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In the Name of God بسم الله

Porn is slowly ending my life

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I wise man once told me that there are two types of people: the living, and the dead; The living being the thinkers and the dead ones who do not. I have been and want to always be a faithful Shia. Although because of a problem I have been mislead into unsecure path of misfortune and dread, and feel as though I am slowly dying. The first few times I had masturbated with/without pornography had been an accident , but now I am showered with sexual thoughts every second that passes by. Living in North America also makes matters a lot worse as they promote masturbation and have partial dressed woman everywhere (maximizing my lust level). 

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"The most ignorant are those who trip over the same stone" - Imam Ali

 

 I feel that I have tripped over the same stone so many times, making false promises and continuing to masturbate to porn I am losing faith. Truthfully there have been more than a thousand times I have watched porn and/ or masturbated and now I'm starting to question my fate, I beginning to get feelings in my mind saying why can't I just have sex like kafir's  ( or "normal people" ).  I am aware as a single 14 year old that even dating is strictly forbidden but it is in my information the best way express your  feelings . I not asking for anything really sexual , just maybe a hug and kiss could help. I for one had broken a heart following this rule ( following Allah's rule) there must be some exercise some Dua that can wipe this total feeling from the brain. That girl had been the only non-mahram person who had actually cared for me. She was beyond beautiful , intelligent and loving . After realizing that haram in it and knowing the consequence if my parents figured out , I had  decided to shut her out of my life . Even after a whole year I regret the decision. It had not only put my self esteem down ( making me feel like I have no chance to get a girl) it made me want to watch porn. Knowing that if I couldn't get a girl I can share the sexual experience by watching porn. Now every single time I am free, I am either watching porn or resisting the urge to. I have tried asking for forgivness trying tips , doing duas but nothing seems to work, As go right back to watching. The most i have gone without watching was one month but then right after i had watched every day for two weeks .  Everynight i feel sick dry and barren and hate myself wanting to do better , but it is hopeless when I do the same thing again.

   I know i have said a lot , but thank Allah that I'd been given the oppurunity to express my feelings. I know this might be a not be a group question , but I'm sure it is a matter that concerns others. I want to be on the right path of the ahlulbayth again and be able to permenately remove my urges.   

        

 

Edited by Syed Asad Raza
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1 hour ago, Syed Asad Raza said:

I am sorry for the length but pleassse help me.

You have the shaytanic loop inside your head: "You are going to miss something". Same sham as with the Tree in the Garden.

Personally, I always thought dresses were sexier. Some girls "make the dress", others, "the dress makes the girl". But that was back when. Now its business suits for women and such because the dress now are really 'flash-drab'. It either time, it either looks 'good' or it does not.

Other than that, as we said in the Army: "They (girls) are all alike.  If you don't like the face, put a bag over it."

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2 hours ago, Syed Asad Raza said:

I wise man once told me that there are two types of people: the living, and the dead; The living being the thinkers and the dead ones who do not. I have been and want to always be a faithful Shia. Although because of a problem I have been mislead into unsecure path of misfortune and dread, and feel as though I am slowly dying. The first few times I had masturbated with/without pornography had been an accident , but now I am showered with sexual thoughts every second that passes by. Living in North America also makes matters a lot worse as they promote masturbation and have partial dressed woman everywhere (maximizing my lust level). 

 I feel that I have tripped over the same stone so many times, making false promises and continuing to masturbate to porn I am losing faith. Truthfully there have been more than a thousand times I have watched porn and/ or masturbated and now I'm starting to question my fate, I beginning to get feelings in my mind saying why can't I just have sex like kafir's  ( or "normal people" ).  I am aware as a single 14 year old that even dating is strictly forbidden but it is in my information the best way express your  feelings . I not asking for anything really sexual , just maybe a hug and kiss could help. I for one had broken a heart following this rule ( following Allah's rule) there must be some exercise some Dua that can wipe this total feeling from the brain. That girl had been the only non-mahram person who had actually cared for me. She was beyond beautiful , intelligent and loving . After realizing that haram in it and knowing the consequence if my parents figured out , I had  decided to shut her out of my life . Even after a whole year I regret the decision. It had not only put my self esteem down ( making me feel like I have no chance to get a girl) it made me want to watch porn. Knowing that if I couldn't get a girl I can share the sexual experience by watching porn. Now every single time I am free, I am either watching porn or resisting the urge to. I have tried asking for forgivness trying tips , doing duas but nothing seems to work, As go right back to watching. The most i have gone without watching was one month but then right after i had watched every day for two weeks .  Everynight i feel sick dry and barren and hate myself wanting to do better , but it is hopeless when I do the same thing again.

