is only daughter obliged to offer his late father remaining prayers.

[layla mah khan]

Asalam o alikum

My father passed away on 21 Feb 2016, he offered his prayers mostly regularly but not strictly. I am his only daughter, is it must on me to offer his remaining prayers?

Even if they not and I want to than how to know how much should I offer for him. If I don't know how many of his prayers are left.?

Once I already posted in a post here about the difficult situation I am in marital life.physical abuse and harassment etc. If my husband now asked me to leave my mother alone than should I?  I have no siblings.

I am currently doing a gazetted post job, my father did so much effort in making me independent. If my in laws or husband forces me to abaondon every thing then what I should do? 

Lastly my dad injury doesn't make any logical sense. I asked some good pious men to do istikhara all of them said its black magic ....

Is there any amal r wazifa that I can do to get some guidance that who did this. Can I see the person in my dreams. 

In istikhara it came that some one from my in laws family did this. 

Plz help me

I am Alone.......

 

Edited February 29, 2016 by layla mah khan
spelling mistake

[Azim Hussain]

21 minutes ago, layla mah khan said:

Asalam o alikum

My father passed away on 21 Feb 2016, he offered his prayers mostly regularly but not strictly. I am his only daughter, is it must on me to offer his remaining prayers?

Even if they not and I want to than how to know how much should I offer for him. If I don't know how many of his prayers are left.?

Once I already posted in a post here about the difficult situation I am in marital life.physical abuse and harassment etc. If my husband now asked me to leave my mother alone than should I?  I have no siblings.

I am currently doing a gazetted post job, my father did so much effort in making me independent. If my in laws or husband forces me to abaondon every thing then what I should do? 

Lastly my dad injury doesn't make any logical sense. I asked some good pious men to do istikhara all of them said its black magic ....

Is there any amal r wazifa that I can do to get some guidance that who did this. Can I see the person in my dreams. 

In istikhara it came that some one from my in laws family did this. 

Plz help me

I am Alone.......

 

inalillahi wainailaihi rojiun

i will pray for your father inshallah he'll be blessed with heaven and meet the prophets and ahlulbaith

stay strong everything will become fine ,have faith in god!!!!

[layla mah khan]

Please reply to my questions

32 minutes ago, Azim Hussain said:

inalillahi wainailaihi rojiun

i will pray for your father inshallah he'll be blessed with heaven and meet the prophets and ahlulbaith

stay strong everything will become fine ,have faith in god!!!!

Thnku

Mola bless u 

Ameen

[SoliderofAllah_]

56 minutes ago, layla mah khan said:

Asalam o alikum

My father passed away on 21 Feb 2016, he offered his prayers mostly regularly but not strictly. I am his only daughter, is it must on me to offer his remaining prayers?

Even if they not and I want to than how to know how much should I offer for him. If I don't know how many of his prayers are left.?

Once I already posted in a post here about the difficult situation I am in marital life.physical abuse and harassment etc. If my husband now asked me to leave my mother alone than should I?  I have no siblings.

I am currently doing a gazetted post job, my father did so much effort in making me independent. If my in laws or husband forces me to abaondon every thing then what I should do? 

Lastly my dad injury doesn't make any logical sense. I asked some good pious men to do istikhara all of them said its black magic ....

Is there any amal r wazifa that I can do to get some guidance that who did this. Can I see the person in my dreams. 

In istikhara it came that some one from my in laws family did this. 

Plz help me

I am Alone.......

 

( Bismillah) 

As Salam U Alai Kum Wa Rahmatullah Hi Wa Barakatuhu

 

I pray ths message reaches you in the best of health.

 

Inna Lillah Hi Wa Inna Ilaihi Raji'oon.

 

May Allah swt shower your father with mercy. To answer your first question, it is fard upon you to pray the prayers your father missed.Just offer as much prayers as you can.  As for your husband, i suggest you call the police because physically and mentally abusing a woman is totally unacceptable.  Ask Allah swt and he will answer your dua, In Sha Allah. 

 

To answer your final question,  i dont know abt Amal r Wazifa. Now, if Allah swt wills, u may see ur dad in your dreams.

 

Now dear sister, You are NOT alone. Remember dear sister in Islam, Allah SWT  is watching and he knows your trouble and problems.

