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In the Name of God بسم الله

Advice needed actually

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Assalam o alikum sisters,

I have a problem that is difficult to handle for me, actually I am studying in a university with co-education system. We prefer to take skype and fb video lectures and attend live sessions instead of regularly attending the university. so we all classmates discuss our assignments and projects via facebook.etc and our teachers also join us. You can say its a kind of distance learning.

Now there is a boy in my class, who asked me that he wants to be my brother(I never met him face to face, have a contact with him on fb), i thought there isn't anything wrong in calling someone "brother" as i am used to call everyone in my class "brother". after that he started messaging me most frequently even without any important thing to be discussed and i felt that he praises my every single word and work. but I always felt strange with this relation as he already have five sisters, why he pretends that he cannot live without texting me. But as he is my class fellow so I didn't take these things seriously.

Well, now after 6 months with this brother-sister relation, he asks me that as I have become his sister so there isn't any need to hide myself in front of him.(I always cover myself and with male classmates or while attending live sessions, I prefer to cover my face too (to avoid any awkward situation), But he says he wants to see my picture without hijab. (I am not in the favor of sending my picture to any non-mahram even when I am wearing hijab). I don't understand how to refuse him ?

I refused him in a decent manner, but he says "you don't have any need to hide yourself in front of me as i am your brother", I said "you know, you are not my actual brother" and he starts arguments with me that I am too rigid when it comes to follow Islamic rules and I don't know how to respect others and how to compromise and that he is my brother and I am not following his orders, we must cut-off and we must not be in contact with one another anymore. 

The problem is that I don't want to create a strange atmosphere in my classroom and I am also afraid to make anyone mad at me for some reason. Have I done anything wrong, or would it be wrong to end this relation and contact also ? What must I do now ?

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:salam:

I agree with sister Zainab. Best is to cut off contact with him - a guy who wants to see you without your hijab is bad news. And really, if Muslims call each other "brother" or "sister" it is meant more in a spiritual sense than really being brother and sister. And a na-mahram stays a na-mahram no matter how platonic the relationship might be.

"...I don't know how to respect others and how to compromise and that he is my brother and I am not following his orders..." - Sorry to say this, but is the guy somewhat delusional? He, clearly, does not respect you otherwise, he wouldn't have asked to see you without your hijab let alone persisted even after your refusal. So, what respect is he even talking about? And you two don't have any relationship, he is a na-mahram and he cannot order you around. Don't let him intimidate you and don't worry about the class or what others might be thinking about this. Remember: The One whom you have to please is Allah. Trust in Him.

Ma`asalama.

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Forgive me, I don't know the guy, but from how you've described the situation, to me he sounds like an underhanded, devious creep. What right does he had to 'order' you around?  Nobody has any right to 'order' you around except Allah and his messenger (pbuhahf) and even they would not be ordering you around.  Do you know any 'brothers' you can talk to to have a word with him to tell him to back off?  If he knows that others are aware of his behaviour that should be enough to embarrass him into leaving you alone and he hopefully won't dare re-offending or doing the same to someone else.  It's when you suffer in silence that people like this continue their bad behaviour.

Edited by Yasmin P
typo
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I agree, No one have any right to order me except Allah and his messenger pbuhahf along with his blessed family. No one have any idea about his behavior, even he behaves like a stranger in front of other class mates, during the live session or group chat

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This is a good example of when you should not worry about a persons feelings....The guy's a freakin freak and you're worried about awkwardness?

Protect yourself sister, cut off all ties with him and say that you don't talk to non mahram. The way he's using the "brother" thing is quite literally a joke.

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3 hours ago, DigitalUmmah said:
5 hours ago, zahra kazmi said:

Well, now after 6 months with this brother-sister relation

oh Muslims, what are your lifes?
you invent your sisters,
then make them your wifes

Oh Goodness :confused:

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You don't have to take a certain special boy to become a 'brother' so you can talk freely. If someone becomes so special that I have to constantly talk and see them on skype then that person is most certainly not a brother. 

Women love to be praised and most men know that. Avoid men who constantly flatter you for no good reason. He's either very attracted to you or wants to attract you to him. It's best to avoid such distraction especially when you are pursuing your education.

Edited by Gypsy
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