Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
~ThePond~

Attending A Gay Marriage

Rate this topic

Recommended Posts

Salaam Alaikum brothers and sisters! My question today regards jurisprudence concerning attending gay marriage ceremonies.  I live in the United States, so this is a practice that is legal in many states.  I am a Muslim convert (hamdullilah) in a family that is only Christian.  My Uncle is getting married, and I know this is an awkward subject, but nonetheless I love as he is my family.  My whole immediate family was giving invitations, and this will take place in a few months from now in the state of Colorado. I am currently attending college but I live in NJ, and live with my family when I go home during school break. So my question is, what do I do? If I refuse to attend the ceremony I will be criticized by family and I will create conflict as well.  I find this is difficult matter as I strive to follow Islam as best as possible.

 

So my question is, what is the ruling on attending a gay marriage, is it absolutely haram? 

 

Thank you brothers and sisters, Salaam (:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Salaam bro

 

It is hard to go against family. In fact it is probably the hardest thing in the world to do (emotionally).

 

But sometimes it becomes necessary.

 

 

 

Attending a wedding is lending legitimacy to a marriage. You don't want to do that, for obvious reasons.

 

 

 

Take this, for example: if any of us has a family who is irreligious and, for example, has alcohol and pop music at his wedding. Even in this case, we are not permitted to attend that wedding. Even if the marriage is legitimate and between a man and woman, attending such a wedding is haraam upon us.

 

Your case is an even more extreme case, obviously.

 

 

If I were you, I would come up with the best excuse you can. Tell them you couldn't get off work, or that you have a final coming up. Something like that. You have to get out of this. You will regret going there, trust me. I have regretted many alcohol weddings. There is no way you won't regret attending a gay wedding.

Edited by baradar_jackson

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

“But if they strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not; but behave with them in the world kindly, and follow the path of him who turns to Me in repentance and in obedience. Then to Me will be your return, and I shall tell you what you used to do.”

(Aayah No’s 14 & 15, Surah Luqman, Chapter No. 31, Holy Qur’an).

So, I believe we should listen to our parents unless they force is to commit shirk. However, the person above could be true as well. Allah (SWT) and his Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) know best.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hard to tell but baradar gave a good point. Attending is lending legitimacy to a marriage. There are no homosexual marriages in a religious sense, but legal, and only in some countries. I have also been there, though. If you haven't asked your marja, maybe due to precaution you should give a respectful excuse to avoid attending the marriage.

 

You can always send a congratulation card to your uncle.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Prophet Lot's tribe was ruined for Sodomy but Allah has not ruined any tribe for fornication. So you know how serious fornication is but still no tribe in history has been ruined by Allah for it but people have been ruined for committing Sodomy.

 

Usually I am the kind of person who tries to be flexible but still within bounds of Sharia and I personally do not see any way you could justify attending a celebration of 2 sinners celebrating their sinful ways.

 

You and everything come from Allah and authority of family is also established by Allah so when they command you to do something which Allah forbids then they have lost their god given authority.

 

Follow what you religion says and make a stance here, who knows, may be this will shake the sense of morality within your people and make your uncle amend his ways.

Edited by Khalilallah

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Salam, 

 

 

From what I know, you cannot attend the ceremony, for the reasons mentioned above by Br. baradar. 

At the same time, you should not cut off relations with your uncle. 

You should explain to him that you are now muslim and your religion will not allow you to attend these sorts of ceremonies. 

At the same time, you should let him know that you still would like to call him or see him, provided that the circumstances in

which this happens does not involve any haram. 

 

I don't agree with those who say 'just come up with some excuse' to not go, say you are busy that day, etc. 

This is first of all lying, and second it is only postponing the inevitable confrontation. Third it is giving him/her uncle something

'over' him/her because when the confrontation does happen, he can and will  bring up this lying that the OP did and use it against him/her and maybe against the religion also. Allah(s.w.a) wants to preserve the dignity and honor of the muslims, so He(s.w.a) tells them not to lie and to be direct rather than sneaky. 

 

If he objects to this and gets angry and says he never wants to see you again or cuts off relationship with you, then there is 

no sin on you since you did your duty by Allah(s.w.a). That is the important thing, not how he reacts. 

 

It is easy to say and hard to do. I am a revert also

But this is the correct way and the way that will preserve your Iman and bring you closer to Allah(s.w.a)

 

 

 

We have a forum for reverts called http://migration313.org/discuss

 

Also the main site is http://migration313.org

Edited by Abu Hadi

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lying to avoid unnecessary confrontation is not always negative, especially when it comes to topics as this one. However you are right, it is always better to be sincere as long as the OP finds the appropiate situation to do so, if there is any. But probably it will strongly harm the uncle, just saying... (it will be even worse if he's christian and not convinced about his view on sexuality).

