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Women In Islam

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SallamAlikum All, I hope you are all having a great week.

 

I was recently reading Surah Al-Nisa, and I came across an ayah, that I'm sure it's caught lots of people's attention.

 

"Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand."

 

First I want to start of with saying, I know Allah is all knowing and what God says is what we do. But he never said not to question specially if one doesn't understand. Islam always told us about educating ourselves and ask question.

 

My question is, Islam says that men and women are equal but from just the Ayah's translation it states men are higher. So how does that make men and women equal?

 

Second The Prophet always talked about respecting the women and never to beat them. Then why in this verse does it say Oh if they don't obey you, then strike them. That just contradicts the prophets teaching? Explanation? 

 

Also there is a lot more other things in Islam which seem (A'thu bill Allah) hypocritical and contradicting. I know there has to be answers to them, so this is why I ask. It's merely for knowledge and knowing how to respond to other.

 

JAK.

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SallamAlikum All, I hope you are all having a great week.

I was recently reading Surah Al-Nisa, and I came across an ayah, that I'm sure it's caught lots of people's attention.

"Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand."

First I want to start of with saying, I know Allah is all knowing and what God says is what we do. But he never said not to question specially if one doesn't understand. Islam always told us about educating ourselves and ask question.

My question is, Islam says that men and women are equal but from just the Ayah's translation it states men are higher. So how does that make men and women equal?

Second The Prophet always talked about respecting the women and never to beat them. Then why in this verse does it say Oh if they don't obey you, then strike them. That just contradicts the prophets teaching? Explanation?

Also there is a lot more other things in Islam which seem (A'thu bill Allah) hypocritical and contradicting. I know there has to be answers to them, so this is why I ask. It's merely for knowledge and knowing how to respond to other.

JAK.

Men and women are considered equal in the sense that they're both believing Muslims. But Islaam does give authority to men in alot of things -

- Islamic courts are controlled by men

- Islamic states are controlled by men

- The man is the head of the family

Read this hadeeth -

A woman came to the Messenger of Allāh صلى الله عليه واله and said: O’ Messenger of Allāh! What is the right of the husband over the wife? He said to her: She obeys him and does not disobey him, does not give anything in charity from her house except with his permission, she does not keep a voluntary fast without his permission and does not prevent him from herself even if she be on hunchback. She does not leave her house but with his permission; if she leaves without his permission, the angels of the heaven, the angels of the earth, the angels of wrath and the angels of mercy damn her until she returns to her house. So she said: O’ Messenger of Allāh! Who among the people has the greatest right on the man? He said: His parents. She said: Who among the people has the greatest right over the woman? He said: Her husband. She said: So do I have a right over him similar to what he has over me? He said: No, not [even] one in a hundred! She said: By the One Who sent you as a Prophet with the truth, no man shall ever own my neck.

http://www.imamiyya.com/hadith/man-l-yauruh-al-faqh/right-of-husband-over-the-wife

The man is in charge - women and men aren't given absolute equality in everything like in secular societies. Each has their roles...

Edited by Revolving Ace

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Salam

 

We have addressed this issue on our page . The summary as follows :

 

__________________

 

The Disciplinary Rights of the Husband

Some men order their wives to do many things and if are confronted with resistance, they think it right to become annoyed, to punish or even to physically hurt their wives. This approach is not correct at all. The men of the 'Age of Ignorance', who lacked humanity, used to hurt and beat their wives.


"The revered Prophet (SA) banned the beating of women, unless in special circumstances when punishment becomes wajib (obligatory)."[195]


"The Prophet (SA) also stated: 'I am astonished at a man who beats his wife, whereas it is he himself, more than his wife, who deserves a beating. O people, do not beat your women with sticks because such an act has Qisas (reprisal)."[196]


Oppressing a woman who has wishfully married her husband, who seeks comfort and tranquility with him, and who expects her husband to share with her problems, is not right. In fact Allah entrusts a woman to her husband through marriage and a man's mistreatment with his wife would be UNFAITHFULNESS towards Allah's trust in him.


