Jump to content
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!) ×
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!)
In the Name of God بسم الله

Will Mutah Ruin Me?

Rate this topic


kiptanui

Recommended Posts

Good question.

The thing i've seen being done by some guys is that they "trick" the girl into reciting the mutah without her actually knowing what it is. Some say "hey, it's a tradition, just say these words". This in itself is haram because you are decieving the person. It's almost like tricking someone to sign a contract in a language they don't understand. And marriage, wether nikah or mutah, is in fact a contract.

If you want to do auch a thing in a halal way without trickery, then be up front and honest about it, explain to the girl/boy what it is and what the rulings are if they don't know.

 

I wish to share what i found,

 

So i said this:

In some schools of Islam, a man can go out with a woman if they feel really attracted to them and dont want to fall into the sin of premarital sex as some of you would know is banned in Islam.

There is a practice called 'Mut'ah' where its basically temporary marriage but it almost like dating however it allows a muslim to stay in the halal.

The rules are as follows:

The man and woman agree to how long they want this to last, they can renew the time period once its finished if they still want to be together.

The man must give a gift to the woman if she accepts and it can be anything she wants even 1p as long as they agree on it.

They can have sex and enjoy each other for that period and again renew the 'contract' between each other.

The girl has to be of the following: Jewish/Christian/Muslim (basically believe in God for it to be accepted).

All that happens is that the man would say ' I marry myself to you for the specified time and the specified gift we have agreed on'

and the woman just needs to say 'i agree'

Then that's it the guy can see the girl freely just like they were dating

Now if a guy and girl liked each other and the male said they must follow this procedure for them to be together, would the girl accept and not mind the process they have to do? Or would you find it weird and not accept?

 

Now the responses were like this:

 

I would 100% not be interested because making times and talking about the relationship that way doesn't seem organic to me, it seems artificial and just weird. I wouldn't be up for it.

 

I think that it is true like you said many men deceive them into not understanding it! i put no blame on a non-muslim for not accepting as from an outside perspective it may seem a weird thing, which is why i think so many people are accepting it to Muslims because they have no idea what they are saying.

 

Even in my family when i first learnt it, i was told to tell the girl to 'leave it all up to me and to give me her acceptance' and i recite it all. Obviously after reading i realised this was completely flawed and so i had to break it to her.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Advanced Member

If the parents can't help them, then who are you to judge them if they perform in something that is halal for them?

your thinkin is simplistic! is hallal so its okay .. thats how you think. but i say its not good to do. y? because islam is not just about restricted rules ........ its about all the rules. all of them.

in islam u cant harm urself. this mutah for casual sex between two 15 year olds is 'halal' if marja allows etc.... but it will harm them so its no longer good to do. go to other thread and read bright's post about harm.

is eating nuts halal in islam? yes of course! ...... is eating nuts for alergic person halal? no it isnt.

in islam u got to see all the rules .... not jus some of the rules.

a 15 year old virgn hijabi will get screwed up in the head with casual sex mutah. for her it is better to wait and abstain until perm marriage.

u know the boy can do mutah with different women every day. ist halal yes? u think thats good for a 15 year old in his head? no its isnt. conclusion it is harrm becasue it will harm him.

my conclusion, if mutah harms it is haraam.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

your thinkin is simplistic! is hallal so its okay .. thats how you think. but i say its not good to do. y? because islam is not just about restricted rules ........ its about all the rules. all of them.

in islam u cant harm urself. this mutah for casual sex between two 15 year olds is 'halal' if marja allows etc.... but it will harm them so its no longer good to do. go to other thread and read bright's post about harm.

is eating nuts halal in islam? yes of course! ...... is eating nuts for alergic person halal? no it isnt.

in islam u got to see all the rules .... not jus some of the rules.

a 15 year old virgn hijabi will get screwed up in the head with casual sex mutah. for her it is better to wait and abstain until perm marriage.

u know the boy can do mutah with different women every day. ist halal yes? u think thats good for a 15 year old in his head? no its isnt. conclusion it is harrm becasue it will harm him.

my conclusion, if mutah harms it is haraam.