Edited by Bakir

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If it was me, it would depend on my relationship with my uncle.  Attending a gay marriage does not have to mean you endorse same sex marriages, you can just be doing so as a feature of your relationship, i.e your uncle would invite you to all kinds important personal events, it is because he loves you too, and it has nothing to do with your personal views on same sex marriage.  Obviously as a member of an organized faith you are obligated to follow its rules, and it is probably prohibited.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Make or arrange a polite excuse, then send your relative greetings and well-wishes without condoning his "marriage" or condemning him as a person. Family ties are important, but so are your own values.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If you can find a logical answer here is another situation.

 

Q: What we have to do when we are invited in a gathering where Non-Mahram girls are also available and there custom is to shake hand with every one?

 

A: Don't shake hand with males too, if it is required to visit there.

 

This Q/A is not from Marja , but from a Student of Islamic studies.

 

I don't think you can not put an excuse not to attend that ceremony. Stomach ache is common these days due to junk food.

Edited by alirex

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Salam,

I would rather go there, show no sign of cheerfulness and leave early, than not go and send a greeting card afterwards.

In the first option you clearly dissociate from the attitude but you don't cut family ties, while in the second option you explicitly condone their act, even hypocritically, which sounds worse to me.

Astagfirullah. Towbah. It is quite disgusting. May Allah save man from such evil. May Allah deter them from such a vile path.

Dear Ethics,

The brother comes for advice about a particular situation, not for a point of view over a matter.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

OMG you moslems have such narrow minded laws... and baradar is so uppity!~ I WILL be attending the next gay pride parade, inshallah!!!

 

OMG now we Shias will have a bad image in the world again! As if the Tutbir and mourning wailing malangs werent enough!!!~


WE MUST SAVE OUR IMAGE GUYS THINK ABOUT SHIA IMAGE


Do it for unity and the image!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If you can find a logical answer here is another situation.

 

Q: What we have to do when we are invited in a gathering where Non-Mahram girls are also available and there custom is to shake hand with every one?

 

A: Don't shake hand with males too, if it is required to visit there.

 

This Q/A is not from Marja , but from a Student of Islamic studies.

 

I don't think you can not put an excuse not to attend that ceremony. Stomach ache is common these days due to junk food.

 

A: Wear gloves and shake hands with Everyone. Wa Salam. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just send him a nice gift and say I'm sorry I couldn't make it. Get to the point and make it simple. No need to explain. Btw love how everyone has an opinion. Let us know what happens

Or wait. ..Is giving a gift like shrik As in ur participating in agreeing to the event

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yet my tax money goes to pay for condoms and pills at planned parenthood so straight pepole can have a "gay ol time" ?

Thanks I don't need this selective morality ....

Yeah if u want to pretend to be a 100% muslim GO LIVE IN A MUSLIM COUNTRY

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yet my tax money goes to pay for condoms and pills at planned parenthood so straight pepole can have a "gay ol time" ?

Thanks I don't need this selective morality ....

Yeah if u want to pretend to be a 100% muslim GO LIVE IN A MUSLIM COUNTRY

 

 

Surely both heterosexuality and homosexuality are discriminatory? Only bi's should be allowed. Actually that's speciesist. Both genders and all animals for true equality.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yet my tax money goes to pay for condoms and pills at planned parenthood so straight pepole can have a "gay ol time" ?

Thanks I don't need this selective morality ....

Yeah if u want to pretend to be a 100% muslim GO LIVE IN A MUSLIM COUNTRY

Flawed analogy. The government is secular first of all. Second, it isn't in my control. The taxes that do end up going to such causes, is not in my power to choose who gets them and who doesn't. You see, what the user of birth control and condoms do is not in my ability. The character and orientation is never certain. If it was absolute then sure you may have an argument. It can as well go to a halal marriage Muslim couple. Therefore, such comments are ridiculous. FYI, no matter where you live and how the government is, has no affect on YOUR morality. Therefore it cannot be selective. Unless their moral views become incumbent on yours. But even then if it is forced, you cannot be blamed on judgement day. Edited by Ethics

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

^you are missing the point NO ONE IS FORCING YOU TO LIVE IN A NON MUSLIM COUNTRY

Yes it does if u claim to be a pious muslim yet CHOOSE to live in nonmuslim country then that's not acceptable

Morality is not just what's in your pants if your taxes cause oppression then you are liable too unless u rise up against oppressors or at least try to ....cannot blame nonmuslim for oppression when our own muslim countries are the biggest culprits

Edited by Panzerwaffe

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...