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In the Name of God بسم الله

Fatwa For Youth On Masturbation?

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Salmaalekum,

 

I would like to know why can't a fatwa be passed specially for youths living in the west. So it can help ease and alleviate the suffering, and guilt that is attached to masturbating?

 

Millions of young man and woman who can't get married at a young age for various reasons specially "education", are indulge in this act not by choice, but it is inescapable for young healthy adult to shut off his/her desire completely until marriage. Or control it by fasting etc. for a long period of time!

 

                                                                                             My story

I have tried every tactics there are in the book in order to stop masturbation. And when i say i "tried" let me tell you, i have been through hell!

So, it has been now 2 years since i have been fighting this battle, first let me tell you how i was before, when i did not touch upon this topic. "Peace of mind, high confidence, stress free, positive feelings, loved life, studying, going to college, going out, meeting people, going to mosque, etc. Were some of the things i used to do, before i tried stopping masturbation.

 

And now let me tell you what has happened to me while i tried to stop masturbating after i contacted marja/ ayatollah; SEVERELY DEPRESSED FOR TWO YEARS, ANXIETY, STRESS, CONSTANT FEELING OF GUILT, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, DON'T LIKE TO PRAY, STOP GOING OUT AND SPEAKING TO ANYONE, NERVOUSNESS, QUIT COLLEGE etc.

 

I know that it is my fault, that i went so deeper into this topic in order to stop masturbation . But it was only to please Allah and remove that burden off my chest, but i still failed. Plus getting the advice from marja did not help my suffering, as it just kept pushing me deeper in to the hole i was already in.   

 

Lastly, i would like to know what you guys opinion on this subject, i know that i am not the only one who has been consumed by this matter. And i did many researched and found out many such stories like mine. Where the youth had gone far as trying to end his life, from the suffering.

At the moment i have just accepted my self, which has given me confidence, and peace of mind! 

 

Ali 

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Education is no excuse for not getting married when it is wajib on you to get married.

 

I am in education, I am completely skint and broke financially but hoorah! Rizq is from Allah!

 

Go to an Alim and ask him to find you a wife, he will find you one or at least point you in the right direction, I have tried this and it works.

 

If not that then do Mut'ah with a Kitabi or divorced Muslim women.

 

If not that then do Mut'ah with a prostitute, some Marjas like Khamanei have allowed it as Makroh (bad but still not haram).

 

If you are scared of the last option then fast or tell your parents to find you a wife and tell them that you are falling to masturbation. That should wake them up.

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  • Advanced Member

Thank you for sharing your story. This is a problem that several people are facing due to filth floating around this modern age and our more "progressed", unnatural lifestyles.

 

Clearly, you are an addict. It seems your masturbation is a symptom of a deeper problem and you are using masturbation to cope with it. I'm assuming this because of the extreme compulsion you have towards this. Some people choose to binge on food, others will find other stimuli to indulge in, you have chosen masturbation to be your source of comfort. I would advise you to get professional help with whatever deeper issues you may have.

 

Unfortunately, people who have fallen into this sin continue to do this even after they get married, and I'm getting the feeling that you will continue in this pattern as well. Marriage is not a crutch for you to not masturbate and to approach it with that attitude could be a great injustice to your future wife. Regardless of whether you get married now or later, you need to learn to solve this issue and end it forever. If you've gone days without it, you will naturally experience withdrawal symptoms. You may feel depressed, even sexually down, but for addicts, they will go back to normal after some time off the drugs or behavior.

 

Have you actually gone an extended period of time without it? If so, how many days?

Edited by Abd az Zahra
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Self induced Masturbation is absolutely disgusting! I see it as equal as homosexuality. You have other issues, if not masturbating makes you want to end your life. This is absolutely horrid that you feel the need to end your life for a few seconds of disgusting self induced pleasure. You would rather stop for a fatwa but not Allah swt? Go and get married please. If you cannot, then tell you parents about your issue because you are willfully building up your sins and you will be held accountable. There are no excuses, so lets not make any please.

 

If it makes you feel any better, here is a fatwa:

 

Question: What does Islam say about masturbation? If a man is doing this what type of punishment will he deserve and how can he do get Tawba?

 

Answer: He has committed a forbidden act. Repentance and seeking God's forgiveness would be sufficient for forgiveness.
 
Edited by PureEthics
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You are being silly, the only reason why good men such as the OP masturbate is because he has no other way of getting his lust out of him. How can you say being married won't make a difference to masturbation? 

 

And you are assuming all men will carry on masturbating after marriage - biggest mistake of the century. 

 

This is what I mean when I say do not listen to unicorn lovers, OP please take my advice. which is post #1

 

Kk whatever you say :)

 

To clarify, I did not intend to discourage OP from getting married. By all means, OP, you should consider seeking that outlet asap. It's good that you took the first step and disclosed your matter here. This is a difficult issue and it has genuinely hurt a lot of muslim brothers. But there is always hope and this can definitely be overcome.

