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In the Name of God بسم الله
Ali-F

Travel with my class - should I avoid it?

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Salaam alaykum

 

Today I have returned from a "class-journey" to Germany.

My class-mates are actually all non-Muslims though we have 2 muslims (one who's fasidah meaning she drinks etc. and one who's maybe a good Muslim). Anyhow, this 2 days travel, was good, though boring, but we had some good laughs, until I realized that we entered a freakin' place where they sell alcohol (a kind of restaurant) and people ordered food, and..........................alcohol. Yes, I sat there, and I ask God for forgivness. Now, this "alcohol" thing was really annoying me, because these non-Muslims (my class-mates) drank and drank, I though had 2 friends who was with me. 

 

This made the travel quite sad, and not funny. Actually distresseing. 

 

Why? Because this was a 2-day travel, about 4 months, there will be a new travel to another country (a week), and this alcohol thing will obviously be there as well. I don't want that. This travel does also have some problems IMO.

 

1. It costs 463 £ (approximately.). Now this tour will be a "ski-tour" meaning that it will also cost me some money to buy different things, for example, ski-trousers. 

2. My prayers (salah) will be under problems if you may say that. I will find it difficult to pray.

3. This is actually the one of the most distressing reasons: My class will drink alcohol and sit on a table with that. Meaning that it will be haram,

4. I dont really want to go. Don't like it.

 

So, yea, these problems are there, and I have to pay the last amount of money 1st December, and now I really dont want to go.

But: I fear that people will laugh of my action, and say like "ew, why didn't Ali enter with us" or even backbite me, and that my grades will become worser and worser.

What do you think? Should I take to the next travel, or should I avoid it and dont think about what people will think?

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If you don't want to go, don't go! Never do things that go against your values out of fear of what others will think. What kind of life will you live if your actions go against your own morals?

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1 hour ago, Ali-F said:

But: I fear that people will laugh of my action, and say like "ew, why didn't Ali enter with us" or even backbite me, and that my grades will become worser and worser.

Talking about you is not even a problem and they will be punished in future for backbiting you. How would your grades get worse if you don't go? While they are on the trip, can't you study more?

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I remember going strict to the point I even published in my personal social media a list of things that I reject, so people were aware of it before even inviting me to any thing. Most of you know I'm pretty much open and lenient, but honestly, I don't like places with loud music, banal conversations and overall denigration. I used to drink alcohol by the time but not the way people usually drink (merely to get drunk), so that was also a reason for me not to go to a place. So I felt no remorse for being honest; my social life suffered from it but I don't regret it either, you can focus on other aspects of your life till you find a decent group of friends (it could be nice to focus on spirituality, philosophy, professional field, etc.).

Really brother, you will feel way more liberated if you were more open about your beliefs. Perform taqiyah when needed, but disliking alcohol and music isn't something to be ashamed of, but actually to be proud of. And believe me, many of those who are into the partying lifestyle know that too. Ignore what others think or stop thinking about you, they won't benefit you nor harm you in any way.

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Why would missing a class trip affect your grades, Ali? Is the trip a required part of a course? With drinking? Guess I don't understand school in Europe, then. If it's not a requirement and it's costing you money and you don't want to go....use the time and/or money to go or do something else  that will be just as educational and not as stressful for you. If it's somehow a requirement, ask if you can substitute the thing you'd rather do. I know it's hard when you are young, but you are obviously a committed young man and want to follow a certain path in life or you wouldn't be here talking to your fellow faithful. Might as well start on the path now because, quite honestly, you won't be able to hang out with most of these school folks  anyway in a few years if you are living the life to which you aspire.

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9 hours ago, Bakir said:

So I felt no remorse for being honest; my social life suffered from it but I don't regret it either, you can focus on other aspects of your life till you find a decent group of friends (it could be nice to focus on spirituality, philosophy, professional field, etc.).

Really brother, you will feel way more liberated if you were more open about your beliefs. Perform taqiyah when needed, but disliking alcohol and music isn't something to be ashamed of, but actually to be proud of. And believe me, many of those who are into the partying lifestyle know that too. Ignore what others think or stop thinking about you, they won't benefit you nor harm you in any way.

100% agree.

Brother Ali,

If you continue to worry about your classmates' opinions things will only become harder for you. In a few years time, if not already, many of your friends will be engrossed in a very much haram lifestyle. And as a practicing muslim it will be increasingly harder for you to fit it with them. As cliché as it sounds, if your friends do not accept you as you are they’re not worth your time. In year or two you will stop hearing from most of them and each of you will go your separate ways. So don’t compromise your religion for anyone. 

If these trips take you out of your "islamic comfort zone” and you don’t really want to go I see no need in going. 

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11 hours ago, notme said:

If you don't want to go, don't go! Never do things that go against your values out of fear of what others will think. What kind of life will you live if your actions go against your own morals?

 I agree. This trip will certainly affect my religion, and thus I don't want to go. Many thanks. 

 

10 hours ago, The Batman said:

Don't go bro

Short and simple. You're right.

 

10 hours ago, magma said:

What class is this? How old are you all?

