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Hussein_Valerio

I want to stop with this very bad sin.

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Asalamu aleykum my brothers and sisters

I want to ask help for this bad problem? I feel me very ashamed about this ASTAGHFIRULLAH and i want to finally leave it:cry:! Its a sin which follows me since my childhood and its masturbation. Maybe some will be shocked and I also read in a Hadiths that mastubation is a way to hell. I love Allah, the Quran and the Ahlul Bayt and i dont want to disapointed them with this, because i want also take responsibility when i want to marry a future wive, to be muslim father/husband and the masturbation destroys me physically and mentally and its need to stop. I even started to not do it for 2 weeks but it came back automatically in some pornography websites when something give me a influence like social media or even not from social media. I tried often not to use electronic things like smartphones or computer, but its impossible because i need to connect with people when its really important. I hope you can help me in some way, and please make Dua for me to stop it. :sorry:

 

Wa salam

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26 minutes ago, celestial said:

Wassalam,

There is no solution besides from patience or marriage. Consider muta if someone suitable is around you.

Salam

Some muslim people said also its possible to leave it with any solution, but why just do muta?

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Dear brother - I've written it before here on SC and I say it again, Porn and Masturbation are two things that you will not quit after marriage. So marriage is a solution to remove the burden of no sexual outlet but marriage is not a solution for the sins of soul that is porn and masturbation.

These two things, you will have to quit on your own and will need to do it now. A better method is, make a promise to Allah swt that every time you watch soft or hard porn or masturbate, you will do fast for three days straight. So say you watched porn and masturbated, immediately from next day you will have to fast for six straight days. 

Another thing I can tell you, Allah swt has made women different, their sexual satisfaction threshold is way past men's; I can guarantee you that if you won't stop this masturbation now, you will never be able to satisfy your wife sexually ever. Is this is the kind of sexual life you want in your marriage? Many men lose respect of their wives when they won't satisfy their wives or get ED, a very common disease among masturbating men. Another thing which happens among masturbating men is, the skin of their organ gets over sensitive, and lots of friction makes the skin bleeds and gets infection making them unable to sleep with their wives ever. Choice is yours to continue or stop NOW.

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9 minutes ago, Irfani313 said:

Dear brother - I've written it before here on SC and I say it again, Porn and Masturbation are two things that you will not quit after marriage. So marriage is a solution to remove the burden of no sexual outlet but marriage is not a solution for the sins of soul that is porn and masturbation.

These two things, you will have to quit on your own and will need to do it now. A better method is, make a promise to Allah swt that every time you watch soft or hard porn or masturbate, you will do fast for three days straight. So say you watched porn and masturbated, immediately from next day you will have to fast for six straight days. 

Another thing I can tell you, Allah swt has made women different, their sexual satisfaction threshold is way past men's; I can guarantee you that if you won't stop this masturbation now, you will never be able to satisfy your wife sexually ever. Is this is the kind of sexual life you want in your marriage? Many men lose respect of their wives when they won't satisfy their wives or get ED, a very common disease among masturbating men. Another thing which happens among masturbating men is, the skin of their organ gets over sensitive, and lots of friction makes the skin bleeds and gets infection making them unable to sleep with their wives ever. Choice is yours to continue or stop NOW.

Thanks for the answer Irfani313

I will try my best to fast and i think i will to repeat reading this text its really helping to have knowledge what are the problems for masturbating. But also try to understand me its something which is following me since maybe 5 years and a lot of young people have the same problem. For marriage im still young and not ready because im 18 and im not thinking about it at this age.

Wa Salam

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26 minutes ago, Hussein_Valerio said:

Thanks for the answer Irfani313

I will try my best to fast and i think i will to repeat reading this text its really helping to have knowledge what are the problems for masturbating. But also try to understand me its something which is following me since maybe 5 years and a lot of young people have the same problem. For marriage im still young and not ready because im 18 and im not thinking about it at this age.