Ok ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Advanced Member

i was in similar situation and mutah was not the answer for me because of same issues. Therefore, marriage is the permeant solution, so i hurried things up and married within soon as possible. And now i am waiting for my wife to get here, visa issue. But that will be sort it out.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Veteran Member

The things Allah made halal is always halal, and the things he made haram is always haram, except when it's a life or death situation. Such as eating pork when you have to other choice and you are about to die.

The prophet made mutah halal. Generally speaking, when you are spaeking in academic terms or gatherings, it is ok to try to research the justifications of it, but if you come to a conclusion or not, is irrelevant to the judgement itself; it's halal and you don't need to reason it or justify it. There is no where, as far as i know, in Islamic litterature whre you have to have a reason for Mutah. If two people who meet the requirements decide to do mutah, for whatever reason(sex, get to know eachother, play nintendo, do the samba) it doesn't matter, it's halal, and it has certain responsibilities that follows. If you both agree on these terms then no one is allowed to judge you or look at you in any different way, it's no more halal/haram than having a piece of peach for lunch.

Just look at this site alone where youth are practically imploding from the inside out, if their reasoning is that they don't want to sin and can't hold themselves from their sexual desires then who are we to jusge them?

 

And if someone doesn't want to we still have no reason to judge them. Just like i can decide to eat pancakes for breakfast or not, i am allowed to decide if i want to do mutah or not. And with pancakes i have to take into consideration of the risks same as i do with mutah.

Summed up: it's halal as long as you follow the rules, but it's not wajib, you can choose to do it if you want as long as you follow the perscribed rules. What exactly is the problem?

 

I can't get the image out of my head of people doing mutah for the sake of playing nintendo. I can just imagine it: if she is a vain girl, she will demand a copy of Earthbound as her mahr. If she is modest she will only ask for a copy of Mario Paint without the mouse. The contract will stipulate that they need to arrange a Smash Bros tournament every week. etc...

 

 

I want to meet people who do this. They sound like fun.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Development Team

I can't get the image out of my head of people doing mutah for the sake of playing nintendo. I can just imagine it: if she is a vain girl, she will demand a copy of Earthbound as her mahr. If she is modest she will only ask for a copy of Mario Paint without the mouse. The contract will stipulate that they need to arrange a Smash Bros tournament every week. etc...

I want to meet people who do this. They sound like fun.

Me too, but replace the Nintendo with a PS3/PC and the replace the titles with Total War:Atilla and Call of Duty and that would be my scenario.

Kiptanui, disputing about the permissibility over that is deemed halal is pointless, plus repenter's thinking was not simplistic, rather it's your thinking that is simplistic and repetitive and I think it was very rude of you to talk to him like that. You have repeated the same things ad nauseum and wasted five pages disputing the permissibility of mutah when you are not a scholar.

This thread should be locked, there are many threads on the subject, it's getting rather poisonous for the lack of a better word.

Edited by Gaius I. Caesar
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Advanced Member

I personally find this thread meaningless now - the OP is just not accepting anyone else's opinions (of course he doesn't have to, but he can be a bit 'mannered' about it) and continues throwing pointless questions. if you don't think mutah is for you - don't do it, but don't waste such a lot of space on a debate so meaningless. 

 

excuse me notme this question is to rep ... and the guys who have his views. not everyone ... follows seestani too. so boy and girl got desires and marriage is wajib on them now ... and they know father will say no ...... WAJIB > MAKHROOH what do they do? ... commit haram or do makhrooh??? go on rep answer. sayin no one should judge them. go on.
notme in other thread u said short term casual realtionship is bad for girls ... so the question is not 4 u. its for .. these other guys.