   I know i have said a lot , but thank Allah that I'd been given the oppurunity to express my feelings. I know this might be a not be a group question , but I'm sure it is a matter that concerns others. I want to be on the right path of the ahlulbayth again and be able to permenately remove my urges.   

        

 

You have to realize that to deal with this problem it is not about doing anything about it but abstaining from it

Unfortunately your at that horrible age when your hormones are working a lot more powerful then your brain , and you need to develop the ability to fight your urges so that your mind overcomes your body , and not your mind subservient to your body, however this doesnt take 1 week to do or even 1 month, it takes months and maybe even years to get complete control of yourself (unless you get married or get a mutah relationship)

I will give you the advice that the Prophet gave when it comes to overcoming bad habits and even evil sins 

Somebody asked the Prophet about an evil he was committing, i think it might have been alcohol if i remember correctly but it could have been anything and the same thing applies

The Prophet said "When getting rid of a bad habit do it gradually, less and less each time until you completely overcome it"

So i say to you to do the same thing , if you have this problem where you do it weekly or daily, then minimize it with the intention of completely overcoming it 

Make a plan, say you will only do it once a week or once a month depending on how bad of a hold it has on you 

However reading from what you wrote you seem to have other issues as well, i.e this love for this girl 

My advice is go find her , do a muta relationship with her, because it is better to do muta then to sin 

One final thing 

this might seem like it is belittling the sin, but in the end let me ask you a question, if you did this evil action every day would it take anything away from God? it wouldnt do any harm to God , there is far worse evil deeds going on in the world , so dont freak out and think its the end of the world because you do it

However it does do you harm, very big harm , so for THAT reason you should stop doing it as well as to please God 

SO make a plan to stop this evil action ,seek a lot of forgiveness and cry to God for help and if your intention is pure and sincere , God will help you 

SO chill out, you got nothing to freak out about, at some point or another every guy and even women experimented with this evil deed when they were young and weak, probably many of the people here also did and might still be dealing with it , so stop feeling like your the only one doing this , everyone has done this evil at some point in their life or another , that the learning curve of life 

Dont put your life on a stand still because of this , because that will do you even more harm , get on with your life, but plan to remove that evil 

Edited by neverforgotten313
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Wow you're pretty young. Not sure what to say, but well, just shut it out gradually - don't expect yourself to stop in a day. Have realistic expectations and work hard to achieve them. 

That, and well, good luck. 

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9 hours ago, neverforgotten313 said:

this might seem like it is belittling the sin, but in the end let me ask you a question, if you did this evil action every day would it take anything away from God? it wouldnt do any harm to God , there is far worse evil deeds going on in the world , so dont freak out and think its the end of the world because you do it

"Considering a minor sin to be minor, is itself a Greater sin. No sin is to be considered insignificant and trivial."  http://www.al-islam.org/greater-sins-volume-1-ayatullah-sayyid-abdul-husayn-dastghaib-shirazi/greater-sins-and-smaller-sins#persist-lesser-sins-equivalent-committing-greater-sin

I'd rather say a thought like that might cause you a greater harm....

If you commit a sin, just have it in mind that someday, you'll definitely see the consequences of such sin....And these consequences would be unbearable. And on that day, no human would come to your rescue... Its just you, alone in your grave... reaping what you sow. Similarly, If you do a good deed, have it in mind that a day would come when you'll be wishing you'd done more of that...due to its merits... Your good deeds would come at the perfect time to save you from destruction.

Looking into the sins of the evildoers and comparing it with your own, would never make you a better person... and of course, you wouldn't want to face a similar wrath like that of the evil doers when you die. In fact, you wouldn't even wish to experience a percentage of their punishment. So if you want to encourage yourself, stop looking at the sins of others and concentrate more on your own self... keep aspiring to be perfect and never feel discouraged that you cannot make it... yes, the requirement is much and its really difficult... but remember that the merits are worth the difficulties. And then, the best of men are those who "try" "put more effort" and never give up their dreams of becoming perfect. If you die in the process, its a success for you.

The point here is that, If you compare your sins to that of a more evil human, it would make you feel like you're a saint.... ( in comparison) which is definitely a deception of oneself. Again, if you compare your good deeds to that of the most pious men, you'll realize that you've done nothing to deserve jannah... And eventually, you'll be thinking that maybe you'll end up in hell because of your sins.... Therefore, a believer is expected to fall in between "hope" and "fear" at all times. The hope of Allah's Mercy, and the fear of Allah's punishment because Allah is the Most Merciful and Just of course,..... but YES, He does punish the culprits.... That is Justice.

