Jump to content
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!) ×
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!)
In the Name of God بسم الله

I Need Methods

Rate this topic


Recommended Posts

  • Veteran Member

Focus on other stuff. Usually one fails at the 'looking' part because of the empty spaces of time during transportation (from home to school/work). In such a case, my personal recommendation is the use of an MP3 with useful audios or a nice book. Other than that I don't know :p.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member

Meet up with your muslim brothers, go out camping and BBQ and sports, study extra, study islam, do some charity, work out, help people in whatever way, get a summer job, help out at Mosque go there before gatherings and help fix stuff.

Regarding the haram images, theres one easy way to solve this, just dont look. Muharram is coming up, that will help you iA. Stay away from places you know are more worse than others, stay with your muslim brothers and if you dont have any, then we are here iA.

Edited by IbnSina
Link to post
Share on other sites

Salam Alaykum Brother, 

 

I was listening to a highly respected scholar (Dr. Mirbagheri) who was addressing this topic, and he gave an awesome tip which essentially goes like this. 

Play a mind game; trick yourself. Tell yourself, "I'm not going to look this time for the sake of Allah. For the love of Allah, I'm to going to control my nafs this time."

Keep on telling yourself that every time you feel the urge to look.

What you'll find is that your resolution and willpower will get stronger and stronger.

To the point where lowering your gaze simply becomes a part of your nature Inshallah.

 

You can use this method for any other obstacle/sin that you're trying to overcome as well (i.e. backbiting) :)

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member

^The narcotics anonymous method lol but it works!

 

Just say: Just keep thinking that just for today you won't look, or do such and such.

 

It is a good trick, your mind finds comfort in knowing that it is just for today so it's not hard as when you just say I won't do it ever again... that may unleash more temptation. So obviously every new day you keep saying that and of course keeping in mind that you are pleasing Allah swt.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member

I just had another idea. Why don't you just get married? 

Your Iraqi right? So its pretty normal to marry at young age, marry someone who can stay at their parents house and you stay at yours until you are done with studies and she is with hers, then get jobs, get house, get life, get rekt, everyone wins.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member

I haven't seen any iraqi family in the west marrying their sons at such an early age. But this is how it is xP.

Better to be patient and wait for the best, choosing carefully. No one has died so far because of marrying later in life :P.

 

Death is not the worst thing in life you know, if you are not careful then you might become something that would make the you of today wish you had died.

But you have a point, patience is to be preferred at his age and life situation but one more thing that is also very very important is discipline. Patience and discipline. Patience and discipline. Patience and discipline. Patience and discipline.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member

Focus on other stuff. Usually one fails at the 'looking' part because of the empty spaces of time during transportation (from home to school/work). In such a case, my personal recommendation is the use of an MP3 with useful audios or a nice book. Other than that I don't know :p.

Good suggestion.

be a loner and stay at home all day.

Sounds like something you'd do.

Meet up with your muslim brothers, go out camping and BBQ and sports, study extra, study islam, do some charity, work out, help people in whatever way, get a summer job, help out at Mosque go there before gatherings and help fix stuff.

Regarding the haram images, theres one easy way to solve this, just dont look. Muharram is coming up, that will help you iA. Stay away from places you know are more worse than others, stay with your muslim brothers and if you dont have any, then we are here iA.

Great suggestions.

Wear one of these11ddbe0bc2f064962a04ccb32f8a6cbe.jpg

Real dudes don't imitate women.

Migrate to the Northern Hemisphere.

Parents won't let me, and I hate very cold weather.

If you wear glasses use a power that is just good enough for reading. But be careful when crossing roads.

Reading a book in public makes me look like a nerd. But maybe I'll read stuff on my phone.

its summer in australia now?

Yea bro.

Make a vow. 

 

- That will surely help.

Too risky.

Go on a mutah spree.

But I'll have to do it in secret. And which girls? Muslim girls or from school?

Lol jokes I won't do it.

Yeah, but he'd get all the fun and we'd suffer the blowback when he starts a 'broken heart' thread.

I'm not emotional like that. I'm beast brotha.

Salam Alaykum Brother, 

 

I was listening to a highly respected scholar (Dr. Mirbagheri) who was addressing this topic, and he gave an awesome tip which essentially goes like this. 