Wa Salam

Salam brother,

Self-control is the most important thing even if you have to build up that self-control gradually it will be worth, the issue you describe is similar to the issue drug users have when they are addicted to drugs. They have to find a way to gain control over themselves.

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1 hour ago, narsis said:

  

 

 

Dear brother, I was thinking abut something: Is it also considered masterubation when a person, let's say thinks about something arousal, but as a matter of course, he then discharge.

Now, if it's not his intention to have a discharge, but rather to think about the arousal (or something like that), is it considered masterubation ?

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2 hours ago, Hussein_Valerio said:

Salam

Some muslim people said also its possible to leave it with any solution, but why just do muta?

Well, those are talking from their own hawa/nafs. Why muta? You need to fulfill your desires in a halal way. That's why.

And, about fasting...

Fasting of today's people are really different from fasting of past people.

You fast for whole day and when it's iftar time, you just make a feast with a rich dinner table. So, this doesn't help at all because after iftar arousal comes again even stronger than before.

But people of the past were different, they had a modest dinner table and didn't eat as much as we do.

Edited by celestial

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9 hours ago, Ali-F said:

Dear brother, I was thinking abut something: Is it also considered masterubation when a person, let's say thinks about something arousal, but as a matter of course, he then discharge.

Now, if it's not his intention to have a discharge, but rather to think about the arousal (or something like that), is it considered masterubation ?

To think to something that leads one to sin, is sin as a preparation for that sin. So when you realize that you are thinking to something that is arousal, you have to stop that imagination.

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5 hours ago, narsis said:

To think to something that leads one to sin, is sin as a preparation for that sin. So when you realize that you are thinking to something that is arousal, you have to stop that imagination.

Exactly, but if a person continues to do so, and he then discharge - that wouldn't be considered masterubation inself, but rather a sin where ejculation happened. Or am I wrong?

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Dear Hussein,

I'm uncertain about your age and location so a lot of what I will say will be based on some assumptions. Your sexuality is a critical part of who you are and therefore it is vital that you have good awareness of it. Only with sound knowledge of your sexuality (and your body in general) can you have a healthy sexual life.

1) There is no evidence whatsoever that masturbation in and of itself poses any risks to your well being. It's a normal part of self/sexual exploration at first and can continue to be a healthy part of your sexuality throughout your adult life. There's absolutely zero evidence to support the myth that masturbation causes erectile dysfunction. (Of course if you do masturbate without sufficient lubrication you can cause a rash, injury or infection.)

2) Anecdotal evidence from recent years, particularly since the advent of high speed Internet, indicates that many adolescents who have had access to and watched lots of pornography (particularly extreme, fetishistic etc.) have suffered from performance anxiety and/or erectile dysfunction. This should not be confused with the physical act of masturbation. It has more to do with unrealistic portrayals of human sexuality by much of the pornography in recent years and the sheer availability of vast amounts and types of pornography. There's some evidence to suggest that it can be addictive and therefore hinder the formation of healthy sexual or romantic relationships because it distorts once's perceptions of their own or their partner(s)' sexuality.

3) Exercising and/or fasting is not an antidote to masturbation. Exercise and physical activity in general is good health behaviour. It not only improves your physical health but is one of the most important contributors to better mental health and has been linked to neuroplasticity and overall improved brain function. So, in short, exercise because it's good for you, not because it's a magic bullet to fix the problem that isn't, i.e. masturbation. These outdated theories originate from puritanical currents within Christianity and have been adapted by many Muslim conservatives without an iota of evidence to support them.

4) Healthy sexual relationships aren't about "satisfying" the wife (or your sexual partner). In fact, that's a very skewed, uninformed, and outright chauvinistic perception of sex and sexuality. Sexual intimacy is as much a social/emotional need as it is a biological/physical one. It isn't about a crude satisfaction of your partner! The concept of "satisfaction" reduces sex to a crude vaginal-penile intercourse. Healthy sexual intimacy is far more than that and encompasses having good awareness of your own body and sexuality, contraception and STIs, ongoing consent, respect for yourself and your partner, and good communication.

