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In the Name of God بسم الله
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YaaAllah

Moving On From Heartbreak

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Salam alaykom drar brothers and sister.

I love this girl and she moved on, i want to do that too. I want to move on with my life. I just dont know how. Please send some tips on how I can move on.

Wa salam

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go and help brothers in syria, help physically challenged kids, help old age  people, sweep masjid and wash masjid bathrooms.

 

do all this and you will move on too.

Edited by Highflyer

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The whole love the person you marry notion is bull. I've loved my husband who was chosen by my mum for the past 6 years only to have him turn into a bloody monster. 

 

Same is the case with plenty others around me. Not saying that arranged marriages dont work, but they've mostly turned disastrous. 

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The whole love the person you marry notion is bull. I've loved my husband who was chosen by my mum for the past 6 years only to have him turn into a bloody monster. 

 

Same is the case with plenty others around me. Not saying that arranged marriages dont work, but they've mostly turned disastrous.

It's bull because he left? You clearly didn't understand the message of the saying. The whole point is if you love the person before you marry them, it blinds you to many things, and also introduces risks, such as depression if it doesn't work out. But if you have a clear mind before you marry someone then the risk of having misjudged the person and you two fitting together is lessened by a great deal.

There are of course exceptions such as your case, but to dismiss the entire saying because you were the exception is bull, not the saying.

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It's bull because he left? You clearly didn't understand the message of the saying. The whole point is if you love the person before you marry them, it blinds you to many things, and also introduces risks, such as depression if it doesn't work out. But if you have a clear mind before you marry someone then the risk of having misjudged the person and you two fitting together is lessened by a great deal.

There are of course exceptions such as your case, but to dismiss the entire saying because you were the exception is bull, not the saying.

He left? Who left? Why are you being so mean when I'm just stating MY opinions and MY experience and basing my judgment of the saying on MY LIFE? 

 

Try being more compassionate Repenter. Surely Islam teaches you that, right? You don't know NOTHING about my life so instead of mocking me and my thoughts over it.

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He left? Who left? Why are you being so mean when I'm just stating MY opinions and MY experience and basing my judgment of the saying on MY LIFE? 

 

Try being more compassionate Repenter. Surely Islam teaches you that, right? You don't know NOTHING about my life so instead of mocking me and my thoughts over it.

I wasn't being mean. You just have a hard time reading or understanding what i am saying. Writing in cap locks and becoming the victim won't be a constructive approach. I quoted a saying which i belive is from Imam Reza, and you called the saying bull. So before you go on a rampage of rants, try to digest the meaning of the saying instead of thinking people are judging you or even talking about you.

That being said, i was giving advice to the thread starter for the future because that advice lessens the risk of falling into bad situations, it doesn't eliminate the risk. You clearly didn't understand that part, and i pointed out that you might be that exception.

And no, i don't know anything about your life nor did i talk about it, so why that is relevant is beyond me.

Now, calm yourself and answer properly.

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To the OP: try to engage in things that are emotionally fulfilling, do some volunteer work with handicapped or sick people, go visit an orphanage,take some little presents for the kids and spend time with them ( this is what I do when I am feeling low and it always works) ,help an elderly couple living alone... These things will fill the void that you are feeling because of the breakup,give you lots of positive energy and last but not the least you will get an opportunity to collect sawab for akhira.

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Salam alaykom drar brothers and sister.

I love this girl and she moved on, i want to do that too. I want to move on with my life. I just dont know how. Please send some tips on how I can move on.

Wa salam

 

 

As someone else mentioned, time will be your healer. 

 

Don't dwell on the issue and instead keep yourself busy with other things. Be productive; work, gym, see friends, make a to-do list for those times you're alone and smash it - you'll achieve a lot and while you would have lost this person (or walked away from them) you would have gained something from your productivity! Time will fizzle out your emotions and sooner or later, when you deduct the emotions, she or he will be just a 'person you once knew'. Many of us will go through something similar in life and it's hard 'at first', yes, but with time one can move on and come out even stronger. A successful person never comes out of a difficult situation without taking something away from it.

 

Connect with and confide in Allah [swt] and be mindful of his presence during your difficult time. He is there whether you like it or not. He will help if you choose to rely on Him with good intent and sincerity. But He works very mysteriously and this can be frustrating for us feeble humans who demand immediate intervention. Though remember He works with great foresight and knows better how to navigate through your problem; an immediate fix is not always better than one which 'unfolds' gradually and involves a more complex process than only He understands. He  answers the prayers of the sincere but works mysteriously and with holistic vision so be patient during difficulty, it will make you a stronger and more refined person. The successful person allows hardship to transforms him or her into the steel which hardens with each blow.  