 

 

 

 

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5 hours ago, Syed Asad Raza said:

Now every single time I am free, I am either watching porn or resisting the urge to.

 

This is the problem right here. Focus on doing other beneficial things. Like any other powerful addiction, this just gives you a high that you don't get in your other activities. I don't mean to sound rude, but your life is just too dull. If you focus on building on positive, healthier habits and finding joy in other things, it will be easier to defeat this. You are only 14 years old with a life full of good deeds, and healthy relationships to develop inshaAllah.

Edited by Abd az Zahra
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To the OP

Considering your age, i'd say if you don't fight this on your own, you'll have to talk to your parents about this. (you have either of the 2 choices).

"But hey, it would be so embarassing and disastrous to tell my parents... Only God knows what will happen if i do...My parents would feel disgusted, disaappointed, etc etc"

Yes, i know all that. So i suggest you fight it on your own because someday, your mom would burge into your room and catch you red handed.... what a disaster!!! I know u dont want it this way.

And hey, don't think it won't happen... Yes, it can happen. In fact, it would happen to you if you dont change. Even if you enter the toilet or lock up your room, "a 100 day is for the thief and a single day is for the owner.... Your secret would be found anytime, anywhere.

So save yourself the embarassment please....Fighting addiction is like fighting a war... but in this case, your success and failures are all in your hands. And yes, you can do this... Do what u must do to help yourself out....You don't have to destroy your phone/pc.. You dont have to get rid of the internet. All you have to do is to learn how to make wise decisions....

The internet is your gun in this case... and OMG, pulling the trigger at your own forehead is not actually a nice decision. But instead, learning how to use your weapon to defend yourself and not destroy yourself, is a wise decision. You can do better on the net. You are now on SC...:sign_welcome:

There are lots and lots of ways for you to utilize your free time...There are lots and lots of lively things to do. I tell you, 24 hours is not enough for me to finish what i want to do on the net everyday... Here on SC, you can join conversations, read stories, learn more about islam and the world around you, etc etc.... Assuming you are not on SC, you can still join productive sites out there. You can watch interesting videos on youtube (videos of Allah's mo'ojiz, videos of the man with heat resistant hands... videos of hereafter lectures...) etc etc...

I want to believe that at 14, you know at least something about death, life after death, punishment of the grave, etc etc.... And yes, they are real....people of all ages die....(babies, teens, young, adults). If possible, read books about death & hereafter to increase your focus in winning this battle. Repent, change,  and make yourself a better person for tomorrow. Always remember death... death... and death. If possible, write "death" somewhere in your room because it really helps as a reminder. It makes you want to accumulate good deeds. It makes you want to stop all sorts of sins.

You can plan your life accordingly and hold fast to prayers for Allah to help you. Allah is ever ready to accept you if you repent sincerly.. He's ever ready to help you, if you call unto Him... He wants to see how much you would do to change...He wants to see your commitment & sacrifice and He loves you... for REAL. So call unto Him with open heart my brother. InshaAllah you'll see the striking difference btw your old & new self.

May Allah protect us from Satan, the cursed one.

 

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Bismillah.

Salaam.

Masturbate or self – satisfaction that has been referred to as masturbation in religious texts, means doing something to discharge the sperm from the body. This can be done by touching your body, watching sexual scenes (pictures, movies, …) or reading sexual contents and books (stories, novels,…) or listening to sexual materials (tape, telephone conversation,…) or thinking about sexual matters in order to discharge the sperms. In either ways, this is haram and considered as cardinal sin.

The best way to avoid masturbation and self – satisfaction is legal marriage (permanently or temporarily) under special conditions stipulated in practical article. If marriage is not possible, one can use the following recommendations:

1 – Decide firmly to avoid masturbation

2 – Avoid watching any type of pictures and movies sexual in nature.

3 – Be careful when you choose your friend. Do not choose the type of people who enforce you to do this. Also, avoid making friend illegally with opposite sex.

4 – Avoid dreaming and try to make yourself busy with good things such as reading books (non-sexual ones), heavy exercise, etc. Moreover, remember that idleness can lead you to anything.

5 – If possible, try not to be alone anywhere.

6 – Fasting can be quite helpful in controlling your internal desires and strengthening your will.

If you cannot fast, do not eat a lot or at least do not over load your stomach when you want to sleep.

7 – Do not eat food items, which are sexual arousing like banana, chocolate, fig, date, onion, pepper, egg, red meat, oily foods, etc.

8 – Keep your urinary bladder empty at all times.

9 – Read some books before going to sleep at night and never sleep on your front.

