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BabyBeaverIsAKit

Working/studying Moms + Pregnancy

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For all of you working/studying/career-minded women: When do you think is a good time to have a baby? How did you balance your career and your pregnancy/children?

I didnt really work in a conventional office based setting - I used to and still do freelancing. However, I got pregnant in the 3rd month of our marriage and its been crazy ever since. I had our second child 7 months' back and things have got crazier. But that's owing to the fact that my husband did not contribute at all neither to taking care of the kids or earning so it all came down to me, which is why i guess it was and is this bad.

 

I dont know if this is a general question or something for yourself, but anyone reading this, if you have a supportive husband, its going to be a dream. but still, wait it out a while,  talk things through with your husband and then come to a decision.

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There is never a convenient time to have a child, but if you have a supportive husband and family it is almost always possible to balance children, studies, and career. Some compromises will need to be made to figure out what is best for the family.

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^Thanks for your response. The above is something I already know, but to prepare me for the practical side of it, I'd like some specifics and hopefully some personal experiences on this thread.

 

As far as having a baby-- did you take maternity leave? Did you have to take any major exams while pregnant (not university exams, like licensing or certification exams)?

 

How exactly did you balance it? Baby-sitters? Daycare? Working part-time?

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From personal experience I can tell you it is not easy. I am a single mom so I don't have the support of a husband to help at home. I couldn't take a maternity leave because I was the only source of income. I lived with my family when I found out I was pregnant but I had recently taken my shahada as well and my family didn't approve of my decision. Although our relationship is not the greatest they have been helpful when it comes to my son. He spends the day at my parents while I work. And I pick him up and take online classes so I don't have to be away from him longer than I need to. If I could I would be working less hours so I could spend more time with him but at the moment it's not possible. I have taken licensing exams to become a real estate agent and I've been working on getting a business started as well with some friends who are like family to me. I'm hoping that in the near future I can spend more time with him even if that means bringing him along with me to work. Inshallah I will be able to leave the office environment and open my own business so I can be free to make my own hours.

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When my boys were little, right after I returned to finish my degree my then-husband permanently checked himself into a mental hospital so I became a single mom. I worked in my home, so that helped a lot. I went to class from 8-4, worked 4:30-2:30 (though often I was done early, about 10:30 or so,) and did most of the routine homework and reading between classes, though I did have to give up a lot of sleep too.

I've not worked AND had classes while caring for an infant, but my little sister did. Her husband is great plus my parents did/do a lot of babysitting for her. She has a flexible work schedule, but has two jobs and also does volunteer work. (By choice, not financial necessity.)

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When my first son was born, I took maternity leave starting just before he was born and returned to work when he was 3 months old. I was dissatisfied with my child care arrangement, so I started working from home, providing child care for other working families.

When my second son was born on a Monday evening, I was back at work Tuesday afternoon. However, working at home is very different from working outside, plus I had nobody else who could earn money or care for my 2-year-old, as my then-husband's mental health was already declining severely and my family isn't close. I would have preferred to have some time off.

When my daughter was born I was unemployed.

We've got a fourth one due next year, and I'm unemployed again. I've given up on looking for work because I'm visibly pregnant and nobody hires pregnant engineers these days and my husband is taking care of us financially. I'm taking a couple online classes, but it's all pretty low stress nowadays.

I like my profession, but I don't love it. If I can stay home and take care of my family, I'd rather do that, though I do still plan to take the Professional Engineer licensing exam within the next 18 months. That's the biggest part of why I'm taking online classes.

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I know, I dont fit the categary you are asking the question to but I would avoid making babies in the first two years of marriage.

Most couples expect their life to be happy after the wedding ceremony. A pregnancy can put a strain on the marriage, especially if the wife is throwing up with "morning sickness" and is not her happy self. If the couple both agree to use a birth control method for a while, they can spend their time getting better acquainted and building a strong marriage.

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If the couple both agree to use a birth control method for a while, they can spend their time getting better acquainted and building a strong marriage.

Yes,thats why I suggest to not have babies in the first two years. Alot of my friends got pregent straight away,for me thats not the right thing to do. I feel that you need to live with the individal and build a strong relationship (like you stated) before making a child. Plus within those two years you can also see if the indivudal you married is actually right for you or not.

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