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In the Name of God بسم الله

Question To Converted Muslim/a: How You Spend Xmas

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Salam Aleikum dear sisters and brothers!

 

I want to know from converted sisters and brothers who have experiences with xmas especially with their kids.

How you had spent xmas with your christian family?

I am very interesting to know because Xmas isnt islamic,

How you had handled this special day of christians?

 

I had talked with my husband about xmas that I will avoid to stand up Xmas-Tree but he had told me he want to spend

Xmas with me and my girls. He had bought gifts for girls. He said me that he cherish Jesus and Mary.

We wont sing or pray on Xmas as christians just we want to have nice time on xmas for each other!

 

What think you all about that?

Opinion from born Muslim/a is welcoming also too!

 

What about Christmas dinner?

Do you make nice Christmas dinner? If yes what kind of dinner you will or had prepared?

 

I would be happy to know about some respond from converted or born Muslim/a!

 

Wasalam

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Salam Aleikum

 

of course my husband and I dont want to do anything against islamic law.

We talked about xmas and eating what we want to prepare for my christian girl and my family!

We want to spend each other and to know near each other on xmas the first time!

My husband want to see and spend with my christian family. Just always with islamic law!

 

I had thought alot about Xmas and Islam always whether it is allowed to do anything compatible with Islam!
It isnt easy for me because my husband and I are the only Muslima in my wholly christian relationsship.

We want to spend with christian to come close together.

I want to reach to get my family understanding more about meaning of Islam that the very conservative christian family

will open themselves about Islam without prejudice for example Islam is bad and terrible so as not free and force always.

Hjiab for example is sign of force from man to woman and so further! I want to get opportunity to tell them good things about Islam!

So they will accept me as Muslima and dont think wrong about my husband for example he would force me to do anything about what

I never would do that! I had done everything with my free decision. My husband let me free to decide whether I want or not!

He also supports me just! He and I want to be together side on side as Muslim married couple and my society will accept and understand that.

 

That is really very big challenge for me because they dont know that I am converted Muslima, I also am afraid before their reaction because of

prejudice about Islam! That is why!

 

Wasalam

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Salam Aleikum

 

it is really interesting with word of "xmas"!

In German it isnt word with christian! Word of German is "Weihnachten".

It describes night of blessing.

The English people use this special night with word of christian.

We say "Weihnachten" without word of "christians".

 

What I shall say "Weihnachten" with another english if I want to say anything!

Have you suggestion?

 

Wasalam

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This is a very difficult issue to deal with for reverts from a Christian background. 

As Christmas is the 'main event' from the vast majority of Christians, and it is everywhere in the media in Western countries, it is impossible to

avoid all together. Also, you response to Christmas will depend on what sort of 'slant' of Christianity your family follows. 

 

As for me, my family was/is Evangelical Christian(though some have become Muslim now, Alhamduillah) , so they would always use holidays such as Christmas and Easter to try to get me to go to Church with them and listen to their Evangelical propaganda which includes all their opinions about why Islam is wrong and Christ died for your sins and this is the essence of everything, etc, etc. It wasn't a big deal for me and I used to go to Christmas and other holidays and listen and debate with them. I developed a 'sixth sense' about when the debates were getting out of hand and they were starting to get upset so then I would change the subject. 

 

This all changed when I had children. I never took my children to see my Christian family during Christmas or Easter (but I would go other times of the year)because I didn't want my young children to get the propaganda while they did not know how to deal with it and I didn't want them to develop a non rational ,emotional attachment to these holidays. Because if this attachment did develop, I was pretty sure that my Christian relatives would use this in order to confuse my children in the future(because this is what they tried to do with me). I was never worried about them converting to Christianity, but I was worried about them getting confused (at least until they developed the ability to rationally think thru  these issues) and developing attachments to things that were un-Islamic. 

 

My Christian family is now used to the fact that they don't see me around the holidays. I will call them and wish them a 'Merry Christmas' but I don't participate in the Holiday traditions with them. I now have a good excuse since I live 2000 miles away now from where most of my Christian family live.  This has worked for me because I still have a relationship with them, i.e. I still do my Islamic duty of Silat Ar Rahim(maintaining relationships with blood relatives) but at the same time my children haven't been affected in a negative way by this. 

 

I don't recommend this for everyone, and if your family is more tolerant, the holidays don't involve alcohol, and you don't feel children will be affected and confused by the holiday traditions, then Islamically there is nothing wrong with celebrating Christmas with your Christian family as long as you are clear that your Niyyat(intention) is to do 'Silat Ar Rahim' and not to celebrate the birth of Jesus(p.b.u.h) because Jesus(p.b.u.h) was not born in December and he was born in late summer / early fall time in Palestine. If you are going to celebrate the birth of Jesus(p.b.u.h) you should do it at the proper time. 