5) The idea that certain foods cause sexual arousal is as valid as the theory that eating bananas "corrupts" women. It would be laughable if it wasn't so tragic.

I'm happy to answer any further questions if you have any.

D

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Just now, Deewan said:

There is no evidence whatsoever that masturbation in and of itself poses any risks to your well being. It's a normal part of self/sexual exploration at first and can continue to be a healthy part of your sexuality throughout your adult life.

OP and others:

Please note this above statement (and other parts of the post) are based on conjecture and personal opinion backed by the limitations of modern science. This is NOT reflective of the Islamic viewpoint, which encompasses both the physical and spiritual dimension.

Things are haram for a reason, which usually is because its harmful to humans. Sometimes we don't entirely know why (or to what extent) things can be harmful, but God knows best. I know it's difficult, its tempting, and everything else, but the only solution is to stop completely, by any (halal) means necessary. You take a step, and God will help you with the rest. That should be the only goal, and you should not settle for anything less. No matter how many times you fail, that should remain the goal. Don't compromise.

Best wishes dear brother. We're all rooting for you, and you're in our prayers.

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Conjecture: "the formation or expression of an opinion or theory without sufficient evidence for proof"

^In fact not a single point in what you've quoted is conjecture or personal opinion; and you did graciously grant that it is backed by science. Let me clarify that it is the established consensus of the medical community. Not to mention, it's backed by the same 'limited' medical science that has extended life expectancy by 20-30 years on average. And I'm assuming you are enjoying the fruits of the medical fraternity's labour by living a relatively healthy life?

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1 hour ago, Deewan said:

Conjecture: "the formation or expression of an opinion or theory without sufficient evidence for proof"

^In fact not a single point in what you've quoted is conjecture or personal opinion; and you did graciously grant that it is backed by science. Let me clarify that it is the established consensus of the medical community. Not to mention, it's backed by the same 'limited' medical science that has extended life expectancy by 20-30 years on average. And I'm assuming you are enjoying the fruits of the medical fraternity's labour by living a relatively healthy life?

All of science is conjecture, by definition. Doesn't make it good or bad, just limited in its scope and perspective. The line demarcating "sufficient evidence" has been twisted by agendas, ignorance, and personal desire since time immemorial.

It's clear the OP is discussing this from an Islamic angle. He's acknowledged its a sin, and wants help addressing a spiritual struggle manifested through a physical action. Discussing any other dimension is deviating from the topic.

Of course, you're welcome to give it, just as I'm welcome to forewarn people as I have above. If you're Muslim, you should be more careful than to normalize and speak positively about something that is clearly haram in Islam, especially with impressionable young minds here. If you don't believe its haram, start another thread, and bring your textual evidence, because that's what important to people. Adjacent scientific data only serves as a supplement, but is not the end all for people who want this religion to guide their life.

The rest of your rant about medical science is irrelevant.

Edited by magma

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If I follow your twisted and mindbogglingly narrow logic, enslaving other human beings is clearly halal given the "textual evidence"...

Sorry to burst your bubble, but you don't have a monopoly over Islam. It encompasses far more than just the closed circle of jurisprudence/fiqh/sharia whose centripetal revolutions haven't allowed the penetration of any new sciences for centuries--a closed circle that clearly can't tolerate a significant interruption of its tradition of consensus on the limited number of doubts and difficulties considered permissible to discuss.

You don't get to decide what or who is within the pale of religion. Having absolute faith in your convictions doesn't make your convictions more valid than mine or anyone else's. No text, not even the Quran, speaks for itself. It has to be interpreted by whomever reads it.

