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In the Name of God بسم الله
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Khalilallah

Pray For Me To Allah Please :)

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inshAllah khayr brother.

 

Whatever happens in our lives, whether we perceive it as good or bad, if it is not in our control, we should always perceive it as a blessing. We should be afraid of thinking we know more that Allah swt like when we ask for a job, a spouse or something and we believe we are ready and we have everything it takes to undergo such task, it may turn to ur detriment when we get such a blessing and then we fail to ur duty and it results in more harm than good.

 

Anyway just a thought, you should ask Allah swt for the best for u at every moment in ur life and trust 100% that there is only goodness in everything he provides for you as hard as it seems to believe it, it's the truth. Only HE knows truly who we are.

 

May Allah swt give you patience and whatever is best for you. 

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Because I am desperate to get closer and remain closer to Allah.

 

“Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: ‘We believe,’ and will not be tested. And We indeed tested those who were before them. And Allah will certainly make (it) known (the truth of) those who are true, and will certainly make (it) known (the falsehood of) those who are liars….” (Surat al `Ankabut, 2-4). 

In short: Tests are given to identify those who are sincere in faith. ​

Meaning, your trial itself of loneliness and desperation to obtain something is a means for you to get closer to Allah, if you were only to trust him and have faith in him, you wouldn't feel so desperate.

The more you hold on to the idea that only marriage will make you a better person and closer to Allah, the harder it will be for you to have a successful marriage.

 

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“Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: ‘We believe,’ and will not be tested. And We indeed tested those who were before them. And Allah will certainly make (it) known (the truth of) those who are true, and will certainly make (it) known (the falsehood of) those who are liars….” (Surat al `Ankabut, 2-4). 

In short: Tests are given to identify those who are sincere in faith. ​

Meaning, your trial itself of loneliness and desperation to obtain something is a means for you to get closer to Allah, if you were only to trust him and have faith in him, you wouldn't feel so desperate.

The more you hold on to the idea that only marriage will make you a better person and closer to Allah, the harder it will be for you to have a successful marriage.

 

 

Actually I had left the idea and decided to have patience until marriage comes my way but I didn't think it will come in a few days, even though I search for years, I am still surprised. 

 

And even now I thank Allah for whatever happens, if it fails then it is best but if it succeeds then marriage is best.

 

I meant as in getting closer by completing my Iman and having a solution for sins, Inshallah once married I won't have to worry about sexual sins.

 

I have realized the key is to practise caution and avoiding Haram and what may lead to haram but still lack of marriage causes mental issues and unnecessary mental hardship, I would prefer physical hardship against mental hardship any day if marriage solves mental issues and brings physical issues but if it brings more mental problems than solutions then marriage will be a test.

 

Inshallah it will go well, I have no intention to marry for looks or money and neither do they since I have neither looks or money, my filter has worked.

Edited by Khalilallah

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Salam K,

I'm so pleased for you. When are the families meeting, inshAllah, everything goes well?

Just remember, during those difficult patches in your marriage, don't give up

and keep on working at it.  We all have our funny moods, but if the intentions are correct

and you place your trust in Allah, then there is no reason things can't work out.

 

You have the prayers and backing of everyone here, so do keep us posted and let

us know how things develop.

 

Please pray for my children and I, as the stigma of being divorced is very difficult to

overcome. 

 

All the best

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Salam K,

I'm so pleased for you. When are the families meeting, inshAllah, everything goes well?

Just remember, during those difficult patches in your marriage, don't give up

and keep on working at it.  We all have our funny moods, but if the intentions are correct

and you place your trust in Allah, then there is no reason things can't work out.

 

Salam dear Sister

 

Thank you very much, the meeting will be arranged after I have consulted my parents. I appreciate your advice.

 

 

 

Please pray for my children and I, as the stigma of being divorced is very difficult to

overcome. 

 

All the best

The stigma does not come from intellect or Islam so please ignore them and try to find a group of Mo'mineen whose beliefs and views are in line with Islam. Pray to Allah to deliver you to someone who will appreciate you and your children. There are many Mo'mineen who would be happy to marry a divorced Saliha :)

Also I recommend you start Hawza, the environment will give you happiness and you will be learning about your religion.

 

If there is anything you need please feel free to contact me, I will be more than happy to help with anything you ask for. :)

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Thank you so much. Yes, I am sure that there are many brothers who do not mind divorced women with children,

but they are not so easy to come by.  It's true that the stigma comes from culture, but it's hard to make people understand.

I agree with you about Hawza, and I wish I could attend the classes there, but between the school run and part time work

it's not so easy. I study with Rebecca through OnlineShiaStudies, and the courses are great.  I have learnt a lot through Shaykh 

Haneef at the ICEL, but being immersed in the environment is completely different and far more beneficial, I agree.

I do not have enough posts to be able to contact you by PM, but thank you for your understanding and support.

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^ sister , the hawzah is biased when it comes to married and divorced women.I also planned to go there but couldn't because of this..

www.shiachat.com/forum/topic/235028029-divorced-women-studying-in-the-hawza/

sorry for going off topic, Bro khalilullah, hope u get married soon.

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Yes, I remember now that you mentioned this.  I think I was referring to the Hawza here in London, but because of the above reasons i am unable to attend classes.

I am concerned though that if I state divorce on my visa application to Iran for pilgrimage purposes, it will be rejected. Can anyone shed any light on this?  I am planning to travel with a group, the tour operator is very experienced.  


Dear Brother Life=Abbas, what is wrong, are you okay? 

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I do not have enough posts to be able to contact you by PM, but thank you for your understanding and support.

I have left my email on your profile feed, you can PM but the admins have taken the PM away from me. 

 

So leave me an email, its on your profile, delete it after you have my email.

 

 

^ sister , the hawzah is biased when it comes to married and divorced women.I also planned to go there but couldn't because of this..

www.shiachat.com/forum/topic/235028029-divorced-women-studying-in-the-hawza/

sorry for going off topic, Bro khalilullah, hope u get married soon.

They do have a reason for that you know, its not like the Ulema in Qom hate divorced people.

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Yes, I remember now that you mentioned this.  I think I was referring to the Hawza here in London, but because of the above reasons i am unable to attend classes.

I am concerned though that if I state divorce on my visa application to Iran for pilgrimage purposes, it will be rejected. Can anyone shed any light on this?  I am planning to travel with a group, the tour operator is very experienced.  

Dear Brother Life=Abbas, what is wrong, are you okay?

Dear. I cant say anything. But I need ur prayers for being a better Muslim. Not just better,even stay a Muslim

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I have left my email on your profile feed, you can PM but the admins have taken the PM away from me. 

 

So leave me an email, its on your profile, delete it after you have my email.

 

 

They do have a reason for that you know, its not like the Ulema in Qom hate divorced people.

and what is the reason :), please enlighten me

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and what is the reason :), please enlighten me

Lol I will ask a Sheikh for a reason, I don't work there so I don't know what the reason is. 

 

One reason I could think of and this is purely based on my tiny brain so forgive me if I am wrong:

 

You know Hawza is run on Khums, which is the Imam's right. They need this money for training Scholars to guide communities. Whereas if you just spend this limited money for providing free basic education to all women then there may be a shortage of funds for training scholars and besides the courses which we need to study can be taught by a local Alim anyway. 

 

As for the unmarried girls being allowed to study, I think this may be a favour and because they are younger and have no children then it may be easier for them to be managed.

 

This is from my little brain, its just a guess, and I am already seeing many flaws in this answer, so please don't take it as fact.

Edited by Khalilallah

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