Edited by Abu Hadi
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Salam Aleikum

 

thank you for your open opinion. It is very interesting to know about that!

You are right to say that it is very difficult issue how to handle with christians such on this speical day!

My husband and I dont go to my christian family and celebrate with them on their christian kind.

Just I have my girls and we understand that my girls want to share of them always because they are little yet.

Just 4 and 10 years old!

We give them time to know Islam near so as my husband gives me time to develop myself als Shia Muslima.

Everything needs time! All what is haram we dont practice that! Only everything compatible with halal!

That is very important for me and my husband! Always compatible with Islamic Law!

Really it is my first "Weihnachten" with my husband and my girls! That is why I had thought alot about that and how to handle that.

 

I havent made this experience therefore and want to know more about view of brothers and sisters here in this forum!

 

Wasalam

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Media propagation. To slowly remove his name.

And we know who owns the media dont we?

The use of the word Xmas as an abbreviation for Christmas dates back to the 1500's, long before any modern media.  :angel: Wikipedia says "16th century." That means the 1500's.

Edited by hameedeh
Wikipedia is the source.
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Salam Aleikum

 

I know that but here in this forum they advise me not to write the word of xmas because of connection with christian.

If someone knows the another word for xmas I will use the another word for Xmas!

 

Really Islam is the new and impressed world for me and I need to know more about that to become one with Islam with time!

That is why I come to this forum to know more about Islam and want to exploit my knowledge and to get opportunities to develop

myself to Muslima with widened view!

It is very nice to know each other here in this forum! It is very worth and revealing for me!

This side is great and worthwhile to visit it regularly! Might Allah show me in this way further! Insallah!
 

Wasalam

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In the US, Christmas is a family day, for families to get together. My Christian family celebrates Christmas, but we don't go there on Christmas Day. We might go somewhere before Christmas and their house is decorated, then we are happy for them because they are happy. However, my Muslim family does not celebrate Christmas nor decorate the house or anything like that. We celebrate the Islamic Eids. We always send Christmas cards to Christian family and friends and tell them Merry Christmas if we are on the phone with them. We don't buy Christmas gifts, but give them gifts on their birthdays or wedding anniversaries. If they send us Christmas cards or gifts, I call them and thank them profusely. My children get excited at Christmas time, because they do not have to go to school. We make sure our kids get gifts on Islamic holidays. We buy something for them after Christmas just because we love them. In January when they go back to school, if the teacher asks what did you get for Christmas, they can talk about the gift we bought them after Christmas. :shifty:  

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Salam Aleikum

 

that is very interesting what you had written about gift and celebration.

You wrote you buy gift on islamic holiday! I havent idea about that.

Maybe you might to tell me more about that! I need to know more about that.

My husband didnt tell me such this topic because he always begged me to be patient and to go

step by step to know Islam and everything in connection with Islam and tradition.

I havent idea alot!

 

You said you give gift on birthday or wedding. That is compatible with Islam and Qu-ran??

Dear sister it would be very nice to clarify me more! I will correct and improve with time with support from Allah!

 

Wasalam 

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Not a convert, still a Christian but have two cents.

Many Christian looking people use Xmas, but I don't know any devout Christians who do. Christian looking people seem to prefer Santa Claus. 

Abu Hadi mentions not confusing his children, imagine what Santa Claus does. My wife's tradition included a santa claus on Christmas eve. My response was "Must we lie to our children for yet another year?" Besides that we always ended up at the in-laws, where Xmas is like every other holiday, drink, drink, drink. Fixed that too. No more Santa, no more drinking, no more anything that is not reverence to the reason for Christmas. If relatives become a negative force in your life, "Silat Ar Rahim" becomes difficult, My wife's family (sister) actually but I'm not the guy to put up with these things for long. My bro in law booze hound hasn't spoken to me in years. Wife and family are just starting to make amends in proper ways. Even though any religion would tell you to keep family close, I do have moral issues and can't bend, so they will have to. Sometimes patience looks like apathy, but I haven't minded loving them from a distance. The family will eventually be back together, but my terms need be respected. That's just me causing trouble tho...

 

I really don't go for this Jesus was born in the summer, so... I say, either come up with a date, or leave it alone. I don't recall a "Remembereth it not thine day of birth, nor those who deserve honour" commandment, so I'm assuming it was a decision made by a mortal man. Why can you not have such a date to remember Muhammad? 

 

The Muslims around me are Ishmaeli, (don't know what that means to you) but they have a tree, set up lights, and exchange gifts and have no problem wishing people a Merry Christmas. (They don't do santa) The atheists are the biggest antagonists now days.