 

As someone else mentioned, there is great value in the lessons and advice given to us by the illustrious Imams [as] and we often only realise their true value only with life experience. "Love the one you marry". This doesn't mean we pair up with just 'anyone' and rely on this hadith. It means we observe the Islamic etiquette when exploring a potential partner for marriage. Explore the person, their characteristics, life plans and habits and make a 'rational' not 'emotive' judgement to purse a relationship. When the foundations are established then it's safe for one to let their wall down and become emotionally involved and 'step into love' rather than helplessly 'fall' into it with your eyes blinded.

 

 

 

Edited by MajiC

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Don't marry the girl you love, but love the girl you marry

 

 

I respectfully disagree.

 

The girl that you marry might turn out to be a total nightmare to live with so how on earth do you learn to "love" a back biting, conniving and worst of all a disrespectful partner?!

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I respectfully disagree.

 

The girl that you marry might turn out to be a total nightmare to live with so how on earth do you learn to "love" a back biting, conniving and worst of all a disrespectful partner?!

well, at least try.......there is a small chance that she/he might get her act together because of love

Giving her a taste of her own medicine eliminates even this small chance.

 

the above is in the case if one has decided  to continue the marriage for....... whatever reason.

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I respectfully disagree.

 

The girl that you marry might turn out to be a total nightmare to live with so how on earth do you learn to "love" a back biting, conniving and worst of all a disrespectful partner?!

 

Talaq is always an option.

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See. you gotta test them for a few months. Then get kids... cause then your in a problem.

LOL. You do know how kids are made, right? So you propose a person wait until they've been married for a few months, long enough to test the spouse, before they do that?

Nice idea, but I doubt you'll convince many to try it.

Test what,your car?

Yeah. Clearly he's never married.

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LOL. You do know how kids are made, right? So you propose a person wait until they've been married for a few months, long enough to test the spouse, before they do that?

Nice idea, but I doubt you'll convince many to try it.

Yeah. Clearly he's never married.

 

What about the stuff they use to prevent pregnancy?

Test what,your car?

 

Test your partner like how you test your friend.

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Just to get back to the original question,

 

Did you suspect any mental complication with the x partner (male/female) such as Borderline or Bipolar disorder?

If so such as BPD you should be thank full to Almighty for the separation this early on. 

(some common features, non stop traumatic drama, hyper sexuality, verbal abuse, false /non factual acquisition, roller coaster high and low prospect, black & white view)

 

I pray to Allah swt to have peace in your heart and mind.

 

Wa'salam

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Just to get back to the original question,

Did you suspect any mental complication with the x partner (male/female) such as Borderline or Bipolar disorder?

If so such as BPD you should be thank full to Almighty for the separation this early on.

(some common features, non stop traumatic drama, hyper sexuality, verbal abuse, false /non factual acquisition, roller coaster high and low prospect, black & white view)

I pray to Allah swt to have peace in your heart and mind.

Wa'salam

I dont understand. What do you mean?

Edited by YaaAllah

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Salaam

 

Look man.

 

Be the best version of yourself!!!

 

One day, she'll see you and regret her decision.

 

Get a haircut once a week. Wear Burberry Touch for men even around the house to ALWAYS smell good. Wear collared shirts and look respectable all the time. Brush and floss regularly. Get a gym membership and work out. Fresh shoes.

 

Trust me. If you are living as a good Muslim, always praying and what not -- and she rejects you -- then there is some ugliness in her heart, darkened with disease.

 

She did you a favour.

 

Salaam

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Time does heal all wounds, she wasn't meant for you.. God has something better for you waiting give it time. I was recently in a heartbreak also.. still healing but you'll get through it. The only way is through Allah. Trust me use this to your advantage and work on your self from top to buttom spiritually mentally and release your pain physically working out or boxing. Take on new hobbies just stay away from the mind set that you need her when you don't. Your a man .. act like a man and show everyone your strong side inshallah but make sure ... i tell you this with alot of emphasis. . Make sure you progress in islam and Allah will best you with the happiest life because those who are most humble in this lifetime are the happiest.

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