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Mimz93

Sunni And Shia Marriages?

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Salam all :)

 

I need some help. I am a sunni girl who is with a shia boy. I have learnt so much about Shiism, and believe that many of the teachings are the correct way. We both want to get married, his family has no problems but I am afraid mine will due to culture clash and now the differences of our sects. What am I to do? He has good deen and character and I believe is leading me to the straight path of the deen, if my parents say no does this not fall under un-islamic grounds? I do not want to disobey my parents but I am very happy with this person. I've heard many people say your marriage is invalid without your fathers consent etc?

 

Thank you!

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Don't marry based on your own opinion, ask your parents to have a look at them and also have a Shia scholar have a look at him if your parents discriminate. 

 

There may be some problems within each of you that both of you do not see because you are blinded by love.

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(salam), because the man is a Shia, I shall assume, if he is a true follower of the ahlulbayt a.s to respect your beliefs. In this then there seems no issue, as long as you both are under the banner of Allah swt, and take this marriage as a pact under Allah. If your family has issues, try to discuss and change their opinion, if it is only because of faith and religion. If there are issues with this man, then make sure to hear your parents opinions well, as they care for you.They maybe afraid of a forced conversion to Shia Islam, which maybe you can ask your interested man and his family to speak about this matter to your parents and insure them that, there will be no such thing, as it is not the way of the ahlulbayt a.s. If, no matter what, they seem irrational and would not allow you, from a Shia perspective, if you are an adult, you need not your parents permission to marry, as you are doing it for Allah. Just make sure, if you are still a sunni, to abide by your schools ideology. InshAllah, I hope this goes by the will of Allah, and maybe in the meantime, you can understand Shia Islam more, through checking out lectures and articles, and books on Shia Islam ^_^

 

Links of articles about marriage in Islam: http://www.duas.org/matri1.htm

 

Website to watch Islamic Lectures: Particularly Hassanain Rajabali or just search his name up on youtube
Books and Articles Regarding Every Single Subject Particularly Shia Islam's views

Want to ask a question? Looking for answers to particular questions regarding Islam? Click Here

http://www.sistani.org/index.php?lang=eng (Everything Islamic Law related. Rulings. This is a Shia Marja, Sistani's website)

Al-Hadi.us - Great website to see research done on Shia and Sunni Islam, and Christianity. If you are seeking to find the truth.

Edited by Ethics

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When the Prophet pbuh/hf asked the Muslims to migrate at the start, many came to the prophet and told him my parents do not approve of this and you say we must listen to our parents. His reply was , when ever your parents opinion clash with that of Allah swt then always take the path of Allah swt over your parents but remain respectful of your parents no matter what.

 

I have 1 question for you sister, do you work? is your father sustaining you financially ? it is very important we know the answer to this because there are special rulings as well for females and males who do not require parents as they work and self sufficient. (without a doubt Allah swt does sustain us all)

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(salam), because the man is a Shia, I shall assume, if he is a true follower of the ahlulbayt a.s to respect your beliefs. In this then there seems no issue, as long as you both are under the banner of Allah swt, and take this marriage as a pact under Allah. If your family has issues, try to discuss and change their opinion, if it is only because of faith and religion. If there are issues with this man, then make sure to hear your parents opinions well, as they care for you.They maybe afraid of a forced conversion to Shia Islam, which maybe you can ask your interested man and his family to speak about this matter to your parents and insure them that, there will be no such thing, as it is not the way of the ahlulbayt a.s. If, no matter what, they seem irrational and would not allow you, from a Shia perspective, if you are an adult, you need not your parents permission to marry, as you are doing it for Allah. Just make sure, if you are still a sunni, to abide by your schools ideology. InshAllah, I hope this goes by the will of Allah, and maybe in the meantime, you can understand Shia Islam more, through checking out lectures and articles, and books on Shia Islam ^_^

 

Links of articles about marriage in Islam: http://www.duas.org/matri1.htm

 

Website to watch Islamic Lectures: Particularly Hassanain Rajabali or just search his name up on youtube

Books and Articles Regarding Every Single Subject Particularly Shia Islam's views

Want to ask a question? Looking for answers to particular questions regarding Islam? Click Here

http://www.sistani.org/index.php?lang=eng (Everything Islamic Law related. Rulings. This is a Shia Marja, Sistani's website)

Al-Hadi.us - Great website to see research done on Shia and Sunni Islam, and Christianity. If you are seeking to find the truth.

