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Why are good hearted people so rare?

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When I'm out and about or at work why are there so few people that are truly sincere, kind, heart of gold, genuine type characters out there? At work there's very few maybe not even one person that I can say has his/her true face out but rather is putting on an act to stay on everybody's good side.Fake face and smile on. Office politics and brown nosing being done. Almost everybody I meet they have some type of personality mask disguising their true character and putting on a front to seem happy inside, stable etc but in reality it's far from the truth. 

Very occasionally on the street in passing i'll meet a good person, other than that it's at the mosque and that too is very very few brothers...But those brothers are so genuine and warm I know these people have the noble character.

Socrates said good character is a gift from God. Is this the case?

Is noble character truly a gift from Allah? If it is, which I believe to be the case because a noble character is in line with wisdom, and we all know the Quran says wisdom is a gift, then what type of people does Allah decide to bless with this gift? Why does Allah bless certain people with more wisdom, genuinness, self awareness

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Perhaps it's the company you keep or the culture at your workplace. I don't have many friends (offline) but all the people I chose to surround myself with are genuine, caring, kind, and compassionate. Not all my friends are rich, educated, socially adept, or refined, but all are good people. 

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It is said in a hadith half of intelligence is love of people.  Often the most judgmental people are the most unappreciative towards people. And it said in a hadith those most appreciative person towards God, are most appreciative towards people.

You got to even appreciate yourself.

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by StrugglingForTheLight

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10 hours ago, Young Lion said:

When I'm out and about or at work why are there so few people that are truly sincere, kind, heart of gold, genuine type characters out there? At work there's very few maybe not even one person that I can say has his/her true face out but rather is putting on an act to stay on everybody's good side.Fake face and smile on. Office politics and brown nosing being done. Almost everybody I meet they have some type of personality mask disguising their true character and putting on a front to seem happy inside, stable etc but in reality it's far from the truth. 

Very occasionally on the street in passing i'll meet a good person, other than that it's at the mosque and that too is very very few brothers...But those brothers are so genuine and warm I know these people have the noble character.

Socrates said good character is a gift from God. Is this the case?

Is noble character truly a gift from Allah? If it is, which I believe to be the case because a noble character is in line with wisdom, and we all know the Quran says wisdom is a gift, then what type of people does Allah decide to bless with this gift? Why does Allah bless certain people with more wisdom, genuinness, self awareness

Salam aleikum,

Personally, I believe that Allah (swt) puts goodness and wisdom into every human being and the reason why some people have better characters or better wisdom than others is all to do with free will. I think I'm a bit like you to be honest because it confuses me why people would choose to be cold rather than kind, I mean doesn't it take more effort being mean to someone than to just be civil? It could just be the fact that Dunya has a negative effect on some people which makes them selfish, they see that they have to look after themselves and that's it, nobody else matters. Its a sad reality. And when you find someone so friendly and considerate, they really do stand out.  

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On April 5, 2016 at 7:05 AM, zainabamy said:

I think I'm a bit like you to be honest because it confuses me why people would choose to be cold rather than kind, I mean doesn't it take more effort being mean to someone than to just be civil? 

Unfortunately, we live in a world where if you're too kind and nice you get taken advantage of easily. Hence, people over time build up walls. Kindness is often seen as a weakness. I don't know why we've created such a world for ourselves.  

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oftentimes I wonder about the same question you've asked us. Unfortunately in today's world, doing nice gets you the opposite in return. So most people've just decided to be mean instead. That's all.

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15 hours ago, Livia said:

Unfortunately in today's world, doing nice gets you the opposite in return

In Pashto, there's a saying "Don't do good, bad won't happen to you". If you never did a good thing to someone, it won't be as bad if they do something bad to you because you weren't expecting them to be nice to you.

Of course, I'm not a big fan of this saying even if it is true. 

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 The current system that most of us live in is set up, or slanted to favor the rude, ruthless, cold hearted people who will give up their morals to get some material benefit. Other people see this happening and then try to imitate those people hoping they will get the same benefits. It's as simple as that. 

The good hearted people are those who are not willing to give up their morals and ethics in order to get material benefits. But it takes a person with strong will and strong beliefs in order to resist the temptations and content themselves with little in terms of material things. And people with strong will and strong belief (in Allah) who are willing to give up most of the material life in order to please Allah(s.w.a) are few, and I think they have always been few. 

