Parenting Tips And Advice

[starlight]

Salam everyone... I have often felt the lack of threads relating to parenting advice, so I thought of starting one.

Please post any helpful advice that has either been passed down to you or you happened to read it somewhere, or you encountered a problem a you came up with a solution yourself. Thank you

I will start...

TEACH YOUR CHILD NOT TO INTERRUPT IN ONE SIMPLE STEP

Often times kids are just BURSTING to tell you something and will come straight up to you and tell you what’s on their mind regardless of whether you are already talking to someone.

Well they used to.

That was before I saw this truly genius little technique from a friend.

I was chatting with her one day when her (then 3-year-old) son wanted to say something. Instead of interrupting though, he simply placed his hand on her wrist and waited. My friend placed her hand over his to acknowledge him and we continued chatting.

After she had finished what she was saying, she turned to him. I was in awe! So simple. So gentle. So respectful of both the child and the adult. Her son only needed to wait a few seconds for my friend to finish her sentence. Then she gave him her complete attention.

My husband and I started implementing this straight away. We explained to Jack and Sarah that if they want to talk and someone is already speaking, they need to place their hand on our wrist and wait. It took some practice and a few light taps on our own wrists as gentle reminders but I am so happy to report that the interrupting has all but stopped!!

No more, ‘wait‘. No more, ‘Please don’t interrupt‘. Just a simple gesture; a little touch of the wrist. That’s all.

Give it a try. It works!

http://www.aneverydaystory.com/2014/07/07/how-to-teach-your-child-not-to-interrupt/

[hasanhh]

(salam)

 

I worked in Japan and taught English to a couple of womens' classes.

 

I asked about how they got children to behave so well. The first one l'll post is this:

 

Babies cry for a lot of reasons. Many times they cry just to get attention. Here is how they told me to keep a child from being a screaming brat:

 

Roll up a napkin which is obviously soft. When the baby starts the noise making routine, just touch the napkin to its lips.

 

Obviously that doesn't hurt and the baby doesn't like it. Associating "paper taste" to screaming, they stop screaming and whining.

 

I told some men I know this and a couple of them tried it and it worked. And men aren't around babies as much as the mothers are.

 

I remember others.

[Ali_Hussain]

Your kids are called Jack and Sarah? Tough names to grow up with in Pakistan.

[starlight]

Your kids are called Jack and Sarah? Tough names to grow up with in Pakistan.

No, no.... They were the names of the kids in that article I linked, my kids have very shia names :) I don't blame you for getting confused though, that's how it seemed to me too after I read my own post :p

[Ali_Hussain]

No, no.... They were the names of the kids in that article I linked, my kids have very shia names :) I don't blame you for getting confused though, that's how it seemed to me too after I read my own post :P

 

lol, yeah, I actually clicked on the link, this was just my attempt at witticism  :unsure: 

[starlight]

lol, yeah, I actually clicked on the link, this was just my attempt at witticism  :unsure:

Oooops! My bad

[apofomysback]

Don't bribe your kids into doing things - with time, your kid will associate the bribe with listening to his elders and doing things they want him to do. not only will he only do things just because he wants to get a certain something, he may even start making unnecessary demands for things. 

[alisayyed]

This is for children above the age of 2. Those who are able to, at least, partially understand spoken language.

 

As we all know, many kids have issues when trying to wake up. They start crying if you force them to do so.

 

One simple technique can be this-

You try to wake them up, they will start crying.

You ask them as to how long will it take for them to wake up. (generally there will be no answer, the only answer will be more crying)

 

Then you ask them if it is ok to wake them after 5 or 10 minutes- The kid will moistly say yes.

 

And then, when you wake them up after the agreed time-5 or 10 min, you will find them waking up without making a fuss. There was an agreement between you and the child and an inherent yearn for justice will lead to the child waking up.

 

If it fails, there has to be a second round. Inform the kid that he/she is given another 5/10 min. The chances of success will be higher this time. You have added compassion in the deal now.

[apofomysback]

Your kids are called Jack and Sarah? Tough names to grow up with in Pakistan.

If it makes you feel any better, I did laugh at your reply :D

 

I have an uncle named Jack (that his spoken name - real name Jahangir, which he changed while living in the US and has continued using Jack even after his return) and his wife Sandra (who he married in the USA - a Christian) - they seem to be doing really well with those names in Pakistan for the past 10 years :D

[LeftCoastMom]

If it makes you feel any better, I did laugh at your reply :D

 

I have an uncle named Jack (that his spoken name - real name Jahangir, which he changed while living in the US and has continued using Jack even after his return) and his wife Sandra (who he married in the USA - a Christian) - they seem to be doing really well with those names in Pakistan for the past 10 years :D

The naming of children. Didn't think of that. Oh, well, thanks for my panic attack du jour.;-)

[hasanhh]

2] from post 2;

 

Let the small children exhaust their "frivolous" interests.

 

The example is the shortest explanation:

 

Walking on the sidewalk I saw a still diapered toddler holding onto a chain used around sidewalks. He'd push it back and forth. Push down on it while 'jumping'. Look at the two posts that section was fastened to. His mother was just standing there waiting for him to finish --groceries in both hands and a little kid on her back. Then when he paused she spoke to him and he just went over to her and started following her again.

 

No arguments and curiosity satisfied.

[starlight]

^ what a great Mother. Most of the parents these days are too much in a hurry to let the kids experience such things.

[Haji 2003]

The focus of the book is on activities and stories for children that encourage them to consider philosophical concepts. Parents can work with their kids on these activities without the kids actually ever having to worry about the heavy-duty concepts underpinning the fun stuff.