Play a mind game; trick yourself. Tell yourself, "I'm not going to look this time for the sake of Allah. For the love of Allah, I'm to going to control my nafs this time."

Keep on telling yourself that every time you feel the urge to look.

What you'll find is that your resolution and willpower will get stronger and stronger.

To the point where lowering your gaze simply becomes a part of your nature Inshallah.

 

You can use this method for any other obstacle/sin that you're trying to overcome as well (i.e. backbiting) :)

Best comment ever. Thank you. Problem is at times like this, your mind is caught up, that one kind of forgets Allah (sadly). How can I keep remembering Allah?

I just had another idea. Why don't you just get married? 

Your Iraqi right? So its pretty normal to marry at young age, marry someone who can stay at their parents house and you stay at yours until you are done with studies and she is with hers, then get jobs, get house, get life, get rekt, everyone wins.

Married? I haven't finished high school yet bro.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member

As others have emphasized earlier, the key solution is to keep yourself busy for most of the time and be in the presence of others. Perhaps making a schedule and following it might be an alternative, where for example you would have certain hours during the morning for reading, in the afternoon when lunch is done going outside of the house, other hours for PS4, Shiachat ect. 

Link to post
Share on other sites

السلام عليكم

@Bakir

 

In general for marriage, whether that be temporary or permanent, the viewing of a women's amenities one wishes to marry is allowed, however Shīa and Sunnī scholars differ on this issue. According to Shīa scholars (e.i., al-sistānī), it is allowed to view her hair, neck, wrists, palms, and low limbs (covered: assumed), however without the intention of sensual enjoyment/pleasure; and must have certainty in not falling prey to Harām (sin); and must be certain that there is a no forbiddance in marrying her; and a possibility of choosing her; and not taken in advance by another. Otherwise, it is not allowed...[Link to al-sistānī's verdict N.10]. (See: Hurr al-`Āmilī, Wasā`il al-Shīa, vol. 20, Ch. 36; vol. 14, Ch. 30; al-Khū’ī, Book of Nikāḥ, vol.1, pg. 23-25, 43-45, 99). On the other hand, within the four Sunnī school of thoughts there's some variation in the verdict with similarities.

 

Wa `al-salam 

Edited by Jaafar Al-Shibli
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Forum Administrators

Amateurs.........

The first accidental look is halal, so get some eyedrops and keep starring, just dont blink!

 

Ah. That explains why western women complain about newly arrived immigrants from Muslim countries staring at them.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Veteran Member

But I'll have to do it in secret. And which girls? Muslim girls or from school?

 

All of them. Even the ones on the billboards. You don't have to consummate your mutahs, you know. Just ask them to repeat "qabiltu, qabiltu" after you and explain it to them. That simple. Then you will be all mahram. Problem solved.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Veteran Member

Lol DV...

Thanks Jaafar. I understand by this that this ruling is for the case in which you have already exposed your intention to marry and her guardian has agreed to that possibility. The ruling doesn't apply for random women I understand (as there is no certainty about if she is available for marriage or even accepting to marry), even if someone is actually looking for a spouse.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member

Keep an open mind like that of an artist eho sketches nude models or of a doctor who has to look at naked patients during check ups

You feel?

Nope?

I have actly developed that

But im not sayig develop that and look at people dressed in an unislamic way

Avert your eyes and all but if u do happen to look at anyone dressed inappropriately you can have that "artists / doctors attitude" i guess

Nope?

Ok

Go on a mutah spree.

Yaaas just dont get addicted or end up forming an emotional bond with some one
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Veteran Member

The artist's attitude you refer to, as i'm an artist myself, comes when you have drawn a lot of models. The first time it is very weird. But when you get used to it and do it several times a week, you end up even joking with the girl or guy as if there was nothing else to care about. Curiously enough for many, most people get used to it after the first time. It is not that weird.

It is a necessary attitude for that kind of job, definitely. But I wouldn't say it is necessary nor attainable for regular people.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Best comment ever. Thank you. Problem is at times like this, your mind is caught up, that one kind of forgets Allah (sadly). How can I keep remembering Allah?

Married? I haven't finished high school yet bro.

 

Salam Brother,

 

In regards to your question, really prep yourself mentally ahead of this challenge...

