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In the Name of God بسم الله
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StrugglingForTheLight

Women And Equality In Islam

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Salam

 

I thought I would bring up this issue as it something that bothers me and keeps me from a firm faith.

 

Why in Islam are woman not given equal rights?

 

For example, for divorce, why is a man allowed to divorce a woman simply because he doesn't want to be married anymore while the woman has to go through a court and show that some of her rights are not being taken care of and simply can't get divorced for simply being dissatisfied with the marriage?

 

Why do men inherit more money then women (upon death of parents)?

 

Why are women required to ask permission to leave the house and go somewhere?

 

Why are women required to obey the husband?

 

Why can't a woman be allowed to refuse to have sex with her husband upon the husband's request?

 

Don't these laws seem sexist?

Edited by StrugglingForTheLight

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Here are some very brief answers...

 

They are given equal rights according to their responsibilities which is dictated by their capabilities.

 

A woman gets very emotional very quickly, and so will say things she does not mean such as 'I want a divorce now', and 3 days later she will whole-heartedly want to return to her husband. So if it's as easy for a woman to get a divorce as a man, you'd have more divorces than marriages.

 

Men have more responsibility than the woman in this sense and therefore entitled to more inheritance.

 

Why should a young boy ask his mother to go out of the house? Because his mother is responsible for protecting him.

 

Why not obey the husband?

 

She can refuse sex if she has a valid reason, and any muslim would gladly accept a valid reason. However often times you'll find the wife simply too lazy while the man is burning for desire, and if she has the ability to refuse sex left and right, well then the man is going to seek pleasure from elsewhere and we all know how that will end up. Worth noting that the man shouldn't refuse his wife sex either.

 

These laws don't seem sexist at all. To me personally, it's like asking why doesn't the man have equal right to breastfeed his child.

Edited by dragonxx

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dude u do realize that even some men get emotional. u r pretty much saying every man who has ever lived and will be born in the future is not emotional while every woman from past and present is. this statment in itself is sexist.

Sorry could you bold where I said the man does not get emotional?

 

 

Edit: And if pointing out physiologic facts is sexist, please do continue to call my statement as such.

 

Here is a little reading for you to gain just a little bit of understanding.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Menstrual_cycle

Edited by dragonxx

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Some of it is hard for me to understand too.  But for a family to be stable, there has to be a hierarchy.  If nobody or everybody wants to be the leader, things will fall apart, and that's the reason for some of these "rights".  Every right is coupled with a responsibility, for example, the wife has a right to be provided with home, food, and clothing, along with all else that her husband can provide that is normal in her society.  In exchange, she has the responsibility to obey her husband's wishes, in particular regarding sexual needs and her comings and goings.  The husband has a right to his wife's obedience, and in exchange he has the responsibility to provide for her material needs and provide her with as stable and safe a home as he is able.

 

 

As for the claim of women being more emotional than men, that is the opposite of what I've observed.

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Women r poor in Islam.

Just men r human

I know it s not reality! Coz I m sure that Islam is the best and the most perfect religion. But I really cant understand why women have a little right!

Women have much more problems and men have more rights! It s unfair in my mind

Edited by Life=Abbas

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As for the claim of women being more emotional than men, that is the opposite of what I've observed.

 

Emotional in the sense of taking more drastic action, I would agree.

That would apply if the man were to make the decision to leave the woman. Normally the man uses his reason more effectively during a state of emotion and therefore would decide against taking such an action as separating from his wife. Thus it doesn't matter how drastic the action he would've taken, because the decision to take that type of action wasn't made in the first place.

 

As far as expressing emotion and acting upon it, this is what I mean by emotional... women are more likely to act upon their emotions than men. I believe a quick google search can allow anyone to verify this or disprove this in terms of studies. Women are more likely to act upon feelings than men, as women experience a greater intensity of emotion (if I remember correctly, this is an Islamic view also, I could be wrong).

 

In terms of everyday experience, I've yet to come across a community where the men cry more often than the women for example.

Another example for the people who went to school in the West. How long (usually) does it take for the boys to speak to each other after fighting? Minutes to 1-2 days from my experience. And the girls? Days to months. This is because males don't normally say things like "I'm never speaking to you again" or "I hate you" whereas females generally do, and it's obvious what this leads to.

 

So I would definitely stick to my guns and say that the vast majority of women are more "emotional".

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salam alaykum to all brothers and sisters

First before finding out the difference between a man and a woman, you have to observe these questions?

