یوزین و کان الله

غفورا رحیما

One conclusion might be that eyes weakness might the punishment.

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2 hours ago, yusur317 said:

You sound hurt, but hurting someone you love won't make you feel better. Talk to him.

yes when you love someone so much you don't want them to get hurt. but just wanna scare him lolz...

2 hours ago, yusur317 said:

 Are you sure he is staring out of lust? He might be just scoping his environment.

maybe not but still i feel bad about this. n can't talk to him as once i tried and he got really angry n said i can't close my eyes :D 

@Haji 2003 very funny :P  

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17 minutes ago, Zara kaxmi said:

yes when you love someone so much you don't want them to get hurt. but just wanna scare him lolz...

He should do something out of love and respect for you, not fear. Appearance doesn't always influence attraction. Sometimes it's the way someone behaves or carries themselves. Eitherway, there'll always be someone who's more beautiful and more attractive than you, no matter what you do. You need to be comfortable with that idea. It seems to me what you lack is trust in your husband and confidence in yourself and your relationship. He may look at other women, but he will come home to you. You might even find yourself unintentionally oogling attractive men, but it doesn't mean you want to leave your husband- does it? 

 

18 minutes ago, Zara kaxmi said:

maybe not but still i feel bad about this. n can't talk to him as once i tried and he got really angry n said i can't close my eyes :D 

He said you can't close your eyes? I don't understand... What does he mean? 

I think what you should do is let him know he's hurting you with his behaviour. Don't over-react, just clamly tell him "It hurts when I see the one I love look at another woman. It makes me feel (whatever you feel)" If he gets angry again, don't mirror his behaviour. You're on the right side, you don't want to be turning the tables by becoming angry and saying or doing things you'll regret. Just try and cut the conversation short. You can leave it at that. I think you should leave it at that. I don't know your husband or you, so I can't say what else you could do. I'm afraid to give you advice that would harm your relationship. If it were your brother, I'd say to ignore him until he stops ignoring your feelings and recognises them. 

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It is possible that he may be punished due to Amr Bil Ma'ruf and Nahi an al-Munkar or he might get some Ta'zir but that's very unlikely.

His punishment would be with our Lord then. Unless he repents.

Or perhaps it is Shaytan that has gotten into your head that has got you to become this jealous?

It is quite possible that these are simply negative thoughts.

Quote

O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it. And fear Allah ; indeed, Allah is Accepting of repentance and Merciful.

{49:12}

Edited by The Batman
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36 minutes ago, yusur317 said:

He should do something out of love and respect for you, not fear. Appearance doesn't always influence attraction. Sometimes it's the way someone behaves or carries themselves. Eitherway, there'll always be someone who's more beautiful and more attractive than you, no matter what you do. You need to be comfortable with that idea. It seems to me what you lack is trust in your husband and confidence in yourself and your relationship. He may look at other women, but he will come home to you. You might even find yourself unintentionally oogling attractive men, but it doesn't mean you want to leave your husband- does it? 

 

He said you can't close your eyes? I don't understand... What does he mean? 

 

No he can't close his eyes. N secondly i never ever stare men or look at them twice. 

 

36 minutes ago, The Batman said:
36 minutes ago, The Batman said:

It is possible that he may be punished due to Amr Bil Ma'ruf or he might get put in Ta'zir but that's very unlikely.

His punishment would be with our Lord then. Unless he repents.

Or perhaps it is Shaytan that has gotten into your head that has got you to become this jealous?

It is quite possible that these are simply negative 

I am hurt not jealous . I am the only one who deserves his love and affection . This is my right.... 

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Dear sister: According to one hadith, every time a man glances away from a non-mahram woman, a hoor is desgnated for him and every time he does the opposite, he looses one hoor who was created for him. 

No of course you won't like him to loose his hoors.

You may not like this answer though, because I know women who become jealous even when their husbands mention all this hoor business. 

Another thing sister, the definition of pretty is way different for men then women. A man also by design subconsciously in continuous look out for other women. Its the way Allah swt made us, hence He ordered us to cast our gaze low and practice taqwa. 

