How Should An Islamic Wedding Be Performed?

[Shiawave]

Salam dear sisters and brothers

 

As the title says, how should an Islamic wedding be performed?

Then there are those who say if there is no music in it (because its haram) its going to be a boring wedding etc etc.

 

Im not getting married :D, just asking because im curious about it, because i know muslim ppl who are having marriages, with music, dancing, men/women together and more.

 

[Shiawave]

?

[Reza]

Most people have trouble finding someone to begin with, let alone thinking about the wedding. 

[labaikYaZahra]

This is actually a good topic, I would also like some ideas for my wedding. Mine will definitely be separate, and no music but I might play halal nasheeds in the background. At one wedding I heard about, they hired a lady to apply henna for the guests throughout the night. If I can't come up with anything better by then that's probably what I'll just do. 

[Shiawave]

Well, magma just because people cannot find half of their deen yet, dosent mean we dont have to discuss how to have an islamic wedding. If there are already or topics which has discussed this issue i would like a link - i tried to search on shiachat.com but couldnt find anything at all.

Thanks :)

[Reza]

In my view, an "Islamic" wedding would cease to be a wedding the way we understand and envision it.  Weddings are drenched in culture to the core, more so than any practice in human history.  People will not change that until, as Heston would say, "when you pry it from cold dead hands".  Good luck convincing anyone to change their perfect day and good time.  And since weddings involve multiple people, the chance of it being corrupted in one way or another increases exponentially. 

 

Combine long held rituals and traditions, the belief this is "the most important day of your life", people's natural inclination to lose inhibitions, and numerous other factors, and you have every wedding, in one way or another, become an improper gathering. 

 

The most Islamic thing you can do is rush to get your certificate from the Imam and civic office, make the marriage official, and then have a small dinner with close friends and relatives.  But that's not the dream, right?  That's not good enough for those little princes and princesses out there, is it?  No, it must be spectacular!  Right?

[Marbles]

In my view, an "Islamic" wedding would cease to be a wedding the way we understand and envision it.  Weddings are drenched in culture to the core, more so than any practice in human history.  People will not change that until, as Heston would say, "when you pry it from cold dead hands".  Good luck convincing anyone to change their perfect day and good time.  And since weddings involve multiple people, the chance of it being corrupted in one way or another increases exponentially. 

 

Combine long held rituals and traditions, the belief this is "the most important day of your life", people's natural inclination to lose inhibitions, and numerous other factors, and you have every wedding, in one way or another, become an improper gathering. 

 

The most Islamic thing you can do is rush to get your certificate from the Imam and civic office, make the marriage official, and then have a small dinner with close friends and relatives.  But that's not the dream, right?  That's not good enough for those little princes and princesses out there, is it?  No, it must be spectacular!  Right?

 

For those who are marrying with the intention of getting married only once it's indeed the most important day of their lives and one can see why it makes sense to make it spectacular. So if you can help it without putting an axe to your financial feet, why not.

[l'Optimiste]

While it's a sad reality that weddings that observe all of Islam's rules are not all that common,I have seen quite a few of them that managed to combine culture, the 'big day' dream, and Islam. It can take many forms depending on the couple and their culture.

I suppose you mean to target specific un-Islamic things and ask for suggestions for substitutes? If so, specificity would be helpful. Like nasheeds in lieu of music, gender segregated halls etc.

[Reza]

For those who are marrying with the intention of getting married only once it's indeed the most important day of their lives and one can see why it makes sense to make it spectacular. So if you can help it without putting an axe to your financial feet, why not.

 

It's this mentality of "most important day" and "only once" that allows so many messed up things to become excusable....

 

Maybe I'm a pessimist, but I tend not to trust people.  I don't trust people that they won't go overboard and turn weddings into materialist showcasing, flesh peddling, and sensory overloading.  It's bound to happen, and it will.  Our experiences should tell you this.

 

Practices like music, dancing, etc are only symptoms of a much bigger issue, and that is people's very perception of what a wedding is supposed to mean.  Public weddings should only be meant to promote marriage in a community and unite families, not show off egos and to gratify one's self ego, and to just "let loose".

Edited November 23, 2014 by magma

[Ali-F]

I think it differs from culture to culture. I.e. how the wedding is performed. However, some rules must be observed, for instance, music and dancing.

[Shiawave]

Ali-F

You are right, culture also has a place in weddings.