Hope this helped.

Salam

 

[zainabamy]

1 hour ago, layla mah khan said:

Once I already posted in a post here about the difficult situation I am in marital life.physical abuse and harassment etc. If my husband now asked me to leave my mother alone than should I?  I have no siblings.

I am currently doing a gazetted post job, my father did so much effort in making me independent. If my in laws or husband forces me to abaondon every thing then what I should do? 

Salam sister,

May Allah (swt) grant your father the highest place in Jannah,

Dear sister, you should not stay in a marriage where you are facing abuse and harassment. It is completely against the teachings of Islam and you shouldn't have to deal with it. A husband is supposed to treat his wife with kindness and vice versa - never should he ever raise a hand to you. Furthermore, I would strongly suggest you don't leave your mother - what right has he to say you should turn your back on your own mother? The woman who brought you up and had mercy on you when you were small.

And the same with your job, you have a right to employment, don't let your husband and in laws tell you otherwise. Khadija (sa) was a successful business woman, and the Prophet (sawa) never told her to quit.

Please consider what I have said sister. You really shouldn't stay in a relationship like this. There is no shame in walking away.

 

[Akbar673]

6 hours ago, layla mah khan said:

My father passed away on 21 Feb 2016

Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un

إِنَّا للهِ وَإِنَّـا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعونَ

6 hours ago, layla mah khan said:

he offered his prayers mostly regularly but not strictly. I am his only daughter, is it must on me to offer his remaining prayers?

As his child, it is upon you to have his missing prayers completed. You do not have to do the prayers yourself, you can pay someone to complete them in your Father's name.

6 hours ago, layla mah khan said:

Once I already posted in a post here about the difficult situation I am in marital life.physical abuse and harassment etc. If my husband now asked me to leave my mother alone than should I?

That's terrible to hear. No woman should be subjected to that sort of treatment. 

If your husband asks you to abandon your Mother then he is making an unreasonable request upon you. I would tell you to leave him but I'm not sure what part of the world you live in. Its much easier for a woman to leave her husband and survive in the West than it is in the East.

6 hours ago, layla mah khan said:

I am currently doing a gazetted post job, my father did so much effort in making me independent. If my in laws or husband forces me to abandon every thing then what I should do?

You have to make the determination about whether you want to stay with your husband or not first before you make this decision. Once you decide upon which step you wish to take then this decision will become more clear. Personally, in my opinion if you leave your husband then you should continue with this career.

6 hours ago, layla mah khan said:

Lastly my dad injury doesn't make any logical sense. I asked some good pious men to do istikhara all of them said its black magic ....

What were the details of your Father's injury ?

6 hours ago, layla mah khan said:

 

In istikhara it came that some one from my in laws family did this. 

I've never heard of an Istikhara providing details like this. How did you come across this info?

[Semiramis]

7 hours ago, layla mah khan said:

Once I already posted in a post here about the difficult situation I am in marital life.physical abuse and harassment etc. If my husband now asked me to leave my mother alone than should I?  I have no siblings.

 

 

salam sister

No, u shouldn't , someone who should be left is him not your mother . Where do u live? Can u survive on your own?

[12reasons4truth.]

Walaykum salam Wa Rahmatullah Wa Barakato.

In the name of God, the All Knowing, the All Seeing!

Dear sister, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! God is with you and watching you and protecting you 24/7. First of all, I am not a scholar, just giving you some facts of life. Death is in the hands of Almighty God only, nobody else. Black magic can not KILL anyone! Black magic do exist, but only God allows it to let it work or not, if God is letting is to take its effect, Maybe God is telling us to change our way of life.. for example, come to the right path, when you come to the right path( love for the Ahle Bait, on time prayers, give sadaqa, clean your heart, get rid of jealousy, help those who are in need of help without asking for it, stand with the oppressed against oppressors) black magic will never work. Ask yourself, why did your father make you become independent?? There was a good reason for it.  Islam condemns physical abuse, an abusive Muslim husband is not a Muslim, one can not claim to be a Muslim just by words, he has to show it by his actions and deeds as well!  A mother is the most important part of our  lives, no matter what we do for them, we can not pay them back for what they did for us, carrying a baby in her womb for 9 months, waking up at 3 oclock  in the morning to change diapers and feed her baby. I don't want to tell you anything but ask yourself, is you husband who physically abuse you worth losing the mother who gave birth to you and feed you at 3 oclock in the morning?? Who raised you, will you let her go and live on her own in her old age for an physically abusive man?? As for your fathers prayers, know that every time you start a new Surah of the Holy Quran, it starts with " In the name of God, Thee MOST KIND AND THEE MOST MERCIFUL. You don't know how many time he missed his prayers, I wouldn't worry about his missed prayers, just do dua to Almighty God to have mercy on him and forgive him, and pray a few Suras on Friday for him. You can always ask the Creator who created you with a clean and sincere heart any question you may have,  he is the Best listener and the Perfect Judge, and always answers!

