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In the Name of God بسم الله

Need to get some support for my mentality?

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  • Advanced Member

:salam:

I hope your all well, I need some advice because ive been feeling 'down' because of University and Life.

When I first went University it was great I got to know many people and I found a couple muslims which I tried to get close to, even a Shia Brother! Slowly now Iv'e found everyone give in to desires, Im trying my honest best to hold strong, Im very sociable and always have a big smile on my face, I constantly am there for those around me and makes me important to some people but I always get invited to drinking parties, clubbing, pubs, they keep telling me 'you dont have to drink'. Inside half of me says go and have fun! Your the one constantly sitting at home bored while they have fun! And the other half says no fear and remember Allah! 

My question is is there an end to this conflict? Having to constantly sit in my room and just think of what other people are doing while im just in my room either studying or relaxing? As much as I want the thoughts to go away and remember my deen, I will never fall into these sins Im very sure of myself but I feel like im empty or missing out in a sense? I dont know exactly Im hoping someone can relate to me!

Does anyone know how i can cure? Ill try anything just want to be at peace, I know Islam brings peace to peoples hearts, but to me its simply been giving me conflict up to this point and I want that to change so desperately.

Jazakallah this was more of a rant/plead for help, thanks in advance.

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30 minutes ago, HayderM said:

:salam:

.

Salam,

Even non Muslims try to resist temptation.

The higher the goal the more resistance is required. This is the golden rule for all who want to achieve something great. 

For non Muslims it is the highest thing in dunya, for Muslims it is something beyond imagination, if we really reflect on it.

This non religious point of view may help also on temptation and self control:

 

Edited by certainclarity
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  • Advanced Member

                                                                 :bismillah:

                                                                  :salam:

 

I'm pretty commonly in a conflict with myself too, it's waswasa.

You should acknowledge the fact that what your friends do is simply ugly and no more, never overthink, if you feel empty then you're not trying to love Allah (swt). You shouldn't only be fearing, love Him or atleast keep trying to until you succeed. Can't you have fun in voluntary salah? It should be the most enjoyable part of your day.

When you're in your room you should keep on pushing yourself to do salah/dua/read the Quran even if it won't happen during that period then make sure that the pressure you've exerted on your will is going to affect you next time you're relaxing and you won't be lazy. Not sure if this made sense but it's what I've done atleast.

Salam.

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56 minutes ago, HayderM said:

:salam:

I hope your all well, I need some advice because ive been feeling 'down' because of University and Life.

When I first went University it was great I got to know many people and I found a couple muslims which I tried to get close to, even a Shia Brother! Slowly now Iv'e found everyone give in to desires, Im trying my honest best to hold strong, Im very sociable and always have a big smile on my face, I constantly am there for those around me and makes me important to some people but I always get invited to drinking parties, clubbing, pubs, they keep telling me 'you dont have to drink'. Inside half of me says go and have fun! Your the one constantly sitting at home bored while they have fun! And the other half says no fear and remember Allah! 

My question is is there an end to this conflict? Having to constantly sit in my room and just think of what other people are doing while im just in my room either studying or relaxing? As much as I want the thoughts to go away and remember my deen, I will never fall into these sins Im very sure of myself but I feel like im empty or missing out in a sense? I dont know exactly Im hoping someone can relate to me!

Does anyone know how i can cure? Ill try anything just want to be at peace, I know Islam brings peace to peoples hearts, but to me its simply been giving me conflict up to this point and I want that to change so desperately.

Jazakallah this was more of a rant/plead for help, thanks in advance.

bismillah.gif.9209c0166e7b424bdd62d1475d

ws2.png.1f5ea66189f225d9b10beb699b3923e9

With the grace of Almighty I am doing fine and hope you are as well. Don't give up and be strong. Shayton will always tempt us to do bad things and is misguiding us from the right path. Do not rely on anyone specially Muslims except Allah who created you. By hanging out around people who drink in front of you, will eventually becomes normal and you might even be tempted to start drinking. Don't sell your hereafter at the cost of this short life, that's what Shayton wants you to do, Shaton comes in all shapes, sizes and forms.  If you have a lot of free time you can go to a nursing home and visit those elderly  people whom their own kids have abandoned them. I don't know where you live but if you are in Southern California let me know please.

 

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1 hour ago, Ali Hamieh said:

                                                                 :bismillah:

                                                                  :salam:

 

I'm pretty commonly in a conflict with myself too, it's waswasa.

You should acknowledge the fact that what your friends do is simply ugly and no more, never overthink, if you feel empty then you're not trying to love Allah (swt). You shouldn't only be fearing, love Him or atleast keep trying to until you succeed. Can't you have fun in voluntary salah? It should be the most enjoyable part of your day.

