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In the Name of God بسم الله

Dealing with traitorous family members.

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I don't wish to go into too much details, my extended family are bunch of thieves and bad people, they made my mothers live hell, and now are trying to do the same with my dad. My family has cut off communication with them, however there will be a time when I need to confront them about there behaviour towards my family for many many years and there thieving of my fathers money, there lying etc. What would be the best way to approach this.?

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I think it depends to depth of calamities. If they are going to continue their bad conduct with you and your family even after reasonable and kind discussions, and after reconciliation if elders does not work, you can pursue your rights through legal system of your country.


With Duas.



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Dear brother,

First, some people in this world seem to be created only to be a test for others, and hence cause the others to gain hasanat in this world on thier behalf.

Second, Dhulm (oppression) which is on local level or on grander scale is unacceptable for a momin and we are duty bound to do something about it.

Third, Allah swt hates qata-raham meaning cutting off relations with blood relatives. So even if there are some who are total Yazeed, you will need to remain in touch in case they get in trouble on right account and you could help.

Fourth, Allah swt also likes the momin, in fact it is one of the basic conditions of a momin, that a momin loves for the sake of Allah and hates for the sake of Allah swt. So if you brother is Yazeed and your enemy is a momin, you should side with momin as opposed to Yazeed.

Fifth, there is a case of Fasiq. Fasiq is a person who openly goes against the halal of Allah and does not obey the haram of Allah swt. This is a person with whom Islam allows all kinds of ties cut wether this person is your brother, husband, or son.

Sixth, parents are a special case, who should be obeyed in their silly demands as well as be tolerated in their foolish things; yes they are not infallible so they can be wrong too. Nut even parents must not be obeyed if they order you against the halal and haram of Allah swt.

Seventh, there is a case of wife obeying of husbands which is also extremely important in Islam. But even in this, wife must disobey husband if he orders against the halal and haram of Allah swt.

Eighth, is the case of a child who is disobeying to you. If he or she goes against Allah swt, love for Allah must be kept supreme than anything. 


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  • 2 weeks later...
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@Lookingforlight this obviously still bothers you. I don't think you should have this conversation with your family while this emotional. Sometimes we remain silent to make more of a statement to our oppressor. Gandhi learned patience from Imam Hussain  as. The oppression they experienced was much worse than what we deal with. 

On a side note,  your family has decided not to communicate with these people and I think you should respect their wishes. This is a parental issue. We as children should not forget our manners and respect our parents' decisions. 

Good luck and remember to have sabr.

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