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In the Name of God بسم الله
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Khalilallah

I Don't Understand Why...

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It depends on their environment. For example, in my family only one women has married before the age of 24 and marriage be for that age is shameful in my family. Whereas in my local community many women get married 18-22 yrs of age. So it depends on what the girl was raised with.

However, some girls do use the excuse of being too young to refuse a suitor. So you cant generalize all women.

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They might be more willing if they are assured that they would be helped to finish their studies.

Men and women nowadays are reluctant to mature. Marriage, and especially childbearing, forces maturity upon a woman to a much greater extent than on a man.

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So, you got your answer. Don't worry brother, now you can retaliate... ... ... i'm sorry another poor choice of word... you can respond by showing that you're a gentlemen. Such," i understand, do you mind telling me on what parameter that you'll be ready?" or "is there any way i can help you with that?". Or any respond that suit your culture that will require her feedback, this way you're opening up a chance to communicate.

 

Don't worry brother, If the time come, the time come. If she meant for you, then she meant for you. If she's not meant for you, pray to Allah SWT. the replacement would be better. If the replacement not better then her, then pray to Allah SWT. this is your eeman that you'll accept what Allah SWT. provided to you.

 

Salam Brother, be strong. love someone because you love your God.

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It's early. Am 23 and sometimes I think its way to early to get married. In my head 26 seems to be the right age,but ofcourse if you find the right indivudal then maybe you worint see it as to early..

Well what is the right type of a guy:

 

I offered to:

 

- Help her with her studies

- let her free, I did not ask her to do any task at all

- I said there is absolutely 0% chance of problems

- She said she doesn't want to marry until a few years, I said me too.

 

I am religious and have been praised for my ikhlaq many times, she is religious too.

 

I guess the only thing remains for me to be the "right person" is to have a six pack, and be rich.

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I guess the only thing remains for me to be the "right person" is to have a six pack, and be rich.

That is insulting to the girl. If you really feel that way about her, she's lucky she said no.

Did you pressure her? If you did, don't.

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Seriously notme we are not all like the man you are thinking of.

 

That is not at all how I feel, I just don't seem to get what the "right person" is, I did not even get a chance.

 

I did not pressure her at all, we have seen each other a few times at gatherings but never spoke. I asked my mum to ask her mum, and I asked the brother of the girl to give the girl my email and phone number so that she can ask me any question she might have, which is when she said no through her brother's account. 

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she said no through her brother's account.

Is it possible her brother said no based on his own criteria? Don't take rejection personally, young brother. There are a thousand reasons for a person to say no, and most of them have nothing to do with you.

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Salam. Brother you have to understand that most guys get rejected multiple times before they find the right one who he wants and who wants him. 

This is just part of the process. I know it feels really horrible at the time. The first few times are the most difficult, after that it doesn't affect you as much. 

Just keep asking and eventually you will find. I agree that the process is made more difficult than it should be by certain cultural practices that some suppose are part of the religion 

 

Some of the families suppose their daughter is a princess sitting on a throne until their daughter reaches her early thirties and still single. Then it is too late. I saw some of these at MC during the Heavenly Match sessions. Really sad actually. These were the ones who usually blame the organizers of the program when they fail to find someone. 

Edited by Abu Hadi

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the truth is.........

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she is said yes to me.

 

Btw, what would you do if a girl asked you for marriage and you did not find her attractive or whatever plausible reason you would have created for the rejection?  - Think about this one. weeeaaallll haardd!

Edited by D3v1L

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Well what is the right type of a guy:

 

I offered to:

 

- Help her with her studies

- let her free, I did not ask her to do any task at all

- I said there is absolutely 0% chance of problems

- She said she doesn't want to marry until a few years, I said me too.

 

I am religious and have been praised for my ikhlaq many times, she is religious too.

 

I guess the only thing remains for me to be the "right person" is to have a six pack, and be rich.

What you offered her is great,she will either regret it later or her parents might regret it. You know some families reject the person before they even let girl know.

I dont get it,theirs so many people in the world yet no one can find what they want. Being financelly stable attracts parents,it just means that you will make life easier for their daughter,shes in safe hands..lol..

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I don't understand why shia Muslim women aged 18-20 think it is too early for them to get married?

 

Do they actually believe it is too early or do they use this as an excuse to reject proposals?

 

It's ludicrous to saddle yourself with marriage at such a young age in this time period. But Islame demands your get married, or stay celibate.

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