Having sexual relationship with a woman other than your wife (permanent or temporary) is haram in any way. This sin has different levels and there are different punishments [1] for it for example adultery is more sinful than kissing a woman who is not intimate. However, we cannot take this as green light to commit an evil, which is less sinful.

 


[1] . In some cases this may bear religious limitations and in some other cases it bears punishment.

With Duas.

Narsis.

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Brother always remind yourself what you do is not worthy of a servant of Ali or Muhammad or Hussain or whichever Islamic figure you consider your favorite hujjat (sign) of Allah. If you disobey them, if you are not trying to be like them, then you don't love them, and thats the cold hard reality. If you love them then try to be like them, or like their servants. You can not love them or try to walk their path without knowing them. So if you are low on knowledge start gaining it before you are enveloped by your enemy who has surrounded you.

How to stop? None other than yourself can help you. Just don't sin. Its easy. Be a man. There is a thing called willpower. Use it. Its not you dying rather its your soul dying of the conflict within you, while you seek outside help which is right here in this post. Fight back. Gain knowledge of the best of all creations. Otherwise its a long fall Syed, and down there you will find no friends, love or hope.

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This thread's been on my mind all day considering the OPs age and the fact that I have 2 boys who will probably going to find themselves in similar situations. Slow and steady wins the race OP; don't take it all on yourself at once. It will take a lot of time and there will be instances where you will fall back to watching porn - but try not to take yourself on a guilt trip. Take it easy on yourself - you're young and you have a long way to go. 

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I dont mean to be promoting this, for it is not permissible. But your 14. This is when you go to "urinate in the toilet" for 10 times a day, and "stay an hour long to finish". So I dont mean that its right, but even if its wrong, everyone passed in this stage.

I think best thing is, just dont watch porn man. Because this all ruins your future sex life, dont get used to it. And try to take it easy dont lock and load everytime you think a girl looks good.

If you can try searching for Muta...many women might like be the first for lil guys...just make sure u dont take them to the police after lol

 

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8 hours ago, fatemah kareema said:

"Considering a minor sin to be minor, is itself a Greater sin. No sin is to be considered insignificant and trivial."  http://www.al-islam.org/greater-sins-volume-1-ayatullah-sayyid-abdul-husayn-dastghaib-shirazi/greater-sins-and-smaller-sins#persist-lesser-sins-equivalent-committing-greater-sin

I'd rather say a thought like that might cause you a greater harm....

If you commit a sin, just have it in mind that someday, you'll definitely see the consequences of such sin....And these consequences would be unbearable. And on that day, no human would come to your rescue... Its just you, alone in your grave... reaping what you sow. Similarly, If you do a good deed, have it in mind that a day would come when you'll be wishing you'd done more of that...due to its merits... Your good deeds would come at the perfect time to save you from destruction.

Looking into the sins of the evildoers and comparing it with your own, would never make you a better person... and of course, you wouldn't want to face a similar wrath like that of the evil doers when you die. In fact, you wouldn't even wish to experience a percentage of their punishment. So if you want to encourage yourself, stop looking at the sins of others and concentrate more on your own self... keep aspiring to be perfect and never feel discouraged that you cannot make it... yes, the requirement is much and its really difficult... but remember that the merits are worth the difficulties. And then, the best of men are those who "try" "put more effort" and never give up their dreams of becoming perfect. If you die in the process, its a success for you.

The point here is that, If you compare your sins to that of a more evil human, it would make you feel like you're a saint.... ( in comparison) which is definitely a deception of oneself. Again, if you compare your good deeds to that of the most pious men, you'll realize that you've done nothing to deserve jannah... And eventually, you'll be thinking that maybe you'll end up in hell because of your sins.... Therefore, a believer is expected to fall in between "hope" and "fear" at all times. The hope of Allah's Mercy, and the fear of Allah's punishment because Allah is the Most Merciful and Just of course,..... but YES, He does punish the culprits.... That is Justice.