Yes it will be difficult as he is also from a different culture. The older generation find it very hard to accept, then putting the different sects in the mix as well, well you haven't really got a good outcome. Well at the moment it is difficult to say as I am learning more and more about the Shia school of thought and my heart is leaning that way. it is just very hard as I have been brought up being a sunni therefore it is very difficult! Thank you for that. I am currently reading a book on the history by Sayyid Ali Ashgar Razwy. 

 

When the Prophet pbuh/hf asked the Muslims to migrate at the start, many came to the prophet and told him my parents do not approve of this and you say we must listen to our parents. His reply was , when ever your parents opinion clash with that of Allah swt then always take the path of Allah swt over your parents but remain respectful of your parents no matter what.

 

I have 1 question for you sister, do you work? is your father sustaining you financially ? it is very important we know the answer to this because there are special rulings as well for females and males who do not require parents as they work and self sufficient. (without a doubt Allah swt does sustain us all)

Yes I do work, and no he is not sustaining me financially, I take care of my own needs and necessities myself. It is just that my partner is worried that if he does not have the blessings of my family our marriage will not be a good one. Yet I have tried to explain to him that their reasons for not allowing it is unjust as it will be purely based on his culture and the different school of thought.

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Yes I do work, and no he is not sustaining me financially, I take care of my own needs and necessities myself. It is just that my partner is worried that if he does not have the blessings of my family our marriage will not be a good one. Yet I have tried to explain to him that their reasons for not allowing it is unjust as it will be purely based on his culture and the different school of thought.

 

If you are working and in no need of your parents support and are an adult then you can get married without there approval as long as it is done under the laws of Allah swt.

 

I think your partner just does not want your parents to hate the both of you and wants the two family's to be close.

 

Tell him just marry me already.

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Yes it will be difficult as he is also from a different culture. The older generation find it very hard to accept, then putting the different sects in the mix as well, well you haven't really got a good outcome. Well at the moment it is difficult to say as I am learning more and more about the Shia school of thought and my heart is leaning that way. it is just very hard as I have been brought up being a sunni therefore it is very difficult! Thank you for that. I am currently reading a book on the history by Sayyid Ali Ashgar Razwy. 

 

Yes I do work, and no he is not sustaining me financially, I take care of my own needs and necessities myself. It is just that my partner is worried that if he does not have the blessings of my family our marriage will not be a good one. Yet I have tried to explain to him that their reasons for not allowing it is unjust as it will be purely based on his culture and the different school of thought.

 

Your welcome sister! I would love to hear your thoughts on the book inshAllah if you dont mind. I think the brother understands that family is a blessing from Allah, and although we do not have to listen to them, when they command us against something that is in the way of Allah, we must still respect them. It means, you both will be obligated to visit each others families and keep in touch. Therefore, what I take from your response, is that he just wants the best for your future, and truly cares about your family's approval. I just would like to remind you as a side note, make sure this man is truly faithful and a man of God.

 

(wasalam)

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Your welcome sister! I would love to hear your thoughts on the book inshAllah if you dont mind. I think the brother understands that family is a blessing from Allah, and although we do not have to listen to them, when they command us against something that is in the way of Allah, we must still respect them. It means, you both will be obligated to visit each others families and keep in touch. Therefore, what I take from your response, is that he just wants the best for your future, and truly cares about your family's approval. I just would like to remind you as a side note, make sure this man is truly faithful and a man of God.

 

(wasalam)

The book is very interesting and has shown me a different side of history which I had no idea about. I definitely agree that Imam Ali should have been the first successor, not just because of what happened at Ghadeer but even his traits as a pure Muslim. It is upsetting that Sunni scholars never discuss these things with us. I just don't know what is right I am very confused at the moment I just pray that Allah swt guides me into the straight path and the truth. Hamdulillah he is of good character and deen he has taught me a lot and only wants me to know the truth about Islam.

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The book is very interesting and has shown me a different side of history which I had no idea about. I definitely agree that Imam Ali should have been the first successor, not just because of what happened at Ghadeer but even his traits as a pure Muslim. It is upsetting that Sunni scholars never discuss these things with us. I just don't know what is right I am very confused at the moment I just pray that Allah swt guides me into the straight path and the truth. Hamdulillah he is of good character and deen he has taught me a lot and only wants me to know the truth about Islam.

