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Nainawa'

Inlaws

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i NORMALLY do not post but thought to do so today, why is it that us women have to live with our in laws when this was discussed before marriage and how should one proceed in this case. Not that they are bad, but bye bye to privacy..

 

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i NORMALLY do not post but thought to do so today, why is it that us women have to live with our in laws when this was discussed before marriage and how should one proceed in this case. Not that they are bad, but bye bye to privacy..

........ welcome to south asian culture :)

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If he cannot afford it then you should live there as you have no choice.

But if he can afford to move out and you want to live alone, then he should IMO. Living with the in-laws will not breed a happy marriage no matter how nice they are. At the end of the day, you need your own space and privacy

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Bismillah.

 

Salaam sister.

 

As you know better than me, every issue has two-dimension aspects; you have to consider every issue's positive aspects as negative ones and try to reconcile. You have to keep this point in mind that it is not possible for us to live in the best way without any hardship and at last I want to mention a verse of the Wise Qur'an:

 

عسی‏ أَنْ تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئاً وَ هُوَ خَيْرٌ لَكُمْ وَ عَسى‏ أَنْ تُحِبُّوا شَيْئاً وَ هُوَ شَرٌّ لَكُمْ وَ اللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ وَ أَنْتُمْ لا تَعْلَمُون

 

“Yet it may be that you dislike something while it is good for you, and it may be that you love something while it is bad for you, and Allah knows and you do not know.” (2:216)

 

With Duas.

 

Narsis.

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i NORMALLY do not post but thought to do so today, why is it that us women have to live with our in laws when this was discussed before marriage and how should one proceed in this case. Not that they are bad, but bye bye to privacy..

there is nothing wrong with it as long as inlaws respect your rights and views. And you respect theirs.

infact in Islam good family terms increase your life and goodness in life.

it's beautiful and ofcourse there are problems at times. but its good to learn to live together rather separated and isolated like in the western culture the 'aadam behzaar' lifestyle!

Edited by Aftahb

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there is nothing wrong with it as long as inlaws respect your rights and views. And you respect theirs.

infact in Islam good family terms increase your life and goodness in life.

it's beautiful and ofcourse there are problems at times. but its good to learn to live together rather separated and isolated like in the western culture the 'aadam behzaar' lifestyle!

Let me tell you something- im an european revert and you know nothing about the West. Do not say in general. Is it nice if someone says ALL muslims are terrorists? No. So don't say about Western people in general as well.

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I completely agree on the privacy issue. I was born and raised in Pakistan and now live in US. My parents have been living in my house since we moved here. After marriage its not just the privacy that is affected, it is practically everything else. My wife was from Pakistan, but we found it difficult, even me, although they are my parents. 

 

Everything becomes public knowledge, whether you go shopping, buy gifts, raising your child, others have to give out opinions and expect them to be followed. Just an instance, once my son who was like three at the time, did something very wrong, and I wanted to discipline him with a time out. My father didn't let me - "he is just a little kid". But as the father, I wish I had more say in my own son's upbringing.

 

I just thing it is better to live as a couple on your own

 

Also, if it was promised to you, maybe the promise needs to be honored.

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Let me tell you something- im an european revert and you know nothing about the West. Do not say in general. Is it nice if someone says ALL muslims are terrorists? No. So don't say about Western people in general as well.

when we say west..its usually the United States not Europe. so calm down. Go take your anger out on wonderful anti islam protest around Europe!

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when we say west..its usually the United States not Europe. so calm down. Go take your anger out on wonderful anti islam protest around Europe!

A person who needs to calm down its you. So next time say US, not everyone knows that West for you means US.

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Let me tell you something- im an european revert and you know nothing about the West. Do not say in general. Is it nice if someone says ALL muslims are terrorists? No. So don't say about Western people in general as well.

 

when we say west..its usually the United States not Europe. so calm down. Go take your anger out on wonderful anti islam protest around Europe!

 

Dear brother Aftab! She is all right. We have to respect others and we cannot say that western people are generally like this and that. I have many western (American, Canadian and European) friends from different faiths and we have to respect all people specially western Muslims and the most honorable people with Allah (s), as He (s) says in the Qur'an, are the pious ones;

 

يا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ إِنَّا خَلَقْناكُمْ مِنْ ذَكَرٍ وَ أُنْثى‏ وَ جَعَلْناكُمْ شُعُوباً وَ قَبائِلَ لِتَعارَفُوا إِنَّ أَكْرَمَكُمْ عِنْدَ اللَّهِ أَتْقاكُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَليمٌ خَبيرٌ

 

O you men! surely We have created you of a male and a female, and made you tribes and families that you may know each other Surely the most honorable of you with Allah is the one among you most careful) of his duty (Surely Allah is Knowing, Aware. (49:31)

 

With Duas.