"Imam Ali (as) stated: 'Women are entrusted to men, and as such are not owners of their fortunes and misfortunes. They are with you like a trust of Allah; so do not hurt them and do not make (the life) difficult for them'."[197]


A man who hits his wife, inflicts such damage on her soul that she might suffer from a complex; and the family love and warmth would almost definitely fade away. How can a man maintain a sound marital relationship with his battered and degraded wife? This is really shameful.


"The Prophet (SA) of Allah stated: 'O you (men)! How can any of you beat his wife and there- after embrace her'?" [198]


A man, unless having a particular right over his wife, similar to those to be mentioned in this chapter is not lawfully permitted to force his wife into doing anything or to resort to physical punishment upon her disobedience.

For instance a woman, lawfully is not duty-bound to carry out housework such as cleaning, cooking, washing up, childcare, knitting, sewing, etc. Although the majority of women do carry out these works of a housewife on their own, these are not mandatory.

Men should be grateful to their wives for their work in the house. Therefore, no man has the right to question or punish his wife when faced with her refusal to carry out the house- keeping chores.


Islam recommends physical punishment of one's wife only in two cases where his rights are violated:


Case 1: A man is Islamically and lawfully allowed to seek sexual satisfaction and pleasure from his wife and to derive all sorts of enjoyment from this relationship. His wife is lawfully duty-bound to yield to her husband's sexual desires. If a woman refuses to satisfy her husband, the husband should initially persuade her in an orderly manner. However, if a man feels that his wife is trying to be malicious to him, and if he cannot tolerate the situation, then by observing the prescribed stages can punish her.


Allah states in the Holy Qur'an: "...And (as to} those on whose part you fear desertion admonish them. and leave them alone in the sleeping places and beat them; then if they obey you do not seek a way against them; surely Allah is High Great (4:34)."


Therefore, the Quran allows beating one's wife as the final stage of punishment, in the event of unreasonable behaviour of a woman with regard to the sexual desires of her husband.


The first stage is giving advice. Secondly, the man should avoid sharing her bed or turn his back towards her, and in this way he should show his anger. If nothing positive happens at the end of the second stage and still the woman continues to refuse her husband, he is permitted to beat her (lightly).


A man, however, is not permitted to surpass the prescribed limit and resort to oppression. Men are reminded of the following:


( a ) The aim of physical punishment of one's wife should be a way of education and not that of taking revenge.


( b ) Hitting should be done by hand or by using a thin and light wooden stick.


( c ) Hitting to the extent that results in changing the color of the skin (to blue or red) is not permitted and is punishable by the payment of a Diyah (fine).


(d) Hitting of sensitive parts of the body such as the eyes. head, stomach, etc is not permitted.


(e) Physical punishment should not be so hard as to create hatred and ill-feeling between the couple, or to drive the wife towards more disobedience.


(f) A man (who intends to punish his wife in this manner) should remember that he is to live with his wife and that the family love should not be destroyed.


(g) A man is not allowed to hit his wife if there are legitimate reasons for her non-compliance with his wishes. For instance, if she is in the state of menstruation, fasting in the month ofRamadan being in ihram (garb for Hajj pilgrimage), or if she is sick. These are acceptable reasons and a man cannot punish his wife for not complying with his wishes on these occasions.


Case 2: A woman can go out of the house only after obtaining her husband's permission. Going out without permission is lawfully not allowed and committing it is a sin.


A tradition has been reported that the Prophet (SA) did not allow any woman to go out of her house without her husband's permission. "He stated: 'Any woman who goes out of her house without her husband's permission, would be subjected to the curse of all the angels in the heavens and all those who see her, be they jinn or human, until the time she returns (to her home)'."[199]


This is the right of any husband which must be observed by their wives.


But men should not be too strict with their wives on this account. It is better for them to allow their wives to go out whenever possible.


This right of men is not meant to be a show of strength or an attempt at putting pressure on their wives, but a means of preventing women from going to undesirable and unsuitable places.


Being too strict, not only is not useful, but may affect the family relationship, or even drive a woman towards disobedience and corruption.


A man must stop his wife from going to corrupt and unsuitable places and gatherings. It is a religious obligation for women to obey their husbands. A disobedient woman can be punished by her husband. Here again the punishment should be carried out in stages.