 

sister, thats wonderful. inshAllah I pray and hope to God to guide you, me and all of mankind to where ever the truth may lie. As this life is nothing but a journey to the truth, to Allah swt. Just have an open mind, take your time, be patient, and continue to pray. I promise you, inshAllah, your prayers will be heard. As Allah describes a niche, which there is light upon light, noor of Allah. I believe this verse pertains to the holy household of Muhammad A.S which the ahlulbayt a.s, all of them are extraordinary beings following the truth path of their grandfather Muhammad A.S, whom Allah commanded to succeed after him. I cannot personally believe Allah or Muhammad A.S will leave us without a leader, who will protect the deen of Allah, and guide us to the path of Muhammad A.S. It is very unfortunate, but that is how it is, to not allow anyone to discover and understand who truly Muhammad A.S and his family was. So that everything in Islamic history is mixed with if's, and who cares. The good and evil, all put R.A next to their names. Its baffling. Allahu-akbar :no:

 

(wasalam)

Wow, I never realise Shia scholars would approve of such marriages?

 

If you look at our Marjas websites, you can see, the reasoning is when the husband is a Shia, because of the protection of the female and her faith. When it is a Shia female, as a precaution, is not recommended to marry a non-shia, but especially not a non-muslim. This has both rational and justifiable reasons. Its understandable, especially from what is happening around the world, and has happened since the time of Muhammad A.S. If you want to see the law, go to sistani.org

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sister, thats wonderful. inshAllah I pray and hope to God to guide you, me and all of mankind to where ever the truth may lie. As this life is nothing but a journey to the truth, to Allah swt. Just have an open mind, take your time, be patient, and continue to pray. I promise you, inshAllah, your prayers will be heard. As Allah describes a niche, which there is light upon light, noor of Allah. I believe this verse pertains to the holy household of Muhammad A.S which the ahlulbayt a.s, all of them are extraordinary beings following the truth path of their grandfather Muhammad A.S, whom Allah commanded to succeed after him. I cannot personally believe Allah or Muhammad A.S will leave us without a leader, who will protect the deen of Allah, and guide us to the path of Muhammad A.S. It is very unfortunate, but that is how it is, to not allow anyone to discover and understand who truly Muhammad A.S and his family was. So that everything in Islamic history is mixed with if's, and who cares. The good and evil, all put R.A next to their names. Its baffling. Allahu-akbar :no:

 

(wasalam)

 

If you look at our Marjas websites, you can see, the reasoning is when the husband is a Shia, because of the protection of the female and her faith. When it is a Shia female, as a precaution, is not recommended to marry a non-shia, but especially not a non-muslim. This has both rational and justifiable reasons. Its understandable, especially from what is happening around the world, and has happened since the time of Muhammad A.S. If you want to see the law, go to sistani.org

Thank you and inshallah. Yes I find it very sad that so much of the muslim world sit there and say negative things about shia people. We are all muslim at the end of the day. It is very hard to even express how I feel to even my own friends as they think I am going into the wrong path lol :( it will be a difficult journey.

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Thank you and inshallah. Yes I find it very sad that so much of the muslim world sit there and say negative things about shia people. We are all muslim at the end of the day. It is very hard to even express how I feel to even my own friends as they think I am going into the wrong path lol :( it will be a difficult journey.

 

If this path that you are on, makes you a better human being with a stronger sense of faith, and more religious, then I would think one would be on the true path.

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The book is very interesting and has shown me a different side of history which I had no idea about. I definitely agree that Imam Ali should have been the first successor, not just because of what happened at Ghadeer but even his traits as a pure Muslim. It is upsetting that Sunni scholars never discuss these things with us. I just don't know what is right I am very confused at the moment I just pray that Allah swt guides me into the straight path and the truth. Hamdulillah he is of good character and deen he has taught me a lot and only wants me to know the truth about Islam.

 

Are you reading "A Restatement of the History of Muslims". That's my fav. book by him by far.

 

Also, regarding a Shia/Sunni marriage...its an uphill climb with a lot of challenges ahead. If your family is "Shia friendly" then it will make it easier but if your parents are the type that consider Shia kafir then you're in for a battle. A very emotional battle because you'll have to choose sides with either him or with your parents. No good can come of choosing sides between those parties.

 

Another thing to keep in mind is that while the Shia side will be accepting of you. Will your side be accepting of him? I know a good friend that married a Sunni girl and he just had to endure all kinds of insults and attacks. Not to his face, of course but he would overhear all kinds of things from not only the immediate family but also the extended. At one point he told me that if he could go back in time he would've never married her. 

 

Good luck to you in whatever decision you make. I hope the two of you both find true happiness in whatever form it may come.

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