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Would You Be A Second Wife?

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6 hours ago, Christianlady said:

Salam Chaotic Muslem,

If any woman is married to a man who is a "monster" (who hurts her), I personally believe she needs to divorce him. No woman should ever be beaten by her husband.

Why? Because the husband is the protector of the wife. It's evil for the protector to hurt the woman he is supposed to protect!

The husband should not be the enemy of the wife; he should be the leader - the protector, the provider, the one who is willing to die to protect her.

A man who believes he is entitled to abuse his wife (or wives) in any way should be prosecuted in a court of law, because it is unacceptable for him to abuse a woman, including the woman or women he promised to love and protect. She/they needs protection from him.

The idea of either 1 woman or 2 women being beaten by a husband is so sad. :( No way.

God did not design marriage for a man to hurt a woman or women. God did design marriage for a man and a woman to be one flesh, a team that loves and protects and respects and blesses each other!!! :) 

If any woman finds herself being abused by her husband, she needs to get help immediately. While definitely her husband needs prayer, he also needs to be held accountable for how he treats his wife.

Peace and God bless you

 

 

 

The Quran has the following to say.

4_34.gif

Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the! Righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part you fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, do not seek against them means (of annoyance): for Allah is Most High, Great (above you all).
[4: Nissa-34]

 

 

 

4_3.gif

 

If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice,
[4: Nissa-3]

This is a great message of the Qur'an. The Qur'an is easy to understand most of the time.

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On ‎5‎/‎4‎/‎2016 at 11:30 AM, Christianlady said:

Salam Chaotic Muslem,

If any woman is married to a man who is a "monster" (who hurts her), I personally believe she needs to divorce him. No woman should ever be beaten by her husband.

Why? Because the husband is the protector of the wife. It's evil for the protector to hurt the woman he is supposed to protect!

The husband should not be the enemy of the wife; he should be the leader - the protector, the provider, the one who is willing to die to protect her.

A man who believes he is entitled to abuse his wife (or wives) in any way should be prosecuted in a court of law, because it is unacceptable for him to abuse a woman, including the woman or women he promised to love and protect. She/they needs protection from him.

The idea of either 1 woman or 2 women being beaten by a husband is so sad. :( No way.

God did not design marriage for a man to hurt a woman or women. God did design marriage for a man and a woman to be one flesh, a team that loves and protects and respects and blesses each other!!! :) 

If any woman finds herself being abused by her husband, she needs to get help immediately. While definitely her husband needs prayer, he also needs to be held accountable for how he treats his wife.

Peace and God bless you

 

 

 

and? 0o

That post waz sarcasm.

woman, man or whatever label one might holds, Islam says oppression is darkness in the day of judgment. Be it beating or stripping man from his belonging unjustly upon divorce.

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22 minutes ago, Chaotic Muslem said:

and? 0o

That post waz sarcasm.

woman, man or whatever label one might holds, Islam says oppression is darkness in the day of judgment. Be it beating or stripping man from his belonging unjustly upon divorce.

Salam Chaotic Muslem,

Oh, I didn't know your post was sarcastic. I am a very literal person, so often I don't understand sarcasm.

Sadly, there are many women around the world who suffer from being physically abused by their husbands. It's a very real horrible experience many women are suffering. :(

Abuse is never ok.

Peace and God bless you

Edited by Christianlady

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Salam 

Honestly speaking I don't understand why would a normal man need any other woman in his life when he has a wife and family??? 

Why would he wish to have 2 woman 

whether by mutah or permanent marriage?? 

Sabr and shukrr are not only for woman's but for every momin 

I would never agree to become a second wife nor will allow anybody to have a second wife 

Halal yea its halal 

But with this halal part where does the sabr and shukrr goes

A man should be patient and be thankful for what he hashas

And must satisfy his own family

Secondly if today he wishes 2 woman tomorrow he will ask for 3rd and then geT 4  

And deteriorate everybody's life

What if one woman ask man for such pathetic unethical unacceptable desires 

Will he allow or be OK offcrse not

M not here talking abt halal or haram it's just basic idea 

 

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6 hours ago, Irfani313 said:

^so dear sister, you and a couple others seem to me possessing more wisdom than Allahswt, the Prophet S, and Iams combined. 

No not at all 

I mentioned in my post m not talking about halal and Haram

It Was my Opinion 

I donno Islam m not a scholar 

I always say what I feel

And personally m extra possessive kind of a girl  

Let's not talk about my case 

But I learned in biology multiple   partnering Causes aids and many such diseases so I haven't seen this withb islamIc point of you

Am sure that multiple partning must be haram in Islam as well

I am not saying Allah knows nothing indeed he is the creator he knows best for us

But lastly my opinion would remain the same why can't Man keep Patience and be thankful for what he has 

Instead he wishes to get another woman in his life 

Can someone explain me why 

Why only she will Show Patience' For everything and he will obey his nafs...