May Almighty God, the Just, the One solves all of your problems INSHALLAH!

[layla mah khan]

17 hours ago, Azim Hussain said:

inalillahi wainailaihi rojiun

i will pray for your father inshallah he'll be blessed with heaven and meet the prophets and ahlulbaith

stay strong everything will become fine ,have faith in god!!!!

Please reply to my questions

17 hours ago, Azim Hussain said:

inalillahi wainailaihi rojiun

i will pray for your father inshallah he'll be blessed with heaven and meet the prophets and ahlulbaith

stay strong everything will become fine ,have faith in god!!!!

Thnku

Mola bless u 

Ameen

[layla mah khan]

10 hours ago, Semiramis said:

salam sister

No, u shouldn't , someone who should be left is him not your mother . Where do u live? Can u survive on your own?

Pakistan. 

Yes I can manage if my husband don't force me to abandon my job for his house chores.

I do job in a different city. And my husband lives with his parents in another city where he has job. 2 hours ride between both cities. He has his own car. 

He never supported me financially before or after baby. And before and after my job. 

Just because of the social stigma attchd with divorce women my father didn't let me apply for khula. 

My MPhil just ended. My parents and me both decided that I should apply for PhD scholarship abroad, take my baby and settle there. 

But than I stopped every thing after his accident. That happend on 11 jan 2016. He had head injury, I took him to a major city hospital where after 42 days he died right in my arms. 

I really don't know how I will now manage all this and move on and fight with my in laws for my rights and staying with my mother in future. 

I have a toddler son, the threat of him being taken away from me if I file for khula is another tension for me. 

Oh Allah I may not be capable of what You put on my shoulders.....

 

[layla mah khan]

8 hours ago, 12reasons4truth. said:

Walaykum salam Wa Rahmatullah Wa Barakato.

In the name of God, the All Knowing, the All Seeing!

Dear sister, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! God is with you and watching you and protecting you 24/7. First of all, I am not a scholar, just giving you some facts of life. Death is in the hands of Almighty God only, nobody else. Black magic can not KILL anyone! Black magic do exist, but only God allows it to let it work or not, if God is letting is to take its effect, Maybe God is telling us to change our way of life.. for example, come to the right path, when you come to the right path( love for the Ahle Bait, on time prayers, give sadaqa, clean your heart, get rid of jealousy, help those who are in need of help without asking for it, stand with the oppressed against oppressors) black magic will never work. Ask yourself, why did your father make you become independent?? There was a good reason for it.  Islam condemns physical abuse, an abusive Muslim husband is not a Muslim, one can not claim to be a Muslim just by words, he has to show it by his actions and deeds as well!  A mother is the most important part of our  lives, no matter what we do for them, we can not pay them back for what they did for us, carrying a baby in her womb for 9 months, waking up at 3 oclock  in the morning to change diapers and feed her baby. I don't want to tell you anything but ask yourself, is you husband who physically abuse you worth losing the mother who gave birth to you and feed you at 3 oclock in the morning?? Who raised you, will you let her go and live on her own in her old age for an physically abusive man?? As for your fathers prayers, know that every time you start a new Surah of the Holy Quran, it starts with " In the name of God, Thee MOST KIND AND THEE MOST MERCIFUL. You don't know how many time he missed his prayers, I wouldn't worry about his missed prayers, just do dua to Almighty God to have mercy on him and forgive him, and pray a few Suras on Friday for him. You can always ask the Creator who created you with a clean and sincere heart any question you may have,  he is the Best listener and the Perfect Judge, and always answers!