Why do Christmas? Because the Quran speaks very highly of Jesus, and so do the Christians. Jews, not so much. We have one Jew coming for Christmas dinner. All is within his dietary laws, (except the dressing,..giblets), May not be technically kosher, but we'll ask God's blessing for it first. ;) 

 

It sounds like this will be a very interesting Christmas for you this year. Not knowing your parents, I can't tell you what their reaction would be, nor the best way to go about it, but I would suggest, don't let it ruin Christmas, Ask Abu Hadi about his sixth sense.

 

I very much hope and will pray this goes well for you.

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عربي:
كيف يكون الاحتفال بميلاد السيّد المسيح؟ يجيب سماحة العلامة المرجع، السيّد محمّد حسين فضل الله(رض) في هذا المقطع، بأنّ علينا أن نحتفل به كما احتفل القرآن الكريم، الّذي لم يتحدّث عن ميلاد أيّ شخص مقدّس بالتّفاصيل كما تحدّث عن ميلاد المسيح(ع) وعن أمّه الصّدّيقة الطّاهرة مريم الّتي نذرتها أمّها لله سبحانه...
 
English:
In this video, His Eminence, the late Religious Authority, Sayyed Muhammad Hussein Fadlullah (ra), discusses how to celebrate the birth anniversary of Jesus Christ (a.s.). He says that the celebration should conform to the Quran that never talked about the birth of any sacred person with all the details the way it talked about the birth of Jesus Christ (a.s.) and his mother, lady Mary, the pure sanctified woman whom her mother had vowed her to be devoted to Allah's service.
 
Francais:
Dans cette vidéo, Son Eminence l'Autorité religieuse Sayed Mohammad Hussein Fadlallah (ra) discute de la façon de célébrer l'anniversaire de la naissance de Jésus-Christ (as). Il dit que la célébration doit être conforme au Coran qui n'a jamais parlé de la naissance de n'importe quelle personne sacrée en détail de la façon dont il a parlé de la naissance de Jésus-Christ (as) et sa mère, la Sainte Marie, la femme pure sanctifiée, dont sa mère lui avait promis de la consacrer au service d'Allah.
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Please i implore you, dont use the word x-mas. X means deletion. It replaces the word "christ" for x.

No it doesn't mean that at all. X is the Greek letter "chi" which is short for "Christ".

We exchange gifts, and discuss the prophet Isa. We visit family and share a meal. I don't decorate, but I don't really see any reason not to if it pleases you and your family.

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Salam Aleikum

 

that is very interesting what you had written about gift and celebration.

You wrote you buy gift on islamic holiday! I havent idea about that.

Maybe you might to tell me more about that! I need to know more about that.

My husband didnt tell me such this topic because he always begged me to be patient and to go

step by step to know Islam and everything in connection with Islam and tradition.

I havent idea alot!

 

You said you give gift on birthday or wedding. That is compatible with Islam and Qu-ran??

Dear sister it would be very nice to clarify me more! I will correct and improve with time with support from Allah!

 

Wasalam

Sister, gifts are very much a part of Islam. Generosity is good in every religion. Chrisitans in the US give cards and gifts at Christmas time for family, relatives, friends, and neighbors. Some people send Merry Christmas emails because they cannot afford to buy and mail cards.

Muslims can buy gifts for others, at any time of the year, especially on Islamic holidays. Allah mentions the word gift in the Holy Qur'an. Gifts don't have to be expensive: a box of pastry or candy, a basket of fruit or a bag of nuts. It is a small sign of kindness to one another. A gift card is not very good because the person might buy alcohol with it.

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(salam)

 

Before I moved away into the wilderness with my wives and kids, Christmas time  was one of my worst times for me.

As all my wives were ex-christians, most of their extended families celebrated christmas like most christians do.

There was the catholic version of celebration and the orthodox way which are quite different.

I remember many years ago when I was a kid , Christmas was a family thing as I grew up in Australia.

During the early days of marriage when all my nieces and nephews were babies , it was a very harmless family gathering , of good food , family , gifts and laughter. A time to reflect the year and catching up on missed members who were no longer with us.

It was innocent and pleasant.

Then over the years as I watched my nieces and nephews grow up , it turned into something different.

Alchohol started to be introduced and pleasant family gathering turned into binge drinking contests.

Loud vile music was played and there was no more of that innocent christmas cheer and religious hymns and carols.

The :Halal foods were not that plentiful anymore and were replaced with junk foods , and worst of all , no more samosas .

That was the straw that broke the camels back.

We stop attending and distant ourselves from such gatherings.

Things have change so much, and maybe these eminent scholars would say such things to promote better relations between faiths , but I bet you they have  witnessed what really goes on in the west especially today, they would advise differently.

But with all that said and done , if there is a way to enter such places and take your gifts and samosas and leave without being thrown into hellfire , then why not ?

