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In the Name of God بسم الله
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Khalilallah

What Comes Before Proposal?

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My advice was to wear something subtle and not to apply too much cologne if you read what I said carefully, but you're right, people do have allergies nowadays.

 

Yes, but "subtle yet noticeable" is still too much in some cases.  

 

I don't have an allergy myself, but I've noticed some schools and workplaces say they try to be scent-free, so it is becoming an issue in society... and in case the girl has a family member with the issue (or the girl herself), I think it's better to play it safe at first anyway.

 

It's also easy for too much to be applied, so personally, I think it's better to just use deodorant/anti-perspirant (also, health-wise, it's worth paying extra to get an aluminum-free kind).

You can't go wrong with something between "professional" and "business casual". You want to be comfortable, but look smart.

Jeans and a nice shirt might be ok, but it wouldn't hurt to take it up a notch.

 

I agree... for a shirt, I think it would be better to wear one with that has some kind of collar.

 

But not a "popped-collar" hopefully  :lol:   You fortunately don't seem like that kind of guy though :)

Edited by Bright

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What usually comes up is money.

 

When I am asked what I do, I reply I am a student and I am asked if I can provide for my wife.

 

So shelter is provided by parents if she wants to move in. what remains is food and clothing and healthcare which I can provide for. Will this be sufficient?

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Well, they're going to want to know your long-term plans, and that may be an issue based on what you've written in the past.

 

As people wrote in that other thread, you might have to change those plans if you want to get married sooner... because if a full-time job is like 8+ years away, I think a lot of parents would have some concern about it.

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I agree... for a shirt, I think it would be better to wear one with that has some kind of collar.

 

But not a "popped-collar" hopefully  :lol:   You fortunately don't seem like that kind of guy though :)

Lol, I need to go buy some new shirts, I recently did my shopping but I only got short sleeve shirts.

 

So is Khakis with a polo shirt and jumper and a medium length black coat ok?

 

Should I wear shoes?

Well, they're going to want to know your long-term plans, and that may be an issue based on what you've written in the past.

 

As people wrote in that other thread, you might have to change those plans if you want to get married sooner... because if a full-time job is like 8+ years away, I think a lot of parents would have some concern about it.

Its not like I will leave her with a Camel in a desert. I will only be with my parents for 2 more years then I will have my own place, Even if a full time job is 10 years away I will be providing for her what ever she needs, so why is this a problem?

 

Also those flowers I take for the mother, they can't be red roses, so white flowers I am guessing?

Edited by Khalilallah

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Lol, I need to go buy some new shirts, I recently did my shopping but I only for short sleeve shirts.

 

So is Khakis with a polo shirt and jumper and a medium length black coat ok?

 

Should I wear shoes?

 
I think khakis are good, but I would avoid ones that have pockets ("cargo pants").  A polo shirt might be good enough, but I think a long-sleeve dress shirt would be better.  I'm guessing you could find probably find one for 10 Pounds or less...  Maybe there are stores or web sites with nice shirts on clearance?
 
I don't know about shoes... do people in the UK wear shoes inside the house?   But the shoes you wear to the house/doorstep should go along with the rest of the outfit.
 
 

Its not like I will leave her with a Camel in a desert. Even if a full time job is 10 years away I will be providing for her what ever she needs, so why is this a problem?

 

In my view, if a guy is hard-working and intelligent (regarding this issue, leaving aside other compatibility factors), then that's good enough because a lot of good things flow out of those 2 qualities.  

 

But I'm just saying as a factual statement, I think a lot of parents want a clear path to a middle-class (or upper-class) lifestyle for their daughter.

 

I think that's why you see in other threads, people mention issues due to parents looking for a groom who is a doctor or engineer (or on that track), or some other high-salary job. 

 

To some extent though, I think parents who have lived in a Western country for a long time won't care as much about that... they more so would want someone who will treat their daughter well.  But my guess is that it will be an issue in at least some cases, so it would be better to think ahead of time about how to address any of those concerns.

Edited by Bright

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Alas I can only be myself, she can take it or leave it.

 

 

 
 
I think khakis are good, but I would avoid ones that have pockets ("cargo pants").  A polo shirt might be good enough, but I think a long-sleeve dress shirt would be better.  I'm guessing you could find probably find one for 10 Pounds or less...  Maybe there are stores or web sites with nice shirts on clearance?
 
I don't know about shoes... do people in the UK wear shoes inside the house?   But the shoes you wear to the house/doorstep should go along with the rest of the outfit.
 

 

they are black leather shoes, and only probably goes with black trousers. I have cargo pants lol, should I avoid them?

 

Why are Cargo pants so bad? I love them!

 

So Khaki colour long boots, with cargo pants, a polo or shirt and a sleeveless v neck jumper. sound ok? then I have my black coat on top which I take off once inside.


I do not think clothing matters that much.

Edited by Khalilallah

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I dunno, I would really avoid cargo pants. I mean ironically, they tend to be more expensive than regular khakis, because it takes more fabric and work to add the additional pockets.

 

But because their original design/usage was for labour-type jobs, I think they're seen as much more casual.  

 

I don't know about long boots either... I think the black shoes you mentioned would be better, but a family member could give you better advice about that, since they know what the shoes/boots look like.

 

Otherwise, the outfit sounds good.   Is the sleeveless v-neck jumper a knit sweater?  Those have a connotation of sophistication, I think.

 

But a long-sleeve collared shirt underneath is better for that.  A place like H&M probably has some low-price ones (I don't know about other affordable European chains, except Primark... but I don't know how their quality is).  

Edited by Bright

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You don't have to treat this as a job interview, just avoid dressing loud and dress tidy, be respectful and comfortable in your skin.  They should give you a reasonable shot, what you end up discussing with your potential spouse is far more important and you should definitely focus on the kinds of questions you want to ask and the general nature of the discussion.

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I remember driving the long driveway to the nursing home , to meet my wife no.3 , I was so nervous.

But I had to look good and wear bright colours as she couldn't see properly.

I remember her sitting in the wheelchair , with nice pink fluffy gown .

She just kept staring at me then I realised that she just had her meds and was not all there.

When she did finally come around , we had a nice chat , though I had to yell as her hearing is not the best.

We went for a walk together , but first she had to visit the bathroom.

I heard she had a weakness for chocolates , so I took a box of the best chocolates , unfortunately the nurse said her blood sugar level was very high so she couldn't have any. 

I remember getting down on my knees to propose to her because she passed out on the floor from having to many chocolates.

Enjoy these early moments bro , as you will be talking one day to your grandkids and some random bros and sis on SC about it .

Edited by :Sami II

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I remember driving the long driveway to the nursing home , to meet my wife no.3 , I was so nervous.

But I had to look good and wear bright colours as she couldn't see properly.

I remember her sitting in the wheelchair , with nice pink fluffy gown .

She just kept staring at me then I realised that she just had her meds and was not all there.

When she did finally come around , we had a nice chat , though I had to yell as her hearing is not the best.

We went for a walk together , but first she had to visit the bathroom.

I heard she had a weakness for chocolates , so I took a box of the best chocolates , unfortunately the nurse said her blood sugar level was very high so she couldn't have any. 

I remember getting down on my knees to propose to her because she passed out on the floor from having to many chocolates.

Enjoy these early moments bro , as you will be talking one day to your grandkids and some random bros and sis on SC about it .

:LOL:

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