1. In a general sense, is there a difference between men and women (that is to say: "are they characterized the same?")

2. Does justice mean to have equality even if we have different cases? (There are many examples for inevitable result of having different verdicts and rules when having different situations)

 

Considering the point that God is all-knowledgeable and all-wise, then we would admit different rules are revealed out of a (known or even unknown) difference.

It can not be a counterexample to God's justice and appropriateness of his rules even if we could not point out to a difference and say that is why we have different regulations.

Edited by mostafaa

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Why in Islam are woman not given equal rights?

 

They have equal rights except in the matter of functional responsibilities.  

 

Why are women required to ask permission to leave the house and go somewhere?

 

Have you seen a small store run by a husband-wife team? Both own the shop but there is only one manager. Don't you expect people working in an office to let the manager know when they need to go out?

 

Why can't a woman be allowed to refuse to have sex with her husband upon the husband's request?

 

Does the Quran or hadeeth say that they can't?  

Why do men inherit more money then women (upon death of parents)?

 

Are you aware that women did not have any right to inheritance until very recently?  Islam gave at least some rights to women  more than 1000 years ago. Also, please note that women are not responsible to run the house. The man needs more money because he need to run the house.  

Edited by baqar

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A woman came to the Messenger of Allāh صلى الله عليه واله and said: O’ Messenger of Allāh! What is the right of the husband over the wife? He said to her: She obeys him and does not disobey him, does not give anything in charity from her house except with his permission, she does not keep a voluntary fast without his permission and does not prevent him from herself even if she be on hunchback. She does not leave her house but with his permission; if she leaves without his permission, the angels of the heaven, the angels of the earth, the angels of wrath and the angels of mercy damn her until she returns to her house. So she said: O’ Messenger of Allāh! Who among the people has the greatest right on the man? He said: His parents. She said: Who among the people has the greatest right over the woman? He said: Her husband. She said: So do I have a right over him similar to what he has over me? He said: No, not [even] one in a hundred! She said: By the One Who sent you as a Prophet with the truth, no man shall ever own my neck.

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As far as expressing emotion and acting upon it, this is what I mean by emotional... women are more likely to act upon their emotions than men. I believe a quick google search can allow anyone to verify this or disprove this in terms of studies. Women are more likely to act upon feelings than men, as women experience a greater intensity of emotion (if I remember correctly, this is an Islamic view also, I could be wrong).

 

In terms of everyday experience, I've yet to come across a community where the men cry more often than the women for example.

I don't know. Maybe my life has been the exception. I've definitely been around more emotional men and more rational women, but I haven't met everyone in this world.

Crying does indicate strong emotion, but must never, ever, ever be mistaken for a sign of emotional weakness!

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Their are responsiblities that men have to fulfill within marriage.

But paying the rights of women r not as hard as men 's

Believe me! It s unfair in my mind

Women must do lots of works with their bad problems but how about men????? They must do just some works-less than women 's-

Edited by Life=Abbas

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The link to the article on menstruation made me lol. You do realise that for the vast majority of women, PMT equates to 'feeling a bit grumpy/irritable'. It does not take you away from your senses or make you irrational. In 3 decades on this planet i have yet to hear of (in fact or fiction) a woman declare her regret at instigating divorce proceedings because of being 'emotional' whilst being on her period O.o even if that had ever happened anywhere ever, youre only on for a week at most, where in the world can you get a divorce that quickly?

 

Notme - my experience has been similar to you. In my family my mum was always the level headed one who coped in a crisis. My dad was reactive and emotional. Also, in my private life i have experience the same. My 1st mutah marriage to my husband was terminated by him after a silly argument. We made up a few weeks later >.< it was ridiculous.

 

Dragonxx - 'Emotional' is only problematic when it leads to you losing perspective and control of your behaviour. Crying in itself is just a stress relief. Reactive anger  is the most destructive state we can be in and i see that state more evident in the male population than the female. Women may be prone to break down in tears more readily than men, but that can be an appropriate and healthy response. Reactive anger is pretty much NEVER an appropriate and healthy response.

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However you try to twist meanings, women are emotional. If you went to every Muslim women and asked her what she feels about Islamic laws regarding homosexuality, adultery etc... and asked the same to every Muslim man - I doubt you'd have more "Muslim" women supporting such laws.

This is why women will never become Islamic judges in court, they're too emotional. That's why their witness only counts as... half!