 

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10 hours ago, Irfani313 said:

^so dear sister, you and a couple others seem to me possessing more wisdom than Allah swt, the Prophet S, and Imams combined. 

The problem is she is only thinking from her perspective and experience.

Just because something is halal does not mean it is a good idea for everyone. However, the fact it is halal means it is probably a good idea for someone at some point.

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3 hours ago, iraqi_shia said:

The problem is she is only thinking from her perspective and experience.

Just because something is halal does not mean it is a good idea for everyone. However, the fact it is halal means it is probably a good idea for someone at some point.

I'm glad you said it, I recently came to know of a couple of couples in the West who are married in multiple marriages, women never believed in it just like the sister above, till they got divorced and in both cases initiated the proposal, more for the sake of their children having a father figure and less for everything else.

AIDs/STDs are caused in haram relationships, I've never heard of anyone getting in STD in halal relationships due to the relationships. Again ignorance and giving opinion out of our nafs!!

May Allah swt give fiqhi wisdom to all of us, whether we have the need of that particular fiqhi need or not. 

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Salam 

True its my perspective not experience m spinster  

And also it's my fault and ignorance abt the fiqh 

But still I feel the same

Like i stand for what i said 

except that of disease part perspective don't change over night 

 

 

Edited by Pearl3112

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I do not know  how any man can marry more then 1, if 1 is hard to keep happy these days lol Imagine keeping all of them happy equally now that would be a husbands hardest challenge, I rather attempt to stop eating for a month lol

Regarding hurting ones wife, well that is totally disgraceful. ,

I was married for 15 years, during those years I bent over awkward to try and keep her happy including drowning in debts,

One day I woke up and said enough is enough. 

Now I am divorced lol 

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8 minutes ago, Journey of Truth said:

I do not know  how any man can marry more then 1, if 1 is hard to keep happy these days lol Imagine keeping all of them happy equally now that would be a husbands hardest challenge, I rather attempt to stop eating for a month lol

Regarding hurting ones wife, well that is totally disgraceful. ,

I was married for 15 years, during those years I bent over awkward to try and keep her happy including drowning in debts,

One day I woke up and said enough is enough. 

Now I am divorced lol 

And still men wishes to have 2 wife surely now they will think 2wce after reading this ..lol

But nice and interesting divorce story

Edited by Pearl3112

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4 hours ago, Pearl3112 said:

And still men wishes to have 2 wife surely now they will think 2wce after reading this ..lol

But nice and interesting divorce story

These days it is just getting harder and harder, even if you have unlimited cash you will still find it hard to have more then 1 wife.

One of the conditions is to treat them all equally including loving them equally and in this day and age I truly doubt any man can love more then  1 woman at a time equally.

Hamdella Im living well now single with my 2 teenagers, however marriage is something the Prophet pbuh and the Ahlul Bayt a.s have advised as in the best interest of all especially towards your spirituality.

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4 hours ago, Journey of Truth said:

These days it is just getting harder and harpa, even if you have unlimited cash you will still find it hard to have more then 1 wife.

One of the conditions is to treat them all equally including loving them equally and in this day and age I truly doubt any man can love more then  1 woman at a time equally.

Hamdella Im living well now single with my 2 teenagers, however marriage is something the Prophet pbuh and the Ahlul Bayt a.s have advised as in the best interest of all especially towards your spirituality.

Alhamdulillah good that u r happy

Well yes infallibles have suggested but at times ppl impost marriage on pplz I don't know why 

1 hour ago, King said:

It is true women are generally quite expensive.

True woman's are expensive for this I would say proud to be woman ..lol

But the best Part of men's they find wife's expensive but for daughter they feel to bring world for her and still they think she is simple  And disserves much more 

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2 hours ago, King said:

It is true women are generally quite expensive.

Only if you find the wrong one. 

No, not wrong. There is nothing wrong with liking nice things. But if cost is an issue for a man, he should choose a wife who is content with a simple life. 

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Nshalla if I am ever blessed with a daughter I will nshalla give her everything that Allah swt has given me to give..... 

I have a problem and I think that is the main issue and its called spoiling, I believe that giving my family the best is the way to go, I think thats what ruined my marriage. 

When you keep giving the other partner expects this to not stop.

On another note, where are the women that are happy with a good life without being to materialistic ? in the last 3 years I have been searching for a wife and the first questions they ask is what car you drive or what house do you own??  :sorry:

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