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In the Name of God بسم الله
Semiramis

Remaining unmarried in Islam

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13 minutes ago, Semiramis said:

Hello to every one...

I'm just a new member n so glad to find a shia forum on the net.........Is remaining single haram in Islam???? In your eyes what would happen if a girl stays single for her whole life...

Assalam aleikum,

Marriage is a Sunnah so it is not obligatory but recommended. This isn't anything wrong with choosing to stay single though, a good example is Lady Marayam (sa) the mother of Jesus (as). 

:) 

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Bismillah.

Salaam.

Marriage primarily is Mustahab but if refraining from it leads to sin, it becomes Wājib.

Imam Reza (a.s.) told a woman who was about to reach to perfection without getting married: do not do that! If refraining from marriage possess some perfections, Lady Fatima (a.s.) was more deserving to do that to reach to perfection;

الشيخ الطوسي بِالْإِسْنَادِ إِلَى أَخِي دِعْبِلٍ عَنِ الرِّضَا ع قَالَ: إِنَّ امْرَأَةً سَأَلَتْ أَبَا جَعْفَرٍ ع فَقَالَتْ أَصْلَحَكَ اللَّهُ إِنِّي مُتَبَتِّلَةٌ فَقَالَ لَهَا وَ مَا التَّبَتُّلُ عِنْدَكِ قَالَتْ لَا أُرِيدُ التَّزْوِيجَ أَبَداً قَالَ وَ لِمَ قَالَتْ أَلْتَمِسُ فِي ذَلِكَ الْفَضْلَ فَقَالَ انْصَرِفِي فَلَوْ كَانَ فِي ذَلِكَ فَضْلٌ لَكَانَتْ فَاطِمَةُ ع أَحَقَّ بِهِ مِنْكِ إِنَّهُ لَيْسَ أَحَدٌ يَسْبِقُهَا إِلَى الْفَضْل‏.

(Bihār al-Anwār, vol.100, p.219, H.13)

And there are many many Ahādīth condemning unmarried state. If you are interested to see those let me know to translate some for you.

With Duas.

Narsis.

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45 minutes ago, narsis said:

Salaam sister.

They were some exceptions due to their special mission.

Salam, brother.

What about the daughters of Imam Musa al-Kadhim [a]? Weren't all of them unmarried? Yes, it depended on their situation and I guess, even today, it depends on certain situations whether we can get married or not. Some simply can't even if they want to.

But yes, it is a sunnah to get married and one should try to fulfill it, no denying that.

Ma`asalama.

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1 hour ago, narsis said:

Salaam sister.

They were some exceptions due to their special mission.

Salam,

As you mentioned marriage becomes, obligatory, if you feel , you will fall into sin.

This is the case mainly for men.

If a female, is not needy emotionally, financially or physically, there is no harm,in staying single.

The fact now a days people fall into more sin, when they get married, by harming their spouse,physically and/or emotionally,and it takes years for them to recover, and not only not complete half their religion but destroy even what they had safe guarded.

So unless you get proposed by a man who is God fearing, it may not be the wisest thing to do specially if you are not falling into sins by not getting married.

What is definitely obligatory for both women and men is seeking knowledge of religion according to your time and mental capacity.

If you don't you are committing a sin whether married or unmarried.

 

 

Edited by certainclarity

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Thank u all … I’m  sick n tired of being proposed by the wrong guys… my mom announced me once many years ago about the Islamic view of love, sex, marriage n mixing freely with non-mahram guys… But my sis got married to her boyfriend n she’s more successful than the others who got married to their traditional suitors which is more acceptable by Islam n traditions. Anyway nobody can ignore the importance of marriage in Islam but although I’m living in a shia  country , nobody respects Islam rules..  Unlike most Iranian girls I haven’t got lots of makeup on n while most Iranian boys are too superficial they prefer those girls. Meanwhile they r guys who r too religious n they ask their moms to find a girl for them.. In such ceremonies the self-respect of the girl can be hurt… Bcuz they’re just looking 4 a damn sexy girl for their sons n in my opinion if the girl’s appearance should be evaluated before formal proposal ceremonies the same thing should happen to the boy as well … n I hate this inequality. I really can’t tolerate marriage conditions here. It’s why I wanna remain single

Edited by Semiramis

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34 minutes ago, Semiramis said:

 

Thank u all … I’m  sick n tired of being proposed by the wrong guys… my mom announced me once many years ago about the Islamic view of love, sex, marriage n mixing freely with non-mahram guys… But my sis got married to her boyfriend n she’s more successful than the others who got married to their traditional suitors which is more acceptable by Islam n traditions. Anyway nobody can ignore the importance of marriage in Islam but although I’m living in a shia  country , nobody respects Islam rules..  Unlike most Iranian girls I haven’t got lots of makeup on n while most Iranian boys are too superficial they prefer those girls. Meanwhile they r guys who r too religious n they ask their moms to find a girl for them.. In such ceremonies the self-respect of the girl can be hurt… Bcuz they’re just looking 4 a damn sexy girl for their sons n in my opinion if the girl’s appearance should be evaluated before formal proposal ceremonies the same thing should happen to the boy as well … n I hate this inequality. I really can’t tolerate marriage conditions here. It’s why I wanna remain single

Salam,

And let those who do not find the means to get married be chaste ( 24:33)

The most important means for a proper marriage is the means of taqwa in the potential spouse, not financial status or looks, if you don't come across such means, stay chaste, until Allah enriches you out of his bounty, whether that enrichment is being content without a spouse or with a spouse.

