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In the Name of God بسم الله
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Khalilallah

Sitting Quietly Next To Friends.

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I used to think that there should never be a moment of silence when sitting with friends and so I was always a fool who had to say something.

 

Now I am someone who speaks when he has something to say.

 

Too much words can be harmful and anti-social. Too much talking can lead to mistakes. One should speak when one has something to say.

 

When sitting with other people now a days, I only speak when I have something good to say or I have an appropriate response.

However not everyone is like this, there are those who sit next to me and I feel like they are constantly uncomfortable because I am not saying anything. 

 

What I am doing now, not talking to much, talking only when necessary and useful or fits in with the social requirement, such as expressing an emotion through a few words or greetings. Is this right?

 

Tell me how I should behave around other people, I have never learnt anything on this, all I have learned and practice is now is from experience and mistakes.

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Isn't it weird how we all have to talk about random stuff with people just for the sake of it? When you're with true friends, the awkward silence doesn't exist. Sometimes, you just have to zip up and enjoy the silence. As for the normal mundane stuff, just give your opinion on everything and indulge in trivial discussions. If you don't feel like talking, don't talk. 

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I used to think that there should never be a moment of silence when sitting with friends and so I was always a fool who had to say something.

 

Now I am someone who speaks when he has something to say.

 

Too much words can be harmful and anti-social. Too much talking can lead to mistakes. One should speak when one has something to say.

 

When sitting with other people now a days, I only speak when I have something good to say or I have an appropriate response.

However not everyone is like this, there are those who sit next to me and I feel like they are constantly uncomfortable because I am not saying anything. 

 

What I am doing now, not talking to much, talking only when necessary and useful or fits in with the social requirement, such as expressing an emotion through a few words or greetings. Is this right?

 

Tell me how I should behave around other people, I have never learnt anything on this, all I have learned and practice is now is from experience and mistakes.

I think this comes naturally to most people, and therefore its not often discussed. 

Usually we speak freely with our friends.... we have conversations, we say random things, and we have comfortable silences. 

I have known a young man like you. He was a dear friend and therapy really helped him become more socially adept. He had to learn to pick up the non-verbal cues etc. 

Good luck! and dont let the stigma around therapy put you off! 

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Bismillah.

 

Salaam.

 

Here is a narration as my gift to you:

 

"قال رسول الله (ص): مَنْ كانَ يُؤْمِنُ بِاللَّهِ وَ الْيَوْمِ الْآخِرِ فَلْيَقُلْ خَيْراً أَوْ لِيَسْكُتْ‏."

 

“The Prophet (p) said: the one who has faith in Allah and the Last Day must either say good or remain silent.” (Kafi, vol.2, p.667, H.6)

 

With Duas.

 

Narsis.

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