May Almighty God, the Just, the One solves all of your problems INSHALLAH!

Thanku for ur kind words and support. May Allah bless u with happinesses of world

[layla mah khan]

16 hours ago, zainabamy said:

Salam sister,

May Allah (swt) grant your father the highest place in Jannah,

Dear sister, you should not stay in a marriage where you are facing abuse and harassment. It is completely against the teachings of Islam and you shouldn't have to deal with it. A husband is supposed to treat his wife with kindness and vice versa - never should he ever raise a hand to you. Furthermore, I would strongly suggest you don't leave your mother - what right has he to say you should turn your back on your own mother? The woman who brought you up and had mercy on you when you were small.

And the same with your job, you have a right to employment, don't let your husband and in laws tell you otherwise. Khadija (sa) was a successful business woman, and the Prophet (sawa) never told her to quit.

Please consider what I have said sister. You really shouldn't stay in a relationship like this. There is no shame in walking away.

 

Mola bless u

Thanku for your kind words

He will never divorce me out of ego

I am now a days thinking to ask him to do second marriage and let me live with my mother and baby... May be he agree to that

Or perhaps I am not thinking straight ...

[12reasons4truth.]

51 minutes ago, layla mah khan said:

Thanku for ur kind words and support. May Allah bless u with happinesses of world

I am not encouraging you to divorce your husband, but you can humbly ask your abusive husband to change his ways towards you, if he doesn't do it, then give him an ultimatum to fix him or lose you, you are allowed to divorce your husband....again, I am not telling you or encourage you to divorce him. try other venues like talking to him and or seeking a marriage counselor or a Shia scholar. But as a Muslim wife, you have the right to be treated like a lady, with respect and love. Your husband may claim to be a Muslim but he acts like a devil. A mother in law is like one's own mother in Islam.  

[Chaotic Muslem]

Just leave him !

He has no rights upon you once he stops the financial support 

toss him outta window , go for a sheikh , go for a khul' and put your trust in Allah not in your society stigma

Your mother will not last long , who will remain for you then? the abusive husband? who possibly is also a drunk , drug addict or porn addict? 

If he is a drunk man, you have a simple easy case in any just court. He will even lose his guardianship upon the child. You will be free from any islamic obligations toward him.

[Semiramis]

2 hours ago, layla mah khan said:

Pakistan. 

Yes I can manage if my husband don't force me to abandon my job for his house chores.

I do job in a different city. And my husband lives with his parents in another city where he has job. 2 hours ride between both cities. He has his own car. 

He never supported me financially before or after baby. And before and after my job. 

Just because of the social stigma attchd with divorce women my father didn't let me apply for khula. 

My MPhil just ended. My parents and me both decided that I should apply for PhD scholarship abroad, take my baby and settle there. 

But than I stopped every thing after his accident. That happend on 11 jan 2016. He had head injury, I took him to a major city hospital where after 42 days he died right in my arms. 

I really don't know how I will now manage all this and move on and fight with my in laws for my rights and staying with my mother in future. 

I have a toddler son, the threat of him being taken away from me if I file for khula is another tension for me. 

Oh Allah I may not be capable of what You put on my shoulders.....

 

What a pity sis but should know Allah does not charge a soul except (with that within) its capacity  just trust him n stay hopeful . Wish u bright future ahead ... First visit with an attorney n be sure God is on your side

[Azim Hussain]

5 hours ago, layla mah khan said:

Please reply to my questions

Thnku

Mola bless u 

Ameen

if i knew the answer i surely would have , unfortunately i didnt know and i didnt want to give a wrong answer 

sorry 

[starlight]

@layla mah khan       

Salaam, 

Please accept my condolences on your father's death. I pray Allah eases things for him in the afterlife and gives you and your mother the sabr and strength to carry on without him.

The impression I got from your post is that you are trying to deal with too many things at once, which is understandable since you have been burdened with some major responsibilities. I would suggest you take things one by one. That way you won't feel overwhelmed and emotionally drained.

You have experienced the death of a parent just now besides the other ongoing situation with your husband, so it's a pretty stressful period for you.The most important thing right now is to take care of yourself, physically and emotionally. So,first thing even though all the things you mentioned above are problems that need to be dealt with please understand that none of it is urgent....... so take a deep breath.

