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Marriage Steps?

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So what are the steps taken for marriage? My mother showed me a pic of a girl, am I supposed to say "yeah she looks alright", but whats next? What are the steps taken from beginning to the end of finally agreeing to marry someone?

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So what are the steps taken for marriage? My mother showed me a pic of a girl, am I supposed to say "yeah she looks alright", but whats next? What are the steps taken from beginning to the end of finally agreeing to marry someone?

 

Salam,

 

Well - if she seemed to attract you outwardly that's the first step. Although it's not all about looks, there is no denying that attraction is definitely an important factor. At the end of the day you have to like what you see. In saying this, she doesn't have to be top of the notch - attraction also grows with getting to know the person & marriage.

 

If she looks alright to you, then ask to meet her with her parents permission. Regularly visit, and speak to her under her own roof - so in other words, when your families visit each other, every now and then you two can speak in an open room (with your families present in the house so there is zero isolation) and perhaps get the gist of how she is when it is just you and her.

 

This process usually takes place and has a time limit of its own - sometimes you need months, sometimes weeks or even less. There is no calibre anyone, nor your family, hers or anyone who will reply to you, as to when you should go ahead with it. You will know yourself when you are comfortable, and so will see. And you will both have made the intention that you are right for each other. Don't do it under anyone's pressure, and go into it with an open mind. You need to ask her important questions: how will she uphold her marriage with you? What does she like/not like? How will she raise her kids? What are her boundaries? There needs to be mutual knowledge and support from you both so you feel like you know enough to take that huge step.

 

And when it's all agreed upon with families, and you two most importantly, and everyone is happy then voilà! Bob's your uncle. Or in our case, Ali, Hassan, Hussein, Mohamed or Mahdi :lol:

WS.

Edited by Blissful

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Talk is not so revealing about the real person inside (tm) even for psychologists and police detectives. Some of the worst spouses around today seemed the best ones with their sweet talks before marriage. All the promise in their eyes and all the claims quickly turns out to be the remarkable ability of our fraudulent natures.

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It can be a very difficult process with no consistency from one family to another.

I have been going through it for the last 8-9 months in Canada and have met with a few families and each has had its own rules. Some might let you see the girl but don't encourage any conversation, some will let you see and have a supervised chat, one did not let anyone meet or see the girl, another tried rushing a decision in less than a week, turned out they had someone in mind already and I was a last minute attempt lol

I would recommend starting as early as possible, as it can take very long.

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