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diracdeltafunc

Question For The Married(Both Brothers And Sisters

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Salaaam,

 

 

So what does it mean to you when the Prophet pbuh said that marriage is completing half of your faith? I have been pondering about this heavily and have realised (with utmost humility), I am religious enough to carry on my day to day activities as I pray 5 times a day, have tawqa, constantly reflect upon my deeds, implement justice in my life, go to majalis etc etc.

 

 

So why do i need to get married to get closer to God? What am I missing here??! What did you guys derive from marriage that made you more religious? I don't see anything that would make me do so.

 

 

Thanks.

Edited by diracdeltafunc

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(salam)

 

I also need clarification, so if you have 4 wives , and if they equate to half your :Deen , does that mean each wife represents only 1/8 of your :Deen?

And if this is the case, then is it not better to have 4 wives compared to one , reason being is that if you were to lose one of your wives from a polygamous marriage , you will still keep intact most of your :Deen, but in a monogamous marriage , you would lose 50% of your :Deen.

 

Getting back to the OP , I can not imagine a life without my  wives, from the day I became a man and well into my 50 s there has never been one day that I was without a wife/wives. I don't know what I will do without them, think about it what will i do with all that spare money I would have saved , like imagine all the Rolexes and Porsches i would of acquired , its so haram. And  all the spare time to myself, what a waste of life . Not to mention all my dreams that was thrown away to put theirs first, like how selfish of me . I need them to remind me of my humility, the weakness and deficiencies of a man such as myself, so I would be grateful to my :Creator. It is the greatest trial for a man to teach him patience and endurance, you haven't lived till your married. Like they say :

 

man is incomplete till he's married , then he is finished .

 

ws

Edited by :Sami II

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I dont really understand the quote either, but it could be that getting married and having children is, for most people, the best opportunity for becoming a more fully realised adult. I hesitate in saying that because some people wont have marriage and children as part of their life path and will nonetheless have profound and important experiences that help them grow, impact the world positively and bring them closer to Allah, so their lives arent necessarily less meaningful or purposeless for not having marriage and children. I do know that marriage helps you realise things about yourself that you probably wouldnt have otherwise though; it brings particular day to day challenges that you dont have in other kinds of relationships in quite the same way. The responsibility and compromise needed for a good marriage matures you and raising a child/children is the most important thing you can ever do imo.

 

Short version: maybe the particular challenges/tests of marriage offer the potential of becoming a better realised/God conscious person.

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Salams 

 

The saying ‘marriage is half your deen’ has perhaps lost its true meaning and spirit. We have all seen too many marriages that are hardly an example of ‘half the deen’. Nevertheless, as single Muslims, we may assume that our current religious efforts and our social activities are a testament to a happy normal life. Unfortunately, as I see it, we still remain lonely and desperate individuals; our hormones are like #$%^&*()_+!~<>?:"} and deep down we crave the companionship of someone (or some two, three or four :wink:) who is special and to whom we mean a lot. Therefore when you hopefully get married to a compatible person, it brings peace and calm in your life. Your body is back in homoeostasis and hormones are acting normal again ...{}....{}....{}....{}....{}....... You have a family unit of your own, you start to run its affairs, life introduces new challenges and there is sense of responsibility. The mutual commitment is tested over and over and strengthened through sacrifices, compromises, respect, and your tiny teeny ‘photocopies’ who run around the house like they own the joint, who bring lots of joy, challenges and memories in your life and who look up to you as a role model. You become the educator and you will leave behind a legacy as your family tends to follow your footsteps. If a good example is set by you, many generations of Muslims from your family tree, and everyone associated to them, will benefit from it thereby strengthening the spirit of religion. And lets just say, this service of yours is worthy of a Nobel peace prize in the Islamic world therefore you receive the honour of ‘’Exemplary completion of half your deen’. 

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Salams 

 

The saying ‘marriage is half your deen’ has perhaps lost its true meaning and spirit. We have all seen too many marriages that are hardly an example of ‘half the deen’. Nevertheless, as single Muslims, we may assume that our current religious efforts and our social activities are a testament to a happy normal life. Unfortunately, as I see it, we still remain lonely and desperate individuals; our hormones are like #$%^&*()_+!~<>?:"} and deep down we crave the companionship of someone (or some two, three or four :wink:) who is special and to whom we mean a lot. Therefore when you hopefully get married to a compatible person, it brings peace and calm in your life. Your body is back in homoeostasis and hormones are acting normal again ...{}....{}....{}....{}....{}....... You have a family unit of your own, you start to run its affairs, life introduces new challenges and there is sense of responsibility. The mutual commitment is tested over and over and strengthened through sacrifices, compromises, respect, and your tiny teeny ‘photocopies’ who run around the house like they own the joint, who bring lots of joy, challenges and memories in your life and who look up to you as a role model. You become the educator and you will leave behind a legacy as your family tends to follow your footsteps. If a good example is set by you, many generations of Muslims from your family tree, and everyone associated to them, will benefit from it thereby strengthening the spirit of religion. And lets just say, this service of yours is worthy of a Nobel peace prize in the Islamic world therefore you receive the honour of ‘’Exemplary completion of half your deen’. 