 

 

 

 

Cant you see the kids life is in ruin? Would yo be happy that he gets so depressed and feels so bad about all this that his life is over? He needs help and making him feel guilty and blaming him right now is NOT helping 

I find it very hypocritical when somebody takes the higher moral plane and condescends upon a person who is in a dark and bad place at the moment in their life, and you only add more confusion and difficulty to the person an only help that person destroy their life 

Besides anyone who pretends to be all high and mighty ends up being the one with the biggest skeletons in the closet 

You sound like a very arrogant and stubborn person, and you are not sympathising or empathising with the person but taking that stand like a horrible parent who think she/he is helping but only making matters worse 

Saying to him "this is wrong , you are wrong, this is evil etc" is not going to help him alleviate this problem, it will only put MORE pressure on the person 

You need to wake up to reality and stop being such a snob , besides your a woman and dont understand a male plight about this issue , you cant just switch things off especially not at this age 

and here is another fact, no matter what you say to him now, he is going to end up doing it again, i guarantee it , he is young he is confused , he is at that age 

and the attitude your taking is going to make him even worse 

there is only two solutions here which is VERY unlikely to happen , and that is that he gets married and the other is that he finds that girl and gets with her in mutah relationship which also seems unlikely to happen 

otherwise no matter what you say to him guaranteed he will fall into his sin again 

besides i GAVE a solution, you just gave judgement 

minimize the bad habit gradually until you get rid of it, and this is the advice of the Prophet(PBUH)

Edited by neverforgotten313
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This is no doubt a really stupid post, I'm not even sure why I'm writing it, just a thought. 

Are you not sick of it? I'm not sure how much of it you watch, but by the sounds of it, you watch it a lot, but not enough for you to be tired of it. If you are going to it anyways, just do a marathon and make yourself sick of it. Pornography is used as a torture, or has been, so clearly watching an excess of it is a punishment. (I'm not really recommending this, but it's a thought)

Also some studies say that it leads to impotence, keep that in mind.

 

 

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32 minutes ago, Ali_Hussain said:

(I'm not really recommending this, but it's a thought)

Phew, otherwise I'd have been tempted to use this emoticon: :furious: .

Suggesting haram activities, even on the basis of therapy is not allowed AFAIK.

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12 hours ago, neverforgotten313 said:

Cant you see the kids life is in ruin? Would yo be happy that he gets so depressed and feels so bad about all this that his life is over? He needs help and making him feel guilty and blaming him right now is NOT helping 

I find it very hypocritical when somebody takes the higher moral plane and condescends upon a person who is in a dark and bad place at the moment in their life, and you only add more confusion and difficulty to the person an only help that person destroy their life 

Besides anyone who pretends to be all high and mighty ends up being the one with the biggest skeletons in the closet 

You sound like a very arrogant and stubborn person, and you are not sympathising or empathising with the person but taking that stand like a horrible parent who think she/he is helping but only making matters worse 

Saying to him "this is wrong , you are wrong, this is evil etc" is not going to help him alleviate this problem, it will only put MORE pressure on the person 

You need to wake up to reality and stop being such a snob , besides your a woman and dont understand a male plight about this issue , you cant just switch things off especially not at this age 

and here is another fact, no matter what you say to him now, he is going to end up doing it again, i guarantee it , he is young he is confused , he is at that age 

and the attitude your taking is going to make him even worse 

there is only two solutions here which is VERY unlikely to happen , and that is that he gets married and the other is that he finds that girl and gets with her in mutah relationship which also seems unlikely to happen 

otherwise no matter what you say to him guaranteed he will fall into his sin again 

besides i GAVE a solution, you just gave judgement 

minimize the bad habit gradually until you get rid of it, and this is the advice of the Prophet(PBUH)

Seeing your earlier post reminded me of a book i once read... I'd always thought that whatever sin i do, there are people out there who do worst sin than mine so, its not really a big deal. But when i read that book, " Ghuna e Kabira" i came across this statement that "considering a minor sin to be minor, is itself a greater sin". I read further until i finally learn that Allah (SWT) does not like people who consider their sin to be minor. This was the reason why i quoted you and added a ref so you could visit the page yourself.

I took my time to explain further on the issue of viewing one's own sins as minor. That is, the negative signal it usually gives people. I also explained the fact that a believer is expected to fall in between hope and fear... And now, you're telling me that I'm blaming him??? After all, the write up was not meant for the kid. It was meant for you, and that's why i quoted you.

I am not a saint. I am not even near to perfection... I have a lot of defects in my life. And i am too lowly to judge another person. In my own way, i wanted to motivate him to know that he can do better than that... I wanted him to fight the battle on his own cos only He, can help himself out... I wanted him to know that the internet can be used to do good too... there are lots of other sites he could use to utilize his free time and not stay idle.

I have the right to return your insults... and make you feel bad as well. But no, this was not exactly how i was raised. And besides, hurting a fellow human being would not do me any good... Its only going to make me regret afterwards. So thank you for calling me a snob arrogant and stubborn person... Though i don't deserve it, but I'll let the Almighty to judge between us.