 

Al the best!

Edited by Abd az Zahra
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Thank you for sharing your story. This is a problem that several people are facing due to filth floating around this modern age and our more "progressed", unnatural lifestyles.

 

Clearly, you are an addict. It seems your masturbation is a symptom of a deeper problem and you are using masturbation to cope with it. I'm assuming this because of the extreme compulsion you have towards this. Some people choose to binge on food, others will find other stimuli to indulge in, you have chosen masturbation to be your source of comfort. I would advise you to get professional help with whatever deeper issues you may have.

 

Unfortunately, people who have fallen into this sin continue to do this even after they get married, and I'm getting the feeling that you will continue in this pattern as well. Marriage is not a crutch for you to not masturbate and to approach it with that attitude could be a great injustice to your future wife. Regardless of whether you get married now or later, you need to learn to solve this issue and end it forever. If you've gone days without it, you will naturally experience withdrawal symptoms. You may feel depressed, even sexually down, but for addicts, they will go back to normal after some time off the drugs or behavior.

 

Have you actually gone an extended period of time without it? If so, how many days?

when i was first masturbating, i never had addiction or anything like that,  i would normally do it 3 to 4 times a week. And get on with my life without thinking to much. But when i tried to stop, first i went one week, and than i thought i had overcame this hurdle so i was happy. But than it happened again so i end up controlling myself for one month. But still after a month i would slip up, so i realized there is no way i can stop this habit. 

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Education is no excuse for not getting married when it is wajib on you to get married.

 

I am in education, I am completely skint and broke financially but hoorah! Rizq is from Allah!

 

Go to an Alim and ask him to find you a wife, he will find you one or at least point you in the right direction, I have tried this and it works.

 

If not that then do Mut'ah with a Kitabi or divorced Muslim women.

 

If not that then do Mut'ah with a prostitute, some Marjas like Khamanei have allowed it as Makroh (bad but still not haram).

 

If you are scared of the last option then fast or tell your parents to find you a wife and tell them that you are falling to masturbation. That should wake them up.

bro, if it was so easy for me to getting married than i wouldn't be writing my story here. But i am trying my best to get married soon, as this the last option on the table. 

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  • Basic Members

Salmaalekum,

 

I would like to know why can't a fatwa be passed specially for youths living in the west. So it can help ease and alleviate the suffering, and guilt that is attached to masturbating?

 

Millions of young man and woman who can't get married at a young age for various reasons specially "education", are indulge in this act not by choice, but it is inescapable for young healthy adult to shut off his/her desire completely until marriage. Or control it by fasting etc. for a long period of time!

 

                                                                                             My story

I have tried every tactics there are in the book in order to stop masturbation. And when i say i "tried" let me tell you, i have been through hell!

So, it has been now 2 years since i have been fighting this battle, first let me tell you how i was before, when i did not touch upon this topic. "Peace of mind, high confidence, stress free, positive feelings, loved life, studying, going to college, going out, meeting people, going to mosque, etc. Were some of the things i used to do, before i tried stopping masturbation.

 

And now let me tell you what has happened to me while i tried to stop masturbating after i contacted marja/ ayatollah; SEVERELY DEPRESSED FOR TWO YEARS, ANXIETY, STRESS, CONSTANT FEELING OF GUILT, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, DON'T LIKE TO PRAY, STOP GOING OUT AND SPEAKING TO ANYONE, NERVOUSNESS, QUIT COLLEGE etc.

 

I know that it is my fault, that i went so deeper into this topic in order to stop masturbation . But it was only to please Allah and remove that burden off my chest, but i still failed. Plus getting the advice from marja did not help my suffering, as it just kept pushing me deeper in to the hole i was already in.   

 

Lastly, i would like to know what you guys opinion on this subject, i know that i am not the only one who has been consumed by this matter. And i did many researched and found out many such stories like mine. Where the youth had gone far as trying to end his life, from the suffering.

At the moment i have just accepted my self, which has given me confidence, and peace of mind! 

 

Ali 

First of all i don't have a addiction, second i don't watch porn. I already know the only solution to overcoming masturbation is marriage. But i wrote this post, because i feel there should be ease in restriction regarding fatwa on masturbation. I don't mean to be offensive, but many people who pass these fatwa back home, did not went through what i have went through, nor did they lived there youth in the west. I feel instead of easing their misery some of the judgement make their lives miserable. Hence it makes them turn away from islam forever!

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  • Basic Members

Thank you for sharing your story. This is a problem that several people are facing due to filth floating around this modern age and our more "progressed", unnatural lifestyles.

 

Clearly, you are an addict. It seems your masturbation is a symptom of a deeper problem and you are using masturbation to cope with it. I'm assuming this because of the extreme compulsion you have towards this. Some people choose to binge on food, others will find other stimuli to indulge in, you have chosen masturbation to be your source of comfort. I would advise you to get professional help with whatever deeper issues you may have.