1.Your father's Qadha prayers. Contact a reliable molana or Imam of your masjid/Imam bargah. He will most likely know some people who read the deceased person's qadha namaz and charge money for it. Please notice I used the word reliable because ideally the person who does the qadha namaz should be a good practising momin. Also get some male family member involved when settling the payment, some try to take advantage of the situation and ask for a lot of money. Usually they charge on yearly basis. The molana who does Qadha namaz for my family does it Rs.4000 for one year of namaz, but I think you might have to pay a bit more. While estimating prayers it's always better to get extra done, like if you think he missed 7 years of namaz, get 10 years done. It would be just extra Sawab.

2. Regarding your marital issues, I see no reason why your father's death should change anything. You husband has proved himself to be an abusive, zalim, irresponsible husband and father. Continue with your life as before. If your parents lived in another city getting your mother to come live with you, now that your father's passed away, might be good idea.

3. You don't have to get in a conflict with your husband or in laws over this. YOUR LIVING ARRANGEMENT SHOULD NOT CONCERN YOUR IN LAWs. Set the boundaries and don't let them step over those. If they try, a simple, 'it's none of your business' should suffice. Again I am repeating do not engage in a conflict with them over this.  As far as your husband is concerned, tell him firmly that you will continue working and taking care of your mother and child. You don't have to make him understand, you don't have to convince him. Let him come to terms with it.

4. About your future, divorce, moving abroad etc. Leave those for now. It's never to a good idea to make life changing decisions when you are under acute stress. Give yourself time to deal with your father's death, spend time with your mother, take care of her. You can think over the other options after a couple of months when both you and your mother will be in a better state of mind.

5.Whether it was black magic or not, make it a habit to recite the 4 quls every morning and night to protect yourself and your son from all evils. Have the faith that the Quls will protect you from all harm, be it magic, evil eye, wicked people or your corrupt husband. 

6. You are never alone.Always remember : Allah is closer to you than your Jugular Vein.

Edited March 1, 2016 by starlight

[layla mah khan]

On 2/29/2016 at 4:47 PM, zainabamy said:

 @starlight It's like every thing that's bad happening to me. Was taking my son to hospital and fell on rough road, got deep scratches on knee . Today his leg plaster was suppose to b open. But doc gave him a new pop for two more weeks. On way back home my purse was snatched. My parents and mine ID's and my father death certificate and atm and credit cards all were in it. . .

No words... Just no words.... Even for my self

This forum is like me having siblings..... To whom I can share 

[12reasons4truth.]

On ‎3‎/‎1‎/‎2016 at 8:21 PM, layla mah khan said:

Thanku for ur kind words and support. May Allah bless u with happinesses of world

Salam alaykum Wa Rahmatullah E Wa Barakato sister.

 

Google "a gift from Imam Hussain" listen to it over and over, then ask God to help you with all of your problems, Inshallah all of your problems will be solved. Its a short Dua from Jibraeel a.s. Just remember, Allah will not give you more burden/hardship that you can not handle. But you have to turn to Allah first, Allah says in the Quran: you have to remember Allah, Allah will remember you".  Always put your trust in Allah, Allah promises that whoever puts their trust in Allah, Allah will always be there for them! Never give up hope from Allah, never... He is all knowing, all seeing.  Someone ask Prophet Mohammad s.a.w who is closer, a mother or a father?? Mohmammad s.a.w. said, your mother. Then he said, who is closer after my mother, Prophet a.s. said, your mother, he asked for the 3rd time, Prophet a.s. said, your mother, for the 4th time he asked, prophet a.s said your father. If someone offer you the whole world to trade for your mother, keep your mother! Your mother is a piece of gift from Paradise, please keep your mother happy at any cost, I am begging you, don't leave her! May Allah give you the courage and strength to support your mother INSHALAH. 

[layla mah khan]

May Allah bless u all in life. Ameen.

I move back to my job city with my mother and baby. And my in laws and husband silent treatments already started. They were fine when i was in my home city at my home for dad funerals and other religious rituals although cold. I manged evrtything myself alone financially. 

But now they just not responding to mine or my mother calls and messages and i have no idea whats on their minds. 