As for my advice to the kid, I'm quite simply carrying out what I believe to be my duty as a Muslim and a medical professional and dispelling absolute garbage that are the myths about the physical and medical consequences of masturbation. You're more than free to dispense your advice, but stop deluding yourself and others that your interpretation and understanding of faith is the only true one--as if the line demarcating Islam has not "been twisted by agendas, ignorance, and personal desire since time immemorial."

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Allah (swt) decides the boundaries. "scientific" and "medical professional"  rubbish in the contrary is unsolicited on a religious forum. The sin in question is counted as a Major Sin in Islam, and not only ruins one's afterlife, but their life here on earth as well. It can lead to infertility and ruins the chance for a healthy marriage among innumerous problems. I suggest that SC creates locked topics in regards to these kinds of topics, with the appropriate and trustworthy sources for anyone who is serious. To the op: if you're serious, you'll stop immediately. There's no gradual stopping, or any of that rubbish. Stop immediately. 

Surah Al Muminoon:

5. And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts)

6. Except from their wives or (the captives and slaves) that their right hands possess, for then, they are free from blame;

7. But whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors;

 

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 Salam, 

I didn't want reply here because this is in the brothers forum, but since a sister above me has made a post and I think a few things need to be cleared I decided to add a reply. I will try to keep it as short and to the point as possible.

1. Masturbation is haram.  I believe all the things that were declared haram were done so for a reason,those must be harmful for us in some way. We might or might not be aware of what the harm is but believing that all haram things are harmful is part of our faith.

2. Giving a blanket statement that masturbation leads to ED, infertility, coital problems after marriage, failure to satisfy spouse etc etc is wrong especially when there is no scientific or medical evidence to back it up.

The most common cause of impotence seen in clinical practice among 18-40 year old men is psychological (performance anxiety) which comes mostly due the preconceived notion ingrained into the mind of the youngsters by misleading elders or laymen that masturbation leads to impotence and infertility. So the cause-effect relationship is actually the other way round in this case.

Eating pork is haram, it leads to parasitic infestations, GI disordes, flare up of  a skin condition but if someone is going to come and say eating pork causes cardiac failure then as a medical professional I would like to correct him and doing so doesn't mean that I am saying pork is halal. I think this is what @Deewan  meant in his initial post.

Again, I want to say masturbation is haram,it's not healthy, it leads to harm and should be stopped immediately. 

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Masturbation comes because of free time. No busy person has ever said, "The essay can wait, time to masturbate" [my rhyme game is strong].

If you suffer from this free time disease, fill it. We have very limited time on this planet. If you constantly do dhikr you won't fall in these types of sins, or any sin.

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Is there any type of person more annoying than a smug, know-it-all doctor?

 

I'm not talking about @starlight or others; I know a lot of yall are doctors or medical students and I am not stupid enough to dismiss the whole profession. It's obviously a necessary and important line of work.

 

But these people who act like they are fountainheads of knowledge, and then lacking any sort of self-awareness in denouncing the fuqaha when they themselves are the caricature they try to paint of the fuqaha.

 

Just 50 years ago, doctors were appearing in cigarette ads. I would have to have the memory span of a goldfish to buy into something simply because the "medical consensus" says it's alright.

 

It's like that one dude said: science as a method of attaining knowledge is at odds with science as an entrenched ideology. The latter is complete unacademic, unenlightened, dogmatic and so on; and ironically, while claiming to be academic, enlightened, and free from dogma it suppresses the former! Hence: someone says that masturbation is harmful and the conclusion drawn is that he is denouncing all of medical knowledge! It's absurd.

 

At the end of the day, the logic of the Qur'an prevails. The logic of the Qur'an: many things which are harmful, may have certain benefits. This does not mean that they are fine or harmless, because the detriments outweigh the benefits. If my doctor tells me to drink a cup of red wine every day, I'm not doing that. We can apply this same logic to masturbation. The holistic view is that it is harmful; this does not mean that it has zero benefits. Nothing in our religion says that haraam things have zero benefits. The point is whether these benefits are enough to justify its permissibility.