A woman, however, can go out of the house on specific occasions without her husband's permission and men are not permitted to hurt their wives in such cases:


( a ) Going out of the house for learning the necessary commandments of religion.


( b ) Going out of the house for Hajj when she possesses the necessary financial means and ability to perform Hajj.


( c ) Going out of the house to repay a debt provided it is not possible to repay without going out of the house.

 

Source : http://www.al-islam.org/marriageandfamily/55.htm

 

http://www.al-islam.org/principles-marriage-family-ethics-ayatullah-ibrahim-amini

_________________________

 

 

Further reading :-


1) Tafsir Al-Mizan by Allama Tabatabai

 

[Abu Ja'far (as.) has said that, leave them alone in the sleeping places, means that man should turn away from her;

and beat them, means hitting her with tooth brush- (Majma 'u'l-bayan)

 

There are numerous traditions of similar import, narrated in the Shi'ah and Sunni collections of hadith The most beautiful is the hadith narrated in al-Kafi from Abu Ibrahim Musa ibn Ja'far (peace be on both): "Woman's jihad is (her) nice behaviour towards (her) husband."

 

The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) used to wonder aloud: "How can you embrace the woman with a hand you had hit her with?"

 

It is narrated also in al-Kafi through his chain from Abu Maryam from Abu Ja'far (a.s.) that he said: "The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) has said: 'What! does one of you hit the woman and then goes embracing her?'"

 

Countless such statements are found in traditions; and one may understand from them the Islamic views on this subject.

 

Source : http://www.almizan.org/

_________________________

 

2) Ahlulbayt Islamic Mission

 

[Misconduct must be defined. A husband does not have the right to force his wife to perform any household duties. Hence, he cannot command her to do the dishes or cook him dinner. Furthermore, he cannot punish her if she does not obey these commands. Misconduct here means committing major sins, such as certain types of unethical behavior that would cripple most marriages. This will be further explained when with the quotes from books of Islamic jurisprudence.

 

Then, when the misconduct appears the three forms of treatment can be used in order. This means that first, one should try to keep away from them before the stage of striking occurs. The process of starting with minor punishment leading to heavier punishment is rational.]

Source : http://www.aimislam.com/?p=9009&preview=true

 

 

SHARE and LIKE : https://www.facebook.com/pages/Sisters-In-Islam/385767358246015?ref=br_rs

 

__________________

 

 

Imam Khomeini : Islam forbids the husband to mistreat his wife. If he habitually mistreats her, he is to be punished, and the mujtahid will grant the wife a divorce"

 

___________________

 


Ali Said Jamaleddine 

This may sound a bit off-topic but beating in Islam comes at a very high price. If the beating of ANY person's face leaves a red mark, then one has to pay a fine equal to one and half dinar (I read somewhere that each dinar is ar
ound 4.5 kg of gold but I am not sure). If it leaves a green mark, 3 dinars. And if it was black mark, then 6 dinars. If the hit was on the body rather than the face, then the fine is half of what was just mentioned. Of course, whip lashes for breaking the law or beating during war are clear exceptions.

There are minor exceptions in which beating is allowed but that comes under VERY STRICT conditions that make it hard for anyone to do it with having to pay a fine.

And a final note, narrations suggest that it is haram (unlawful) to even threaten a Muslim brother and sister. The Prophet (pbuhahf) says, "whoever looks at a believer a look to scare him, Allah SWT scares him on a day where there is no shadow but Allah's".

Another 'scary' narration: Imam Al Sadiq (as) says, "whoever scares a believer by threatening to hurt him, and he did not hurt the believer, then he is Hellfire. Whoever scares a believer by threatening to hurt him and he [in fact] hurts the believer, then he is with Pharaoh and his followers in Hellfire."

So if the rights of a believer is to be safe from threatening let alone beating, then what do you say about wives and children who are InshaAllah believers?!

Couple that with the previous posts and we will find that beating is a VERY serious issue and like I mentioned, there are very FEW exceptions and they come with VERY STRICT conditions. 

Edited by hameedeh
First link to Chapter 55 no longer works. Adding link to whole book.