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lolz i made him promise  not to take hoors.

Well Allah told both men and women to lower their gaze, it's not just men we women  are also like this but we control ourselves. Men always say that it is how we are made , we are polygamous in nature n blah blah...

These are just excuses. Actually problem with our men is they never appreciate their wives coz they take us for granted.

As far as definition of beauty is concerned, he was the one who chose me...

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Salam, 

good to hear you don't look at men. It's a little different for females I guess. Seems like we have better self control. Anyhow, in regards to the brother mentioning hoor, I have read something about this a while back. Hoors are not a harem of women like you'd imagine them. It's a little different. I don't quite remember what they actually are, might be worth reading into it. I just remember reading that in the hereafter we're stripped off of all animal/primitive desires. We no longer feel lust, gluttony etc. So there'd be no point of a female harem. Also, in the hereafter, the pious will remain connected with their families. The kafirs will disregard family bonds and forget their previous relationships. So you, God forbid, may not recognise your husband in the hereafter. 

 

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Sorry he is doing this , appears to enjoy it, doesn't want to stop,and seems not to want to talk it out. It is disrespectful to you and the other women. Hopefully he will come to understand this and cease of his own accord. I would still try to communicate if you intend on staying with him.

As far as punishment goes, around here it usually comes in the form of the offending male getting used a a floor mop by the woman's husband, dad, uncles, or brothers. Sometimes all of them at once.

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9 hours ago, Zara kaxmi said:

Cause this almosts gives a heart attack when you notice your man staring some other girl who is not even prettier than you. 

so would you be okay if he was staring at someone prettier than you?

There is another and dare I say more positive way to look at it.

lets say you go out to a restaurant and have vegetarian food while everyone else around you has steak (non-halal). The steak looks really tempting but of course you dont eat it and come back home and eat some halal meat. In this case, is it sawab for not eating haram meat or sin for thinking about the haram steak?

Similarly, while your husband may stare at other women, he is coming back to you. Perhaps he looks at them and realizes what a great partner he has in you. So it is best to talk it out. Otherwise you will only get more hurt and more jealous.

Otherwise as I tell people I will tell you - 'men only need to go out to eat if there is no good food at home' :) 

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Its natural to have some sensitivity to this kind of thing and we arent supposed to do it its true, but trust me, you'd do yourself a massive favour to stop caring about your fella looking at women. It can happen before a person even realises theyre doing it and unless someone is doing it to deliberately upset their partner its best to ignore it. I remember once when my husband and i were walking down a busy shopping street in Amsterdam and this very curvy women stepped out in front of us in a skin tight, velvet cat suit. My own eyes gravitated to her behind so i knew my husbands would o.O after a moment or so i saw him turn his head away out of the corner of my eye and then he leant over to kiss my cheek and i thought 'yeah, i know what you did!', but i found it funny that he felt so bad about looking that he kissed me. If you can brush stuff like that off it will help your relationship im sure.

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50 minutes ago, shiaman14 said:

so would you be okay if he was staring at someone prettier than you?

There is another and dare I say more positive way to look at it.

lets say you go out to a restaurant and have vegetarian food while everyone else around you has steak (non-halal). The steak looks really tempting but of course you dont eat it and come back home and eat some halal meat. In this case, is it sawab for not eating haram meat or sin for thinking about the haram steak?

Similarly, while your husband may stare at other women, he is coming back to you. Perhaps he looks at them and realizes what a great partner he has in you. So it is best to talk it out. Otherwise you will only get more hurt and more jealous. 

LOL... Optimism at its finest^^  :grin:

2 hours ago, LeftCoastMom said:

As far as punishment goes, around here it usually comes in the form of the offending male getting used a a floor mop by the woman's husband, dad, uncles, or brothers. Sometimes all of them at once

What if the woman is curvy and wearing a tight red velvet cat suit?Does the man still get beaten up? :confused:  

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3 hours ago, starlight said:

LOL... Optimism at its finest^^  :grin:

What if the woman is curvy and wearing a tight red velvet cat suit?Does the man still get beaten up? :confused:  

Do men seriously get aroused by such a vulgar cliches xD? What a bad taste indeed hahah!