 

ws

Edited by :Sami II
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Salam Aleikum

 

that is really very interesting to read different respond. Now I get opportunity again to post here again.

Yes it is really different and difficult likely how to spend Xmas as Muslime under christians family and relationsship.

This year it is first time to think alot about that how I shall do and how I can cook halal dish for my husband and for my girls.

I am very busy to consider and to consider without stop. It is very special and new for me as Muslima.

Really I dont feel any for Xmas as Muslime! My feeling is changed much since I convert to Shia.

I am busy to think what I shall do to make on this day! Very difficult for me like never before!

That is why I want to know about what the another converted Muslim/a had done or had made experiences such like this!

 

I know I need little time to make such experiences how to do and to handle it right compatible with Islam and Shia.

At the moment I sit between two chairs that are my kids who are catholic yet and my husband! I want to go the right way with Islam.

That is very important for me that is why I am concerned to do the best for me and my husband with my girls and his girls.

My husband advised me not to think much and begged me to be patient! Everything needs time!

It isnt easy for me. Everything is new for me! As recently as last year ago I was catholic believer! Last year I never would imagine that

next year will be changed much for me like never before!

 

And I want go the way and follow instruction of Allah swt. in this life and now! Not later and no excuses!

 

Wasalam

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Wasalam

 

I dont miss the christian world really.

I want to stay in my new world of Islam that I want to go my way with Allah swt.!

 

I feel good with Allah swt.

Why I shall miss anything from christian world! That was my old world!

But I need to know more about Islam and lifestyle as Muslima to be one with them! Insallah!

 

I dont change my mind for my christian family therefore! I am responsible for my own soul and my own life whether it is good or not.

Trying the best in this life is very important so Allah swt. will know my effort in this life so long as I life I will get my peace after ending of life!

 

What I prefer to give effort to go to paradise! This life may hard and full of obstacles but Allah swt. will reward back more than before just the priority

I am with Allah swt. always and think Allah is the only God so I pray and serve to Allah swt. only!

 

Wasalam

 

Wasalam

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Before I moved away into the wilderness with my wives and kids,

 

Did you move into the wilderness with your kids or with your wives' kids?

 

was Salam

I am with Allah swt. always and think Allah is the only God so I pray and serve to Allah swt. only!

 

I am sure you will succeed in the eyes of God. 

was salam

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Salam Aleikum

 

thank you for your best wish!

I hope that! Not just for me! I want the same to you and the another sisters and brothers!

If all sisters and brothers are in good condition so I can say I am satisfied and thank Allah swt. alot for

nice sisters and brothers! I am happy to get permission to be one of Muslim Sisters and Brothers!

That is great to know and to feel knowing not alone in this greedy and terrible world!

I always will know there are sisters and brothers who want to help each other and to be each other side on side!

 

I thank Allah swt. alot to exploit my knowledge about Islam and Shia also too to get overview!

This forum is great and precious to visit there regularly! I love that and it makes me happy also to be updated always!

 

Wasalam

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Salam Aleikum

 

thank you for your concern!

I thank Allah swt. that it was going well with everything.

We had spent Xmas very nice and we had eaten first German Dish.

Later we had handing out of presents at Christmas.

Girls were thrilled about gifts and my husband and I just wanted the joy for girls.

 

My brother was coming to us and my husband talked alot with my brother.

Very nice conversations full of laughing and understanding.

I was very happy about development because my husband and my brother liked each other and are similar in their kind! That was why they understood each other naturally. Thank Allah I have very nice understanding brother. I am very sure he will understand my decision to be Muslima and he will support me with my bigotted parent. Insallah!

 

I will need little time with coming out and I need really little time because I want to pray to Allah swt. alot to give me courage to go this way. Subhana-ilah!

 

Wasalam

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Salam Aleikum

 

thank you for your concern!

I thank Allah swt. that it was going well with everything.

We had spent Xmas very nice and we had eaten first German Dish.

Later we had handing out of presents at Christmas.

Girls were thrilled about gifts and my husband and I just wanted the joy for girls.

 

My brother was coming to us and my husband talked alot with my brother.

Very nice conversations full of laughing and understanding.

I was very happy about development because my husband and my brother liked each other and are similar in their kind! That was why they understood each other naturally. Thank Allah I have very nice understanding brother. I am very sure he will understand my decision to be Muslima and he will support me with my bigotted parent. Insallah!

 

I will need little time with coming out and I need really little time because I want to pray to Allah swt. alot to give me courage to go this way. Subhana-ilah!

 

Wasalam

Take all the time you need but leave the timing to God.

Edited by Son of Placid
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  • 3 weeks later...
  • Forum Administrators

Sister Zainab, it is not necessary to tell your parents that you became Muslim if you think they will be angry about it. When they know that you and your husband love each other and your children are happy, then later on when the time is right you can tell them. 

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