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bismillah.gif

الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَاءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَىٰ بَعْضٍ وَبِمَا أَنْفَقُوا مِنْ أَمْوَالِهِمْ ۚ فَالصَّالِحَاتُ قَانِتَاتٌ حَافِظَاتٌ لِلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ اللَّهُ ۚ وَاللَّاتِي تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَاهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِي الْمَضَاجِعِ وَاضْرِبُوهُنَّ ۖ فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلَا تَبْغُوا عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلًا ۗ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيًّا كَبِيرًا {34}

[shakir 4:34] Men are the maintainers of women because Allah has made some of them to excel others and because they spend out of their property; the good women are therefore obedient, guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded; and (as to) those on whose part you fear desertion, admonish them, and leave them alone in the sleeping-places and beat them; then if they obey you, do not seek a way against them; surely Allah is High, Great.

 

[Pickthal 4:34] Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women). So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah hath guarded. As for those from whom ye fear rebellion, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them. Lo! Allah is ever High, Exalted, Great.

 

[Yusufali 4:34] Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share their beds, (And last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them Means (of annoyance): For Allah is Most High, great (above you all).

 

[Pooya/Ali Commentary 4:34]

 

In verse 228 of al-Baqarah Allah says that women also have rights as men have but men are a degree above women. In this verse it is again stated that men are the guardians of women as He has made the male sex excel over the female sex. This is the will of an all-wise and almighty Lord.

 

The equality before law should not be confused with the equality of the complex of subjective and original qualities. Even the messengers and prophets of Allah are not equal in status due to their innate and endowed essence. "We have made some of these messengers to excel others", says the almighty , Allah in verse 253 of al-Baqarah.

 

Qanitatun means devoted to Allah, therefore, a woman who obeys Allah must accept His command and acknowledge her duties she has to perform to please her husband who spends of his wealth to provide for her. She must also watch over his property and his interests, attend to his needs, and above all guard her chastity.

 

In case a perverse woman (wife) refuses to mend her ways (very common among the low-bred and ignorant women of easy virtue) then the husband can admonish her, and even stop sleeping with her, but if the corrective measures fail to refine her, he can take harsher steps to make her qanitatun (devoted and obedient to Allah).

 

To understand the true purport of this verse, it is essential to keep in mind verse 21 of al-Rum.

 

"Another of His signs is that He created out of you mates of your own kind so that you may find repose in them, and has instilled (ordained) love and kindness between you. Verily there are signs in this for those who reflect."

 

In many verses it has been ordained to, treat women with kindness and to speak to them gently.

 

The Holy Prophet said:

 

"Never beat Allah's handmaidens."

 

"The best of you is he who is kind to his wife."

 

There is not a single event of wife-beating or child-abuse in the lives of the Holy Prophet and his holy Ahl ul Bayt.

 

Fala tabghu alayhinna is a warning to the unscrupulous husbands not to seek an excuse for resorting to the conditional provision allowed to discipline the depraved women only.

 

http://quran.al-islam.org/

 

*****

Long Answer/Discourse 

 

Tafsir Al-Mizan BY ALLAMAH MUHAMMAD HUSSEIN TABATABAI

Commentary on 4:34

 

http://www.almizan.org/

Edited by S.M.H.A.

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Could you please give the link to your page? 

 

Thanks   Was Salam

 

I think it is the link beside the words SHARE and LIKE.

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Muhammad Sarwar

Men are the protectors of women because of the greater preference that God has given to some of them and because they financially support them. Among virtuous women are those who are steadfast in prayer and dependable in keeping the secrets that God has protected. Admonish women who disobey (God´s laws), do not sleep with them and beat them. If they obey (the laws of God), do not try to find fault in them. God is High and Supreme.

 

 

Daryabadi

Men are overseers over women, by reason of that wherewith Allah hath made one of them excel over anot her, and by reason of that which they expend of their substance. Wherefore righteous women are obedient, and are watchers in husbands absence by the aid and protection of Allah. And those wives whose refractoriness ye fear, exhort them, and avoid them in beds, and beat them; but if they obey you, seek not a way against them; verily Allah is ever Lofty, Grand.

 

 

 

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