 

and the OP keeps pointing out who should reply to this thread and who shouldn't..i mean...Gosh it's useless complaining isn't it? if mutah was sooo bad, Allah would surely not have permitted it, right? so who on Earth are we to debate whether it's good or bad -  if you don't like it, don't do it!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Advanced Member

Kiptanui, disputing about the permissibility over that is deemed halal is pointless, plus repenter's thinking was not simplistic, rather it's your thinking that is simplistic and repetitive and I think it was very rude of you to talk to him like that. You have repeated the same things ad nauseum and wasted five pages disputing the permissibility of mutah when you are not a scholar.

i am no disputing permissibility of mutah. people keep sayin that 4 nothing. i am disputin if mutha should be discouraged sometimes.... please understand

yes rep was simplisitc. mutah is not a free for all. every halal actions has consequences. if mutah is gonna harm a 16 year old girl badly, she shouldnt do it. abstaining is better.

quran 4.25 This is for him among you who feareth to commit sin. But to have patience would be better for you. Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.

see even Allah say it sometimes better to abstain.

risks of mutah:

std risk

heart break risk

make sex less special risk

attachment risk

get trouble with parent risk

safety risk with man violent

increase desire make u want more risk

PREGNANCY risk!

dont close thread .... im gonna post alims opinion

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Forum Administrators

i hate hate hate the idea of mutah but its wajib on me. why do i do :( ?? i will ruin my future?

If mutah is wajib on you, why are you telling us it is bad for numerous reasons? :dry:

 

hello all. some time back ... some woman asked me to do mutah ... i said no. i had a few other chances too and dropped out. i got cold feet. i think its cause i am quite good lookin, have a good job and mature. all the women are divorced. sometimes i think they want to lure me with mutah for perm nikah.

If you limit your conversation with women to things related to work or education, and be serious with them, they would not even mention private issues such as mutah or nikah.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Development Team

i am no disputing permissibility of mutah. people keep sayin that 4 nothing. i am disputin if mutha should be discouraged sometimes.... please understand

yes rep was simplisitc. mutah is not a free for all. every halal actions has consequences. if mutah is gonna harm a 16 year old girl badly, she shouldnt do it. abstaining is better.

quran 4.25 This is for him among you who feareth to commit sin. But to have patience would be better for you. Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.

see even Allah say it sometimes better to abstain.

risks of mutah:

std risk

heart break risk

make sex less special risk

attachment risk

get trouble with parent risk

safety risk with man violent

increase desire make u want more risk

PREGNANCY risk!

dont close thread .... im gonna post alims opinion

Okay, I see your point now, and if I am not mistaken, doing mutah requires mental maturity on the part of both parties. But why you are telling us that mutah is bad for us when you were originally worried about it ruining you. If you are certain that it is bad for you, then practice restraint until you find someone for nikah, makes no sense to scold others who are supportive of mutah. Besides it's wajib according to scholars like Sistani. Edited by Gaius I. Caesar
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Advanced Member

Gaius I. Caesar i am on tellin u to not do mutha. you got desires? u find a nice girl to have a relationship? go do do mutah ...i willl even recite ur aqd. for the 10000000th time ...... i am not anti mutha.

what i am anti is when people say ... every type of mutha - casual sex, 1 hour mutha, anythin .. for everyone is all cool. like repenter sed if two teen wanna do it its all cool. bro a 15 years old hijabi gurl who got raised is not good if she does casual sex mutah ... so dont encourage her.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Advanced Member

If mutah is wajib on you, why are you telling us it is bad for numerous reasons? :dry:

cause its haraam vs haraam.

is it okay if i .... do mutah for 1 month with one women ... then i dont want to get emotionally attached i go to another woman .. then repeat.

all for sex .... try to avoid emotions.

tell me is this nice for me ... or fro the womans? ....... i dont think so.

its will cause lots and lots and .. lots of depression and ... heartbreak..

harming urself and lots of womans is haraam. ...... BIGGER haraam.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Development Team

I'm paranoid and scared just like you about everything, so I understand.  But everything has risks.  Let me add another one, in authentic style:

 

risks of breathing:

 

pollution risk

allergy risk

koodies risk

germs risk

breathing bad stuff risk

all those chemicals and what they do to you risk

taking somebody else's air risk

smoking risk

addiction and dependence on breathing risk

lung injury risk

wasting earth's resources risk

COUGHING risk!!!!