Highschool, second year. Next year is my last year, alhamdulillah. 

 

10 hours ago, hameedeh said:

Talking about you is not even a problem and they will be punished in future for backbiting you. How would your grades get worse if you don't go? While they are on the trip, can't you study more?

You are true. I just fear that people will stay away from me (I don't know if that's Shaytan) but I feel that my classmates will ignore me, and that it would affect my group-work with them. Though, the funny thing is that I dont go to parties, and they know that, and no one is staying away from me (apparently lol) 

10 hours ago, Bakir said:

 

 

Yes, you are right. No one will affect me, and I will live my life without them. 

 

9 hours ago, Vestige said:

Forget what they think and ponder on your own self. It's honestly not worth it, just don't go.

I agree.

 

6 hours ago, Finder said:

Salam,

No One can make the decision for you. It is up to you to use your best judgement in such situations. 

Yes, but I just wanted to hear the opinions of my brothers and sisters. I find this difficult. 

 

3 hours ago, LeftCoastMom said:

Why would missing a class trip affect your grades, Ali? Is the trip a required part of a course? With drinking? Guess I don't understand school in Europe, then. If it's not a requirement and it's costing you money and you don't want to go....use the time and/or money to go or do something else  that will be just as educational and not as stressful for you. If it's somehow a requirement, ask if you can substitute the thing you'd rather do. I know it's hard when you are young, but you are obviously a committed young man and want to follow a certain path in life or you wouldn't be here talking to your fellow faithful. Might as well start on the path now because, quite honestly, you won't be able to hang out with most of these school folks  anyway in a few years if you are living the life to which you aspire.

 

No, this is not a required part. It's voluntarily, and I can keep away if I wish to. Therefore, I think about just leave it, and not go.

 

34 minutes ago, Yasmeena said:

100% agree.

Brother Ali,

If you continue to worry about your classmates' opinions things will only become harder for you. In a few years time, if not already, many of your friends will be engrossed in a very much haram lifestyle. And as a practicing muslim it will be increasingly harder for you to fit it with them. As cliché as it sounds, if your friends do not accept you as you are they’re not worth your time. In year or two you will stop hearing from most of them and each of you will go your separate ways. So don’t compromise your religion for anyone. 

If these trips take you out of your "islamic comfort zone” and you don’t really want to go I see no need in going. 

Yes, this will take me out of my "comfort zone", and that's the problem. I don't have a Muslim mate, that's sad, because then it would be easy. But yes, you're right.

 

 

_____________

 

On a side note brothers and sisters, it seems that I walk alone and no one likes me, lol, no, I hav two friends who are good. They respect me (when I prayed once, they respected it). I walk with them, and so on. The problem is with the girls, not all of them, there are some girls who're good, and I know that they will not find this as a problem. But I think about the other girls and boys. But as you said, I shouldn't think about it.

The travel is on March. I don't want people to know it shouldn't I wait say one week before they  go, or the day they will go, and not already know, because there's quite long time until the travel?

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A ski-trip is very much an optional extra as far as school (in the UK is concerned), I'd be surprised it's any different where you are.

Not attending should have no effect on your grades. In fact, you'd be far better off education wise spending that money on private tuition, if you want to improve your grades.

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At your age, the urge to fit in with your peers is very powerful and totally natural. On the good side,IMHO, it means you're psychologically and developmentally right where you should be. This is the time of life when young folks start taking real steps outside their family -house group and bonding to age-mates. Around here it was when the young folk would seek their visions and prepare to take on adult tasks, from marriage to hunting in groups or defending the villages. The Elders and others helped them through this. 

I was wondering why you are so alone in this. Are there other Muslims around?

Edited by LeftCoastMom
I can't speyull

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On 11/27/2015, 3:07:01, Ali-F said:

Salaam alaykum

 

Today I have returned from a "class-journey" to Germany.Why? Because this was a 2-day travel, about 4 months, there will be a new travel to another country (a week), and this alcohol thing will obviously be there as well. I don't want that. This travel does also have some problems IMO.

 

1. It costs 463 £ (approximately.). Now this tour will be a "ski-tour" meaning that it will also cost me some money to buy different things, for example, ski-trousers. 

2. My prayers (salah) will be under problems if you may say that. I will find it difficult to pray.

3. This is actually the one of the most distressing reasons: My class will drink alcohol and sit on a table with that. Meaning that it will be haram,

4. I dont really want to go. Don't like it.

So, yea, these problems are there, and I have to pay the last amount of money 1st December, and now I really dont want to go.

But: I fear that people will laugh of my action, and say like "ew, why didn't Ali enter with us" or even backbite me, and that my grades will become worser and worser.

What do you think? Should I take to the next travel, or should I avoid it and dont think about what people will think?

you will find the answer to your question right there in your post. (Bold). If you don't want to go you do have to.

I have said this earlier to you and I will repeat. Don't let  people's opinions dictate your actions. 

Personally, If there were a couple of friends with whom I could enjoy without indulging in haram stuff and money was not a problem, I would have gone.  

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