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Being A Female

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Some times it gets uncomfortable to walk around when you're a female.

 

i feel like when guys see me or us, they always just think like AH, A WOMEN. Or when i get left alone with a men, i always get scared of whats going to happen, or what is he thinking in his head, But Males cant think that about Females when they're left alone or with bunch of Women's, because they know ladies won't really do anything or think evilly.

 

i kind of feel like we have modesty, & not always get evil thoughts in our heads. Unlike most males.

 

Like, walking around & having males stare at you, can they not lower their gaze, do they know how this poor girl is feeling inside, when getting stared at? They totally don't understand. 

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I guess you dont live in the UK. There are women just as lecherous as men here.

(at least in terms of being open about it).

I don't live in the UK.

 

Well i dunno, but Women's always have modesty,, they always say, ''Women have 99 more desires than Males do, but we have modesty. So i don't know about females in the UK. You'd find these kind of Men everywhere around the world!

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While all those guys used to stare you, you peeps in their eyes observing them yet you used to be scared ! Why dont you lower your gaze first instead ! Lower your gaze sister keep it on your way, everything will become fine. It depends on mentality also !

Plz dont mind if my words seems harsh.

Good luck

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While all those guys used to stare you, you peeps in their eyes observing them yet you used to be scared ! Why dont you lower your gaze first instead ! Lower your gaze sister keep it on your way, everything will become fine. It depends on mentality also !

Plz dont mind if my words seems harsh.

Good luck

Used to? They still do now, & allot of females complain about the same thing, i won't ever be the first or the last girl to get stared at. & Alhamdulilah, i don't walk around starring at guys, i genuinely just walk around facing up to see what's in front of me & then see guys starring, & then i feel bothered, it's nothing about how i dress as well, because i wear proper Muslim clothes, with out applying face make-up. 

Just cover up well and leave nothing for them to look at.

It's funny how you say that, first you should of asked about how i dress, & then state your opinion if you were going to say that, because first, i don't dress like western girls do, i wear proper clothes, with proper scarf, & always wear dark colours that won't attract, & i don't wear full face make up like most girls do now days, Alhamdulilah, so i don't see where the problem is. & when ever i visit Countries wear you have to wear those long black things, those that are called ''Chador'' in Iran, i wear them, & still get looked at & still hear friends saying the same, the problem is with the Men's.

Women always have modesty? Lol, what about the half naked women walking around? And u tell us not to look.

Well you do know i was talking about Muslim women, not womens in general, because of course you won't find females with modesty in western country

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Some men, not all men.

When i mentioned ''Unlike some Men'', i was meaning it as in the whole subject, so i wasn't stating that all men are like that, but majority of them are, especially young ones.  

No offense but this could be labeled as a derogatory generalization of men.

I feel for you, really, and I would really like you not to feel uncomfortable, but still this doesn't justify this description of men.

Anyway, i'm sorry if this came out as rude, or offensive to any men out there, i was only stating what we see in this world now a days, & we shouldn't always blame it on the Men, because you could find females that are like that as well but rarely, this world we're leaving in right now, isn't like the world people use to live in before, most people are going to worse!

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I wasn't implying you are not dressing well when I said that, may be they find chador weird. 

 

You have to realize that only a minority of people in the world below 10% are practising Muslims when it comes to their eyes. Gotta learn to live in the world. 

 

Do you think I or any other young man don't find it difficult to keep halal and gaze low when everyone around us are dressing to impress, even the Hijabis wear chador but do something to their face which makes them look heavenly, Some lotions and "basics" I guess. 

 

So yeah, men suffer too, more than women in terms of Fasad.

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I wasn't implying you are not dressing well when I said that, may be they find chador weird. 

 

You have to realize that only a minority of people in the world below 10% are practising Muslims when it comes to their eyes. Gotta learn to live in the world. 

 

Do you think I or any other young man don't find it difficult to keep halal and gaze low when everyone around us are dressing to impress, even the Hijabis wear chador but do something to their face which makes them look heavenly, Some lotions and "basics" I guess. 

 

So yeah, men suffer too, more than women in terms of Fasad.

Well how could they find Chador weird when it's meant to be worn in Iran. It's not like i was saying i was wearing it here in Australia. Okay, Haram is on them for trying to impress, guys can be better than them and actually lower their gaze, instead of just stare at them, because you'd just be doing as much haram as she's doing, Every girl would like to be pretty, by either applying Make-up which is Haraam, or they are born with natural beauty, & that's not something a girl should do something about, thats how she was born.

it's the guys job now lower their gaze, that's just my opinion. Women's are all known to be beautiful & attractive, but that doesn't give men right to make a women feel uncomfortable, we're just as free as you are, so they can't always blame in on the girl & say it's her problem for attracting her self to others.

Edited by Rosaritaa

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Well how could they find Chador weird when it's meant to be worn in Iran. It's not like i was saying i was wearing it here in Australia. Okay, Haram is on them for trying to impress, guys can be better than them and actually lower their gaze, instead of just stare at them, because you'd just be doing as much haram as she's doing, Every girl would like to be pretty, by either applying Make-up which is Haraam, or they are born with natural beauty, & that's not something a girl should do something about, thats how she was born.

it's the guys job now lower their gaze, that's just my opinion. Women's are all known to be beautiful & attractive, but that doesn't give men right to make a women feel uncomfortable, we're just as free as you are, so they can't always blame in on the girl & say it's her problem for attracting her self to others.

