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In the Name of God بسم الله
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rowdybillo

Speaking With A Non-Mahram, Non Muslims Womens

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Asalamalekum,

 

Man are told to lower their gaze when they see a non mahram women, so they don't indulge in sexual sins. My question is that in the west, most women dress provocatively and inappropriately where ever you go. Most of the time a man can look away in such cases. But what about when it is neccesary to interact and have conversation with them like at job, grocery stores etc. What does a believer do, is it halal to talk to these womens when it is neccesary, or what about when it is not required. But can a man has coversation with non mahram or non hijabi women as long as it is withoit carnal desires?

 

I am under taqleed of Ayatollah sistani, and read his fatwas, but i am little confused and try to get some opinions?

 

thank you!

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Salam/Peace Rowdybillio,

 

The title of the thread needs to be changed to "Speaking".

 

One of the things that has greatly impressed me about some (not all because not all do this) Muslim men is that many strive to not lust after women who are not their wives. That is very important and very admirable, and does glorify God. :)

 

I have met Muslim male friends who do not shake my hand, and that's fine. I'm not a big fan of shaking hands myself. I am a hugger, but I have learned that it's not a good idea to hug a Muslim man, since it makes him really uncomfortable.

 

Some Muslim men, mostly from other cultures, don't look me in the eyes. That is a cultural thing, which in my culture means being scared but I learned that in many Muslim cultures, it means modesty and not lusting. So, it's fine not to shake hands or look in a Western woman's eyes.

 

I've never met a devout Muslim man who refused to talk with me though. Most strive to "revert" me, which again I have no problem with, seeing as how I know they want to save Non-Muslims from the eternal torture they believe awaits us. One Muslim friend used to scold me for my clothes until I became serious about my beliefs.

 

Basically, the following are rules I have for talking with Muslim men in the workplace and in town. 

 

Maybe if you want, you could reverse them for rules for talking with Non-Muslim women?

 

1. Don't be alone with a Muslim man. 

2. Make sure to talk in public, not in private.

3. Don't try to make eye contact unless the Muslim man understands eye contact is not being flirty and is a friend who has no problem with my culture and eye contact.

4. Be modest.

5. Don't touch him at all, not even his hand.

6. Be respectful.

7. It is best to talk more with Muslim women face to face than with Muslim men.

 

Peace and God bless you

 

Nice observations. Islam seeks to annihilate vices from its roots, I know for non-Muslims it doesn't make much sense the no handshake and all that, even for me when I was learning about Islam, since in my culture we kiss on the cheek to greet so I grew up with that and never thought it could be something bad which in itself it isn't bad but it opens many more doors when men and women can touch freely or like when some of my non-Muslim friends say that having one drink won't do anything, and many other examples.

The point is, sometimes we don't really know our weaknesses until they are presented before us, so Islam seeks to protect us, by not even trying things that could potentially lead to harm.

 

 I'm just surprised at the fact that they would scold you for your clothing and that they would try to revert you because in Islam we don't believe that non-Muslims will automatically experience eternal torture, go to hell etc...

 

So if some Muslims believe that it worries me, we are taught to respect people's beliefs and we know that Allah is the most merciful and will judge us according to our capacities and deeds. 

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 I'm just surprised at the fact that they would scold you for your clothing and that they would try to revert you because in Islam we don't believe that non-Muslims will automatically experience eternal torture, go to hell etc...

 

So if some Muslims believe that it worries me, we are taught to respect people's beliefs and we know that Allah is the most merciful and will judge us according to our capacities and deeds. 

 

Salam/Shalom/Peace StarryNight,

 

My experience is with Sunni Muslims. They tend to in general be more into giving dawah in my experience. Some of my Sunni friends do believe that people who have chosen to not accept Muhammad will go to eternal torture yes. They don't believe that one can reject Muhammad and not suffer eternal consequences for that.

 

As for scolding me for my clothes, I've been reminded several times on Shiachat about Paul's command for women to cover their heads, so that's not new to me. :) If Jesus had specifically commanded women to wear a head covering, I would. I don't follow Paul though. God did use my Muslim friend's scolding to remind me to dress modestly, and I am thankful for that scolding. :)

 

I do love the colorful hijabs that many Muslim ladies wear. :) And, I love when they voluntarily (not due to man-made laws) wear them because they believe Allah wants them to do so.

 

Peace and God bless you

Edited by Christianlady

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