Your question prompted me to go back and watch the clip that addressed this topic again (sorry, it's in Farsi...don't know if you'd understand it) and picked up on the following:

  • Making it a deal that "looking" (or whatever other wrong act) is a sin, and avoiding it...is a very special attribute. In fact, it's Muqaddas (holy). Good for you. Don't ever lose it. This is the type of conscience that will save us in the end.
  • This is the attribute of a believer to feel a burden after committing a sin, whereas the Munafiq (hypocrite) can commit the biggest of sins, and not feel like he did anything wrong. 
  • This may happen multiple times for you throughout the day...where you feel with every inch of your body that you want to look, but you tell yourself, "This one time, I won't look for the sake of Allah....until next time" (i.e. trick yourself)
  • for every single time that you  practice self-restraint towards a sin that your heart desires....you will be rewarded without doubt with something special (Inayat is the Arabic term), and have special attention directed towards you from Allah, and each time, you'll go up a degree in closeness to Allah...
  • Even if you slip...immediately afterwards, make Tawbah (ask for forgiveness from Allah). 
  • If you do mess up and slip, you may be able to make Tawbah later on and be forgiven, but that special reward that Allah saves for that specific moment that you practice self-restraint....you will have lost out on that 
  • No one has reaped as much spiritual awards as  those who were able to control what their eyes could see, because if the eye is protected from that which is not allowed, the Jalal (greatness) of Allah will be able to penetrate your soul (I think this one's a hadith)
  • These rewards are worth the hard work of self-restraint....because this is a trade that you are directly making with Allah
  • In conclusion, 1. Protect yourself; be aware of the indescribable rewards that are reaped from self-constraint, and 2. This is an ongoing self-evaluation process; every night think about how successful you were in this endeavor, and if you find that a couple incidences slipped, make Dua to Allah to become even better Inshallah...even if this is your 100th time making Tawbah...just keep at it
  • Diligence is the key word here..keep it up, and I promise that it will get you to that level where control is just second nature
  • HADITH: A person who recites 11X Surah Tauhid (Qul huwallaho Ahad) after their Fajr prayer, Allah will protect them from sins throughout that entire day. Use this method as well.

 

I'm a sister..but I can appreciate the challenge that you guys face...while I realize that you're still in high school, this is when you get yourself ready for marriage --for the best marriage ever. When you control your gaze, you're not only protecting your soul, but your perception of reality. We're constantly being bombarded with air-brushed images and the magic of make-up on some women is literally like...difference between beauty and the beast (sorry don't know how else to put it) 

When the time does come for marriage, your wife will be the most beautiful wife in the world. She'll also be someone who protected herself for you, and dealt with the challenges of being modest...Inshallah

I'm sure you know how the Ayah goes...(Surah 24 , Ayah 26):

 

Women impure are for men impure and men impure are for women impure; and women of purity are for men of purity and men of purity are for women of purity: these are not affected by what people say: for them there is forgiveness and a provision honorable

 

maybe that also means that...the mutah-spreeing men are for the mutah-spreeing women....take your pick:)

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Advanced Member

Salaams, 

 

Loving these threads up on ShiaChat.

 

One of the most effective methods I find is to understand reality for its worth. This might sound complicated but in essence in simple. Society wants us to believe that a certain standard of dressing and physical looks is whats needed/right/hot/sexy, etc.

 

What we as believers in a higher way of life need to do is to firstly not accept society standards and secondly completely slaughter those standards, mentally. Enforce the fact that showing your body is not hot/attractive but rather detrimental to ones physical and mental state(soul). By doing this overtime you will not find the "apparent" to be attractive which will eventually lead to you not getting tempted. 

 

This truly is something that requires training but can work and do wonders. It definitely has done wonders for me to the point I no longer find the material/shine/gloss of this world attractive. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...
Guest silasun

Salaamun Alaykum dear brother.

