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shia askari

What Is A Good Wife?

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Salam everyone.. i know there's different perspectives on what is a good wife for some people but can people describe to me what are some key points of a good wife..what are the roles they should take up. What should someone look for in a wife? That will make life easier for the future

Who are some wives that played a good role as a wife in islam

thanks in advance

salam

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Salaam alaikum,

Generally, a good wife is a woman who respects you and supportive of you as her husband. She is a garment of modesty to you as you are to her and she is a woman who is honest with her husband and someone you can entrust with your life. A good model of a wife to look at is Sayyida Fatima Zahra (as) and her relationship with her husband, Imam Ali (as). I may not be married but I know enough to say this to you.

Edited by Gaius I. Caesar

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One who tends to share your happiness and sad moments in life, one who will pull you up to stand on your feet while the world tries to knock you down. Marriage completes half of our Iman, a good wife would be the one who would help you protect and perfect the second half too. A good wife is one who connects you to your Lord when you are lost in the bewilderment. 

 

YA ALI

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Now some of these might seem obvious, but it's astonishing how many marriages lack even the obvious qualities needed. This would apply to men too.

 

1.  Respects you.

2.  Is willing to make compromises - in a marriage, there are a complex set of variables. A good wife is willing to understand she can't have her way all the time, and sometimes she needs to give in without kicking up a fuss before giving in. She needs to be able to make fair compromises politely.

3. Is physically attracted to you. It can be heart breaking to be married to someone who you try to hug and they move away, who you have to initiate everything to, who you can tell in their eyes just does not have a physical attraction towards you, and who complements other men - even if they are celebrities, and you can tell their attraction for them, and though you get the odd compliments, you can just tell the difference. This can anihilate ones self confidence, and can cause depression. I sadly know people in this situation.

4. You can talk about anything to them. Yes, we get bored, we have our off days, but if you find they consistently seem bored with the more mundane or intrinsic aspects of your life, that's a problem.

5. Someone that can rely on you. If your wife says she can't rely on you, that's heart breaking. How can you build a marriage when you can't even communicate and help each other?

6. Can communicate openly. If she doesn't communicate, a little bit like point 5, is not open to discussing her feelings, it can leave you confused at times.

7. Has good friends. Some religious shia women have other 'religious shia women friends' who constantly oggle over guys , discuss them, compliment them, even guys they know in real life and those people with the same eyes cry for Imam Hussain a.s. There's one thing having lust or desire privately(it's forbidden). but to do it so freely and openly with others is even worse.

 

 

My tips:

 

1. Don't go into a marriage until you have some way, either verbally or by behaviour to show that your future spouse is physically attracted to you OR if she isn't , she will love, respect and honour you just as much.

2. Have a little bit of room for leniance, don't be too strict with this criteria.

Edited by Tawheed313

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salam

what brother Qaim posted. feel as if The Holy Prophet (sawa) read my mind when saying that. its the absolute truth. and same for what He (sawa) said about men.

thank you for sharing Qaim. may Allah bless you

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الْحَسَنُ بْنُ مَحْبُوبٍ عَنْ عَلِيِّ بْنِ رِئَابٍ عَنْ أَبِي حَمْزَةَ قَالَ سَمِعْتُ جَابِراً الْأَنْصَارِيَّ يُحَدِّثُ قَالَ كُنَّا جُلُوساً مَعَ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ ص فَذَكَرْنَا النِّسَاءَ وَ فَضْلَ بَعْضِهِنَّ عَلَى بَعْضٍ فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ص أَ لَا أُخْبِرُكُمْ فَقُلْنَا بَلَى يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ فَأَخْبِرْنَا فَقَالَ إِنَّ مِنْ خَيْالْآكِلَ وَحْدَهُ الْمَانِعَ رِفْدَهُ الضَّارِبَ أَهْلَهُ وَ عَبْدَهُ الْبَخِيلَ الْمُلْجِئَ عِيَالَهُ إِلَى غَيْرِهِ الْعَاقَّ بِوَالِدَيْهِ

We said: “Yes.”

He said: “Surely, from the worst of your women are the low-standing among her family, the mighty with her husband, the infertile,

 

Not that i would ever question rasullah s.a.w's wisdom or morality , if this hadith is authentic, but some may argue that being infertile can come from simple biology, having cancer, and this is a little prejudiced towards those women who are mentally already suffering and very upset about being unable to have children, to be referred to in this way?

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Salams

Is this hadeeth authentic?

Sorry for asking but i am used to checking authentications for personal reasons

I also would like to ask about what Tawheed313 said

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Anyway, every person has his own package you just have to pick out what feels wright for you.

For example, alot of guys prefer that their wife asks their permission for every single thing, now i am not saying that is wrong, but some girls cannot live with that, so is she considered bad as a wife ofcourse not and on the other hand you will find men giving their wives freedom in that field and again is the man considered weak i doubt it.

honestly just ask her everything that comes to mind, and if she is a good muslim everything will fall into place nshalla

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Not that i would ever question rasullah s.a.w's wisdom or morality , if this hadith is authentic, but some may argue that being infertile can come from simple biology, having cancer, and this is a little prejudiced towards those women who are mentally already suffering and very upset about being unable to have children, to be referred to in this way?

Anger issues in men can also be biological or from a mental illness.

 

So I don't think having one of these problems and stating it as a problem is wrong, surely part of an ideal woman is giving birth to children.

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