 

Walekum salaam. 

 

Thanks for such a detailed response. What I understand from your reply is that you need to get married as :

 

  • Your hormones are out of balance and you need to rebalance them
  • Have loads of kids
  • New challenges, tests etc which you pass to set an example to future generations.

 

I don't quote see how that is reaching closeness to God and hereby completing half your been? Surely the latter two points are directly as a result of the marriage and they would happen anyways. As for the first point, I may not directly agree with the hormones part but lets not discuss the satiation of one's physical needs as I respectfully want to keep this discussion spiritual.

 

I am trying to understand how does getting married bring you close to God when you believe that you are doing just fine anyways. 

 

 

Thanks!

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Walekum salaam. 

 

Thanks for such a detailed response. What I understand from your reply is that you need to get married as :

 

  • Your hormones are out of balance and you need to rebalance them
  • Have loads of kids
  • New challenges, tests etc which you pass to set an example to future generations.

 

I don't quote see how that is reaching closeness to God and hereby completing half your been? Surely the latter two points are directly as a result of the marriage and they would happen anyways. As for the first point, I may not directly agree with the hormones part but lets not discuss the satiation of one's physical needs as I respectfully want to keep this discussion spiritual.

 

I am trying to understand how does getting married bring you close to God when you believe that you are doing just fine anyways. 

 

 

Thanks!

 

I don't think its worthwhile to separate and compartmentalize the physical, spiritual, emotional dimension, etc.  It's all part of the package, all are important, and all make somebody human.  Of course its to rebalance hormones, not just lustful, but also the hormones of anger, jealously, anxiety, fear, etc.  And that directly affects one spiritual state. 

 

Perhaps marriage is the natural state of people, and being closer to God happens when one achieves a more natural state. 

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Walekum salaam. 

 

Thanks for such a detailed response. What I understand from your reply is that you need to get married as :

 

  • Your hormones are out of balance and you need to rebalance them
  • Have loads of kids
  • New challenges, tests etc which you pass to set an example to future generations.

 

I don't quote see how that is reaching closeness to God and hereby completing half your been? Surely the latter two points are directly as a result of the marriage and they would happen anyways. As for the first point, I may not directly agree with the hormones part but lets not discuss the satiation of one's physical needs as I respectfully want to keep this discussion spiritual.

 

I am trying to understand how does getting married bring you close to God when you believe that you are doing just fine anyways. 

 

 

Thanks!

 

Loads of kids? hehe in this day and age, try raising a few for starters...

 

Coming to the point, nearness to God is not really achieved by following a lifestyle that befits our own needs and personal choice. It is about following a lifestyle that is recommended by the religion; in this case highly recommended. Consider the example of sufis or dervesh who live a life of seclusion and remain firm that their devotion to God is limitless. On the contrary, Islam constantly reminds us to have a life of balance, a life of both social and personal responsibilities and commitments. Now in a religion which has higher than usual rights for neighbours as if they are part of our family, and fulfilling those rights by the way is a service to God, why are we finding it difficult to believe that meeting the high recommendation of marriage and owning a family unit will bring us closer to God and thus complete half our deen? Also are we not ignoring an important aspect of the discussion by ignoring point 1? After all which single macho man here wants to claim that he is determined enough to stay away from the things prohibited in the religion? How are we going to gain spirituality by not staying away from the prohibited things? We can surely keep the discussion spiritual but lets also be realistic.

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Half you deen meaning there are many aspects of the religion which you could not do i.e. would be irrelevant to you if you are not married. 

 

Examples of things that are irrelevant, not applicable to unmarried people 

 

Who you can and cannot marry 

Mahr(giving and receiving)

Wedding Day and Wedding Night

Dealing with Inlaws (so much fun, I know)

Pregnancy ( and also the husband helping the wife during this time)

Supporting the family

Raising and Educating Children

Having good aklaq with wife / husband and family

etc

 

These issues are, if not half the religion, are a good portion of it and there are many hadith and verses of Quran relating to these. Carrying out these things in a way that would please Allah(s.w.a) is a great source of Thawab (blessings), both in this life and the next. 

 

So unmarried people miss the trials and also the thawab related to these things. 

 

Unmarried people can be mumin / mumina, but it's much harder than for a married person for two reasons.

 

First, your wife and family is an easy source of thawab (blessings) which is readily available if you follow the injunctions of Ahl Al Bayt(a.s) and Holy Quran. It is like the low hanging fruit on a tree. A married person has an abundance of low hanging fruit (thawab) that they can easily pick. An unmarried person has fruit on the treee but it is higher up in the branches, so more effort must be expended in order to get the same amount of fruit. 

 

Second, married people have protection from certain sins that unmarried people don't have the same amount of protection from. 

Edited by Abu Hadi

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O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other (not that ye may despise (each other). Verily the most honoured of you in the sight of Allah is (he who is) the most righteous of you. And Allah has full knowledge and is well acquainted (with all things). (Al Hujurat 13)

 

Humanity is from a man and a woman. It is through the joining and the interaction of these two that the full concept of humanity is realized.

