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Lookingforlight

Please help me through the right path

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Okay I guess I don't know how to start so i'll start it like this

-Growing up I saw a lot of fights and violence in my household, sometimes I think I was born violent aswell, but I'm also different, I care a lot about people, but I do get angry if I get pushed to a point

-Anyways my mum was religious, dad not so much, I loved both my parents but due to some family problems I had difficult life growing up

-After my mum became ill my dad changed, he turned into a kind sensitive man, which i suspect he always was, but before my mum was ill, he was being influenced by bad family members.

-My mum was ill for 4 years but she didn't care about anything expect for her children and Allah, everyday all she did was cook and pray, i remember hearing her cry during prayers begging god to please look after her children if she ever died, 

-My mother passed away last year when I was 15, im not trying to say this cause she was my mother but i can honestly say that her life was so rough, she couldn't fight anyone, she was too gentle to, even when people troubled her, she would still try and be nice to them, i remember one event where some person complained about how dirty our house was and how dirty my mums kids were when she was ill and couldnt do any work, my mum was nice to them, but when they left my mum never back bited but broke down crying, i swear i never so anyone so humble, and yet all she had was god and now god took her away from us.

-so i guess its just me and my father, but I feel like a disgrace, in my honest opinion, i am 16, i need some guidance, i'm lost in life. My father wants me to become a strong man because theres some strain taking on his well being and he fears he could die meaning i would have to care for my 4 younger siblings if he does. I don't think i'm anywhere near the maturity and level of what to do. my faith in god differs time to time thinking about life, i don't know what islam to follow, sunni, shia etc, i just want to be a strong and good trustworthy pious person, i need to be a role model, but i dont know what to do. my dad is a good person and he has a lot trying to raise 5 kids by himself, plus i can tell he's lonely as he has no one to speak to anymore and some of our family give him trouble, but mentality wise he's just a kind man, he's not 'strong willed', he's tells me that the only people he has is me amd my siblings and if he does die it will be up to me to look after them

-however i have very little idea on true responsibility, i got emotional problems, it's got me into a lot of trouble, even with the police when i punched a work colleague of mine for talking smack. i guess i got an open personality, but it makes me easy to attack, I want to be a good man like Imam Ali (a.s) and Imam Hussain (A.s)

 

 

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As-salamun-alaykum brother,

 

Inshallah you will be in my prayers. I feel for you. Being 16 and all was tough even with having parental support. I would recommend that you get in touch with a young Shia aalim. Someone to shadow and follow along. Secondly, pray to Imam Mahdi (ATFJ). You see people like us might sympathise with you but, due to our sinfulness, we are unable to exactly feel what your feeling.  But Imam Mahdi(ATFJ) does feel your pain and knows what your going through. Talk to him, let it all out, and I can assure you in some way or form he will help you. Also listen to the museebah of Imam Hussain (AS), and try to cry. It will alleviate a lot of the mental anguish that you are facing right now.

 

Also I don't know if you have already done this, but try to watch the movie "313." In that movie, the main character resembles pretty much like you!

 

Salman

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Salam,

I'm so sorry for you loss brother. I don't have enough competence or knowledge in these kinds of matters to give you informed advice, but I would definitely say to strengthen your ties with Ahlulbayt (as) and place your trust completely in Allah (sbt). And as bro. Salman said, look to the example of Imam al-Hussain (as) and al-Hassan (as) - their mother also passed away when they were young. 

I will pray for you and your family, Insha'Allah.

w/s

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3 hours ago, Lookingforlight said:

Okay I guess I don't know how to start so i'll start it like this

-Growing up I saw a lot of fights and violence in my household, sometimes I think I was born violent aswell, but I'm also different, I care a lot about people, but I do get angry if I get pushed to a point

-Anyways my mum was religious, dad not so much, I loved both my parents but due to some family problems I had difficult life growing up

-After my mum became ill my dad changed, he turned into a kind sensitive man, which i suspect he always was, but before my mum was ill, he was being influenced by bad family members.

-My mum was ill for 4 years but she didn't care about anything expect for her children and Allah, everyday all she did was cook and pray, i remember hearing her cry during prayers begging god to please look after her children if she ever died, 

-My mother passed away last year when I was 15, im not trying to say this cause she was my mother but i can honestly say that her life was so rough, she couldn't fight anyone, she was too gentle to, even when people troubled her, she would still try and be nice to them, i remember one event where some person complained about how dirty our house was and how dirty my mums kids were when she was ill and couldnt do any work, my mum was nice to them, but when they left my mum never back bited but broke down crying, i swear i never so anyone so humble, and yet all she had was god and now god took her away from us.

-so i guess its just me and my father, but I feel like a disgrace, in my honest opinion, i am 16, i need some guidance, i'm lost in life. My father wants me to become a strong man because theres some strain taking on his well being and he fears he could die meaning i would have to care for my 4 younger siblings if he does. I don't think i'm anywhere near the maturity and level of what to do. my faith in god differs time to time thinking about life, i don't know what islam to follow, sunni, shia etc, i just want to be a strong and good trustworthy pious person, i need to be a role model, but i dont know what to do. my dad is a good person and he has a lot trying to raise 5 kids by himself, plus i can tell he's lonely as he has no one to speak to anymore and some of our family give him trouble, but mentality wise he's just a kind man, he's not 'strong willed', he's tells me that the only people he has is me amd my siblings and if he does die it will be up to me to look after them

-however i have very little idea on true responsibility, i got emotional problems, it's got me into a lot of trouble, even with the police when i punched a work colleague of mine for talking smack. i guess i got an open personality, but it makes me easy to attack, I want to be a good man like Imam Ali (a.s) and Imam Hussain (A.s)

 

 

it is in hard times that we grow, dont despair, just go with whatever life throws at you because in the end whatever is meant to come your way will come your way, and whatever is not meant to come will never touch you 

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Salam dear brother -

inshAllah Allah swt makes things easy for you. I can tell you one thing, never think that have the worst of all of it, some of us here on SC and out there have had worst in our lives when we were growing up.

