My friend does not want to be Muslim any longer

[Jafar moh]

Salam brothers and sisters,

I am in bit of a conflict. I have a very close friend who I've known since childhood that seems to be seriously doubting the validity of religion and Islam. We were both raised as Muslims and both our families are Muslims but he seems to have a different mindset. I cannot call him ignorant or wrong because these are his opinions and I must respect them even if he does not respect me sometimes when I try to explain to him, but alas I seem to be getting nowhere. 

So in spite of my possible lack of knowledge, is there anything I can say or show him that could help him think in a different perspective?  He is the type of person who doesn't look at both arguments and is sort of rude but I need some help in talking to him. Again he was raised on the Muslim faith but he now is seriously considering leaving Islam and I want to help him as much as possible. 

thank you 

[Abu-Jafar Herz]

Do you think it may be a phase?

[Jafar moh]

No I noticed this a couple years ago. He is at the age of 18 and I don't believe he knows how to actually pray (believe it or not is father is a sayed) and his father is a respected man which confuses me as to why he does not help his son himself. he always questioned the quran and does not believe that it's a book that hasn't been changed (he believes it could be augmented) and only recently did he comply to me and asked me if I would mind if he left Islam.

[narsis]

Bismillah.

Salaam.

I think the best way is to find a knowledgeable local scholar in your area and have some meetings with him.

With Duas.

Narsis.

[billy090]

Salam. Brother if he is your friend and asking you about leaving Islam, ask him the reasons to not believing in Islam. What events in his life lead him to believe so? By examining his life closely you might come up with something that is bugging him, maybe. Another thing you could do is ask him about the alternative?? Don't feed him the thoughts, let him reach there himself. Ask him to think about this world, its creation, role of religion and most importantly Allah. Last of all, be a good muslim yourself, to guide him practically, and pray to Allah swt to guide him in his life.

[neverforgotten313]

This is when what happens when we take people on face value 

but sometimes what is manifested on the outside does not reflect the inside which is quiet the opposite 

people have many dark scary skeletons in their closets , and until this person does not sort it it, there is not much you can do to help 

his very problem could be in the fact that his dad is a "respected sayyed"

[Abu-Jafar Herz]

No matter what you do he will not change if he is not willing to change. Nor can you make him "willing," only he can do that. This is what our Imams [as] have basically said, if Allah wishes to guide a person it is because of that person's state of heart, which is an internal decision that he makes which may or may not manifest into reality. This is why we see people who were bad all their life become guided and people who were Muslims all their life go into apostasy.

[Chaotic Muslem]

3 hours ago, billy090 said:

Salam. Brother if he is your friend and asking you about leaving Islam, ask him the reasons to not believing in Islam. What events in his life lead him to believe so? By examining his life closely you might come up with something that is bugging him, maybe. Another thing you could do is ask him about the alternative?? Don't feed him the thoughts, let him reach there himself. Ask him to think about this world, its creation, role of religion and most importantly Allah. Last of all, be a good muslim yourself, to guide him practically, and pray to Allah swt to guide him in his life.

I  think Billy is correct. I think your friend is asking you to help him not to leave Islam, or not to leave his side once he announces his change. 

I think the best way to go is to educate yourself now and build stronger faith. It is better for you and for him to have one of you who knows what the religion is actually about. Maybe then your convo will be deeper , more fruitful and possibly stop hm from leaving islam.

[fatemah kareema]

W/Salam..

If your friend is confused or doubting the validity of religion itself, then maybe he doesn't even know the meaning of what he's doing... He's only born as a muslim but never seek to acquire knowledge to understand what his religion is all about.

Naturally, if he's interested in the reality about the need for religion, he would make some research on his own....but if he's not interested, i dont think you can convince him to stay in the religion... The problem with people is that, they'll always believe what they want to believe no matter how hard you try to convince them.

But anyway, dont give up. Just try to encourage him to make some research about the religion. Do your best & leave the rest to God.

Allah knows best on how to handle this matter so keep praying for your friend, for guidance. Jazakallah

[Ali Hamieh]

Tell him about the scientific miracles of the Quran and show him this:

If he continues to deny then his fate is sealed, if he shows a small sign of faith then it can be fixed.

[Bakir]

Be exemplary yourself, that's the best and probably the unique real influence you can be to him. And when he wants to debate, be ready amd have the proper tools and studies if you genuinely want to help him.

Also, humans are humans and pass through many different phases in their lives. Judging yputh by their religion is not the wisest move. Most of the times it is just a cry for freedom, and when they are satisfied, their thinking process will be more coherent. That doesn't necessarily mean he will return to religion, of course.

[sakura1994]

you don't guide who you love , but Allah guide whom he want . 

your friend maybe haven't even been muslim from the start , they might have just been going along with what they been brought up into , and that's the case of many born muslims , they just go with what their parents teach them for the sake of it and they don't have any faith of what they belief in .

if he doubt the existence of god then show him this ... 

if he have doubt in religion itself then show him this .. 

if he just want to leave all that to live life with out rule and do what he want then that's just running from the reality that this life wouldn't be the end , their is after life and in that after life he gonna be asked about this life , what he spend his time doing , did he do god or just lived by his desire .

 

also a personal advice to you , don't stress yourself with this , when someone is drown you gotta safe yourself first , remember no one is safe and you don't know maybe you will fail into that too ... I myself am struggling right now doubting islam and religion and god existence every moment and I am not joking I even became atheist once and couldn't even dare to enter the masjid , it was very stressing to me and I was afraid and doubting myself , but I came back to islam allhamdullah . 

[Jafar moh]

thank you everybody for your thoughts. I guess it is possible that if he is not willing to open his heart to change then it is inevitable,  and having this dogmatism will lead him to nothing. I will continue to educate myself and only if Allah wills I can show him reasons to stay in Islam,

salam