 

[Mzwakhe]

salam,

tis good to teach children manners, like how not to interrupt...

Yet, also, in times of emergency a child should also be taught how to interrupt nicely. Say a toddler has fallen in the swimming pool, the child rushes & hold the wrist of the parent to avoid interrupting, but can squeeze the wrist 3 times to indicate that they need to tell the parent of an emergency situation.

ws

[starlight]

Just found this...

I think it's a pretty cool idea.

http://www.magicalmaths.org/these-cups-should-have-a-place-in-any-classroom-making-the-ordinary-extraordinary/

These cups should have a place in any classroom! Making the ordinary extraordinary!

Guestblogger: tessmaths

These cups should have a place in any classroom!

Making the ordinary extraordinary… This picture was one I picked up a couple of years ago on Twitter and it sparked a creative note. Having experimented with the approach to place value and reading numbers in this way it has very good effect. Especially when the students make the tool themselves. Younger students can get to grips with the position of numbers and the zeros prompt them to say the correct magnitude if they are a little unsure. You could write the words too underneath the numbers if necessary. Its a lovely class project for year 3 and 4 and it’s cheap too. It is also great for intervention at a later stage, with older students.

Moving this on a stage you can move into decimal numbers and multiplication and division by 10, 100 etc as demonstrated below by Ed Southall @solvemymaths (unless that is a hand model)

As a teacher trainer this set me thinking to add this approach into my session called ‘making the ordinary extraordinary’ in which I give ITT students a series of ordinary objects – paper plates, wool, sweets, clothes pegs, knitting needles – to see what maths they can demonstrate and play with…working in a very different way in which they usually do or are encouraged to. This is challenging for quite a few new teachers in training. One chap, ex army, openly stated “I’m not creative…this will be awful” yet he produced this with his cups. It has a scale along the rim for positive and negative numbers which twists round – simple but very effective and something he was quite proud of. Celebrated on twitter it caused a stir and had some good feedback too.

So one relatively simple idea can spark an element of creativity. Making the ordinary extraordinary…have a go.

Place Value

[starlight]

Building resilience in children

Most of us would already be doing some of these things but I would still suggest all parents of little children to give this a read.

https://www.google.com.pk/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=http://www.beststart.org/resources/hlthy_chld_dev/pdf/BSRC_Resilience_English_fnl.pdf&ved=0CCIQFjABahUKEwia18TchcvIAhWOwY4KHeqCCAA&usg=AFQjCNGN5p4imz7CpbLfyzmxY7qyBrvKkA&sig2=cJzm0B_Zd2hGw5AAzcDGZQ

[Haji 2003]

My 10 year old daughter was having evenings crying at the prospect of leaving her junior school friends as they all moved to different secondary schools. To cheer her up I told her that she'd make new friends at her next school and they'd be much stronger friendships and that when she left secondary school that's when she'd feel real pain.

[Sumayyeh]

Dear parents and/or teachers...I know of an excellent resource for teaching kids (of different age groups) about Muharram:

 

http://www.academyofislam.com/index.php/resourcess/occassions/muharram/307-muharramchildren

[starlight]

@ Haji2003

Awww... Kids have small worlds and their friends mean the world to them.

If she is really upset now then this might not be a good time but later, when she is in a happier mood I think it would be a good idea to have a conversation with her about what to expect. Tell her changes are always stressful and it takes time to settle in any new situation. So its perfectly normal if she feels out of place, lonely and misses her friends the first few days but eventually she will be happier, have stronger friendships etc.

If possible, take a tour of the school before your daughter starts there to get her familiar with the layout of the school. Meet the child's teacher and see if you can get in touch with other parents of new children.

I hope you and Mrs. are keeping a positive,happy attitude about this change :d Kids are resilient! much more than we think. She will be fine inshallah.

Edited November 4, 2015 by starlight

[Haji 2003]

 Kids are resilient! much more than we think. 

 

Don't worry this happened a few months ago and she is in the new school and is now too busy with new friends to remember any of the old ones!

[starlight]

I came across this.  I wish all dads and future dads give this a read.

A must read for dads who want to be the superheroes in their daughter's lives. :p  but useful for sons too. 

http://fromdatestodiapers.com/50-rules-for-dads-of-daughters/

[LeftCoastMom]

My husband got this sent to him from my brother:

 

[starlight]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3408599/New-book-urges-parents-reorder-life-sake-kids.html

Parenting advice from Dr.Leonard Sax authour of the book "The Collapse of Parenting"

Sax: The same is true with regard to a cellphone in the bedroom. You now find kids at 10, 12, 14, 16 years of age who have their phone in their bedroom at two (o'clock) in the morning. You take the device at night and you put it in the charger, which stays in the parents' bedroom. No child should have a phone in their bedroom unsupervised.

That's not just my opinion. That is the official teaching of the American Academy of Pediatrics in guidelines published (in) October 2013. But you would be astonished, or maybe you wouldn't be, how many parents find that an impossible recommendation. They feel that they have no authority over their child in many domains.

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The first thing is to teach humility, which is now the most un-American of virtues. When I meet with kids I ask them what they think it is and they literally have no idea. I've done that from third grade through 12th grade. The high school kids are more clueless than the third-graders .

They have been indoctrinated in their own awesomeness with no understanding of how this culture of bloated self-esteem leads to resentment.

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The second thing is to enjoy the time with your child. Don't multitask. Get outdoors with your child.

The last thing: Teach the meaning of life. It cannot be just about getting a good job. It's not just about achievement. It's about who you are as a human being. You must have an answer.

[h.ser]

I'm not a parent but l'll be. 

I know what children and kids ask their parents to be. They need who lives in their worlds not just theirs.