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3 hours ago, baradar_jackson said:

Is there any type of person more annoying than a smug, know-it-all doctor?

Yes, a complacent know it all layman.:grin:

Edited by starlight

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4 hours ago, starlight said:

Yes, a complacent know it all layman.:grin:

 

I do not agree with the "know it all" label. Firstly, I don't give out fatawa on medical issues. Or fiqhi issues. Or any other specialized science. At worst, if I did that, I would warn people that I don't know what I'm talking about. That would make me the precise opposite of a know-it-all.

 

Complacent, hate-filled layman, maybe.

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On 2016-04-10 at 8:11 PM, Hussein_Valerio said:

Asalamu aleykum my brothers and sisters

I want to ask help for this bad problem? I feel me very ashamed about this ASTAGHFIRULLAH and i want to finally leave it:cry:! Its a sin which follows me since my childhood and its masturbation. Maybe some will be shocked and I also read in a Hadiths that mastubation is a way to hell. I love Allah, the Quran and the Ahlul Bayt and i dont want to disapointed them with this, because i want also take responsibility when i want to marry a future wive, to be muslim father/husband and the masturbation destroys me physically and mentally and its need to stop. I even started to not do it for 2 weeks but it came back automatically in some pornography websites when something give me a influence like social media or even not from social media. I tried often not to use electronic things like smartphones or computer, but its impossible because i need to connect with people when its really important. I hope you can help me in some way, and please make Dua for me to stop it. :sorry:

 

Wa salam

 

Nobody is forcing you to do this, yeah?

Nobody is actually physically forcing you to do this. Just consider that fact for a couple of minutes.

Whatever you do, whenever you do it. You chose to do it and only you can chose NOT to do it.

Self discipline is something you will need thru out you life whether you have no wife or 4 wives.

You want a good wife in the future yeah? Then you must become a good man and a good man is a man of principles and discipline.

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Salam,

Brother addicted people fall back on their addiction because of some kind of disapointment/lack in their own life. Are you socially active ? Have a job? Involved with some kind of activity outside your house on a regular basis ? Or anything that keeps you involved with other people. 

 

Or do you sit at home most of the time , being depressed, scared and bored ? Feeling inadequate ? 

Think about this. An addiction is  nothimg more but a symptom of a much deeper problem. Muta and marriage if not combined with a bigger lifestyle change and a different attitude to life wont always help overcoming an addiction.

 

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Guest Anonymous_Leo

! ! ! DO READ PLZ ! ! !

I have successfully stopped masturbating Alhamdu Lillah, and I will explain to you how anyone can stop it too.

The urge for masturbation is mainly caused as a response to stress. Masturbation releases dopamine chemical in the brain, which masks the feeling of stress. However, there are other chemicals too which reduce stress and make you feel happy. These are a group of chemicals known as endorphins, which are mainly released as a response to pain.

I firmly believe from my personal experience that endorphins can alleviate the urge to masturbate. How much they are effective for you depends on your body, but I strongly urge you to try.

Like I said, endorphins are released mainly in response to pain, so what we need here is to feel pain. By 'pain' , I do not mean the injurious type of pain, but I mean the good kind of pain, caused by activities such as intense exercise, taking a hot/cold shower, or eating spicy food.

One of the best ways I have found is to do exercises which hurt. I feel a 'high' after doing them until I can not move anymore. They release enough endorphins to completely eradicate the urge to masturbate, for the day at least.

So, why not give it a shot?

-----------------------------------------------

That was the end of my answer, however if you need some help getting started, then these are some of the exercises which can tire you out in 10-15 mins of doing them:
• Dips.
• Pistol squats.
• Pull ups.
• Body saw.
• Decline push ups.
• Dumbbell thruster.
• Dumbbell side lateral raise.

I hope this answers your question.

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