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Dad wants me to get married at 18..

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Okay so as you may have guessed im under 18 (16) and my dad said there are two choices for our family, either he can get remarried (family are advising him to do this) or I become mature and can married at 18 so that i can start life early and look after my brothers and sister

Im not totally against it as i understand where he is coming from but i have a few issues. First im too young and want to enjoy life a little but i guess part of me also wants to be devout to god, second of all do you think its a good idea i havent even got an income and plan on going to uni. Third is view is 90% going to be Sunni, if she is what shall i do, is it okay? We are both followers of Allah swt and muhammed saw but i believe in our imams (as), my idea is i try to show her different views and see how see will respond. But i guess i also dont want to get married but its very good in islam if you do i guess it also stops other temptatiobs etc

 

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You can get married AND enjoy life. If you aren't enjoying your marriage, you are doing it wrong.

But don't let anyone pressure you into marrying the wrong person for any reason. It's much better to be alone than married to the wrong person. 

You can marry a Sunni, but it will be another thing to disagree over. Even if it seems alright at the beginning, there will be discord, especially if you both are devout. If your religion is important to you, you should marry someone who shares your views, especially if you will someday be raising children, God willing.

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Guess you should think about your future calmly and when the time comes, with a sound mind and a reasonable honest approach, being genuine to yourself. Right now you have just repeated some common "mantras" in our communities that honestly have no sense. You don't need to marry to "start a life". If any, I would say some people put an end to their lives when they marry.

Life is in contant change, and even though tradition may guide us in certain aspect, we have to think by ourselves about what we truly want and what we can actually achieve with our current tools. There was a nice time in which you happily finished university, got married and earned a 2000$~/mo salary. I laugh at the face of anyone who suggest something like this nowadays.

So yeah, marriage may come someday, but for those coming from humble families and with huge financial responsibilities... I doubt it will come any time soon for them. You will have plenty of time to "enjoy life" till you marry xD!

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salam, 

I have read your other threads too. I believe considering your situation it's wrong of your dad to ask you to get married.You are 16, not financially independent yet, probably not emotionally mature enough too.  It would be wrong to expect your wife who would be a teenager herself (going by the norms, chances are she will be younger than you ) to take care of your whole household and siblings. It will only add to the problems. It's wrong of your father to burden you with his responsibilities when you are still a child yourself. Why do you have to look after your brother and sisters when he is there? 

so many wrongs ^

The reasons that you have given for early marriage are correct, temptations removed etc but the couples who marry this young usually need some support from their families at least until they finish their education and they are by no means financially, mentally or emotionally capable of immediately taking on responsibility of a whole family. 

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50 minutes ago, Bakir said:

Not sure if Islamic, I would leave that for the experts, but it definitely is a prison sentence in a lot of cases.

Only if you are doing it wrong.

 

Done right, marriage is freedom from prison.

Edited by notme

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