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In the Name of God بسم الله

Muta Tempory Marriage (I'm Confused)

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Salam,

My partner and I have decided to do muta, to make our relationship halal. We done it for a duration of 4 years before we get married, but I still feel guilty. I'm so confused whether we're doing the right thing and whether us dating is halal now that we've done muta. Are there any conditions that must be made in order for muta to be accepted, or am I just over thinking the situation and what we're doing is halal. Help me please I'm so confused sisters.

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What, specifically, do you feel guilty about? Mutah is a form of marriage, but it is also similar to "dating". Before making the agreement, you can agree to whatever conditions you both choose, but once the agreement has been made without conditions, it is the same as marriage for the specified term, with just a few exceptions.

If you are dependent on your parents and never previously married, you need the permission of your guardian, same as in permanent marriage.

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Wa alaikum asalaam.

If your marriage was done properly then there is nothing to be ashamed of. Sometimes there is a stigma against muta and so that could make one feel ashamed but it has no religious bearing.

The requirements for a valid muta marriage are:

- Stated time period

- Agreed mahr

- Proper "formula" recited in Arabic

- Some scholars say that if it's your first marriage you are required to have your father's permission. Not all scholars agree, however, and the aHadeeth mainly talk about maturity and not father's permission.

If the above requirements are satisfied, your marriage is completely valid Islamically and there is nothing wrong with it.

I wish the best of luck to you and your husband in sha2 Allah :)

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Wa alaikum asalaam.

If your marriage was done properly then there is nothing to be ashamed of. Sometimes there is a stigma against muta and so that could make one feel ashamed but it has no religious bearing.

The requirements for a valid muta marriage are:

- Stated time period

- Agreed mahr

- Proper "formula" recited in Arabic

- Some scholars say that if it's your first marriage you are required to have your father's permission. Not all scholars agree, however, and the aHadeeth mainly talk about maturity and not father's permission.

If the above requirements are satisfied, your marriage is completely valid Islamically and there is nothing wrong with it.

I wish the best of luck to you and your husband in sha2 Allah :)

 

walaikumsalam sis

 

All of the post that Agora wrote is correct and fantastic!. Also please do double check with your marja, that is very important about father's permission.

 

p.s. Agora your DP is very cute and hilarious :LOL:

Edited by 786repenting
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Really? I hadn't heard that one before. Are you including Muta under the marriage category here? Do you know which Marja's ruling that is?

AFAIK, all of them, unless the woman is adult, never previously married, and/or financially independent. The mutah can proceed without the father's permission if he rejected the proposal for un-Islamic reasons.

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Really? I hadn't heard that one before. Are you including Muta under the marriage category here? Do you know which Marja's ruling that is?

Yes I am. I don't know which maraji specifically have this ruling but Sayed Sistani does, for example. But as I said, it is not really found in our aHadeeth literature (AFAIK). The more authentic requirement is that the woman be mature (baligh).

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No, what I meant is: Are there any marja' who say you don't need your father's permission if it's your second Muta? (where there are no secondary reasons like un-islamic rejection by Dad or financially independent woman)

 

(It was my fault, the phrasing's all wrong now that I read my post myself! :) )

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No, what I meant is: Are there any marja' who say you don't need your father's permission if it's your second Muta? (where there are no secondary reasons like un-islamic rejection by Dad or financially independent woman)

(It was my fault, the phrasing's all wrong now that I read my post myself! :) )

I don't think a woman needs her father's permission for second (or subsequent) marriage, according to any scholar. Perhaps she would if the first marriage was not consummated.

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Ah. I seem to have heard that last part. Thanks!

 

yes, a divorcee has full permission to marry who she likes. Fantastic laws of Allah made for everyone. It has sooo much wisdom in it. Allah knows there will be dumb cultural/honour marriages happening due to family pressure etc. Atleast she gets the second chance to marry whoever she wants :D

Edited by 786repenting
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yes, a divorcee has full permission to marry who she likes. Fantastic laws of Allah made for everyone. It has sooo much wisdom in it. Allah knows there will be dumb cultural/honour marriages happening due to family pressure etc. Atleast she gets the second chance to marry whoever she wants :D

 

Not really. It assumes virgin girls are incapable of making their own decisions and a woman who has "experienced" a man gains some sort of hikmah/mantiq from the experience, so NOW she can choose her own man. It's arbitrary from an objective point of view.

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Not really. It assumes virgin girls are incapable of making their own decisions and a woman who has "experienced" a man gains some sort of hikmah/mantiq from the experience, so NOW she can choose her own man. It's arbitrary from an objective point of view.

 

Allah has wisdom behind everything. How can you assume that is what Allah's law assumes? He doesn't have limited knowledge. it doesn't say a virgin has no right or say in a marriage. Just that she needs his permission. So if a good proposal comes and her dad is refusing on flimsy cultural reasons/many factors his guardianship drops anyway. So that means even if she is a virgin, she can still marry a religious person etc. It's not arbitrary, it's clear cut. 

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Allah has wisdom behind everything. 

Why did God become three entities, one of those entities being Jesus? The reason is that we don't know, but "God" has wisdom behind everything. 

All your statement is a deflection and ignores the question of why a virgin girl doesn't have enough brains to make an independent decision, but after she has had intercourse, she can make a decision.

 

 

 

How can you assume that is what Allah's law assumes? He doesn't have limited knowledge. it doesn't say a virgin has no right or say in a marriage. Just that she needs his permission. So if a good proposal comes and her dad is refusing on flimsy cultural reasons/many factors his guardianship drops anyway. So that means even if she is a virgin, she can still marry a religious person etc. It's not arbitrary, it's clear cut. 