 

Remember death, a lot. Spend a portion of your day, even if at the start only 15 or 20 minutes before you go to sleep, pondering about death. Read these hadith on this issue and acquire a firm resolution to give yourself this time pondering on death on a daily basis:

 

 

وسائل الشيعة ج : 2 ص : 435
عَنْ أَبِي بَصِيرٍ قَالَ شَكَوْتُ إِلَى أَبِي عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ع الْوَسْوَاسَ فَقَالَ يَا أَبَا مُحَمَّدٍ اذْكُرْ تَقَطُّعَ أَوْصَالِكَ فِي قَبْرِكَ وَ رُجُوعَ أَحِبَّائِكَ عَنْكَ إِذَا دَفَنُوكَ فِي حُفْرَتِكَ وَ خُرُوجَ بَنَاتِ الْمَاءِ مِنْ مَنْخِرَيْكَ وَ أَكْلَ الدُّودِ لَحْمَكَ فَإِنَّ ذَلِكَ يُسَلِّي عَنْكَ مَا أَنْتَ فِيهِ قَالَ أَبُو بَصِيرٍ فَوَ اللَّهِ مَا ذَكَرْتُهُ إِلَّا سَلَّا عَنِّي مَا أَنَا فِيهِ مِنْ هَمِّ الدُّنْيَا

عَنْ أَبِي جَعْفَرٍ ع قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ص الْمَوْتَ الْمَوْتَ أَلَا وَ لَا بُدَّ مِنَ الْمَوْتِ إِلَى أَنْ قَالَ وَ قَالَ إِذَا اسْتُحِقَّتْ وَلَايَةُ اللَّهِ وَ السَّعَادَةُ جَاءَ الْأَجَلُ بَيْنَ الْعَيْنَيْنِ وَ ذَهَبَ الْأَمَلُ وَرَاءَ الظَّهْرِ وَ إِذَا اسْتُحِقَّتْ وَلَايَةُ الشَّيْطَانِ وَ الشَّقَاوَةُ جَاءَ الْأَمَلُ بَيْنَ الْعَيْنَيْنِ وَ ذَهَبَ الْأَجَلُ وَرَاءَ الظَّهْرِ قَالَ وَ سُئِلَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ص أَيُّ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ أَكْيَسُ فَقَالَ أَكْثَرُهُمْ ذِكْراً لِلْمَوْتِ وَ أَشَدُّهُمْ لَهُ اسْتِعْدَاداً

وسائل الشيعة ج : 2 ص : 436

عَنِ الْحَسَنِ بْنِ عَلِيٍّ الْعَسْكَرِيِّ عَنْ آبَائِهِ عَنِ الصَّادِقِ ع أَنَّهُ رَأَى رَجُلًا قَدِ اشْتَدَّ جَزَعُهُ عَلَى وَلَدِهِ فَقَالَ يَا هَذَا جَزِعْتَ لِلْمُصِيبَةِ الصُّغْرَى وَ غَفَلْتَ عَنِ الْمُصِيبَةِ الْكُبْرَى لَوْ كُنْتَ لِمَا صَارَ إِلَيْهِ وَلَدُكَ مُسْتَعِدّاً لَمَا اشْتَدَّ عَلَيْهِ جَزَعُكَ فَمُصَابُكَ بِتَرْكِكَ الِاسْتِعْدَادَ أَعْظَمُ مِنْ مُصَابِكَ بِوَلَدِكَ

 

16– Imam al-Baqir (as) said, 'Remember death frequently, for no sooner does man increase his remembrance of death than he begins to renounce this world's life.’[bihar al-Anwar, v. 73, p. 64, no. 31] 

 

0- الإمام علي (علَيه الّسلام): آفةُ الآمالِ حضور الآجالِ (غرر الحكم: 3959) 50- Imam Ali (as) said, ‘The bane of hope is the arrival of death.’[

 

I think the translation of "hope" is not too accurate and maybe refers to those futile desires of dunya.

 

6- الإمام علي (علَيه الّسلام) : لو رأَى العبد أجلَه وسرعته إلَيه أبغض الأملَ. 16- Imam Ali (AS) said, ‘If man were to see his death [approaching] and the speed at which it draws near to him, he would despise expectation.’[bihar alAnwar, v. 73, p. 95, no. 79]

 

 

Sorry for poor formatting of the Arabic, refer to Mizan al-Hikma- https://www.world-federation.org/sites/default/files/uploaded_files/Mizan%20al%20Hikmah.pdf

 

 Imam Ali (as) said, ‘Increase your remembrance of death, the day that you will rise from your graves, and your standing before Allah, Mighty and Exalted, and your afflictions will become easier to bear.’[al-Khisal, p. 616, no. 10] 

Edited by silasun
Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...