Jump to content
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!) ×
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!)
In the Name of God بسم الله
Sign in to follow this  
kbsquare

Divorce

Rate this topic

Recommended Posts

(salam)

Consider this:

“And if he has divorced her (for the third time), then she is not lawful to him afterward until (after) she marries a husband other than him. And if the latter husband divorces her (or dies), there is no blame upon the woman and her former husband for returning to each other if they think that they can keep (within) the limits of Allah. These are the limits of Allah, which He makes clear to a people who know.” (Qur’ān 2:230)

I know in all or some of the Sunni school of thought, if a man divorces his wife (even if out of anger) and wishes to remarry her, he must wait until she marries and consummates a marriage with another man, and divorce that man before she can remarry the man that divorced her originally. I know of a few sunni friends who themselves or their parents divorced their wives out of anger and within half a years time they were remarried again. How must of the above stipulations been met in such a short span of time? In addition. In a similar case to shia school of thought, is the process of remarrying your ex wife the same procedure?

Edited by kbsquare

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Who in the world would be stupid enough to divorce "in anger" then regret it later? Are humans really that idiotic?

That is what I thought, usually when men lose their patience they hit the wife and regret it later but divorce does not happen.

 

Also is it practically possible to divorce a wife on the spot out of anger? in Shia Fiqh wouldn't a divorce need to be organized so as to have 2 witnesses present etc?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Who in the world would be stupid enough to divorce "in anger" then regret it later? Are humans really that idiotic?

In the case of a parent of a Sunni friend of mine, his father, out of anger said "talaq" thrice and according to Sunni fiqh that is a legitimate divorce, but his parents remarried several months later, I do not know how his father went about it. However, knowing his father I think he would of been to prideful to allow his ex wife marry another man, have her consumate that marriage with that man, have her divorce him, only to marry her again. Although, I am not sure if that is how exactly it goes according to Ahlul sunnah. To answer your question, notme, yes, but you sound surprised, why?

A divorce according to Shia Fiqh needs witnesses, so a divorce has to be arranged because it needs 2 witnesses and this would make it difficult to divorce someone out of anger.

I think

I know this much about shia divorce. However, what if the man and woman want to remarry afterwards, is the marrying another man/divorce/remarry also the same for shia? Edited by kbsquare

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Who in the world would be stupid enough to divorce "in anger" then regret it later? Are humans really that idiotic?

 

salaam alaikum,

 

unfortunately yes some people would be capable of doing such a thing, you would be shocked but what can you say? the op is talking realistic, and it does happen. I have heard of a couple who got divorced in that way here in the us but not sure if what their sect is.

 

salaam

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My ex-husband threatened me with divorce once . . . .

:shaytan:

 

probably most men actually threaten but don't really divorce for real ... they use that as something to scare and warn the women by because they know every woman's worst fear after marriage is divorce lol

 

salaam

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

probably most men actually threaten but don't really divorce for real ... they use that as something to scare and warn the women by because they know every woman's worst fear after marriage is divorce lol

salaam

Oh?

Oops. I thought a threat of divorce was an announcement that the marriage is effectively over. Ah well, lesson learned.

Or maybe those idiots making the threat idly should learn a lesson to only say what they mean.

Edited by notme

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
this may help you:
 
or:
How divorce is granted?
question
How divorce is granted? How many times should the words of divorce contract be recited?
Concise answer
1. Divorce is a one-sided contract (which is one of the unilateral obligations "iqa'at") and it is carried out by the husband unilaterally even though the woman may not consent to it." Therefore, a man can divorce his wife one-sidedly in accordance with the rules prescribed by the religion.[1]
2. Divorce contract must be recited with the correct Arabic words in a way such that two just men listen to it. If the man wants to recite it by himself and his wife's name is Fatimah, he should say:
"زَوْجَتِى فٰاطِمَةُ طالِقٌ"
Which means, my wife Fatimah is freed. If he appoints someone to recite it, the attorney should say:
"زَوْجَةُ مُوكِّلى فٰاطِمَةُ طٰالِقٌ"[2]
3. We can refer to some of the rules and conditions in regards to divorce as follows:
A. a man who divorces his wife must be sane, and as an obligatory precaution, he must also be adult, and he should divorce her of his own free will. Hence, if someone compels him to divorce his wife, the divorce will be void. It is also necessary that he seriously intends to divorce. If, therefore, he pronounces the formula of divorce jokingly, the divorce will not be valid."[3]
B. a man who wants to divorce his wife is supposed to do it with the intention of divorce seriously. So, the divorce is not correct and valid if he recites it kiddingly.[4]
Also, one of the conditions of divorce is that the woman should not be in her menses except in the following three circumstances:
1- If the husband has not had sexual intercourse with her at all after marriage.
2- If it is known that she is pregnant. If it is not known whether or not she is pregnant and the husband divorces her in the state of Hayz and later it transpires that she had been pregnant at the time of divorce, there is no problem in the divorce [The divorce is valid.].
3- If the husband is absent, and he is unable or it is difficult for him to ascertain whether or not she is pure from Hayz or Nifas."[5]
If a man divorces his wife before he has sexual intercourse with her, he should give half of the fixed dower to her.[6]
Otherwise, if he has sexual intercourse, he should give the whole of the fixed dower to her.
4. If the divorce contract has been recited once by the man then the woman would be separated from him and therefore, there would be no need to recite it again.
It should be noted that if the contract has been recited thrice but they refer to each other after each time (of reciting the contract), this divorce is called Bayen "بائن" (which means he cannot marry her again unless another man marries her next, (have sex), and then divorces her. This contract husband is called “Mohallel” or middleman) which it has especial rules. For further information in this regards, please refer to Index: "divorced three times at one sitting and Bayen Divorce", answer 27550.
5. As for the permanent marriage, how long should the Iddah of divorce be counted is as follows: the woman must wait till she menstruates twice and become pure if she wants to get married again. So, if she had her period for the third times her Iddah would be considered as finish. Otherwise, if the woman doesn’t menstruate but she is at the age of those women who menstruate she must wait three months after the divorce.[7] What the Iddah of a pregnant woman is to wait till her child will be born or aborted.[8]
As for the temporary marriage, if a woman menstruates she must wait as long as two periods (after the contract of temporary marriage has been finished or her husband granted the rest of it). Otherwise, her period of Iddah is 45 days.[9]
Edited by mahdi servant.01