Feels like i am walking on eggshells

 

[starlight]

Why are you calling them? Don't.

[layla mah khan]

On 3/6/2016 at 5:50 PM, starlight said:

Why are you calling them? Don't.

Just to stay in touch with them. 

But now we stop calling them. Lets see what issue they make now. 

Can i live seperatly in a house that is legally on my name (my father transfer his house on my name before dying)  in same city where my in laws live. Or is it compulsion on me to live at his house with his parents in such conditions where i or my mother will have no respect. And possible harassments and abuse chances in future if we live together.

[12reasons4truth.]

On ‎3‎/‎6‎/‎2016 at 7:04 AM, layla mah khan said:

Just to stay in touch with them. 

But now we stop calling them. Lets see what issue they make now. 

Can i live seperatly in a house that is legally on my name (my father transfer his house on my name before dying)  in same city where my in laws live. Or is it compulsion on me to live at his house with his parents in such conditions where i or my mother will have no respect. And possible harassments and abuse chances in future if we live together.

Hope you are well and living with your mother still INSHALLAH. Just checking up and see how are things going with you. I hope, INSHALLAH that everything is ok with you and your mother and your husband. I pray to Allah s.a.w to solve all of your problems sister and live in peace with all of your family members INSHALLAH.

[allsayyidsareahlulbayt!]

asa,

 

it is not wajib on a female as per the vast majority of hadith/marja to make qada of parents. it is mustahab. you must however take the cost of hiring someone to offer them out of the free 1/3 of his estate.

[layla mah khan]

On 3/29/2016 at 4:19 PM, 12reasons4truth. said:

Hope you are well and living with your mother still INSHALLAH. Just checking up and see how are things going with you. I hope, INSHALLAH that everything is ok with you and your mother and your husband. I pray to Allah s.a.w to solve all of your problems sister and live in peace with all of your family members INSHALLAH.

Walaikum asalam

Yes i am living with my motherand Sons in my job City but I did go to my home City for my father's chehlum. 

my husband did not come on the chehlum of my father. now he's putting the worst kind of blame things on me and accusing me that I took the abortion and I that he has some kind of proof. There is no such thing of this sort instead i was very ill for two months nd my gynecologist prescribed me misoprotol for two weeks. Thing is now it has come to the playing blame games. And he wants me to be the dirty one in there and then the people will think that he's innocent and I'm the bad one. 

may be its his long term planning of child custody case. 

Things are very worst on my end. May Allah help me with strength. 

Plz remember me in prayers.

 

 

[starlight]

How is your son now?

And don't worry about Child custody. I assure you he can not and will not take away the child  

[layla mah khan]

On 3/29/2016 at 4:19 PM, 12reasons4truth. said:

22 hours ago, starlight said:

How is your son now?

And don't worry about Child custody. I assure you he can not and will not take away the child  

MashAllah he is good now. He runs around all day at home.

But my test reports came and doc said i have stomach ulcer. 

I guess 6 years of chronic stress does that to you...

May Allah give me strength to deal with all this

....

 

 

[starlight]

Sis Layla, look how far you have come in these six years, look at progress you made, you got a degree and a good job, you learnt to stand up for yourself, you have been taking care of your parents and son.

Imagine for a moment how life would have been had you still been living with your husband. Surely, there is much to be thankful for

[layla mah khan]

On 4/17/2016 at 1:07 PM, starlight said:

Sis Layla, look how far you have come in these six years, look at progress you made, you got a degree and a good job, you learnt to stand up for yourself, you have been taking care of your parents and son.

Imagine for a moment how life would have been had you still been living with your husband. Surely, there is much to be thankful for

On 4/17/2016 at 1:07 PM, starlight said:

Sis Layla, look how far you have come in these six years, look at progress you made, you got a degree and a good job, you learnt to stand up for yourself, you have been taking care of your parents and son.

Imagine for a moment how life would have been had you still been living with your husband. Surely, there is much to be thankful for

.He had done second marriage now. I think soon he sent me divorce too. 

And i am suffering from PTSD cuz of dad

And now panic attacks and anxiety too

 

 

[layla mah khan]

Well today is his wedding night with his second wife

Truly feeling like my heart will brust any moment just now....

I offer all salat and prayers with full devotion and still m suffering so much