When you're in your room you should keep on pushing yourself to do salah/dua/read the Quran even if it won't happen during that period then make sure that the pressure you've exerted on your will is going to affect you next time you're relaxing and you won't be lazy. Not sure if this made sense but it's what I've done atleast.

Salam.

Salam brother thank you for the advice ill try to get closer to Allah swt just praying for me honestly isn't something i find pleasure in what ill try to do is look at Tafsir of Ayat because i enjoy that and also try learning farsi!

1 hour ago, 12reasons4truth. said:

bismillah.gif.9209c0166e7b424bdd62d1475d

ws2.png.1f5ea66189f225d9b10beb699b3923e9

With the grace of Almighty I am doing fine and hope you are as well. Don't give up and be strong. Shayton will always tempt us to do bad things and is misguiding us from the right path. Do not rely on anyone specially Muslims except Allah who created you. By hanging out around people who drink in front of you, will eventually becomes normal and you might even be tempted to start drinking. Don't sell your hereafter at the cost of this short life, that's what Shayton wants you to do, Shaton comes in all shapes, sizes and forms.  If you have a lot of free time you can go to a nursing home and visit those elderly  people whom their own kids have abandoned them. I don't know where you live but if you are in Southern California let me know please.

 

Salam thanks alot for the reassurance i guess there is no easy way out i began like you said seeing sins as ' not that bad ' and islam is 'overreacting' i caught myself and realised that they have influenced my thoughts and tried backing away i guess the purpose of the post was to just get it off my chest in glad i did jazakallah for the advice i wont give up or give in life is finite i want the infinite :)

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  • Advanced Member

W/s

I have a somewhat similar problem. There are hardly any Muslims in my degree programme (Ancient History), or Asians for that matter (btw what's with Asian ppl and always doing something sciency - it's always engineering or medicine-related :confused:). There's an AhlulBayt society whose gatherings/events I don't attend to due to study, so I always return home from lectures and do just revision and watch anime all day - this is more or less my life, although I'm pretty content with it. 

Perhaps you could find some other form of entertainment to occupy yourself with. Maybe focus on physical fitness and go to the gym more regularly as a way to to build self-confidence. Or make some personal goals in your study to make you feel good. You said you met a Shia dude, why not hang around with him? Video games are good distractions as well. I'm not encouraging you to become a geeky introvert who only steps outside once a week, but these are just some thoughts.

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40 minutes ago, Young Lion said:

Just find a female to engage in Mutah with to occupy your time so you can tell those people you got better things to do then clubbing

bismillah.gif.eae3e3ae9984e97c843d183347

very bad advice!

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3 hours ago, HayderM said:

Salam brother thank you for the advice ill try to get closer to Allah swt just praying for me honestly isn't something i find pleasure in what ill try to do is look at Tafsir of Ayat because i enjoy that and also try learning farsi!

Salam thanks alot for the reassurance i guess there is no easy way out i began like you said seeing sins as ' not that bad ' and islam is 'overreacting' i caught myself and realised that they have influenced my thoughts and tried backing away i guess the purpose of the post was to just get it off my chest in glad i did jazakallah for the advice i wont give up or give in life is finite i want the infinite :)

Hand on there brother, when Shayton puts the pressure on you, just remember the lives of our Imams a.s., how tough they had it, By Allah religion has been handed to us by  golden platter, we have it so easy. Just remember what our Holy Imams and their whole families had to go through for us to get this golden platter, and you will never do wrong things again INSHALLAH. All Shias of Ali a.s have a hidden middle name, which is STRONG, that's why we are STRONG!

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9 hours ago, HayderM said:

Salam brother thank you for the advice ill try to get closer to Allah swt just praying for me honestly isn't something i find pleasure in what ill try to do is look at Tafsir of Ayat because i enjoy that and also try learning farsi!

I personally enjoy the nights, there's no one that can bother you and you would feel safer. You should try to pray in the nights even if you're tired as it'll even affect you more. Try and understand the ayats on your own then seek for a tafsir.

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  • Advanced Member

Everything has a price brother.

