Hatred of Children

[LeftCoastMom]

While we were celebrating one of my sons' return from a trip with a family dinner, he related that there was a toddler in the seat behind him on the plane,fussing most of the way home. The mother was apologetic, but my son just laughed it off and told her that it was okay...the little guy was probably uncomfortable or scared...and since he was from a large family, he knew that that's what babies do and for her not to feel bad about it at all. 

Then he said " I'm glad for her that I wasn't one of THOSE people ."

I asked him what he meant by that and he said ' you know...THOSE people...the ones that hate kids. It's going around."

The other kids chimed in and said things like that happen all  the time. 

I asked them if they meant people who didn't want kids or felt "bringing a child into this world is irresponsible",etc. they said no..all that was something they could understand, and most of those folks didn't hate kids and weren't actually rude...but they meant people who really resented the presence of children in their general environment at all.

" Why should I put up with your noisy brat in public?"...that sort of thing. They each said they had been criticized for wanting kids. " Don't you have any ambition to do anything BETTER with your life?" " Kids are a bad career move." Etc.

My oldest son and his wife suffered an early miscarriage early last year. He's still a bit tender and  when someone recently got into his face with that, he confessed to me he had told the guy to " Eat a bag of dirt". ( well, sort of...)

this is the first I've heard of this,and was skeptical that people could actually want kids banished from  public life, however unlikely to happen that may be,but my offspring  were adamant that it's an attitude that often occurs among the 20-40 set. Wow.

they also said the same type hates the elderly, too. It's like they resent anyone who is "dependent" ( as if they weren't babies once or won't grow old?)

At any rate, they decided that the silver lining was that they would have to deal with those people  fussing at  "us breeders" for only one generation, though. 

I have known people who did not want kids, but they didn't mind others having them at all and shared in the happiness of the arrival of a new baby for their friends and family.  Even if they didn't really get into kids, they didn't mind their presence. 

I don't know where this other attitude comes from.  Just musing here.

[Hameedeh]

I still remember hearing on the radio last year about a survey where one third of passengers would be willing to pay extra to fly on an adults-only flight. So the majority of people are kid friendly.

[LeftCoastMom]

One third?!

[Hameedeh]

Yes, one third would pay extra for a child free zone. 70% were annoyed by children. I guess it is higher than we think. 

http://www.theguardian.com/travel/poll/2014/may/07/would-you-pay-extra-for-child-free-flight

[LeftCoastMom]

I guess everyone " gets annoyed" by children occasionally. But not wanting them in your immediate surroundings ever?  My kids told me a "child-free" restaurant was opening . Well, it's their business,but it's one I won't be patronizing...even though my kids are grown.

Edited December 17, 2015 by LeftCoastMom

[Guest]

If you two sisters don't promise to bash me too much can I make a confession here.............?

Once I was on a flight, this was before I had kids and there was a mother with a baby a few rows ahead of me and she cried most of way. I felt annoyed initially but later I could see that the mother was trying her best to calm the baby who was very upset and felt more sympathetic towards both of them. 

Since then I have had kids of my own and I have had to travel quite a lot with my kids. One thing I have always tried to do is do some preparation to make it as peaceful as possible for everyone, myself,  the kids and the people around. Simple things like giving the baby a bottle/pacifier during landing and take off, some inexpensive new toys, crayons, colouring books to keep the kids busy, favourite snacks etc,with a toddler you can have a talk beforehand to prepare her for the trip etc.  I know most of the parents do these things and babies can still be upset and fussy and cry nonstop all the way. I think such parents need our understanding and I don't even mind offering help. BUT I have come across mothers who came unprepared. One didn't even come with a proper diaper changing kit let alone the other things. Needless to say the poor child was crying most of the way. With such parents I don't mind hiding my annoyance. 

[LeftCoastMom]

Lol! Being annoyed  with children sometimes is normal, as I said. Sounds like you do a good job of being sympathetic. I was thinking of folks who just hate other people's  choice to have them.

[Haji 2003]

I think it's just an artefact of being materialistic. After all your bought possessions don't shout and scream and there is a rational calculus that with the cost of having kids, there's no long term pay-off.

A colleague at work would really like more kids, but her husband would rather have a better car.

The people who do these sums likely don't understand the thinking of people who do have kids, hence the anger. One of the benefits of taking holidays in Arab/Asian countries is that kids are welcomed much better than in the West.

[habib e najjaar]

30 minutes ago, Haji 2003 said:

One of the benefits of taking holidays in Arab/Asian countries is that kids are welcomed much better than in the West.

Although in Iran you should be prepared for random strangers telling you that you shouldn't have too many kids and definitely should have spaced them out more. In addition you will quite likely be asked if your children were "unwanted" and whether you are taking any "measures" to make sure your next child is at least four years away.

Who says propaganda isn't an effective tool? I think countries that encourage less children create problems that even massive counter propaganda 20 years down the line cannot undo.

[The Green Knight]

The other kind are bachelors, junkies, opportunists, mean evil selfish sort of people from all walks of life who all share two qualities: being a non-parent and a disbeliever. Whenever I see children making a fuss or crying I can't help but the father inside kicks in. Sometimes I am liable to hand them an icecream or candies regardless of how their parent might react. But always I wil try to soothe them verbally. So far I haven't met a parent who would mind.

[Ruq]

I always feel sorry for parents with young babies on planes. The only time ive ever got annoyed was when a child (i think he was 5-6) kept kicking the back of my seat and the parents werent stopping him (I was mad at the parents though, not the kid). Unfortunately back then i was quite shy so i didnt say anything. Now i would have no hesitation

Im sorry to read about your sons miscarriage LCM.