 

Narsis.

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A person who needs to calm down its you. So next time say US, not everyone knows that West for you means US.

West West West - Al Maghreb Al hezbulshayateen! :D

ok US

Dear brother Aftab! She is all right. We have to respect others and we cannot say that western people are generally like this and that. I have many western (American, Canadian and European) friends from different faiths and we have to respect all people specially western Muslims and the most honorable people with Allah (s), as He (s) says in the Qur'an, are the pious ones;

يا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ إِنَّا خَلَقْناكُمْ مِنْ ذَكَرٍ وَ أُنْثى‏ وَ جَعَلْناكُمْ شُعُوباً وَ قَبائِلَ لِتَعارَفُوا إِنَّ أَكْرَمَكُمْ عِنْدَ اللَّهِ أَتْقاكُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَليمٌ خَبيرٌ

O you men! surely We have created you of a male and a female, and made you tribes and families that you may know each other Surely the most honorable of you with Allah is the one among you most careful) of his duty (Surely Allah is Knowing, Aware. (49:31)

With Duas.

Narsis.

I am very glad to know that you're the UN on this forum.

my English is vry weak can you explain what you mean by 'especially western muslims' ?

what's so special about western muslims?

salam

Edited by Aftahb

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West West West - Al Maghreb Al hezbulshayateen! :D

ok US

I am very glad to know that you're the UN on this forum.

my English is vry weak can you explain what you mean by 'especially western muslims' ?

what's so special about western muslims?

salam

Chill brother

 

The only Hezbul shaytan here is you. 

 

Be a man and admit your mistakes when you make them.

 

peace

Edited by Khalilallah

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Im not angry or something but this is rude from you. You don't know all Western people and you made an opinion about us. We are different like all people in this world but if you think different, stay in your country where all people are good and problem is solved. :)

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Chill brother

The only Hezbul shaytan here is you.

Be a man and admit your mistakes when you make them.

peace

why do you like meddling into this?

is this your business? I don't think so.

dear brother mind your business.

yes im shayateen bc I support anyone who is against israel. :( (irony)

Im not angry or something but this is rude from you. You don't know all Western people and you made an opinion about us. We are different like all people in this world but if you think different, stay in your country where all people are good and problem is solved. :)

y r u still tryin to gain sympathy on this forum? did you not read wat I wrote in reply? ok US

now relax!

stay in your country. surely the day west decides to stop using and enslaving the east. we will stay in our country!

http://youtu.be/8jHQkfZT4Qw

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why do you like meddling into this?

is this your business? I don't think so.

dear brother mind your business.

yes im shayateen bc I support anyone who is against israel. :( (irony)

 

I am meddling into this because I can see your fault when you can't, so I am doing you a favour by showing you your fault so that you may improve yourself.

 

It is my business, as you are my brother and I am obliged by God to inform you of the good and bad.

 

Dear brother please listen to your brother and understand that we too have a mind equal if not better than yours and you should try to understand what we say.

 

We all support Haq and we all oppose Israel because it is an evil government. 

 

I just want you to be less hostile and more friendly with your Muslim brothers and sisters.

 

God bless you.

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I completely agree on the privacy issue. I was born and raised in Pakistan and now live in US. My parents have been living in my house since we moved here. After marriage its not just the privacy that is affected, it is practically everything else. My wife was from Pakistan, but we found it difficult, even me, although they are my parents. 

 

Everything becomes public knowledge, whether you go shopping, buy gifts, raising your child, others have to give out opinions and expect them to be followed. Just an instance, once my son who was like three at the time, did something very wrong, and I wanted to discipline him with a time out. My father didn't let me - "he is just a little kid". But as the father, I wish I had more say in my own son's upbringing.

 

I just thing it is better to live as a couple on your own

 

Also, if it was promised to you, maybe the promise needs to be honored.

  

  Our Parents need us more when they are old. Don't leave them because their opinion doesn't suite your wife's interest.

   I will NEVER EVER LEAVE my parents just for the sake of privacy. If you have separate room in your house, where you and   your wife can spend night together, i believe that is enough of Privacy needed. Respect them as they will never ever live forever, with you.

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