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh?

Oops. I thought a threat of divorce was an announcement that the marriage is effectively over. Ah well, lesson learned.

Or maybe those idiots making the threat idly should learn a lesson to only say what they mean.

I'd rather they threaten the woman before they do so, maybe it will be a warning the woman in particular if she is disobedient. She will then start to have better akhlaaq and obedience knowing that her husband can divorce her at any time.

Effective strategy.

Edited by Revolving Ace

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Threatening with divorce is actual gender violence from my point of view, it is a pretty low way to treat the person who accepted you as her husband. There are more noble ways yo get obedience from a woman, one of them is being worthy of such obedience even after she's your wife. And hitting a woman out of anger... seriously, divorcing sounds much better from such a "man"...

Edited by Bakir

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'd rather they threaten the woman before they do so, maybe it will be a warning the woman in particular if she is disobedient. She will then start to have better akhlaaq and obedience knowing that her husband can divorce her at any time.

Effective strategy.

worst thing a man can do to her wife...its emotional abuse.

 He has to be really stupid if he thinks it's going to make things better.

Women crave for security and stability from their husbands. Men who constantly threaten their wives with divorce are just destroying their marriage. Even if they get the wife to obey them, she isn't doing it out of love or respect but out of fear. This is no way to be married, at least not a good one. Threatening divorce is not the way to deal with issues on marriage. the wife may initially shrivel at the mention of divorce but she will eventually get tired of it and will lose the fear. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh?

Oops. I thought a threat of divorce was an announcement that the marriage is effectively over. Ah well, lesson learned.

Or maybe those idiots making the threat idly should learn a lesson to only say what they mean.

 

Lool, yes well men are men so what can you say?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Salam Alaykum

As you have translated the verse, there has to be a different marriage with another man just in case the ex-husband had divorced her three times beforehand.

 

And what you said about some sunni school of thought's opinion pertains to above mentioned point which means some sunni scholars say if a man divorces his wife three times in one session (of course by saying: "I divorce you three times".) he has to follow the same description.

whereas shia scholars maintain there has to be three separated times which means he has to divorce him once, then refers and remarries her again, then divorce again and so on.

If this process happens three times there has to be a different marriage in between.

 

Therefore probably your sunni friends divorced his wife just once.

Edited by mostafaa

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is unfair, not all men threaten to divorce their wives.  :mad:

 

Sorry for the late reply. Of course not all men threaten divorce like its a game but if you watch Arabic soap operas like I do nowadays divorce is like a card game in all the shows, it's so easy and any one man can divorce their wives in 5 minutes. Even they do so divorce on Skype, Facebook, viber, and through text messaging also.

Yes, men are men. Women are women. Humans are humans. Animals are animals. What's the point of what you just said?

 

I simply mean that men tend to get angry & say mean stuff they later regret more often than women do. It's in the man's nature. I mean how many women do you know go around threatening divorce in a loud angry voice everyday??

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hamdella for the wise rulings of this beautiful and just religion, when you are angry walk away calm down and come back. In sunni you divorce off the bat. so foolish.

 

I was married for 15 years and my marriage suffered divorce abuse from both ends hahahah 

 

As for a man hitting his wife now that is the lowest of the low. If you cant live with her with out hitting then divorce and that goes for bossy females as well.

 

I have a friend that I see every couple months and let me tell you, everytime I see him he is wounded by his wife , scratches blue eye lol very funny

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...