 

Edited by Abu Hadi

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On 4/5/2016 at 8:28 PM, Young Lion said:

When I'm out and about or at work why are there so few people that are truly sincere, kind, heart of gold, genuine type characters out there?

Salam Young Lion,

(Your screenname reminds me of my husband, because he loves lions. :) A lion is his symbol.... he looks sorta like a lion too, cause he has long wild black hair that looks like a mane.)

Anyways,

To your question, the why depends on a number of factors. Definitely there are good-hearted people in the world, but oftentimes they are not the ones being seen the most.

 

Quote

At work there's very few maybe not even one person that I can say has his/her true face out but rather is putting on an act to stay on everybody's good side.Fake face and smile on. Office politics and brown nosing being done. Almost everybody I meet they have some type of personality mask disguising their true character and putting on a front to seem happy inside, stable etc but in reality it's far from the truth. 

Out of curiosity, how do they view you? Do they believe you are a warm, good-hearted person who sincerely cares for them?

Quote

Very occasionally on the street in passing i'll meet a good person, other than that it's at the mosque and that too is very very few brothers...But those brothers are so genuine and warm I know these people have the noble character.

Are the people you are working with your brothers in Islam too?

Quote

Socrates said good character is a gift from God. Is this the case?

 

Yes.

Quote

Is noble character truly a gift from Allah? If it is, which I believe to be the case because a noble character is in line with wisdom, and we all know the Quran says wisdom is a gift, then what type of people does Allah decide to bless with this gift? Why does Allah bless certain people with more wisdom, genuinness, self awareness

God gives people the ability to gain wisdom. People do have to seek wisdom though. This is why King Solomon, the 3rd King of Israel, advised people about wisdom of the LORD: (I boldened some.)

The proverbs of Solomon the son of David, king of Israel;

To know wisdom and instruction; to comprehend the words of understanding;

To receive the discipline of wisdom, justice, and right, and equity; To give prudence to the simple, to the young man knowledge and discretion;

That the wise man may hear, and increase in learning, and the man of understanding may attain unto wise counsels;

To understand a proverb, and a figure; the words of the wise, and their dark sayings.

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; but the foolish despise wisdom and discipline" - Proverbs 1:1-7

http://www.mechon-mamre.org/p/pt/pt2801.htm

Jesus Christ says this about a wise man:

“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.

But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”

When Jesus had finished saying these things, the crowds were amazed at his teaching, because he taught as one who had authority, and not as their teachers of the law.

- Matthew 7:24-29 (NIV)

God gives people the choice to be wise or not. While He already knows who will be and who won't, He gives wisdom to those who seek fear Him and seek His wisdom.

God's wisdom makes people goodhearted.

Peace and God bless you

 

 

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In my opinion there are more than a single answer to your question. Good hearted people are rare because everyone have different stories, a different past, a different family that grew him up.. different values dear sister. Some people at a certain point of their lives decide to invest in their health ( both physical and spiritual ) because they realize that our life on Earth is just a path.. an adventure. Our final destination is God, the essence. To reach our final destination, the perfection, we must go through a process that involve the change of our attitude, extinguish all our vices and cravings ( at least strive hard to accomplish this ). Beign good and caring is part of that process. Unfortunately not everyone choose to follow that kind of path. So that's why the world is not always fair dear sister. Be patient, be fair and be kind.. just ignore the words of ignorant people :) Barakallahu Fik

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People don't show how they truly are because they feel they will be rejected if the others know how they are. There is a famous film maker that said that if we all show how we truly are inside, or say blatantly what we think, we all would be alone. 

For example, there are several people that inside are racists, but if they found with someone that belong to the race they don't like, they would be hypocrites, because they don't want problems, problems that would come if they were sincere. Another example is that in a tv serie of cooking in spain, a child (a participant) said blatantly that he thought women were better for cooking or for mopping the floor, of course I found the comment offensive, and many people did, the boy was punished for saying that tv on live, and my mom said to me: "you see, look what happen if you say what you truly think". 

Some people smile but inside are sad, and they do it because society push people to smile all the time, then even if people don't like to smile they have to do it. 