Edited by Revolving Ace

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Recently in the news:
 

 

Women react more intensely to negative images than men, a difference that can be seen even when looking at their brains, a new study finds.

Researchers from University of Basel, whose study will be published in a forthcoming issue of the Journal of Neuroscience, found that women rated positive and negative images as more emotionally stimulating than men did, and that their brains were more active than men's when viewing negative pictures.

 

Such findings seem to support a common perception that women are more emotionally sensitive than men "and provides evidence for gender differences on the neural level," said lead author Annette Milnik of the University of Basel.

 

 

http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/speaking-of-science/wp/2015/01/23/how-men-and-women-process-emotions-differently/

 

I dont know if that is the reason for some of the differences in rulings, but it supports the the prevalent view that women are more emotional than men.

So does the fact that women are twice as likely to suffer from depression than men.  There's no doubt that depression affects the way we process information.

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It s clear that women r emotional! But women dont believe Islamic laws like these coz they r emotional!

U r a boy and say yes,it s very good law! But it s coz it s benefit for u

Edited by Life=Abbas

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This is why women will never become Islamic judges in court, they're too emotional. That's why their witness only counts as... half!

Is empathy an emotion?

As for women being "more emotional" because they express certain emotions more freely, which is physically stronger, one who suffers sore muscles from exercise or one who avoids exercise?

Only Allah really knows, but my belief is that men have more responsibilities because it is more balanced that way. Women (adult and sane women anyway) will naturally take on whatever needs to be done. To prevent men from degrading into musclebound babies, they have been assigned certain roles, and with those roles come rights and responsibilities.

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So does the fact that women are twice as likely to suffer from depression than men. There's no doubt that depression affects the way we process information.

I wonder how many cases of depression are innate and how many are a result of environment or culture. I also wonder how many depressed males are undiagnosed.

Edited by notme

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However you try to twist meanings, women are emotional. If you went to every Muslim women and asked her what she feels about Islamic laws regarding homosexuality, adultery etc... and asked the same to every Muslim man - I doubt you'd have more "Muslim" women supporting such laws.

This is why women will never become Islamic judges in court, they're too emotional. That's why their witness only counts as... half!

 

And yet in countries where women are court judges theyre doing a damn fine job. There are studies showing women are generally more empathetic and thats also what i personally witness, but not to the extent that it makes us irresponsible, if anything, the empathetic response of women makes us more responsible (with regards to other living things) than men.

I wonder how many cases of depression are innate and how many are a result of environment or culture. I also wonder how many depressed males are undiagnosed.

 

Its known that men dont tend to deal with depression as well as women; theyre a higher suicide risk etc. Also, even in the UK where great efforts have been made to destigmatise mental health issues, men are still less likely to admit they have a mental health issue and seek help for it (theyre less likely to seek medical generally too).

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And yet in countries where women are court judges theyre doing a damn fine job. There are studies showing women are generally more empathetic and thats also what i personally witness, but not to the extent that it makes us irresponsible, if anything, the empathetic response of women makes us more responsible (with regards to other living things) than men.

 

The woman and the man guilty of adultery or fornication,- flog each of them with a hundred stripes: Let not compassion move you in their case, in a matter prescribed by Allah, if ye believe in Allah and the Last Day: and let a party of the Believers witness their punishment.

[24:2]

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and with those roles come rights and responsibilities.

 

 

Yes.  And Allah puts a huge emphasis on this.  Take the issue of divorce.  I dont remember seeing a verse in the Qur'an put so much emphasis on doing something in the way 2:231 does.

 

Allah gives men the responsibility of divorce, but then warns them multiple times in the same verse in different ways :

 

وَإِذَا طَلَّقْتُمُ النِّسَاءَ فَبَلَغْنَ أَجَلَهُنَّ فَأَمْسِكُوهُنَّ بِمَعْرُوفٍ أَوْ سَرِّحُوهُنَّ بِمَعْرُوفٍ ۚ وَلَا تُمْسِكُوهُنَّ ضِرَارًا لِتَعْتَدُوا ۚ وَمَنْ يَفْعَلْ ذَٰلِكَ فَقَدْ ظَلَمَ نَفْسَهُ ۚ وَلَا تَتَّخِذُوا آيَاتِ اللَّهِ هُزُوًا ۚ وَاذْكُرُوا نِعْمَتَ اللَّهِ عَلَيْكُمْ وَمَا أَنْزَلَ عَلَيْكُمْ مِنَ الْكِتَابِ وَالْحِكْمَةِ يَعِظُكُمْ بِهِ ۚ وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ وَاعْلَمُوا أَنَّ اللَّهَ بِكُلِّ شَيْءٍ عَلِيمٌ {231}
 