 

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56 minutes ago, fatemah kareema said:

Seeing your earlier post reminded me of a book i once read... I'd always thought that whatever sin i do, there are people out there who do worst sin than mine so, its not really a big deal. But when i read that book, " Ghuna e Kabira" i came across this statement that "considering a minor sin to be minor, is itself a greater sin". I read further until i finally learn that Allah (SWT) does not like people who consider their sin to be minor. This was the reason why i quoted you and added a ref so you could visit the page yourself.

I took my time to explain further on the issue of viewing one's own sins as minor. That is, the negative signal it usually gives people. I also explained the fact that a believer is expected to fall in between hope and fear... And now, you're telling me that I'm blaming him??? After all, the write up was not meant for the kid. It was meant for you, and that's why i quoted you.

I am not a saint. I am not even near to perfection... I have a lot of defects in my life. And i am too lowly to judge another person. In my own way, i wanted to motivate him to know that he can do better than that... I wanted him to fight the battle on his own cos only He, can help himself out... I wanted him to know that the internet can be used to do good too... there are lots of other sites he could use to utilize his free time and not stay idle.

I have the right to return your insults... and make you feel bad as well. But no, this was not exactly how i was raised. And besides, hurting a fellow human being would not do me any good... Its only going to make me regret afterwards. So thank you for calling me a snob arrogant and stubborn person... Though i don't deserve it, but I'll let the Almighty to judge between us.

 

Why are you latching on something that is NOT the underlining message of my post?

why are you ignoring the Prophets advice how to get rid of evil action and bad habits?

you keep talking about something which is NOT the point of my post

it shows that your answer is unrealistic and your an unrealistic person 

the Prophet said "Remove bad habits gradually" so are you going to argue with the Prophet? 

you are a person lacking in understanding so your latching on and talking about something irrelevant continuously

i am responding to this person to try to help them, your responding to ME to try to win some argument that is going on in your head 

so stop responding to me because your arguments are void and irrelevant and selfish 

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One of the first things you need to do is to realize, consciously and in a mindful state, that you are ready and willing to get rid of the habit. You need to do this as often as you can, because, if you ever examine that state leading you to PMO(Porn, masturbation, orgasm), you'd realize that your mind is making justifications for it. It is in that position that you're most vulnerable. You need to have a conscious stream of thought ready that leads to a conclusion otherwise.

That's the first step. Control. Understand the battle between your conscious thought and your desires.

The second thing you need is a way to manage your time. You say you watch porn whenever you are free. The trick is to never be 'free'. Join as many clubs and societies as you can. Join a book club. Binge on television series. Anything that can capture your attention.

The most important thing you need to understand is that porn is not an option anymore. It simply isn't there. There can be no recourse to it because it's something that you simply won't do.

Also, look up 'My Brain on Porn'.

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On 2/2/2016 at 6:39 PM, Syed Asad Raza said:

 I am aware as a single 14 year old that even dating is strictly forbidden but it is in my information the best way express your  feelings .

You're only 14. Its just hormones. You'll grow out of it.

Don't you get bored of watching Porn all the time anyway? 

Go find a sport to play or hit the gym :pushup2: and burn off all that hormonal tension in you. Your biggest problem is clearly you have a lot of free time since you're always watching Porn. 

Besides, an addiction to Porn (just like any other addiction) is a sign of depression. Your brain searches for ways to find pleasure since its not finding it normally. Go pop some Anti-Depressants like bananas or chocolate and you'll be fine.

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Radicalise your computer !

Remember that search engines and essentially today almost all sites have thee cookies to track your clicks so it suggest to you your fav sites. Clean it up al of it or even re install the whole thing.  

 

MOVE OUT!

You are still young! We were doing hundreds of things by that age. We learned cooking, seweing, photography, driving car, farming, fishing, swimming, writing, painting, hell even dancing and singing ...Just move out, find your potentials, fight, jump off a cliff (just dont kill yourself) ride a horse, but a motorbike, anything .. just trash this mobile and then enjoy watching people walking like zombies sticking their faces to that little screen

Watch your grades

You dont want to end up as janitor in some street, the more you watch porn the more likely that you will end up with boring job where you will watch more porn. 

No one will respect you man.

 

If you want my advice : stop watching movies and the all new anime. They all suck, stop buying magazines and stop roaming around internet. 

Do you have any posters in your room? TAKE THEM OFF. Do you listen to music? It is haram, stop it. 

srsly just go and dip your head under water in some pool and see how much clarity you will get afterwords.