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8 minutes ago, certainclarity said:

Salam,

And let those who do not find the means to get married be chaste ( 24:33)

The most important means for a proper marriage is the means of taqwa in the potential spouse, not financial status or looks, if you don't come across such means, stay chaste, until Allah enriches you out of his bounty, whether that enrichment is being content without a spouse or with a spouse.

salam n merci for sharing your opinion... It was a good relief :) I hate being blamed for not having spouse by people around but i really liked your guidance n it will help me to handle this situation hereinafter... 

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7 hours ago, narsis said:

 

 

الشيخ الطوسي بِالْإِسْنَادِ إِلَى أَخِي دِعْبِلٍ عَنِ الرِّضَا ع قَالَ: إِنَّ امْرَأَةً سَأَلَتْ أَبَا جَعْفَرٍ ع فَقَالَتْ أَصْلَحَكَ اللَّهُ إِنِّي مُتَبَتِّلَةٌ فَقَالَ لَهَا وَ مَا التَّبَتُّلُ عِنْدَكِ قَالَتْ لَا أُرِيدُ التَّزْوِيجَ أَبَداً قَالَ وَ لِمَ قَالَتْ أَلْتَمِسُ فِي ذَلِكَ الْفَضْلَ فَقَالَ انْصَرِفِي فَلَوْ كَانَ فِي ذَلِكَ فَضْلٌ لَكَانَتْ فَاطِمَةُ ع أَحَقَّ بِهِ مِنْكِ إِنَّهُ لَيْسَ أَحَدٌ يَسْبِقُهَا إِلَى الْفَضْل‏.

(Bihār al-Anwār, vol.100, p.219, H.13)

And there are many many Ahādīth condemning unmarried state. If you are interested to see those let me know to translate some for you.

 

TBh, After reading the narrations like these I aspired to find some one giving utmost priority to conditions that Allah(swt) wants it's servants to marry on.... 

But I have decided remain single.... Because hardly anyone follows them.

 

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5 hours ago, AvengerAfterRepentance said:

TBh, After reading the narrations like these I aspired to find some one giving utmost priority to conditions that Allah(swt) wants it's servants to marry on.... 

But I have decided remain single.... Because hardly anyone follows them.

 

Salam,

Allah's priority can be known thru, what he has made wajib on you then the mustahab.

 Seeking knowledge of religion is wajib ,  praying is wajib, fasting is wajib, character building is wajib, getting married is mustahab, unless you feel you will fall into sin.

If one is not really needy physically, emotionally , financially for a spouse, better to concentrate on the wajib, and if a good God conscious man comes and asks for you in marriage , you can do the mustahab.

Wish you all the best.

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10 hours ago, Semiramis said:

salam n merci for sharing your opinion... It was a good relief :) I hate being blamed for not having spouse by people around but i really liked your guidance n it will help me to handle this situation hereinafter... 

Salam aleikum,

To so many people marriage has become an obligatory thing to do and a sign of success. This just isn't the case. You've not failed in anyway if you're not married or don't want to. :) 

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15 hours ago, Noor al Batul said:

What about the daughters of Imam Musa al-Kadhim [a]? Weren't all of them unmarried? Yes, it depended on their situation and I guess, even today, it depends on certain situations whether we can get married or not. Some simply can't even if they want to.

This was because there were no sayeds around to marry the sayedzadis. plenty of shias though. food for thought

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8 hours ago, AvengerAfterRepentance said:

But I have decided remain single.... Because hardly anyone follows them.

I do not know if you are male or female so I will keep this generic. 

choosing to remain single is a super super bad idea. 

first of all, none of us are as good as prophets (pbut) or noble ladies like Sayyeda Fatima (SA), and yet they all married. the only exception I believe was hazrat ISA as the lineage had to end with him so the sons of ismail (as) became the fathers of the holy prophet (pbuh) and ameerul momineen (as) and as mentioned before Lady Maryum (SA)

secondly, lack of a "suitable" spouse is a death spiral. find a guy/ girl you can tolerate for the rest of your life and never stop work on your relationship together for the rest of your life. most people are good enough.

forget thinking "Mr/ Mrs perfect" or "my one true soulmate". its rubbish. many/ most of the prophets and masumeen (as) were polygamous.

its better and easier to find a stone with potential and turn it into a diamond, than to waste your whole life waiting for someone to drop a diamond in your lap. 

when it comes to peoples dirty pasts - trust no one. least of all the elder generation. they havent got a clue and have ruined our entire generations marriages by thinking times and people havent changed in 50 years. 

do your own research. hire an investigator if you need to. the world is small. if you marry blindly to someone who turns out to be a psycho in this day and age you can only blame yourself

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