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6 hours ago, starlight said:

LOL... Optimism at its finest^^  :grin:

What if the woman is curvy and wearing a tight red velvet cat suit?Does the man still get beaten up? :confused:  

Lol. Probably not, but I wouldn't bet the farm on it. However, this does not seem to be that kind of situation.

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On Thursday, May 19, 2016 at 8:44 PM, The Batman said:
On Thursday, May 19, 2016 at 8:44 PM, The Batman said:
22 hours ago, shiaman14 said:

so would you be okay if he was staring at someone prettier than you?

There is another and dare I say more positive way to look at it.

lets say you go out to a restaurant and have vegetarian food while everyone else around you has steak (non-halal). The steak looks really tempting but of course you dont eat it and come back home and eat some halal meat. In this case, is it sawab for not eating haram meat or sin for thinking about the haram steak?

Similarly, while your husband may stare at other women, he is coming back to you. Perhaps he looks at them and realizes what a great partner he has in you. So it is best to talk it out. Otherwise you will only get more hurt and more jealous.

Otherwise as I tell people I will tell you - 'men only need to go out to eat if there is no good food at home' :) 

What if the situation was vice versa ? You men won't have any problem ?

Secondly, i am a muslim woman ican't dress up like these women, i can't become steak. There is a diff between wife n w**** !!  

N what you tell to people is something  very insensitive. What if i was your sister ? Would you be this calm then ? 

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13 minutes ago, Zara kaxmi said:

What if the situation was vice versa ? You men won't have any problem ?

Secondly, i am a muslim woman ican't dress up like these women, i can't become steak. There is a diff between wife n w**** !!  

N what you tell to people is something  very insensitive. What if i was your sister ? Would you be this calm then ?

Exactly same applies to men as well. I apologize if I offended you as that was not the intent. You can read this link as it says what I said but more clearly.

http://www.imamreza.net/eng/imamreza.php?id=6186

 

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I deeply understand what you are talking about. but the point is are you sure you have made all his needs provided or not? if he has no need to whatever you can do so he wont stare to other women. maybe its better for you to work on yourself and think of what you have not done to your husband. at least you wont feel guilty.   

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رُوِيَ عَنْ أَمِيرِ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ عَلِيِّ بْنِ أَبِي طَالِبٍ ( عليه السَّلام ) أنهُ قَالَ : قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ( صلى الله عليه و آله ) : " مَنْ مَلَأَ عَيْنَيْهِ مِنْ حَرَامٍ ، مَلَأَ اللَّهُ عَيْنَيْهِ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ مِنَ النَّارِ ، إِلَّا أَنْ يَتُوبَ وَ يَرْجِعَ

Narrated from the leader of believers that he said: The prophet said: Whoever filled his eyes with haram, Allah will fill his eyes with fire on the day of resurrection unless he repent and comes back.

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On 2016-05-19 at 3:32 PM, Irfani313 said:

Dear sister: According to one hadith, every time a man glances away from a non-mahram woman, a hoor is desgnated for him and every time he does the opposite, he looses one hoor who was created for him. 

Salam brother, could you please provide the source of that hadith? I told it to a friend and when he asked for the source, I came back to see it and I noticed there was none. Thank you.

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Wa alaikum salam dear brother. Don't have source. Read it some where in one of our hadith books but I never memorize the sources. Its impossible for me. Even those who give lectures prepare beforehand and memorize their sources. Use it or drop it at your peril.  

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5 years later if he still struggles with this, share this hadith with him to encourage him to do better, although you may not like what's written :verryhappy:

“One who glances at a woman, but instantly looks away at the sky or turns his gaze down; before he could remove his gaze fully, Allah marries him to a black-eyed houri and he creates such a freshness of belief in his heart that he is extremely delighted."

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