 

The Messenger of Allah (s.w.a.) has said: “The best of your youth are those who resemble your old people[1] and the worst of your old people are those who resemble your young people.” [2]

The Messenger of Allah (s.w.a.) has said: “Surely Allah, The High, boasts to the Angels in regards to the young person who is a servant (of His) and He says, ‘Look towards my servant! He has refrained from following his lowly desires for My sake alone.’”[3]

The Messenger of Allah (s.w.a.) has said: “The greatness of the worshipper of Allah who is a youth and who worships Allah while in the stage of his youth over the old person who worships [Allah] after he has become of old age is like the greatness of the deputed ones [the Prophets and Messengers] over all other creations.”[4]

The Messenger of Allah (s.w.a.) has said: “There is not a single young person who turns away from the transient world and its pleasures only for the [pleasure] of Allah and spends his youth in the obedience of Allah until he reaches to old age, except that Allah would grant him the reward of seventy-two truthful [and righteous] people.”[5]

The Messenger of Allah (s.w.a.) has said: “Surely the most beloved of the creations to Allah, the Noble and Grand, is the youth who is young in age and who is a very handsome/beautiful individual however he places his youth and his beauty in Allah and in His obedience alone. This is the thing for which the Most Merciful [Al-Raḥmān] boasts to His Angels about and says, ‘This is truly my servant.’”[6]

The Messenger of Allah (s.w.a.) has said: “Surely Allah loves that young person who spends his youth in the obedience of Allah, the Most High.”[7]

 

[1] Ibid., Ḥadīth 5764

[3] Ibid., Ḥadīth 43057

[4] Kanzul `Ummāl, Ḥadīth 43059

[5] Makārimul Akhlāq, Volume 2, Page 373

[6] Kanzul `Ummāl, Ḥadīth 43103

[7] Kanzul `Ummāl, Ḥadīth 43060

 

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On 06/04/2016 at 2:40 AM, HayderM said:

:salam:

I hope your all well, I need some advice because ive been feeling 'down' because of University and Life.

When I first went University it was great I got to know many people and I found a couple muslims which I tried to get close to, even a Shia Brother! Slowly now Iv'e found everyone give in to desires, Im trying my honest best to hold strong, Im very sociable and always have a big smile on my face, I constantly am there for those around me and makes me important to some people but I always get invited to drinking parties, clubbing, pubs, they keep telling me 'you dont have to drink'. Inside half of me says go and have fun! Your the one constantly sitting at home bored while they have fun! And the other half says no fear and remember Allah! 

My question is is there an end to this conflict? Having to constantly sit in my room and just think of what other people are doing while im just in my room either studying or relaxing? As much as I want the thoughts to go away and remember my deen, I will never fall into these sins Im very sure of myself but I feel like im empty or missing out in a sense? I dont know exactly Im hoping someone can relate to me!

Does anyone know how i can cure? Ill try anything just want to be at peace, I know Islam brings peace to peoples hearts, but to me its simply been giving me conflict up to this point and I want that to change so desperately.

Jazakallah this was more of a rant/plead for help, thanks in advance.

just pray to Allah and read quran and sunnah books 

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  • 9 months later...
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Salaam, I just want to put a reminder out there for myself first, and for anyone else this may benefit. May Allah(SWT) keep us safe from the whispers of shaytaan and our own nafs, as these whispers have the potential to slowly errode our willpower down to nothing. It is a slippery slope once taken, and it usually starts by us minimizing the situation, such as, "I will only go this one time, and I wont drink", which then makes it easier to go the next time. Same thing starts with drinking- "I will just have a non alcoholic drink, after all, its not REALLY alcoholic." And the next time, we make the choice to have a .5% alcoholic drink because its ONLY .5%." Sooner or later, there is no resistance regarding drinking left, and even though we may know its Islamically impermissable, we have already made it "easy" upon ourselves.  When we reach  this point and find ourselves nder the influence of alcohol, our personal inhibitions are now lowered and our ability to say no to other harams is at its weakest. This is when serious life  mistakes are most likely to be made. How many people have had haram encounters due to their thinking being compromised by alcohol or drugs?  Waking up the next day full of guilt and remorse from whatever our previous nights activities were, or, even worse, coming to find out our health is now permanently compromised, or that we are now responsible for bringing a new life into this world, and under such circumstances:(  

All of our actions have an effect on our souls, either in the way of our spiritual purification and progression , or our spiritual regression. 

This is why Allah has warned us in the Quran:

“They question thee about strong drink and games of chance. Say: In both is great sin, and (some) utility for men; but the sin of them is greater than their usefulness. And they ask thee what they ought to  spend. Say: that which is superfluous. Thus Allah maketh plain to you (His) revelations, that haply ye may reflect.” 

Also,

" And do not approach unlawful intercourse. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way"

He has told us not to even approach them, because our Maker knows how we will respond if we even get CLOSE to these environments, that our ability to refrain from such acts will slowly fade away, and we will therefore succumb to the whisperings and justifications of our nafs.

 

May Allah(SWT) protect and guide us all-

 

 

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When I feel that I am not doing enough, I find something to focus on and achieve. It is said that Music, is the language which is everywhere for all life, and is of the creator. Perhaps you could learn a new talent such as music? There is always something to do if the mind must be constant.

 

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