 

Edited by Haji 2003
typo
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On ‎2‎/‎2‎/‎2016 at 1:05 AM, Abd az Zahra said:

This is the problem right here. Focus on doing other beneficial things. Like any other powerful addiction, this just gives you a high that you don't get in your other activities. I don't mean to sound rude, but your life is just too dull. If you focus on building on positive, healthier habits and finding joy in other things, it will be easier to defeat this. You are only 14 years old with a life full of good deeds, and healthy relationships to develop inshaAllah.

Ill be honest, I might have overstated things here . I am a student that works hard and gains good grades as well (mid 80s to 90s) . I am trying my best to control my and have had successful attempts  ( controlling it for a week several times) . But that being said when I do control it in does not last very long and I will het horrible feelings and feel like [Edited Out],

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On ‎2‎/‎2‎/‎2016 at 1:59 AM, fatemah kareema said:

To the OP

Considering your age, i'd say if you don't fight this on your own, you'll have to talk to your parents about this. (you have either of the 2 choices).

"But hey, it would be so embarassing and disastrous to tell my parents... Only God knows what will happen if i do...My parents would feel disgusted, disaappointed, etc etc"

Yes, i know all that. So i suggest you fight it on your own because someday, your mom would burge into your room and catch you red handed.... what a disaster!!! I know u dont want it this way.

And hey, don't think it won't happen... Yes, it can happen. In fact, it would happen to you if you dont change. Even if you enter the toilet or lock up your room, "a 100 day is for the thief and a single day is for the owner.... Your secret would be found anytime, anywhere.

So save yourself the embarassment please....Fighting addiction is like fighting a war... but in this case, your success and failures are all in your hands. And yes, you can do this... Do what u must do to help yourself out....You don't have to destroy your phone/pc.. You dont have to get rid of the internet. All you have to do is to learn how to make wise decisions....

The internet is your gun in this case... and OMG, pulling the trigger at your own forehead is not actually a nice decision. But instead, learning how to use your weapon to defend yourself and not destroy yourself, is a wise decision. You can do better on the net. You are now on SC...:sign_welcome:

There are lots and lots of ways for you to utilize your free time...There are lots and lots of lively things to do. I tell you, 24 hours is not enough for me to finish what i want to do on the net everyday... Here on SC, you can join conversations, read stories, learn more about islam and the world around you, etc etc.... Assuming you are not on SC, you can still join productive sites out there. You can watch interesting videos on youtube (videos of Allah's mo'ojiz, videos of the man with heat resistant hands... videos of hereafter lectures...) etc etc...

I want to believe that at 14, you know at least something about death, life after death, punishment of the grave, etc etc.... And yes, they are real....people of all ages die....(babies, teens, young, adults). If possible, read books about death & hereafter to increase your focus in winning this battle. Repent, change,  and make yourself a better person for tomorrow. Always remember death... death... and death. If possible, write "death" somewhere in your room because it really helps as a reminder. It makes you want to accumulate good deeds. It makes you want to stop all sorts of sins.

You can plan your life accordingly and hold fast to prayers for Allah to help you. Allah is ever ready to accept you if you repent sincerly.. He's ever ready to help you, if you call unto Him... He wants to see how much you would do to change...He wants to see your commitment & sacrifice and He loves you... for REAL. So call unto Him with open heart my brother. InshaAllah you'll see the striking difference btw your old & new self.

May Allah protect us from Satan, the cursed one.

 

Yeah , as awkward as it may be I did end up telling a parent and it help for a good month or two . That parent gave me a clothe touched on karbala. So with that I made a tawis , one with both Ali written in Arabic and the 4 quls behind. That way I can see feel Allah watching doing all my acton.

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On 02/02/2016 at 7:39 PM, Syed Asad Raza said:

I wise man once told me that there are two types of people: the living, and the dead; The living being the thinkers and the dead ones who do not. I have been and want to always be a faithful Shia. Although because of a problem I have been mislead into unsecure path of misfortune and dread, and feel as though I am slowly dying. The first few times I had masturbated with/without pornography had been an accident , but now I am showered with sexual thoughts every second that passes by. Living in North America also makes matters a lot worse as they promote masturbation and have partial dressed woman everywhere (maximizing my lust level). 