 

Both the man and the woman have a responsibility. For the men, they should lower their gaze. For the women, they should cover themselves up and not over-beautify themselves so that they gain men attention. Both jobs are not easy, and dare I say the job is harder for men (in the West at least), but that's what we have to do.

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Both the man and the woman have a responsibility. For the men, they should lower their gaze. For the women, they should cover themselves up and not over-beautify themselves so that they gain men attention. Both jobs are not easy, and dare I say the job is harder for men (in the West at least), but that's what we have to do.

Well i can't say i'm not agreeing to that, you're right, but then guys are always putting the innocent girls in a sin, just by looking at them, if a girls intention wasn't to attract guys, she does all her responsibility right, but she just has a beautiful/lovely looking face, by having guys stare at her, she's gaining sin just because of the many guys that don't know how to lower their gaze, that isn't fair either, Allot of girls get unwanted attention, when there intention isn't meant to attract men

Well i can't say i'm not agreeing to that, you're right, but then guys are always putting the innocent girls in a sin, just by looking at them, if a girls intention wasn't to attract guys, she does all her responsibility right, but she just has a beautiful/lovely looking face, by having guys stare at her, she's gaining sin just because of the many guys that don't know how to lower their gaze, that isn't fair either, Allot of girls get unwanted attention, when there intention isn't meant to attract men

Well i can't say i'm not agreeing to that, you're right, but then guys are always putting the innocent girls in a sin, just by looking at them, if a girls intention wasn't to attract guys, she does all her responsibility right, but she just has a beautiful/lovely looking face, by having guys stare at her, she's gaining sin just because of the many guys that don't know how to lower their gaze, that isn't fair either, Allot of girls get unwanted attention, when their intention isn't meant to attract men

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Why do you even let yourself get bothered by staring men??

When I go out, I don't give a damn to who is looking at me and who isn't, I go about my way, not directly looking at anyone, men or women.

If find yourself in a situation where you are alone with a man, like in an elevator, and feel scared recite Ayat ul Kursi. Allah is the best Protector :)

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Well i can't say i'm not agreeing to that, you're right, but then guys are always putting the innocent girls in a sin, just by looking at them, if a girls intention wasn't to attract guys, she does all her responsibility right, but she just has a beautiful/lovely looking face, by having guys stare at her, she's gaining sin just because of the many guys that don't know how to lower their gaze, that isn't fair either, Allot of girls get unwanted attention, when there intention isn't meant to attract men

 

If she does everything right then she isn't gaining any sin, it's the people who are staring at her whom are gaining sin. Anyway, if it's really irritating that people look at her face because it is beautiful, she should just wear a face-covering. I know it's hard and requires sacrifice (although from my understanding some fuqaha like al-Khoei believe it's wajib ihtiyati).

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If she does everything right then she isn't gaining any sin, it's the people who are staring at her whom are gaining sin. Anyway, if it's really irritating that people look at her face because it is beautiful, she should just wear a face-covering. I know it's hard and requires sacrifice (although from my understanding some fuqaha like al-Khoei believe it's wajib ihtiyati).

It is hard to do that if you live in western country, or like me in Australia. If i was to do it, i just won't have that guts to wear it when i go out, because i haven't grew up wearing it, it will be something i'm not used to do, especially in front of people i know, like it's just like WOW, what are you doing? May Allah bless those ladies that wear it honestly, i always look at one that is wearing it, & sigh, & i always just say May Allah give me the strength or the guts to do the same in this country 

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It is hard to do that if you live in western country, or like me in Australia. If i was to do it, i just won't have that guts to wear it when i go out, because i haven't grew up wearing it, it will be something i'm not used to do, especially in front of people i know, like it's just like WOW, what are you doing? May Allah bless those ladies that wear it honestly, i always look at one that is wearing it, & sigh, & i always just say May Allah give me the strength or the guts to do the same in this country

 

Well the point was sister, it's the starers who will get the sins.

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(salam)

 

What you might consider modest in most cases is not really modest from a men's perspective.

Many women I know think it's ok to dress as they do and I'm talking of those that wear :Hijab.

It's also the way you walk, talk, act and even turn your face away, or even when you don't look, it is all signals to a man, even though you think it's nothing.

That's why you should ask your father, brother or uncle to get an honest opinion of the way you dress and act outside and seek advise from them.

And why are you walking alone, especially these days with islamophobia on steroids?

You are putting yourself at risk from many dangers , the stares from men being the least to be concerned.

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I feel very uncomfortable with any unknown female even with cousin sister whom i hardly met.

If ever such situation comes in my life , i tried to either sit outside house or stay on road .. even if she offered to stay in Drawing room.

I don't know but its very uncomfortable feeling. Lot of excuses or lies that time required to get rid :lol:

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(bismillah)

Salam, everyone.

 

There's a problem here. Our sister is offended by the way many of the men interact with women.

 

Now, we need a solution. I'll try my best. The best thing we can do in the case of men is bring about a change in attitude towards women. The most effective way to accomplish this is education. People need to be educated about the true spiritual status of women. This needs to be implemented in schools, universities and the workplaces. Western notions of femininity should be heavily  looked down upon. However, this will take time. What do we do in the mean time?

 

Personally, I would try to take a few lessons from this analogy. During war time, our victory is certain the moment the enemy surrenders. But until they do, one must be prepared to defend themselves with swords, arrows and shields.

 

So, my advise to you, dear sister--and I hope it can help--is to armor yourself with the blessings of your Lord. Make du'a to Him, so that He protects you from all the harm you fear. Leave no opening in your defenses. Put your trust in Al Muhaymin(swt), and let the rest be.

Take care,

Mithrandir.

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