 

Unfortunately, people who have fallen into this sin continue to do this even after they get married, and I'm getting the feeling that you will continue in this pattern as well. Marriage is not a crutch for you to not masturbate and to approach it with that attitude could be a great injustice to your future wife. Regardless of whether you get married now or later, you need to learn to solve this issue and end it forever. If you've gone days without it, you will naturally experience withdrawal symptoms. You may feel depressed, even sexually down, but for addicts, they will go back to normal after some time off the drugs or behavior.

 

Have you actually gone an extended period of time without it? If so, how many days?

if i am masturbating once or twice a month would you still call me addict, when it is absolutely healthy to masturbate 4 to 5 times a week. When you take out religion out of the equation. The problem is not the addiction, it is the suffering from the guilt. Why would i even care to write this post, when i wanted to end masturbation through marriage, rather to carry inside my marriage?

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bro, if it was so easy for me to getting married than i wouldn't be writing my story here. But i am trying my best to get married soon, as this the last option on the table. 

 

As per Marja it become wajib for a man or woman to get married if they are going into sin due to lust/sex/desire. You have to follow instruction of Marja, no other way to find solution.

 

Few points can reduce that desire but they are not actual solution :

  • Not cleaning hair from body except the wajib clean area can reduce that desire.
  • Stay more in group instead of alone.
  • Spend more time in between family members or outside with friends
  • Follow this rule given by Imam Ali (as) : " first sight on a girl without intention is no problem, but if someone look her again .. he will get indulge in fitna "  .. very simple and clear.
  • Imam Ali (as) : Also said when you got attracted by a Na Mehram , reach your wife. She is having same things which that Na Mehram have.

Obedient to  Allah and Rules by Allah is the only solution whether you get married or not.

 

An Example : Some guys are giving example .. Not having beard is not that kind of Sin. But its clearly said .. if you consider sin as small it will become Gunah-e-Kabeera. So not having beard by putting any excuse will directly lead to Gunah-e-Kabeera.

 

You can put the above example and make your situation according. Masturbation is sin .. if you are consider it small then it automatically become Big Sin bcoz you are treating it small.

Edited by alirex
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First of all i don't have a addiction, second i don't watch porn. I already know the only solution to overcoming masturbation is marriage. But i wrote this post, because i feel there should be ease in restriction regarding fatwa on masturbation. I don't mean to be offensive, but many people who pass these fatwa back home, did not went through what i have went through, nor did they lived there youth in the west. I feel instead of easing their misery some of the judgement make their lives miserable. Hence it makes them turn away from islam forever!

What makes such people turn away from Islam forever is not because of the prohibition of this act but because they do not believe in God's unconditional mercy in forgiving sins and because they believe they can attain salvation through their own hard works and effort rather than by God's grace, love, mercy, and forgiveness.  Simply put, they left their religion because they are arrogant.  

Edited by eThErEaL
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I read many of these posts. Brother Khalilallah suggested that the OP do mut3ah. I do not see as to why the OP should not do it. Mut3ah was put in place to combat such problems as masturbation. If I am not mistaken, mut3ah is even more encouraged in the case of the OP. I would say mustahab or wajib but I am not anyone to give such rulings.

SO OP DO MUT3AH.

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(salam)

i am a young guy and i find mutah impossible/hard and complicated to initiate.. especially when you consider the atitudes of people here

sometimes a man can only control the urges for so long until he will inevitably break..therefore masturbation is often the only way out, even with the shame and damage it brings.

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Take my advice, Nikah literally means sex, there is nothing wrong if you marry because you need sex, do not let these unicorn lovers tell you otherwise.

 If you ever ran for President, I would be the first person to vote for you xD

 

If only the alims I knew weren't sunni...I could get married :(

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Sunni Alim should tell you the same thing, Nikah is a Sunnah of the prophet, it would be weird if a Sunni contradicted Sunna.

 

But years of cultural addition to the Islamic fiqh system in the subcontinent have made it almost unrecognizable. I like to think it's Hindu Fiqh in Islamic garb.

 

Aside from that, social attitudes are way too hostile to anything remotely similar to the Sunnah. Plus, the ulema--at least in Bangladesh--isn't really an independent class anymore. The amount of freedom they enjoy in preaching the Sunnah is far less compared to the freedom enjoyed by their peers in India and Pakistan. One can only pray...

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Oh I assumed you were Turkish. I see what you mean, if you discuss sex in that culture, you get called shameless.

Shameless is too civil a term. Try pervert.

 

It's strange that you can't discuss sex in the subcontinent--I mean, the Kama Sutra did come out of this region! lol

I wouldn't be surprised if a sexual revolution broke out here as well.

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Shameless is too civil a term. Try pervert.

 

It's strange that you can't discuss sex in the subcontinent--I mean, the Kama Sutra did come out of this region! lol

I wouldn't be surprised if a sexual revolution broke out here as well.

I think the British had some hand in ruining the Indian culture before they took over, ever wondered why Indians always see white British as superior?

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