 

Why does the mother have no say? Aren't we supposed to have more love/respect/honor/something positive towards our mothers? But all of a sudden, when it comes to permission, only a man can grant it?

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Why did God become three entities, one of those entities being Jesus? The reason is that we don't know, but "God" has wisdom behind everything. 

All your statement is a deflection and ignores the question of why a virgin girl doesn't have enough brains to make an independent decision, but after she has had intercourse, she can make a decision.

 

 

Why does the mother have no say? Aren't we supposed to have more love/respect/honor/something positive towards our mothers? But all of a sudden, when it comes to permission, only a man can grant it? her o

 

oh I'm sorry. I didn't know you were not muslim?. Muslims don't believe God doesn't have three entities. Jesus (a.s) was a prophet. God is one without partner or parts.  she CAN make an independent decision. Her father's guardianship cant force her to marry who HE wants. its about what SHE wants. Marriage is more than just intercourse dear. 

 

Woman has something called emotions. When they come in the way, decisions can be flawed. It doesn't say the mother can't contribute to the permission. It just means he should be approached first.

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- Some scholars say that if it's your first marriage you are required to have your father's permission. Not all scholars agree, however, and the aHadeeth mainly talk about maturity and not father's permission.

 

The above type of statement shouldn't be thrown around casually. From my understanding, basically all marjas say that the father's permission is required if the girl has never previously gotten her father's permission (maybe just a few marja are lenient on the requirement aspect, but even that has some conditions.  If the father's general behaviour & attitudes are unbecoming of a Muslim, that's a different situation, but not just like "well, he doesn't fast during Ramadan"... but I think even if the father isn't an appropriate Muslim to request permission from, maybe it's a grandfather who should be asked or something).  And if it's a 30+ woman who has a job, doesn't need parents to pay for stuff, lives on her own, etc. then that's also a different scenario (I don't remember if there's no condition at all, or if just a courtesy permission is good to do)... but anyway, my point is saying "no permission required" is misleading.

 
Frankly, I think it's a sensible policy, because my observation has been that a lot of girls haven't developed a very good "jerk radar" in their teen years (obviously, that's not the case for everyone, but as an example from society in general, one can see how so many girls bizarrely like "bad boy" celebrities, even when they commit crimes).  But to be fair, teenage guys are on average even more shallow, but usually go for looks rather than "female jerks".
 
But without a wali's permission aspect, there is a higher risk that a girl could get sweet-talked into mutah by a jerk.
 
And even with older women (like any person), they can sometimes just make baffling choices... for example, a high-profile Muslim woman from the US Democrat political party married a non-Muslim politician who got caught sending racy photos and texts to other women. A backup opinion via a permission requirement can help prevent cases like that, even if only a little bit.
Edited by Bright
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The above type of statement shouldn't be thrown around casually. From my understanding, basically all marjas say that the father's permission is required if the girl has never previously gotten her father's permission (maybe just a few marja are lenient on the requirement aspect, but even that has some conditions.  If the father's general behaviour & attitudes are unbecoming of a Muslim, that's a different situation, but not just like "well, he doesn't fast during Ramadan"... but I think even if the father isn't an appropriate Muslim to request permission from, maybe it's a grandfather who should be asked or something).  And if it's a 30+ woman who has a job, doesn't need parents to pay for stuff, lives on her own, etc. then that's also a different scenario (I don't remember if there's no condition at all, or if just a courtesy permission is good to do)... but anyway, my point is saying "no permission required" is misleading.

 
Frankly, I think it's a sensible policy, because my observation has been that a lot of girls haven't developed a very good "jerk radar" in their teen years (obviously, that's not the case for everyone, but as an example from society in general, one can see how so many girls bizarrely like "bad boy" celebrities, even when they commit crimes).  But to be fair, teenage guys are on average even more shallow, but usually go for looks rather than "female jerks".
 
But without a wali's permission aspect, there is a higher risk that a girl could get sweet-talked into mutah by a jerk.
 
And even with older women (like any person), they can sometimes just make baffling choices... for example, a high-profile Muslim woman from the US Democrat political party married a non-Muslim politician who got caught sending racy photos and texts to other women. A backup opinion via a permission requirement can help prevent cases like that, even if only a little bit.

 

 

This sounds good on the face, but it plays into the stereotype that women are pure and innocent, waiting to be taken advantage of by sweet-talking jerks or men who send racy photos to other women. As such, we need to guard them "for their own benefit".

 

As long as we teach that women NEED their wali to protect them, we will have women who need protecting. 

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This sounds good on the face, but it plays into the stereotype that women are pure and innocent, waiting to be taken advantage of by sweet-talking jerks or men who send racy photos to other women. As such, we need to guard them "for their own benefit".

 

As long as we teach that women NEED their wali to protect them, we will have women who need protecting. 

 

I didn't notice earlier that this was the Sisters Forum, and I also don't want to derail her thread with a philosophical discussion, so I replied here, in a general thread where the issue is also discussed:

http://www.shiachat.com/forum/topic/235024238-is-mutah-frowned-upon-in-your-culture/page-4#entry2736585

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Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah!

 

What do you think about the following two ahadith:

 

Muslim: Book 008, Number 3262:

 

Sabra al-Juhanni reported on the authority of his father: Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) prohibited the contracting of temporary marriage and said: Behold, it is forbidden from this very day of yours to the Day of Resurrection, and he who has given something (as a dower) should not take it back.

 

Muslim: Book 008, Number 3266:

 

'Ali (Allah be pleased with him) heard that Ibn Abbas (Allah be pleased with them) gave some relaxation in connection with the contracting of temporary marriage, whereupon he said: Don't be hasty (in your religious verdict), Ibn 'Abbas, for Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) on the Day of Khaibar prohibited for ever the doing of it-And eating of the flesh of domestic asses.

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