 

Here is a beautiful explanation of this from Adnan Ibrahim.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtiZjxpxiS0

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Salaaam,

 

 

So what does it mean to you when the Prophet pbuh said that marriage is completing half of your faith? I have been pondering about this heavily and have realised (with utmost humility), I am religious enough to carry on my day to day activities as I pray 5 times a day, have tawqa, constantly reflect upon my deeds, implement justice in my life, go to majalis etc etc.

 

 

So why do i need to get married to get closer to God? What am I missing here??! What did you guys derive from marriage that made you more religious? I don't see anything that would make me do so.

 

 

Thanks.

 

(salam)

 

Congratulations on you believing you are doing great on your own and that you are close to Allah swt by your own merits, that is indeed how it should be, but it does not stop at that! The mere fact that marriage is not an easy process, makes you deserve more nearness to Allah swt only if you know how to deal with the trials that marriage and family life brings to you. Allah swt says in Quran:

 

 
And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought. Quran 30:21
 

When you read that, and you see married people around you, do you notice the peace and tranquility? you may probably hear and read more complains and negative things perhaps, but the mere fact that Allah swt CREATED mates for ourselves to find tranquility in them...... you know how difficult that may be? from the moment of searching for a spouse, to the moment of living together everyday, to raising a family, managing finances, tastes, thoughts, etc...... only a person that has completed half of their deen can do a good job in fulfilling the other half by making marriage successful.

 

I believe that Allah swt gave us more potential to be near him than just through fasts, prayers, going to majalis, and all the good things you mentioned you possess, once again, congratulations and by you doing all that, you must possess wisdom to choose a spouse that will bring light to your life and by light I mean helping you go thru new experiences that will enhance your journey towards God. It is very easy to remain in our comfort zone, and disassociate ourselves from obligations or more difficult experiences, but in the end, hardships are the ones that truly make you more worthy of being closer to Allah swt, because marital hardships test your taqwa etc... and as the verse I mentioned above says at the end: ...Indeed in that are signs for people who reflect or give a thought.

 

So give it a thought! Don't deprive yourself of more blessings and more opportunities to grow!

Edited by StarryNight

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(salam)

 

Islam has always promoted the idea that religiousness is more achieved through marriage as opposed to celibacy.

 

-I don't think lust should be underestimated. The absence of companionship gets harder as one gets older and in trying to avoid falling into zina and haram relationships one gets gets caught up in other kinds of haram. Also, the absence of a spouse can many times be the source of idleness. Marriage and family fill up your time and make one more responsible. Also, the involvement of one with his wife and family is an act of worship.
 

((‘There are two things most people are tested with: health and idleness.’

(al-Kafi, v. 8, p. 152, no. 136)  ))

 

 

-Marriage and family fill up your time and make one more responsible. Also, the involvement of one with his spouse and family is an act of worship.

 

((Imām as-Ŝādiq (as) narrates that the Prophet (S) addressed one of his companions on the day of Friday and asked: “Are you fasting today?” (The companion) replied, “No.” The Prophet (S) asked: “Have you given anything as ŝadaqah today?” (The companion) replied, “No.” The Prophet (S) told him: “Go to your wife and that is your very ŝadaqah to her.”4))

 

-Remember that Islam has ordained nikah not only for precaution but also for pleasure.

 

((It is also narrated from Imām as-Ŝādiq (as): “Whether in this world or in the hereafter, one has not, and will not, perceived a pleasure more pleasurable than sexual relations with women, and certainly this is the commentary of the words of Allāh in the Qur`an, in Surat Āli-’ Imrān, verse 14 where He states: “To mankind has been made to seem decorous the love of (worldly) desires, including women and children.” He then said: “Indeed, the people of heaven do not take delight in the pleasures of heaven more than Nikah2; neither food nor drink has that much pleasure for them.”3))

 

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(salam)

 

"Complete your deen" ?

 

It is more like "Deplete your deen". Your emotions become depleted, your bank account becomes depleted, your friends become depleted, your time becomes depleted, :cry:

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Marriage is the Sunnah of the Holy Prophet SA and Ahlul Bayt AS. We have all heard or read that the prayer of a married person is equal to seventy prayers of an unmarried person. This shows that being married is preferable to staying unmarried, however marriage is not wajib. Marriage is mustahab, recommended to be performed and earns the person a reward.

2ـ رسولُ اللهِ (صَلَّيَ اللهُ عَلَيهِ وَ آلِهِ): ما بُنِيَ في الإسلامِ بِناءٌ أحَبَّ إلى اللّه‏ِ عزّوجلّ ، وأعَزَّ مِنَ التَّزويجِ.

2– The Prophet SA said, 'There is no institution in Islam more beloved and dearer to Allah than marriage.’[bihar al-Anwar, p. 222, no. 40]

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Hearing and reporting the benefits of marriage constantly is one thing, and that's easy, non-controversial, and requires no effort.  But actually doing it and helping others do it is another.

Edited by magma

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