And some people is mean, because as mattia said, they have been mistreated in life or passing through difficult moments, it doesn't mean that good people hadn't ever suffered, (as some people think and for that reason they're mean with good people) you could be a person that has suffered so much and still being good, but the things are different and people react to suffering different. There are people who kill their bullies, (it was a case in usa, a guy killed several women because in high school women bullied him) and others just get over it.

I had a friend which a whole classroom made fun of her, and she had to seek a counselor and she was medicated, and pass several years until she could barely recovered and now she's not the same either. It happened the same to me and I didn't seek any treatment. There are people who are raped and their relatives  are killed in front of them (this happened in my country), and they decided to forgive and keep with  their lives.

And finally, God doesn't give to all people the same gift, God blesses people with different gifts, maybe one person is good at playing chess (spacial intelligence) and others are good for learning languages, others are noble and others have good resilicence, etc... Why God did decide this? I don't know

 

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You might want to look up Kohlberg's theory of moral reasoning development.

Contrary to most of these comments, I think that most people are kind-hearted and abide by the golden rule unless I have been living in a rock for most of my life. 

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There are many people who don't appreciate kindness. They think it's a weakness and they only give respect to people who are mean to them. I even heard a woman say on tv: I only like people who intimidate me. 

I see a lot of men being cruel to their wives, and whenever I try to help those women,I always get attacked in return. These women tell me 'this is between me and my husband, why are you trying to create problems between me and my husband'. Now, I just defend them once and I tell them' I have done my duty, since you don't want my help, I will not be held responsible for not helping you'. Good for me, I am glad I don't have to do anything. I don't like to get involved in dramas the kinky people create in their lives. 

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I have same issue as the OP. I think this is because I am quite warm and expected it from others. Now I try to mind my own business.

 

I have low self esteem in some ways, and i read such people try to make up for it by pleasing others - being smiley etc. Maybe they dont apprecate this?

 

Another source i go from for wisdom - tuhaf ul uqool -  is a quote along the lines of "the deeds of these are lost: ...(and...) those who do not have intellect to deal with the people in a well mannerd way..."

 

and another "What is worse that this? (a bad predicament mentioned)... it is that you hate the people and the people hate you."

 

Another line of reasong is from quran, it is said iirc that Iblis will mislead most people - so some anti sociality may be destined (qadr) - and theres another quote I remember - contentment is riches. And the best jihad it to anticipate the great relief.

 

Another source says try to associate with the believers, and its also mentioned you ought to try to be with the people of forbearance... if you cant do it in the RW, then you can compare yourself with them because you tent to become alike those you compare yourself to.

 

I think if youre putting your trust in a world which is passing away too much, that youre liable to being cheated by it. Now I try to find sakina in zikr and not expose myself to risk, as a stock broker would say.

 

Edited by Luqman72

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On 4/4/2016 at 6:28 PM, Young Lion said:

When I'm out and about or at work why are there so few people that are truly sincere, kind, heart of gold, genuine type characters out there? At work there's very few maybe not even one person that I can say has his/her true face out but rather is putting on an act to stay on everybody's good side.Fake face and smile on. Office politics and brown nosing being done. Almost everybody I meet they have some type of personality mask disguising their true character and putting on a front to seem happy inside, stable etc but in reality it's far from the truth. 

Very occasionally on the street in passing i'll meet a good person, other than that it's at the mosque and that too is very very few brothers...But those brothers are so genuine and warm I know these people have the noble character.

Socrates said good character is a gift from God. Is this the case?

Is noble character truly a gift from Allah? If it is, which I believe to be the case because a noble character is in line with wisdom, and we all know the Quran says wisdom is a gift, then what type of people does Allah decide to bless with this gift? Why does Allah bless certain people with more wisdom, genuinness, self awareness

If you live in the West, you have it a lot better than most people in the world in this regard.

From my personal experiences, I can say that people living in poorer countries are much less likely to be sincerely polite (perhaps due to force of circumstance). You can even see this just by looking at the languages of different regions. Very few contain as many commonly used phrases of 'thanks' (for example) as English. It seems to me that people in tougher circumstances are more likely to be personally harsh, and also more likely to put on an aura of niceness when there is some benefit in it for them, than most people in the west. You go to some place in the sub-continent where almost every person who meets you nicely (especially if you're a foreigner) does so with some ulterior motive or with the hope that they can squeeze some benefit out of you. Sometimes it really seems like the entire populations of some countries are pathological liars.

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