Lol at the cooties risk.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Advanced Member

I haven't gone through this entire thread (and I don't really have any plans to actually carrying out this task after briefly surveying its contents..), so I'm sure this question has been on the minds of some people here, perhaps even asked before. Assuming your the irresistable chap the OP suggests, then why don't you just get permanently married to a girl and this saga once and for all? 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Advanced Member

Dear brother Kiptanui:

Please read my related post #9 on this link http://www.shiachat.com/forum/topic/235031903-marriage-before-and-after/

In a nutshell I used to think exactly like you before I got married years ago but this beautiful Quranic concept of Islam literally salvaged my marriage. Unless you have any serious medical or emotional issues which prohibit you from the company of your wife, you will realize how important it is to accept the will of Allah swt about the aqd of mutah without setting the conditions on yourself. Accepting the will of Allah swt is critical to the extent that Allah swt does not even like us humans to abandon honey as was evident from an event in the life of our dear prophet (pbuh). I pray that Allah gives you patience and make things easy for you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I haven't gone through this entire thread (and I don't really have any plans to actually carrying out this task after briefly surveying its contents..), so I'm sure this question has been on the minds of some people here, perhaps even asked before. Assuming your the irresistable chap the OP suggests, then why don't you just get permanently married to a girl and this saga once and for all? 

What would you advise to a brother like me who is 18, and at University i am bombarded by sexual distractions all the time (even hear people doing it) and its extremely hard to engage in Mut'ah since most girls just wont observe an iddah period.
 
I have spoken to my parents and they say just 'toughen up' and are highly against the idea of early marriage.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Veteran Member

What would you advise to a brother like me who is 18, and at University i am bombarded by sexual distractions all the time (even hear people doing it) and its extremely hard to engage in Mut'ah since most girls just wont observe an iddah period.

 

I have spoken to my parents and they say just 'toughen up' and are highly against the idea of early marriage.

I'll agree with your parents.  It's not easy, but it's completely doable.  I know plenty of brothers who've been in similar situations as yourself, including myself, and we've all succeeded.  If you're 18 I think you should tell your parents to start looking to get you parried by the time you're 21-23.  Just be aware that it's not easy to get married these days unless you're employed and capable of supporting a girl on your own.  Most girls don't want to move in with you and your parents.  

 

Also, you should never let it get to a point with a girl where you could be in a position to commit zina.  Like you should never be drunk, and never get close to drunk girls who might be a little disinhibited.  You should also make it clear to any female classmates/acquaintances, if they start getting close, that Muslim men don't date, and they don't have girlfriends.  If you keep a respectful distance between yourself and girls, then you won't be in danger of committing zina.  It just won't happen.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Veteran Member

hello all. some time back ... some woman asked me to do mutah ... i said no. i had a few other chances too and dropped out. i got cold feet. i think its cause i am quite good lookin, have a good job and mature. all the women are divorced. sometimes i think they want to lure me with mutah for perm nikah. i wont marry a divorced cause i cant stand the image of her having sex with another guy .... and i havnt even kissed a girl.

i dont like the idea of mutah cause of many reasons. 1, i am a romantic guy and i want my first kiss etc to be with my future wife. 2, i am afraid of heart break for me and the temp wife. 3, i wont be able to lie to future wife about being virgin. ill hate myself ..... for not bein her exclusive. i will fell like a fraud 4, to avoid gettin attached i wont be doing mutah for long ...... so what then do multiple mutah one after another girl? 5, it will cheapen my perm wife if i do mutah. i wont think things are special with her cause i done it with others. 6, i will be scared it opens pandoras box cause i will want mutah when i am perm married. 7, i struggled so long to avoid mutah .. now i dont want to be a quitter.

but i am strugglin to find perm wife and i got desires :(

i hate hate hate the idea of mutah but its wajib on me. why do i do :( ?? i will ruin my future?

at least after mutah i might feel okay to marry a divorced girl .... but i will feel ashamed to marry a virgin. poor girl having to marry a mutah guy :(

 

For good advice on this, see the Ashley Madison thread.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...