[notme]

I sometimes think a license should be required to have children, but I never get terribly upset with the children, more likely with the parents.

Though I've more than once had to abandon my shopping and leave a store with one child under each arm, and my oldest son has given me definitive proof that it is not literally possible to die of embarrassment, while we were travelling a long time ago.  

[King]

There are quite a few parents out there who do not watch their kinds or discipline them especially when in other peoples homes etc, mothers can especially be a bit too relaxed with these sort of things as they have probably grown too accustomed and do not see it as much of an annoyance. It is totally understandable if the parents do try and it isn't very effective but sometimes it is as if they are totally oblivious.

[Haji 2003]

7 hours ago, Darth Vader said:

Sometimes I am liable to hand them an icecream or candies regardless of how their parent might react.

I'd be careful. They may be lactose intolerant or the candies may have been made in a factory that has nuts. 

[Gaius I. Caesar]

17 minutes ago, Haji 2003 said:

I'd be careful. They may be lactose intolerant or the candies may have been made in a factory that has nuts. 

Or both, oh wait the kid is also allergic to gluten as well. I swear, parents worry too much and would rather not let kids be kids anymore.

[Haji 2003]

4 minutes ago, Gaius I. Caesar said:

I swear, parents worry too much and would rather not let kids be kids anymore.

Well, in the case of nuts, I don't think letting kids have an anaphylactic fit is part of growing up.

[LeftCoastMom]

Lol! I love it ,but keeping a thread on topic  in Shia Land  is like herding cats . 

[LeftCoastMom]

Mea maxima Culpa...I do it, too. 

[Guest]

food allergies.....I don't know of a single child in my country who has nut allergy or who has to avoid eggs, and only a couple of kids with gluten intolerance. and its so common in the west and on a rise, every classroom has a kid with one food allergy or other. I don;t want to discuss the reasons here but maybe that's the reason DV isn't as careful about offering food. But I agree, as a rule  and for reasons other than food allergies too, one should always ask the parents before giving anything to the child, even if the child is a nephew or a niece. 

[Gaius I. Caesar]

On 12/16/2015 at 11:42 PM, LeftCoastMom said:

While we were celebrating one of my sons' return from a trip with a family dinner, he related that there was a toddler in the seat behind him on the plane,fussing most of the way home. The mother was apologetic, but my son just laughed it off and told her that it was okay...the little guy was probably uncomfortable or scared...and since he was from a large family, he knew that that's what babies do and for her not to feel bad about it at all. 

Then he said " I'm glad for her that I wasn't one of THOSE people ."

I asked him what he meant by that and he said ' you know...THOSE people...the ones that hate kids. It's going around."

The other kids chimed in and said things like that happen all  the time. 

I asked them if they meant people who didn't want kids or felt "bringing a child into this world is irresponsible",etc. they said no..all that was something they could understand, and most of those folks didn't hate kids and weren't actually rude...but they meant people who really resented the presence of children in their general environment at all.

" Why should I put up with your noisy brat in public?"...that sort of thing. They each said they had been criticized for wanting kids. " Don't you have any ambition to do anything BETTER with your life?" " Kids are a bad career move." Etc.

My oldest son and his wife suffered an early miscarriage early last year. He's still a bit tender and  when someone recently got into his face with that, he confessed to me he had told the guy to " Eat a bag of dirt". ( well, sort of...)

this is the first I've heard of this,and was skeptical that people could actually want kids banished from  public life, however unlikely to happen that may be,but my offspring  were adamant that it's an attitude that often occurs among the 20-40 set. Wow.

they also said the same type hates the elderly, too. It's like they resent anyone who is "dependent" ( as if they weren't babies once or won't grow old?)

At any rate, they decided that the silver lining was that they would have to deal with those people  fussing at  "us breeders" for only one generation, though. 

I have known people who did not want kids, but they didn't mind others having them at all and shared in the happiness of the arrival of a new baby for their friends and family.  Even if they didn't really get into kids, they didn't mind their presence. 

I don't know where this other attitude comes from.  Just musing here.

It comes from the capitalist idea of the "self-made man", too bad for people believe this nonsensical pap of a myth, the self-made man is a sociopath and compulsive manipulator of epic proportions . Hip-hip-hooray, three cheers for capitalism, the greatest thing since sliced bread! Luckily, those people will die without issue or heirs, children are extremely important to society and to shun them is childish and stupid in my humble opinion.

[LeftCoastMom]

2 minutes ago, Gaius I. Caesar said:

 Luckily, those people will die without issue or heirs, children are extremely important to society and to shun them is childish and stupid in my humble opinion.

True...you soon won't even HAVE a society without children. 

[Gaius I. Caesar]

1 minute ago, LeftCoastMom said:

True...you soon won't even HAVE a society without children. 

Nah, you'll have children all right, they will be in adult-sized bodies, deal in interest, demand child-free zones and throw tantrums whenever a place isn't 100% free of their smaller counterparts, shamefully revealing their pathetic insecurities to the world. I agree with you 110%, is it even possible to have a society without children? People are getting stupider and stupider as the years roll by. 

[LeftCoastMom]

On 12/17/2015 at 10:07 AM, Ruq said:

Im sorry to read about your sons miscarriage LCM.

Forgot to thank you for this. It was rough,but if there was ever a purpose to me having one myself, it was to help my daughter-in-law through hers. I hope they will try again soon.