[2:231] When ye have divorced women, and they have reached their term, then retain them in kindness or release them in kindness. Retain them not to their hurt so that ye transgress (the limits). He who doeth that hath wronged his soul. Make not the revelations of Allah a laughing-stock (by your behaviour), but remember Allah's grace upon you and that which He hath revealed unto you of the Scripture and of wisdom, whereby He doth exhort you. Observe your duty to Allah and know that Allah is Aware of all things.

 

So,

 

1. First Allah say to men to retain or let them go in Ma'ruf (translated above as kindness)

2. Then he emphasizes this rule by prohibiting carrying on the marriage to hurt them.  This is just another way of saying (1) and wasnt strictly necessary, apart from to strongly emphasise the importance of doing (1)

3.  Then Allah warns men that whoever doesnt follow this has done injustice to his soul

4.  Then Allah says that any man who doesnt follow this, he is making a mockery of God's revelation (such strong words!)

5.  Then Allah encourages us to do (1) from a different angle - by reminding us of His favours upon us.  So He changes from threats and warning to reminding us of his mercy on us.

6.  Then He commands men to have taqwa of Allah

7.  The He reminds men that He is all knowing of what we do, so that we cannot hurt women without him knowing about it

 

All of this, just to stop men from abusing this responsibility towards women.

 

عن كليب الصيداوي قال: قال لي أبوالحسن (عليه السلام): .. إن الله عزوجل ليس يغضب لشئ كغضبه للنساء والصبيان

 

Rough translation -

 

Imam Al-Kathim (as) - Nothing angers Allah more than the violation of the rights of women and children

 

Al Kafi

http://www.al-shia.org/html/ara/books/lib-hadis/al-kafi-6/03.htm

Its known that men dont tend to deal with depression as well as women; theyre a higher suicide risk etc.

 

 

Men are more likely to be successful ie to do it properly

But from what I remember women try to commit suicide more than men

Edited by .InshAllah.

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and does not prevent him from herself even if she be on hunchback.  

 

Are you sure this hadeeth is true?  Even if it is, I doubt if every hadith is to taken literally

 

For example, what if she is sick or in a rush to go to work?

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Are you sure this hadeeth is true?  Even if it is, I doubt if every hadith is to taken literally

 

For example, what if she is sick or in a rush to go to work?

It is authentic. btw, ofcourse there's rules lol. She needs a good excuse in order to deny him, for example if she is sick, pregnant etc... it's not a one way ticket.

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(bismillah)

 

(salam) everyone,

 

I find this discussion interesting and illuminating, but, having read this and other similar threads, I cannot help but wonder if some of our esteemed brothers in faith, who so staunchly defend the point of women having less rights than the men because they are weaker, more emotional etc, do not simply want to say that we women are less worthy then men, but cannot say it openly, so they  hide behind these 2-3 much cited ayaat and ahadeeth, ignoring the wast majority of others, where our rights are defended and explained..

 

When such discussions came up in our home, my husband used to laughingly remind the women's rights-opposers of the hadeeth nabawi that stated that, if men knew all the rights of women in Islam, they would wish to be a woman. 

 

Can you imagine what angry ogling and fuming that provoked...  :shaytan:

 

Sorry, I know it's sooo much easier and "beneficial" on one's ego to just believe that men are all and women nothing... :shifty:

 

Kindest regards (and apologies  :mellow: ) to all, 

 

Amina

 

P.S. The aforementioned hadeeth is not the product of my imagination, but genuine and can be found in the Internet ahadeeth compilations, I am sure, if one wants to invest some time to such a terrible cause!

Edited by Amina

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if men knew all the rights of women in Islam, they would wish to be a woman

 

Sister Amina

 

I am sure you have noticed that men love this hadeeth that Revolving Ace has quoted. And I bet most men would not if they were women.

 

You see, one of Islam's many problems is that all our scholars have been men.  Therefore all our Quranic and hadeeth interpretations revolve round men.

 

Each time the Quran talks about "hoors", it is assumed that they are female. 

 

So what will our wives and daughters get in heaven?

 

Just apples and oranges? 

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