 I feel that I have tripped over the same stone so many times, making false promises and continuing to masturbate to porn I am losing faith. Truthfully there have been more than a thousand times I have watched porn and/ or masturbated and now I'm starting to question my fate, I beginning to get feelings in my mind saying why can't I just have sex like kafir's  ( or "normal people" ).  I am aware as a single 14 year old that even dating is strictly forbidden but it is in my information the best way express your  feelings . I not asking for anything really sexual , just maybe a hug and kiss could help. I for one had broken a heart following this rule ( following Allah's rule) there must be some exercise some Dua that can wipe this total feeling from the brain. That girl had been the only non-mahram person who had actually cared for me. She was beyond beautiful , intelligent and loving . After realizing that haram in it and knowing the consequence if my parents figured out , I had  decided to shut her out of my life . Even after a whole year I regret the decision. It had not only put my self esteem down ( making me feel like I have no chance to get a girl) it made me want to watch porn. Knowing that if I couldn't get a girl I can share the sexual experience by watching porn. Now every single time I am free, I am either watching porn or resisting the urge to. I have tried asking for forgivness trying tips , doing duas but nothing seems to work, As go right back to watching. The most i have gone without watching was one month but then right after i had watched every day for two weeks .  Everynight i feel sick dry and barren and hate myself wanting to do better , but it is hopeless when I do the same thing again.

   I know i have said a lot , but thank Allah that I'd been given the oppurunity to express my feelings. I know this might be a not be a group question , but I'm sure it is a matter that concerns others. I want to be on the right path of the ahlulbayth again and be able to permenately remove my urges.   

        

 

 listen to the both parts in the above link ,it helped me 

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Salaam dear brother

I would advise you to follow the advice given by brother Narsis and Haji 2003- it is excellent and is sure to solve this problem. You also must realise that you have to catch your mind as soon as a bad thought comes up. As soon as you think of something lustful, divert your attention to other things which are noble. Realise that it is even sinful to have these thoughts.

It is of critical importance that you understand the importance of solving this problem. As such, you have to dedicate time to thinking about the effects of it in this world and the next. Make yourself a promise- actually, you can make an oath to God- that you will spend say 10 minutes daily thinking about the evil effects of pornography. Think about its effects in this world and the next, the punishment that God has set for those who commit this sin and the immense reward that a person is promised for refraining from it. Realise that when you watch it, you are turning yourself into a beast and though you don't realise it in this world, you will wake up to it when it is too late and there is nothing that can be done.

Remember that God's mercy is greater than any sin and he will surely forgive anybody who turns away from sin completely. If one sincerely repents, Allah will take him under his mercy and raise him among his most beloved servants. The ball is in your court- you have the choice to grant yourself eternal joy or turn yourself into a ghastly beast.

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I noticed that a great number of replies were about being able to increase your will power and keeping myself occupied . So I was wondering if there was a way to incorporate them both , along with getting myself closer to Allah. My question is are there any duas, books or  "exercise" of some sort that will occupy myself , bring me closer to the ahlullbayt and maximize my will power .  

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^No. 1..you need to be serious. Do not put yourself in a position of danger (i.e. don't watch tv, don't watch movies, don't look at magazines, don't look at billboards, don't be friends with just anyone (be picky), don't go aimlessly browsing on the net). That's the reality of the world we live in--deal with it. Lower your gaze. Even then, there's going to be images thrown at you to make you fall of the wagon by design--so, have a plan of action ready and stick with it. Watch the "Important video" in my signature. Make wudhu often. Recite Quran on a daily basis. Exercise like no other. Fast. Read and educate yourself on Ahle Bayt. There are so many excellent lectures available in English, there's no excuse not to know. Remember the tragedies that happened on Ashura on a daily basis (it' not just for Muharram). 

You can do it. 

 

Edited by Sumayyeh
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Salam brother.

There are a lot of advices. My advice is a simple one.

1.Everyone knows that Allah is omnipresent. He is seeing eveything. Then why are the muslims doing sins at such a high rate? The fact is that we just say that Allah is omnipresent and is seeing everything but we dont apply it to our life. If people start applying it then there would be a crimeless world. When you feel the urge of performing a sexual act just try and remember that Allah is watching everything. It could be done by writing it on a chart paper and pasting it on your rooms wall.

2. Luk brother shaitan and Allah, alhe baith, in short the evil and the good can't be present in one soul. The urge that you feel is nothing but the effect of shaitan to misleas you. so to remove shaitan and place Allah, alhe baith just pray regularly if possible recite ziyarat e aashura and cry, repent upon your misdeeds. Allah will definitely help you. 

3. There are people with faiths that our Imam Zamana (a.s) is not born yet. These people have no worries but in our faiths the imam (a.s) is alive and is watching us. Just think about him when you are misled. Imam (a.s.) cries by seeing the misdeeds that we do. Just think that because of your enjoyment of only some minutes our imam (a.s.) cries. What a piece of [Edited Out] are we? Just remember always that we have a rehber alive and how will we stand before him? 

At last bro just go through this video:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0Al3MTlr3oI

Always remember that Allah and imam are watching us. Hope it'll help.

 

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