That being said, I could tell you from my personal experience, that I coped with harsher circumstances through indulging myself immensely into Islamic books. I preferred Islamic books over others because they gave me spiritual strength along with other benefits. I kept myself into books which eventually earned me a better career and I could help my other siblings. Others have everything that includes hard work, what we Muslims have including the hard work, is the weapon of Dua' (prayers and supplications to Allah swt) and most importantly the intercession of Prophet and his Ahlulbayt which is such a special blessing that only 330millions of us posses among the 7 billion of us.

 

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35 minutes ago, Irfani313 said:

....and most importantly the intercession of Prophet and his Ahlulbayt which is such a special blessing that only 330millions of us posses among the 7 billion of us.

 

how true, we truly have a divine gift to know them and to be able to seek their intercession 

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10 hours ago, Lookingforlight said:

Okay I guess I don't know how to start so i'll start it like this

-Growing up I saw a lot of fights and violence in my household, sometimes I think I was born violent aswell, but I'm also different, I care a lot about people, but I do get angry if I get pushed to a point

-Anyways my mum was religious, dad not so much, I loved both my parents but due to some family problems I had difficult life growing up

-After my mum became ill my dad changed, he turned into a kind sensitive man, which i suspect he always was, but before my mum was ill, he was being influenced by bad family members.

-My mum was ill for 4 years but she didn't care about anything expect for her children and Allah, everyday all she did was cook and pray, i remember hearing her cry during prayers begging god to please look after her children if she ever died, 

-My mother passed away last year when I was 15, im not trying to say this cause she was my mother but i can honestly say that her life was so rough, she couldn't fight anyone, she was too gentle to, even when people troubled her, she would still try and be nice to them, i remember one event where some person complained about how dirty our house was and how dirty my mums kids were when she was ill and couldnt do any work, my mum was nice to them, but when they left my mum never back bited but broke down crying, i swear i never so anyone so humble, and yet all she had was god and now god took her away from us.

-so i guess its just me and my father, but I feel like a disgrace, in my honest opinion, i am 16, i need some guidance, i'm lost in life. My father wants me to become a strong man because theres some strain taking on his well being and he fears he could die meaning i would have to care for my 4 younger siblings if he does. I don't think i'm anywhere near the maturity and level of what to do. my faith in god differs time to time thinking about life, i don't know what islam to follow, sunni, shia etc, i just want to be a strong and good trustworthy pious person, i need to be a role model, but i dont know what to do. my dad is a good person and he has a lot trying to raise 5 kids by himself, plus i can tell he's lonely as he has no one to speak to anymore and some of our family give him trouble, but mentality wise he's just a kind man, he's not 'strong willed', he's tells me that the only people he has is me amd my siblings and if he does die it will be up to me to look after them

-however i have very little idea on true responsibility, i got emotional problems, it's got me into a lot of trouble, even with the police when i punched a work colleague of mine for talking smack. i guess i got an open personality, but it makes me easy to attack, I want to be a good man like Imam Ali (a.s) and Imam Hussain (A.s)

 

 

In my prayer!

Anytime you are troubled and need an ear or a prayer then know you have brothers and sisters here! May Allah give you strength and health along with your father and siblings, and you live long and raise your kids beside their grandfather.

 

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Love your family and don't get angry at them, they'll be your strength. and dont argue with them. make good frends...sc is a good place. and if people are good...sunni shia or sufi...treat them with respect...or love if they're your friends. you'll stop feeling lonely if u are loving and there's people who reciprocate your love without harming u in anyway.and there's many ways to get out of life's problems and there's always muslims and even other humans going thru more. so you keep ur chin up, and ur head turned towards Allah. be diligent but give urself margin of error.

the best u can do at ur age is get thru high school with good grades and enter a good uni. study well and push for a job. so u can support ur family. iA you won't find yourself alone. but take responsibility and study. so u can support ur family later and be like a father to ur sibblings and a right hand to your father. avoid people who break your will down and are negative like are jealous or hate you. bcoz you need all the positivity.

Pray salah, read Quran when you can. pray for your mother. read durud. keep her in your duas. people who love us don't die. they just go to another world. one day when life ends, for a good muslim it ends only to unite you with Allah, Ahle Bayt as and all our deceased loved ones. her prayers and love will be with you thruout ur life. and read tawassul dua when ure down, because Imam Ali as does give strength.

Also, it helps to remember Imam Hussain as...he went thru much much more than we can all imagine...whenever you feel you don't have the strength any more...you remember Imam Hussain as. Like him as don't give up, don't let your strength die. you take strength from his example.

ive gone thru rough times in life...and when i lost all hope. i asked for help from Ahle Bayt as and only the fact that they know what you're going thru will take some stress out of your life. to take away the rest of stress away, ud have to study hard and then work hard later. and its not impossible...it doesnt take immense intelligence either. just hardwork.

Allah and Rasul Allah sallou alayhi wa alihi are watching over every innocent going through these rough times. But He burdens you only with that which you can bear. So now you focus and study well. thats the best you can do for now. 

 

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Your father should go for ziarat, and you should read ziarat-e- aashura. Ask your family members to also read ziarat-e-aashura. Since you are young, all you can do is pray.  There are so many prayers available online. For your anger, you should do vird of 'wal kazimeen al ghaiz wal aafeenan anninas wallahu yuhibbul muhsineen. 

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